Cosmos #12 | Time to treat myself right!

So... I know I'm starting not to be blogging as regular as before. Well, things happen and priorities changes each time. While I do miss blogging here, there are times where I feel I have mentioned too much personal things here and I just want a break from it. I have an urge to try other things out and be more motivated than sticking to just here lol. Well for sure, I won't totally abandon this place but just that.... I won't be appearing here that often, maybe. =/

Let's just see what happens for the past weeks. I was irritated with work, again and again. Problems can only come up one after another. And then, this week I was worrying over a customer's request and felt a little guilty that I'm afraid I made the mistake trying to accede to his request. >_< I swear I will not repeat it again and be more careful alright. Other than that?  Co-workers complaining over all sorts of things again and again.

Who can ever feel that there's any morale anymore? -_-

Anyway, unhappy things aside. Just look at what's been making me happy. haha.

^Lovely gifts received from my dearie who went to Japan for holiday! (☆∀☆)

^Got the free Kumamon bag from mosburger for eating their limited edition burger. Oh, but I wasn't the one eating it. lol.

^Time to use the perfume and body lotion/wash after keeping them for so long! I bought the other brand of water gel and it just works as well in keeping my skin moisturised. Just that, it didn't have the feeling as good as Hada lobo though. Now I wonder which one still I stick to using.

Now I have a crazy amount of masks to use! Those are of which I received as gifts again and so I didn't need to buy for long time. hahaa. I really need to use as much as I can since I don't have much space to store them altogether.

Was shopping at Daiso yesterday and there isn't much that I can buy though. But at least I'm glad they have come up with new stocks of Wa styled hair accessories so I bought one scrunchy! I love the hairband I got too! The hairbands that I've bought throughout my life just keeps spoiling for whatsoever reasons! (=ﾟДﾟ=) I hope this one last a bit longer. lol. And there, I feel having the urge to buy more hair accessories and treat my hair much better. I need to make myself look prettier right? There are some I just can't bear to throw away yet. Well I guess I need time to go through them again and once I got better ones I shall just clear time.

Time to treat myself right!!

Cosmos #11 | Mind blank

I had a day off yesterday but it wasn't that well spent since I had no idea what to do other than going to the salon. I went for shopping around the area since I had to travel that far just for the salon trip, so might as well I should just walk around and see what I can get. But alas, there isn't any interesting things around nor on sale. What vexed me is that the small backpacks that I spotted on have to be in black!! All of them! It's annoying that they don't sell in other colours and the clothes around are so appalling. Not a good shopping time. There you go, wasted an hour and a half of walking for nothing. lol.

So this week, what's up with me? I was stunned for a moment when my co-worker pointed out that I seemed to be getting really moody. And she suspected that it might be due to work. I was taken aback for the sudden comment to come when there's only both of us in the room. Damn, did I reveal myself too easily? Am I really that obvious and unable to hide my thoughts? I shook her off saying I have no idea whatsoever. But her response seems like she might not believe. But, WHATEVER. I don't care what she thinks. She has too much to complain and be poky about anyway. I had enough of that. What's even making me down is that manager has to complain to me about them. They complain about each other at me. Why do I have to be the one to absorb the negative energy? I had enough too. But can I complain about them? Noooo!! Why should I turn myself to be like them? Yeah but I really need a place to vent out my frustration and dissatisfaction too since it's been making me feel a lot worse and  as time goes, it made me dislike my job even more.(T ^ T)

Yeah, there shouldn't be any problem with me. The problem is not with me but the people who worked too long to abuse their authority. I hate that I have to blamed for something while the seniors won't be. Well there could be unfairness everywhere isn't it? But the fact that this constant bearing is gonna take a toll on me. (┯_┯)

Maybe it was for the fact that I have to go through such nonsense for the past working days that made my mind blank. I have no idea what I can do about it. I just don't feel like appearing for work anymore. I felt so dreaded to work that I've been late for the whole of this week. I wonder did anyone noticed. I was unmotivated. And unhappy too. There's another thing which brings my concern is that even my hairstylist told me that I looked really pale yesterday and thought that I might be too stressed from work. Damn I got a shock when I hear this from her! It must be obvious how bad I looked like that made her think that way right? I didn't know it reflected so much on my face. Although I just got recovered but shouldn't I be looking better? Since my throat was much much better now.  (・・;) I was also tired yesterday even though I did nothing else before I went out. Well... one thing for sure is that, I'M REALLY UNHAPPY.

Did talking about this right now helps at all? I can't leave because I need the money to support the family. It's tough since I have to bear it all because of obligations. So it makes me really unhappy that I cannot do something I like at all but to always do a job for the sake of the money. I'm really tired out. If this is carrying on any further I think I will be ruined. Why do I have to be the one? Who cares about me? Somehow this world is just shit.

I know there's too much negativity here. But I still need my place to at least cry my heart out. Whether or not I feel better. Whether or not things get better. At least I did something today.

And know what, I had the worst buffet ever in my whole life today. The only decent food that I can eat is salad. So not worth to be there at a buffet restaurant. But seriously the food sucks like hell. Nothing is working for me now.


So let me cry at the end of this tonight. Just before I go to bed.

~( ´•︵•` )~