I'm happy to see Jenn Im making a video about confidence! She has always give me the impression of being confident with herself that I tend to look up to her in all sorts of ways especially in expressing myself. So I guess many of her viewers think the same way as I do, until that she receives so many comments to do a video about this. Just sadly I didn't participate in asking her to do such advice videos for us. haha.
Well then at least to hear from Jenn that she have her insecurities even right now just that it didn't consume her that much. It made me feel she also human and not faking too much at how great she is now. (^o^) I hope her tips will help me in some way too.
Let me note down her 5 life lessons~:
01. Stop judging other people - People who talks bad about others are usually the ones who are insecure about themselves.
02. Look straight ahead when walking in public - Ignore having eye contact with random strangers and just walk your way.
03. Listen to a badass playlist - Music has a huge impact in your life. Stuff that makes your heart pound and confident.
04. Stretch yourself - It will hurt a little but it's the way that you grow. Stop avoiding stuffs that you don't wanna do. The more you do something, the easier it becomes.
05. You will grow into who you are as long as you absorb - NOW is the time to develop your interest, because that is gonna shape who you are.
I think the most crucial about confidence is able to identify and understand yourself, and show the world who you are. Easier said than done. lol. It's something that I'm still working on although I'm pretty much sure of myself what I'm good at and what I like to do. But probably about 60%. (・_・) I'm cool I can come up with this magical number as of now. hahaa.
Let's see if her tips do work for me or not. I might have my own ways somehow or other. This lagger is just gonna take her time~~ ♪(^ε^)-☆
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Showing posts with label inspiring☆. Show all posts
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Sunday, February 26, 2017
Saturday, February 18, 2017
When I'm unmotivated...
I just have to remind myself how much I deserve some rest before I can do better... But I just don't have the mood. My stomach keeps playing games with me and fooling with my brain. I don't wanna do anything else when I just can't move! My brain is not cooperating with my heart either. Nothing can ever get done..... Or is that so? 。・°°・(＞_＜)・°°・
Probably once every few moments I get myself to look up at "How to be motivated" but I wasn't totally in to reading everything from the webpage so hahaha. This is what my mood is doing to me. Although I used to post something about motivation before but it's something different since I'm taking it off from the diet part.
Right now I'm kinda on the way to pick myself up again. Probably I've felt better from settling most of the things from work so nothing big is weighing on my shoulders as much as before. Maybe because I get to eat a favourite dish of mine - the Scallop miso cream pasta and yummy Earl grey milk pudding that's melting in my mouth. ♡ Maybe because I discovered a new short anime and it made me happy again. I am happy for little bits of things that I came across in my everyday life, which made me feel I didn't live so bad. haha. So... how bad can this be? Just because I wasn't productive enough to do all the things I wanted to? Aren't they supposed to be done leisurely in a relaxing manner and not pushing myself too hard? Isn't this true?
So the answers should be....
● Stay positive no matter what. Things will get better.
● I have many idols I look up to lol. But my focus right now is on myself rather than spending too much time on envying how great their life is etc. So what I should learn and remind myself constantly is their attitude and what they're doing.
● Yes I should learn to make things fun!! Always think of how I can make an activity like studying a pleasure. A music? A treat? Shopping time? (≧▽≦)
● Maybe I should do some meditate to clear my mind of everything too.
● I think try something new should also be on the list.
● Getting excited and having anticipation for the end result should also be as important.
● And always smile by looking at smiling photos of my favourite idols or those I love cos that will up my mood level.
Well then, I should be motivated after this.
Especially after seeing those smiles. =)
Never never to forget what's keeping me moving and how it all get me started. ლ
Probably once every few moments I get myself to look up at "How to be motivated" but I wasn't totally in to reading everything from the webpage so hahaha. This is what my mood is doing to me. Although I used to post something about motivation before but it's something different since I'm taking it off from the diet part.
Right now I'm kinda on the way to pick myself up again. Probably I've felt better from settling most of the things from work so nothing big is weighing on my shoulders as much as before. Maybe because I get to eat a favourite dish of mine - the Scallop miso cream pasta and yummy Earl grey milk pudding that's melting in my mouth. ♡ Maybe because I discovered a new short anime and it made me happy again. I am happy for little bits of things that I came across in my everyday life, which made me feel I didn't live so bad. haha. So... how bad can this be? Just because I wasn't productive enough to do all the things I wanted to? Aren't they supposed to be done leisurely in a relaxing manner and not pushing myself too hard? Isn't this true?
So the answers should be....
● Stay positive no matter what. Things will get better.
● I have many idols I look up to lol. But my focus right now is on myself rather than spending too much time on envying how great their life is etc. So what I should learn and remind myself constantly is their attitude and what they're doing.
● Yes I should learn to make things fun!! Always think of how I can make an activity like studying a pleasure. A music? A treat? Shopping time? (≧▽≦)
● Maybe I should do some meditate to clear my mind of everything too.
● I think try something new should also be on the list.
● Getting excited and having anticipation for the end result should also be as important.
● And always smile by looking at smiling photos of my favourite idols or those I love cos that will up my mood level.
Well then, I should be motivated after this.
Especially after seeing those smiles. =)
Never never to forget what's keeping me moving and how it all get me started. ლ
Saturday, January 07, 2017
Spark the enthusiasm in me!
Yeah something that I'm happy with is that Aileen has replied to my comments on her videos!! It's very nice to know when my favourite youtuber respond to me. （＾∇＾） I tried doing so for Jenn Im (clothes encounters) a few times but she has never replied to me so I guess probably it's just hard to get noticed by really popular ones like her. Well I expected it but then, whenever I get replies it just made me feel really good that they noticed such a small fry like me haha. I just have this little urge to know whether they have read my comment and acknowledge my little presence of giving them support. (^_^);
Honestly in 2016 I watched almost all the videos Jenn im uploaded during the year [I can't remember if it's from the start of the year or the middle] since she's been actively uploading them and I like to see how her life goes. I'm probably just very envious of how outgoing she is and having such a fulfilling life better than mine and that's why I've been watching them all consistently. I think I was motivated in some way to be like her, which is why I've been actively asking my friends out too. haha. But I've no idea how this year will be like since....as for now I'm not in the mood and condition yet. Well anyway, let's be back to this:
The theme for the year really hasn't come across my mind until I saw Aileen mentioned it. So she made me think about it for a while. I guess for last year's mine would be to 'love myself' and I think I did it since I did pamper myself in some way, especially making trips to the hair salon. hehe. ｖ（=＾0＾=）ｖ
For this year, I want to be more motivated to do all the things I wanted to in my list. Therefore I decided the theme to be: Spark the enthusiasm in me!
That's when I read a blog post and thought that this certainly fits it. You show the enthusiasm when you exude that vibrant energy such as giving tips and not holding back. For promoters this is good since many of us are easily influenced by emotions and not making rational decisions mostly. Although we might ended up with a regret purchase, we will come up with reasons to convince ourselves that there is nothing wrong of us to do so. Ahh.. so this is about having the emotions.
But of course this resulted in lots of questions that come to my mind now.
How am I going to have the right emotion of enthusiasm to complete all the goals I wanted to? The answer is that I need energy.
But then how do I have the energy? The answer should be that I need sleep. [wikihow says it in Method 3, although I'm mentioning this on purpose among all the methods. hahaha.]
Bravo. I'm doing a self-ask self-answer and I think I got them right. (≧▽≦)
Hey so does this means I have every reason to go sleep and be lazy? xD Well but I'm just joking for now. I need quality sleep, that's the thing. The problem has came back again just before the first day of work this year where I just went over a little time to do my stuffs even though I was really sleepy already. And just because of that, my sleepiness went away so it ended up that I was unable to sleep the whole night. How hateful is this. I thought this sleeping problem should have ended last year since I got better. But it seems like it's hard to resolve it. =( Well because I know it's gonna be hard for me to fall asleep if my sleepiness is over so whenever I feel sleepy I just make myself go to bed. Who knows I have to continue doing that until now? (,_,) So you see, sleep is still important to me. I'm trying hard to get really good sleep so that I have enough energy to do what I want when I have enough rest. (T ^ T)
But on one hand, this just boils down to use time effectively. Yet I believe I really need the sleep so that I have the mood and energy. I mean I know myself well cos I have forced myself before to study at a fixed time but it just didn't work. I'm so afraid the sleep problem will haunt me back again. It's really a pain that it continues even till now. Yet now I'm also afraid of feeling empty if I didn't achieve any of those that I wanted to do badly. It's just that.....it's really hard for me to stay energetic most of the time. And that is why I can't balance with having to work and study at the same time. It'll drain too much energy out of me and I feel I will break apart. How I wished I can really venture into another line that doesn't make me feel so tired out like now. (x_x)
Well well well...now that I've rested a bit and able to think clearly, I need music to influence my mood now. Since I've completed my spring cleaning faster than I thought, it's time to do many of those which are as important too.
I need the spark!
Honestly in 2016 I watched almost all the videos Jenn im uploaded during the year [I can't remember if it's from the start of the year or the middle] since she's been actively uploading them and I like to see how her life goes. I'm probably just very envious of how outgoing she is and having such a fulfilling life better than mine and that's why I've been watching them all consistently. I think I was motivated in some way to be like her, which is why I've been actively asking my friends out too. haha. But I've no idea how this year will be like since....as for now I'm not in the mood and condition yet. Well anyway, let's be back to this:
The theme for the year really hasn't come across my mind until I saw Aileen mentioned it. So she made me think about it for a while. I guess for last year's mine would be to 'love myself' and I think I did it since I did pamper myself in some way, especially making trips to the hair salon. hehe. ｖ（=＾0＾=）ｖ
For this year, I want to be more motivated to do all the things I wanted to in my list. Therefore I decided the theme to be: Spark the enthusiasm in me!
That's when I read a blog post and thought that this certainly fits it. You show the enthusiasm when you exude that vibrant energy such as giving tips and not holding back. For promoters this is good since many of us are easily influenced by emotions and not making rational decisions mostly. Although we might ended up with a regret purchase, we will come up with reasons to convince ourselves that there is nothing wrong of us to do so. Ahh.. so this is about having the emotions.
But of course this resulted in lots of questions that come to my mind now.
How am I going to have the right emotion of enthusiasm to complete all the goals I wanted to? The answer is that I need energy.
But then how do I have the energy? The answer should be that I need sleep. [wikihow says it in Method 3, although I'm mentioning this on purpose among all the methods. hahaha.]
Bravo. I'm doing a self-ask self-answer and I think I got them right. (≧▽≦)
Hey so does this means I have every reason to go sleep and be lazy? xD Well but I'm just joking for now. I need quality sleep, that's the thing. The problem has came back again just before the first day of work this year where I just went over a little time to do my stuffs even though I was really sleepy already. And just because of that, my sleepiness went away so it ended up that I was unable to sleep the whole night. How hateful is this. I thought this sleeping problem should have ended last year since I got better. But it seems like it's hard to resolve it. =( Well because I know it's gonna be hard for me to fall asleep if my sleepiness is over so whenever I feel sleepy I just make myself go to bed. Who knows I have to continue doing that until now? (,_,) So you see, sleep is still important to me. I'm trying hard to get really good sleep so that I have enough energy to do what I want when I have enough rest. (T ^ T)
But on one hand, this just boils down to use time effectively. Yet I believe I really need the sleep so that I have the mood and energy. I mean I know myself well cos I have forced myself before to study at a fixed time but it just didn't work. I'm so afraid the sleep problem will haunt me back again. It's really a pain that it continues even till now. Yet now I'm also afraid of feeling empty if I didn't achieve any of those that I wanted to do badly. It's just that.....it's really hard for me to stay energetic most of the time. And that is why I can't balance with having to work and study at the same time. It'll drain too much energy out of me and I feel I will break apart. How I wished I can really venture into another line that doesn't make me feel so tired out like now. (x_x)
Well well well...now that I've rested a bit and able to think clearly, I need music to influence my mood now. Since I've completed my spring cleaning faster than I thought, it's time to do many of those which are as important too.
I need the spark!
Monday, November 28, 2016
Being ready for 2017☆*.+
Reading about this blog post makes me think about my future again. lol.
That blogger did make a good point. It's about appreciating and enjoying how great life is right now, while still yearning for a better future.
But I'm kinda struggling in following exactly how he suggested. As below~:
Ambitious: Being ambitious now to set three goals to achieve what I want in the next three months? [It seemed like completing one in one month but I can't grasp if that time frame is enough for me, cos it's definitely too rushing for me! I wanna take my time at things because I just can't learn that fast anymore (┯_┯)]
Grateful: Three things that I'm grateful every day? That is simple, since I already have a gratitude post. But mainly 3 things everyday would be:
● being in good health
● able to eat what I want
● have my own entertainment - listening to music or watching funny shows to cheer myself up
Which do I lean towards more? Maybe gratitude cos it's easier. lol.
I know previously I struggled with whether to call it resolutions or projects but they meant the same thing to me as they are just things that I've planned to do for the next year [and into the long future] to learn and improve myself. Whatever is it gonna be, I'm gonna call it projects cos it'll sound better that way. Resolutions probably sound a little difficult to take on and they have to last the entire year. Projects are definitely a task to accomplish within a deadline. I don't even know why am I bothering to explain it here. (´-ω-`). But here comes my list and the first three shall be the top three that I wanted to achieve the most!!
1. Release at least 5 lyrics depending on my mood and not in a rush anymore
2. Really set to attain the level of basic Italian and advance Japanese this time
3. Develop a better lifestyle of indoor exercise and doing more walks
4. Have the habit of reading consistently and do my book reviews
5. Learn cooking [on my own] by starting simple
6. Also a little bit of other side entertainment and relaxation like doing my coloring book and perhaps writing short stories
7. Learn a spoken dialect
Omg this list is kind long. And there are unaccomplished ones brought forward from last year:
✿ Complete my Kagrra quotes page
✿ Read and write more Japanese for this blog!
Struggling on whether to push myself harder or not to stress myself so much. Having a deadline is always good since it's been working for me all along. Maybe I'm a little too fast to fret over this now but before I know it, time could just fly before my eyes before I can be ready for it. Next year I'm gonna spend my time with ONLY people who are WORTH of my time. Sadly, there isn't much. So this is also good, which means I have more time for my projects to be accomplished. I really have to be more determined this time. And slowly, I'll be more certain and firm as to who I am.
Let's do our best!!!
That blogger did make a good point. It's about appreciating and enjoying how great life is right now, while still yearning for a better future.
But I'm kinda struggling in following exactly how he suggested. As below~:
Ambitious: Being ambitious now to set three goals to achieve what I want in the next three months? [It seemed like completing one in one month but I can't grasp if that time frame is enough for me, cos it's definitely too rushing for me! I wanna take my time at things because I just can't learn that fast anymore (┯_┯)]
Grateful: Three things that I'm grateful every day? That is simple, since I already have a gratitude post. But mainly 3 things everyday would be:
● being in good health
● able to eat what I want
● have my own entertainment - listening to music or watching funny shows to cheer myself up
Which do I lean towards more? Maybe gratitude cos it's easier. lol.
I know previously I struggled with whether to call it resolutions or projects but they meant the same thing to me as they are just things that I've planned to do for the next year [and into the long future] to learn and improve myself. Whatever is it gonna be, I'm gonna call it projects cos it'll sound better that way. Resolutions probably sound a little difficult to take on and they have to last the entire year. Projects are definitely a task to accomplish within a deadline. I don't even know why am I bothering to explain it here. (´-ω-`). But here comes my list and the first three shall be the top three that I wanted to achieve the most!!
1. Release at least 5 lyrics depending on my mood and not in a rush anymore
2. Really set to attain the level of basic Italian and advance Japanese this time
3. Develop a better lifestyle of indoor exercise and doing more walks
4. Have the habit of reading consistently and do my book reviews
5. Learn cooking [on my own] by starting simple
6. Also a little bit of other side entertainment and relaxation like doing my coloring book and perhaps writing short stories
7. Learn a spoken dialect
Omg this list is kind long. And there are unaccomplished ones brought forward from last year:
✿ Complete my Kagrra quotes page
✿ Read and write more Japanese for this blog!
Struggling on whether to push myself harder or not to stress myself so much. Having a deadline is always good since it's been working for me all along. Maybe I'm a little too fast to fret over this now but before I know it, time could just fly before my eyes before I can be ready for it. Next year I'm gonna spend my time with ONLY people who are WORTH of my time. Sadly, there isn't much. So this is also good, which means I have more time for my projects to be accomplished. I really have to be more determined this time. And slowly, I'll be more certain and firm as to who I am.
Let's do our best!!!
Sunday, November 20, 2016
How to stay motivated ─=≡Σ((( つ•̀ω•́)つ
[got this off from a book on diet plan]＼(・o・)/!
● set realistc targets
● record progress, search for tips and note down any thoughts
● remember the rewards that will come after achieving the goal
● list pros and cons related to it but still will still carry out the plan
If it's about diet, this is not gonna be applicable to me since I've been underweight almost all of my life. lol. My current BMI is at 16.4, which is still considered low. My lowest being at the age of 13, which is at 14+! I can't believe it myself, I was way too skinny that time and I remembered this classmate who made fun of me cos of that. (,_,) But no matter how much I eat I just can't gain any weight since it's very much proven that so long as I have to use my brain a lot, all my energy just goes up to my head and so no fats will be stored in my body. It's not as though I can control this well. Now I'm struggling whether to put on any weight. I just want stronger muscles this time so that I can feel that I'm strong. haha. But girls with visible muscles are kinda unsightly. I don't know, I've not made up my mind what I wanted to be. (^_^;)
As for now, I feel I want to be healthier. It's not as though I had a really bad diet [I hardly take fried food] but because I had too much outside food I feel I need to change it. I'm also getting sick at how people cook and handle the food in such a bad way that I feel I can do better than them!
● have a favourite quote up on the wall or a picture/poster of the person whom you aspire to be to keep reminding you about it.
Honestly, I don't know if putting up a poster will work that well, cos I think I will get used to seeing it until I feel nothing. It'll probably act more like a decoration up the wall more than anything else. Now I don't even have any female posters on my wall. I don't think my eyes will open to look at it. lol. Anyway I've dump them all [which are mostly of the queen] and that doesn't even bother me at all.
But what I've learned this year [in which became my philosophy now] is.... not to waste the item's life.
If I've bought it, make full use of it. If it doesn't suit me, give it to somebody else who would probably need it better than I do. Don't keep it until it expires and to be thrown away. It's really that simple. Take it or leave it. Make the freaking right decision of my purchase. lol.
So seriously, what motivates me now? I think it can come from everywhere. Mainly if I'm very sure of what I wanted to achieve. I don't need to look up to a particular person anymore. I will be sure of myself that what I'm doing is at the best interest for myself and that's how it's gonna be. I can be a better person than I can imagine that I'll be. If anyone can do it, so can I. I will believe that and do better with all the projects I've given to myself. And so, my new year will also be this great. (^_^)
● set realistc targets
● record progress, search for tips and note down any thoughts
● remember the rewards that will come after achieving the goal
● list pros and cons related to it but still will still carry out the plan
If it's about diet, this is not gonna be applicable to me since I've been underweight almost all of my life. lol. My current BMI is at 16.4, which is still considered low. My lowest being at the age of 13, which is at 14+! I can't believe it myself, I was way too skinny that time and I remembered this classmate who made fun of me cos of that. (,_,) But no matter how much I eat I just can't gain any weight since it's very much proven that so long as I have to use my brain a lot, all my energy just goes up to my head and so no fats will be stored in my body. It's not as though I can control this well. Now I'm struggling whether to put on any weight. I just want stronger muscles this time so that I can feel that I'm strong. haha. But girls with visible muscles are kinda unsightly. I don't know, I've not made up my mind what I wanted to be. (^_^;)
As for now, I feel I want to be healthier. It's not as though I had a really bad diet [I hardly take fried food] but because I had too much outside food I feel I need to change it. I'm also getting sick at how people cook and handle the food in such a bad way that I feel I can do better than them!
(╬ ಠ益ಠ) At least having some home-cooked food once a week would probably be better? I don't know how should I go about doing it but I guess I should start from something simple. Somehow it was that garden/caesar salad I ate the other day that sparked the love I have for salads. In the recent years I began to be more willing to pay for salads when I'm out with my friends for food. Some of them just won't wanna eat that probably cos they think it isn't worth? Yeah the ingredients are simple and so easy to make, so why pay for it at that price? But I ended up choosing salads because I don't want a full heavy meal. The fresh raw vegetables will make my stomach feel clean and better. I don't think it's not worth so long as I get satisfied from it. And yeah, for that point → 'why not I just make it myself at home?' I can add whatever ingredients I like! And it doesn't take too much time. It's simple enough to start with. So that's how this began. I'm saying this shall be my new goal in making food at home and that's how my motivation comes. haha.● have a favourite quote up on the wall or a picture/poster of the person whom you aspire to be to keep reminding you about it.
Honestly, I don't know if putting up a poster will work that well, cos I think I will get used to seeing it until I feel nothing. It'll probably act more like a decoration up the wall more than anything else. Now I don't even have any female posters on my wall. I don't think my eyes will open to look at it. lol. Anyway I've dump them all [which are mostly of the queen] and that doesn't even bother me at all.
But what I've learned this year [in which became my philosophy now] is.... not to waste the item's life.
If I've bought it, make full use of it. If it doesn't suit me, give it to somebody else who would probably need it better than I do. Don't keep it until it expires and to be thrown away. It's really that simple. Take it or leave it. Make the freaking right decision of my purchase. lol.
So seriously, what motivates me now? I think it can come from everywhere. Mainly if I'm very sure of what I wanted to achieve. I don't need to look up to a particular person anymore. I will be sure of myself that what I'm doing is at the best interest for myself and that's how it's gonna be. I can be a better person than I can imagine that I'll be. If anyone can do it, so can I. I will believe that and do better with all the projects I've given to myself. And so, my new year will also be this great. (^_^)
Monday, September 05, 2016
I feel pretty and good. ╰(*´︶`*)╯
Heck, just when I was feeling lousy about myself when I wrote on my previous post. lol.
It's already September now. Not exactly that I'm happy with a new month again. I feel I have to set better and more specific targets each time so that it'll keep me more motivated. August has ended and so what have I done?? Argh, it's a pain to recall things each time actually. Well, all that I can remember is that I've really spent a lot the past month and I'm feeling quite guilty of myself. (ó﹏ò｡) Although I do note down all my expenses but it doesn't help to control. I just don't want to force myself not to spend a thing especially when I come across good stuff. It's always that when you're half deciding whether to buy the item or not and then think that the next time you got there you shall grab that item but alas! it's no longer there anymore. What a regret. I won't wanna let it happen to me anymore so I will always get something when I feel like it. Yeah, I'm trying to make up for what I've lost in the past. And this is definitely the right thing to do haha. Just that I have to decide myself whether it's worth it. I don't usually anyhow spend my money anyway so I believe what I'm doing now is good. hehe. What a way to console myself. (≧▽≦)
Well for the past years I have been nagged at by my friends saying how bad I was at dressing up and in monotone colours etc. I guess probably I was really that bad at those times since I don't buy clothes that often and they're usually passed down from my cousin and aunt? Who doesn't want to be pretty! I don't have that money to dress up nicely and I have that mindset back then that it's pointless of me to do so since no one would care about me. I don't have a reason to be pretty. lol. But right now, since I could afford what I want and know better what suits me, I definitely am dressing better now. Not for the sake of others but myself of course. But I guess the point is being confident and comfortable with who I am. I was someone with low self-esteem and low confidence in my teens. I kept feeling how bad I am in everything [it gets worse when your family always pulls you down too -_-] and ended up concealing a lot of myself. Then it gets hard for me to do anything and I don't know what to do about it to change that. Hmm it probably proves that as you age and know better you should definitely start from within. With a better mindset then you can excel in whatever you do. Although I don't agree with some people saying that you should look at your best [pretty] everyday since I think it's quite impossible, because we should always have some days to let ourselves be lazy and let go having to feel conscious about our looks all the time. I don't want to feel that tensed even at home! lol. My philosophy is that we have to feel good about ourselves all the time, no matter what we do.
There being, since I've watched Lavendaire's video and got inspired with all that crap in me. haha.
I won't get pulled down by any mean comments anymore. I don't owe anyone a thing to tolerate that. I live my life my own way without hurting anyone anyway. I'll only have to answer to myself. And so, this is the Yuuka that was born. +.*☆( ˘ω˘ )☆*.+
Finally, this is my quote on what I believe.
I will always be the better version of myself each year.
Fate del vostro meglio!
It's already September now. Not exactly that I'm happy with a new month again. I feel I have to set better and more specific targets each time so that it'll keep me more motivated. August has ended and so what have I done?? Argh, it's a pain to recall things each time actually. Well, all that I can remember is that I've really spent a lot the past month and I'm feeling quite guilty of myself. (ó﹏ò｡) Although I do note down all my expenses but it doesn't help to control. I just don't want to force myself not to spend a thing especially when I come across good stuff. It's always that when you're half deciding whether to buy the item or not and then think that the next time you got there you shall grab that item but alas! it's no longer there anymore. What a regret. I won't wanna let it happen to me anymore so I will always get something when I feel like it. Yeah, I'm trying to make up for what I've lost in the past. And this is definitely the right thing to do haha. Just that I have to decide myself whether it's worth it. I don't usually anyhow spend my money anyway so I believe what I'm doing now is good. hehe. What a way to console myself. (≧▽≦)
Well for the past years I have been nagged at by my friends saying how bad I was at dressing up and in monotone colours etc. I guess probably I was really that bad at those times since I don't buy clothes that often and they're usually passed down from my cousin and aunt? Who doesn't want to be pretty! I don't have that money to dress up nicely and I have that mindset back then that it's pointless of me to do so since no one would care about me. I don't have a reason to be pretty. lol. But right now, since I could afford what I want and know better what suits me, I definitely am dressing better now. Not for the sake of others but myself of course. But I guess the point is being confident and comfortable with who I am. I was someone with low self-esteem and low confidence in my teens. I kept feeling how bad I am in everything [it gets worse when your family always pulls you down too -_-] and ended up concealing a lot of myself. Then it gets hard for me to do anything and I don't know what to do about it to change that. Hmm it probably proves that as you age and know better you should definitely start from within. With a better mindset then you can excel in whatever you do. Although I don't agree with some people saying that you should look at your best [pretty] everyday since I think it's quite impossible, because we should always have some days to let ourselves be lazy and let go having to feel conscious about our looks all the time. I don't want to feel that tensed even at home! lol. My philosophy is that we have to feel good about ourselves all the time, no matter what we do.
There being, since I've watched Lavendaire's video and got inspired with all that crap in me. haha.
I won't get pulled down by any mean comments anymore. I don't owe anyone a thing to tolerate that. I live my life my own way without hurting anyone anyway. I'll only have to answer to myself. And so, this is the Yuuka that was born. +.*☆( ˘ω˘ )☆*.+
Finally, this is my quote on what I believe.
Change is only good when you change for the better.
I will always be the better version of myself each year.
Fate del vostro meglio!
Sunday, September 04, 2016
As I feel so untalented and like a failure... =(
You know this feeling comes when you're just left nothing to do at home and all alone... lol.
Well today I was also feeling like a failure when I was not needed to help out with the cooking for lunch today. It's not that I don't wanna learn cooking you see, my mum doesn't teach me! She'll just pick me at how bad I'm doing and then she'll end up doing everything by herself. How am I supposed to get to learn a thing? No one has the patience. I lived with my grandma as a kid and she doesn't teach me a thing either! >_< I want to pick up this skill in cooking and I believe it's something that has to be taught personally cos recipe books are just not dependable. It's an activity that has to be carried out often and way too flexible for you to adjust the ingredients as you like. [Eg. if you don't like a certain food or you can't find the ingredient, or to make sure the ingredient you get doesn't clash with the other etc] I don't know if anyone will agree with what I think about this but yeah, I do think it's not something as easy for you to be good at like reading and writing, you need someone to test the flavour and tell you how you can improve. And every person I came across who's really good at cooking have someone to guide them all along. How lucky. ( ´∵｀)
Alright, that's fine. Although I'm really feeling down thinking about this. Probably when time comes I'll find a way to get myself being good at this skill someday, for the sake of the those that I love? Maybe I should start by watching more cooking videos to get pumped up. In fact I like to watch them as a kid but I didn't get to do the cooking myself. lol. Well that's just me to enjoy watching people doing things. I like to observe too much! haha.
Anyway, since I was kinda sick with a mild flu, so I spent my time mainly at home and sleep cos I needed rest. This week passed by way to fast for me to realise which means I was also really overwhelmed with the amount of work. （・□・；）There's so many data for me to key into the system damn I felt so aching from all the typing. Work is really endless and draining as time goes by. I found myself to be less motivated this week. It made me yearn for more and longer holidays. I feel I need to be away from everything at least once... If I really could. (,_,)
And because I'm here trying to entertain myself, look what YouTube recommended me.
This girl is way too good at playing that Guzheng! Omg I loved how beautiful that instrument sound as a kid but I've never got the chance to play it, not even learn it though. What a sad life I have. lol. It was only in later in my teens I got the chance to be part of the orchestra and learned a chinese instrument finally. But not that I can play it that great. Yeah I watched videos of how they perform and I feel so lousy about myself once again. (-_-)
Well the thing I wanted to say actually is that this music seemed so familiar when I first heard it! Then I realised, oh it's Wagakki band's song that I must have heard it long ago. They're quite a cool band and I've watched them performed live before but just too bad I have no feels for them. Although they are of the same genre as my favorite Kagrra, but I won't like a band just for the same genre cos afterall the music they make aren't as good as my Kagrra,. SIMPLY STILL NO ONE CAN BE OF MATCH WITH MY KAGRRA, and they just can't impressed me that well. They just can't!! And I can't explain why I dislike that main female vocalist. I don't like her voice and I find the band too noisy with too many instruments in the music. It's flooding with too many things my ears can't absorb. lol. They're awesome nonetheless since there's hardly a mixed group around. But sadly, I just can't like them.
I'm not being overly bias over Kagrra, okay. Although they are definitely the best in my heart but I do listen to other bands of other genres and exploring to see which are those that are of my type too. I'm also learning to appreciate different sort of rock and it's really not that I dislike listening to female voices although I've been listening to a lot of male voices all along. xD I just discovered 妖精帝國 Yousei Teikoku and I feel so comfortable to listen to the female vocalist's voice!! Yeah it's because of anime I can come across awesome rock songs. (^o^) They're a mixed band too, and they're of gothic metal which is makes this even more cool. lol. There I realised and know better that there have to be many factors for me to like a certain band. Most importantly it lies with the first song that I've heard from them. The specific genre is not really the point so long as they are doing rock. And the vocalist voice must be one that I feel comfortable listening to. Especially when it's filled with deep feelings. That's how I like Buck-Tick as you can see...
So yeah, I'm into this song lately and it's additive. lol. I can't believe for a mo that they've been around since 1997? But I've never heard of them only until now. I may be trying to discover more about them since this is quite refreshing. xD I hope this is another inspiration for me cos it'll be the best if it turns out that way. (^_^;)
Ooh and to be back to the topic on feeling so untalented, another thing that pops out at my YouTube feed recommending me to watch:
Just look at how cool those boys are!! lol.
I know I shouldn't feel so bad about myself. They are artistes afterall and so they got all the practice. It's their job anyway right? But it will also be good if I can ever do something like that like being part of a group and dance for the fun of it and got it film just like them? Yeah I'm dreaming. Being as good as them is no joke. The amount of time and effort for all that. If I'm doing that for leisure, I'm not even sure if I can be serious enough for the practice. haha!
But seeing the whole coorodination of them dancing and on beat is really such a pleasant thing to watch. Why guys can look so cool and their dance is freaking awesome! I'm not interested in girls' since it's always like twisting the body and acting sexy most of the time. lol. It always seems to me that guys' dance have a real level of difficulty that's much nicer to watch. And here I am wondering how nice would it be if I'm a guy because you bet, I'll be even more daring to do all sorts of things than I am now.
Yeah, just why am I not born as a guy? >_<
Okay, enough of my foolishness, and feeling how much of a failure I am. I should go do something right now and prove my usefulness.
AND THAT IS TO EAT!
Well today I was also feeling like a failure when I was not needed to help out with the cooking for lunch today. It's not that I don't wanna learn cooking you see, my mum doesn't teach me! She'll just pick me at how bad I'm doing and then she'll end up doing everything by herself. How am I supposed to get to learn a thing? No one has the patience. I lived with my grandma as a kid and she doesn't teach me a thing either! >_< I want to pick up this skill in cooking and I believe it's something that has to be taught personally cos recipe books are just not dependable. It's an activity that has to be carried out often and way too flexible for you to adjust the ingredients as you like. [Eg. if you don't like a certain food or you can't find the ingredient, or to make sure the ingredient you get doesn't clash with the other etc] I don't know if anyone will agree with what I think about this but yeah, I do think it's not something as easy for you to be good at like reading and writing, you need someone to test the flavour and tell you how you can improve. And every person I came across who's really good at cooking have someone to guide them all along. How lucky. ( ´∵｀)
Alright, that's fine. Although I'm really feeling down thinking about this. Probably when time comes I'll find a way to get myself being good at this skill someday, for the sake of the those that I love? Maybe I should start by watching more cooking videos to get pumped up. In fact I like to watch them as a kid but I didn't get to do the cooking myself. lol. Well that's just me to enjoy watching people doing things. I like to observe too much! haha.
Anyway, since I was kinda sick with a mild flu, so I spent my time mainly at home and sleep cos I needed rest. This week passed by way to fast for me to realise which means I was also really overwhelmed with the amount of work. （・□・；）There's so many data for me to key into the system damn I felt so aching from all the typing. Work is really endless and draining as time goes by. I found myself to be less motivated this week. It made me yearn for more and longer holidays. I feel I need to be away from everything at least once... If I really could. (,_,)
And because I'm here trying to entertain myself, look what YouTube recommended me.
This girl is way too good at playing that Guzheng! Omg I loved how beautiful that instrument sound as a kid but I've never got the chance to play it, not even learn it though. What a sad life I have. lol. It was only in later in my teens I got the chance to be part of the orchestra and learned a chinese instrument finally. But not that I can play it that great. Yeah I watched videos of how they perform and I feel so lousy about myself once again. (-_-)
Well the thing I wanted to say actually is that this music seemed so familiar when I first heard it! Then I realised, oh it's Wagakki band's song that I must have heard it long ago. They're quite a cool band and I've watched them performed live before but just too bad I have no feels for them. Although they are of the same genre as my favorite Kagrra, but I won't like a band just for the same genre cos afterall the music they make aren't as good as my Kagrra,. SIMPLY STILL NO ONE CAN BE OF MATCH WITH MY KAGRRA, and they just can't impressed me that well. They just can't!! And I can't explain why I dislike that main female vocalist. I don't like her voice and I find the band too noisy with too many instruments in the music. It's flooding with too many things my ears can't absorb. lol. They're awesome nonetheless since there's hardly a mixed group around. But sadly, I just can't like them.
I'm not being overly bias over Kagrra, okay. Although they are definitely the best in my heart but I do listen to other bands of other genres and exploring to see which are those that are of my type too. I'm also learning to appreciate different sort of rock and it's really not that I dislike listening to female voices although I've been listening to a lot of male voices all along. xD I just discovered 妖精帝國 Yousei Teikoku and I feel so comfortable to listen to the female vocalist's voice!! Yeah it's because of anime I can come across awesome rock songs. (^o^) They're a mixed band too, and they're of gothic metal which is makes this even more cool. lol. There I realised and know better that there have to be many factors for me to like a certain band. Most importantly it lies with the first song that I've heard from them. The specific genre is not really the point so long as they are doing rock. And the vocalist voice must be one that I feel comfortable listening to. Especially when it's filled with deep feelings. That's how I like Buck-Tick as you can see...
So yeah, I'm into this song lately and it's additive. lol. I can't believe for a mo that they've been around since 1997? But I've never heard of them only until now. I may be trying to discover more about them since this is quite refreshing. xD I hope this is another inspiration for me cos it'll be the best if it turns out that way. (^_^;)
Ooh and to be back to the topic on feeling so untalented, another thing that pops out at my YouTube feed recommending me to watch:
Just look at how cool those boys are!! lol.
I know I shouldn't feel so bad about myself. They are artistes afterall and so they got all the practice. It's their job anyway right? But it will also be good if I can ever do something like that like being part of a group and dance for the fun of it and got it film just like them? Yeah I'm dreaming. Being as good as them is no joke. The amount of time and effort for all that. If I'm doing that for leisure, I'm not even sure if I can be serious enough for the practice. haha!
But seeing the whole coorodination of them dancing and on beat is really such a pleasant thing to watch. Why guys can look so cool and their dance is freaking awesome! I'm not interested in girls' since it's always like twisting the body and acting sexy most of the time. lol. It always seems to me that guys' dance have a real level of difficulty that's much nicer to watch. And here I am wondering how nice would it be if I'm a guy because you bet, I'll be even more daring to do all sorts of things than I am now.
Yeah, just why am I not born as a guy? >_<
Okay, enough of my foolishness, and feeling how much of a failure I am. I should go do something right now and prove my usefulness.
AND THAT IS TO EAT!
Monday, June 13, 2016
My Gratitude list
June has came so quickly somehow I feel that I have no chance to take things slow and breathe! There are times earlier on before this month that made me feel horrible about my life, getting sick of things around me, lacking in motivation and feeling down for no reason... I really don't understand why am I here, what purpose do I serve having to do tons of stuffs, having all sorts of things weighing on me. Why should I be here to fulfill the obligations for others but not myself? What is life exactly about? I can't helped but to have such questions sometimes. Although I don't have all the answers yet, but I do think there is a need to make myself feel better while searching for them.
So here I am gonna list down things that I am grateful for so as to remind myself to be happy and that I shouldn't be feeling bad and complain so much. But complaining do make me feel better sometimes lol. If I were to keep everything in my heart I'm sure I would have long exploded. Writing is my escape so I feel better when I get to say things out of my heart. Oh wells, I'll also try to say more positive stuffs when I can~ (^_^;)
Things that I am grateful for:
✦ being in good health, that I can breathe properly
✦ have the money to buy little things I want after a day's work as a reward
✦ have friends whom I can depend on and talk with a lot
✦ free to believe in what I want
✦ I could rest and plan my weekends
✦ mistakes that made me learn *cringe*
✦ living in a home, even without much privacy
✦ books that taught me so much
✦ kindness from strangers who helped me when I need
✦ Tears that made me know what sadness is, and that's how I learn how to treasure things
✦ Aging (whether with wrinkles), I feel a year wiser
✦ able to see and appreciate what's before me, the beauty of this world
✦ Food readily on my table
✦ having a job although I don't like it. My eyesight is getting worse now (I can feel it) but I'm exposed to people and still learning
✦ listen to my favourite rock music that enhance my mood
✦ blanket and jackets that always keep me warm
✦ the existence of isshi-sama whom gave me the strength and encourage me to dream♥
Although Isshi is my regret for not cherishing Kagrra more often back then, he is something that I'm thankful for to get back myself again.
Thank you my Isshi-sama. Thank you for everything. I'm grateful that I came across you and be myself. And thank you everything on this Earth for having me even though I did so little. Thank you for showing me what life is.
♥(✿ฺ´∀`✿ฺ)ﾉ ✿ฺ･:*:･どうも有り難うございます。･:*:･✿ฺ~
So here I am gonna list down things that I am grateful for so as to remind myself to be happy and that I shouldn't be feeling bad and complain so much. But complaining do make me feel better sometimes lol. If I were to keep everything in my heart I'm sure I would have long exploded. Writing is my escape so I feel better when I get to say things out of my heart. Oh wells, I'll also try to say more positive stuffs when I can~ (^_^;)
Things that I am grateful for:
✦ being in good health, that I can breathe properly
✦ have the money to buy little things I want after a day's work as a reward
✦ have friends whom I can depend on and talk with a lot
✦ free to believe in what I want
✦ I could rest and plan my weekends
✦ mistakes that made me learn *cringe*
✦ living in a home, even without much privacy
✦ books that taught me so much
✦ kindness from strangers who helped me when I need
✦ Tears that made me know what sadness is, and that's how I learn how to treasure things
✦ Aging (whether with wrinkles), I feel a year wiser
✦ able to see and appreciate what's before me, the beauty of this world
✦ Food readily on my table
✦ having a job although I don't like it. My eyesight is getting worse now (I can feel it) but I'm exposed to people and still learning
✦ listen to my favourite rock music that enhance my mood
✦ blanket and jackets that always keep me warm
✦ the existence of isshi-sama whom gave me the strength and encourage me to dream♥
Although Isshi is my regret for not cherishing Kagrra more often back then, he is something that I'm thankful for to get back myself again.
Thank you my Isshi-sama. Thank you for everything. I'm grateful that I came across you and be myself. And thank you everything on this Earth for having me even though I did so little. Thank you for showing me what life is.
♥(✿ฺ´∀`✿ฺ)ﾉ ✿ฺ･:*:･どうも有り難うございます。･:*:･✿ฺ~
Sunday, May 29, 2016
Get organised and tidy!
I remembered reading cheesie's post on her KonMari wardrobe makeover last month but I wasn't into it until a friend told me how this helped her with tidying her clothes. It seemed good since my friend recommended to me while I recalled cheesie's post on how neat her closet is so I thought I should give this a try too! And that was when I chanced upon Lavendaire's video~
I love the question "Does this spark joy?" when I hold the item and decide whether to keep or discard it. I guess it's very much a straightforward question that I'm asking myself cos I will think whether I'll look back at this item again, whether I'll use it, and how much it mattered to me [the value of it]. It also made me able to decide better on not just whether to keep them or not, but also whether is it worth for the items to be in my hands. I have to learn to get the items into good use if not it'll be a waste of its life. If I don't need it anymore, it's better to let them go...╰(*´︶`*)╯
Doing by category is really such a right way!! It makes me focused on just one thing at a time. I started with clothes and folded them the way that she taught and it was great!! It really free up so much space and it's so much easier to decide which to wear when it's all in a glance! And then I did the papers, Mementos and the last I'll probably do my books cos there's quite a lot for me to go through later. I've learned to let go of things [especially of Ayu] so the part on Mementos wasn't that hard for me. Yeah right, I've made the decision to give away all my Ayu collection! How cool is that. I can't believe for a moment but I feel I've very much grown up already. I don't feel a thing and not sad or whatsoever. Since the love for her diminished over the years and it's not a rash decision that I made. So I won't regret. I'm very sure of what I'm doing now. haha. (^o^)
What else I have been doing is to designate a place for the things and let it be their 'home'. This allows me to find them easily and I will know if anyone has touched my things lol.
I've also bought a new bookshelf which even made my room space seemed bigger. lol. That's also a lot about the things you get that has the visual effect! I love this new shelf that made me able to put more books before me! I'm still on my way to clear the papers and arrange them on the shelf so it's still not ready yet. haha.
Alrights, let me show some pictures now:
I have these 2 notepads for more than 15 years!! Haha I'm so capable of keeping things in such a good condition. xD But then the papers turned yellow and old and I wasn't into those anymore. I remembered getting that Hello Kitty notepad for myself as a present and it costs 6 bucks back then. Since I was a kid, I don't really have any idea of how expensive an item is so I didn't think it was bad to buy it. Yeah I must be crazy. I bought but I can't bear to use it at all. Luckily I wasn't the type to spend money for no reason. I pretty much have self control so I don't have a lot of such items lol. The one on the right was a gift from teacher for having good grades in class. That I can't bear to use it at all too. (≧▽≦)
Oops this was a mistake. A friend was telling me how this allows her to destress and she can made this in 2 or 3 hours, so she recommended me to do this too from Daiso. I kept this for years already and still not having the mood to do so at all! How does this sew kit helps me to destress? When I still have to follow the instructions and doing it right. Nooooo this isn't my kind. Compared to this, I'll rather do my coloring which is way easier than having to think. So... there you go, discard!!
This mini drawer is something I've discovered from opening up one of my monthly manga freebies years ago! lol. Initially I thought it was just an ordinary box until I realised there's a hole which seemed to be....a drawer! I didn't know! haha. I haven't put anything in it yet but I still hope it'll be of good use!
Ah, the memories. I was looking at one box of my old collection and recalled I must have posted this before. And indeed. Those 2 necklaces that I've made long ago as a student. I was so into this 'jewellery-making' class back then when we have some sort of special programme that we have to fulfill some points in doing some activities. I actually like such craft works but initially I was the only one in my class who attended this. I was wondering back then why no one wanted to join me, despite me asking my friends. It was only after some time a few of them came along because they couldn't find any other activities class to go to, so in the end I wasn't going there alone. haha. One thing I minded was a ring that I did which probably looks really good but the teacher took it away from me and said that it'll be good for them to use as a sample display. And so I can't get to keep it!! It was something that I'll never forget since I couldn't have a complete set of my own craft collection. (,_,)
Oh wells, I'm still on my way in clearing more stuffs and explore about minimalism. Life is about having a clear mind and be happy. Don't let things tie you down isn't it?
Sometimes, it's easier said than done. (-_-)
but I'm almost there... so life will be good. ^_^
I love the question "Does this spark joy?" when I hold the item and decide whether to keep or discard it. I guess it's very much a straightforward question that I'm asking myself cos I will think whether I'll look back at this item again, whether I'll use it, and how much it mattered to me [the value of it]. It also made me able to decide better on not just whether to keep them or not, but also whether is it worth for the items to be in my hands. I have to learn to get the items into good use if not it'll be a waste of its life. If I don't need it anymore, it's better to let them go...╰(*´︶`*)╯
Doing by category is really such a right way!! It makes me focused on just one thing at a time. I started with clothes and folded them the way that she taught and it was great!! It really free up so much space and it's so much easier to decide which to wear when it's all in a glance! And then I did the papers, Mementos and the last I'll probably do my books cos there's quite a lot for me to go through later. I've learned to let go of things [especially of Ayu] so the part on Mementos wasn't that hard for me. Yeah right, I've made the decision to give away all my Ayu collection! How cool is that. I can't believe for a moment but I feel I've very much grown up already. I don't feel a thing and not sad or whatsoever. Since the love for her diminished over the years and it's not a rash decision that I made. So I won't regret. I'm very sure of what I'm doing now. haha. (^o^)
What else I have been doing is to designate a place for the things and let it be their 'home'. This allows me to find them easily and I will know if anyone has touched my things lol.
I've also bought a new bookshelf which even made my room space seemed bigger. lol. That's also a lot about the things you get that has the visual effect! I love this new shelf that made me able to put more books before me! I'm still on my way to clear the papers and arrange them on the shelf so it's still not ready yet. haha.
Alrights, let me show some pictures now:
I have these 2 notepads for more than 15 years!! Haha I'm so capable of keeping things in such a good condition. xD But then the papers turned yellow and old and I wasn't into those anymore. I remembered getting that Hello Kitty notepad for myself as a present and it costs 6 bucks back then. Since I was a kid, I don't really have any idea of how expensive an item is so I didn't think it was bad to buy it. Yeah I must be crazy. I bought but I can't bear to use it at all. Luckily I wasn't the type to spend money for no reason. I pretty much have self control so I don't have a lot of such items lol. The one on the right was a gift from teacher for having good grades in class. That I can't bear to use it at all too. (≧▽≦)
Oops this was a mistake. A friend was telling me how this allows her to destress and she can made this in 2 or 3 hours, so she recommended me to do this too from Daiso. I kept this for years already and still not having the mood to do so at all! How does this sew kit helps me to destress? When I still have to follow the instructions and doing it right. Nooooo this isn't my kind. Compared to this, I'll rather do my coloring which is way easier than having to think. So... there you go, discard!!
This mini drawer is something I've discovered from opening up one of my monthly manga freebies years ago! lol. Initially I thought it was just an ordinary box until I realised there's a hole which seemed to be....a drawer! I didn't know! haha. I haven't put anything in it yet but I still hope it'll be of good use!
Ah, the memories. I was looking at one box of my old collection and recalled I must have posted this before. And indeed. Those 2 necklaces that I've made long ago as a student. I was so into this 'jewellery-making' class back then when we have some sort of special programme that we have to fulfill some points in doing some activities. I actually like such craft works but initially I was the only one in my class who attended this. I was wondering back then why no one wanted to join me, despite me asking my friends. It was only after some time a few of them came along because they couldn't find any other activities class to go to, so in the end I wasn't going there alone. haha. One thing I minded was a ring that I did which probably looks really good but the teacher took it away from me and said that it'll be good for them to use as a sample display. And so I can't get to keep it!! It was something that I'll never forget since I couldn't have a complete set of my own craft collection. (,_,)
Oh wells, I'm still on my way in clearing more stuffs and explore about minimalism. Life is about having a clear mind and be happy. Don't let things tie you down isn't it?
Sometimes, it's easier said than done. (-_-)
but I'm almost there... so life will be good. ^_^
Saturday, April 30, 2016
The Best of me♡
This is gonna be a long personal post of myself. I did a mini test at my real FB to see what Wikipedia would say about me. [although I replace my face with Namie's lol]
I'm glad this result shows how beautiful I truly am as a person. So my smile is sooo beautiful indeed. ╰(*´︶`*)╯
And upon reading this, I was so satisfied with the result cos it was so true! I don't over-dressed and focus a lot with how I look on the outside, although sometimes I can be lazy in dressing up. But I believe simple and presentable on an everyday basis should be enough. And I do dressed up nicely on special days. lol.
Well I believe it's the inside of me that is more important as a person, such as being caring, loving, etc... and I do place an importance in building friendships but indeed there's a number of them that left me disappointed with what they actually are. I'm really doubting how these people define friends as...is that the way how they treat their friends really?
On to talking about this group of people whom I've left, none of them came to talk to me anymore. For whatever reason that they think that maybe I wanna be left alone or anything, it's really disappointing that we were once close enough to go out together, chatted so much and had so much fun but there is no word of concern at all. Couldn't you even say a hello? Why from the start I'm always the one who have to be initiative? Why must it always be me? Friendships go both ways isn't it? It's been too one-sided of me all along and the end result of it is that I'm the one getting hurt. Just why do I have to come across people who are so superficial and even considered them as friends. I even hate myself for that and giving them the attention they wanted. You see, there's one who asked me to doll up myself prettier and do cosplay like her so that I can attract more guys. Another one even asked me to get push-up bras cos guys like it.
WHAT? Why do I have to do all this on purpose? Just so as to attract guys who like me based on the outside and not my true self? No way!! I don't wanna attract the wrong kind of people for goodness sake. And being the best of myself doesn't mean I have to focus with how I look externally, or how others see me as. I simply can't agree with what they suggested to me when I first heard it. But of course, out of politeness, I didn't say much but just "Oh really?"(-_-) Of course I don't see that I should totally neglect or ignore my appearance but appearance shouldn't be something that defines who I am. Why should I try so hard to impress for the wrong reasons? I can feel good by looking good but I can look good by feeling good too!! Isn't a woman's smile more beautiful than her makeup/external appearance? It's more genuine and attractive than someone who is faking out on the outside. And even though I wanted to do cosplay since I was 18 because it was something special to do, [but I didn't back then cos I didn't have the money for everything] but I have given up this thought some time ago already. Firstly 2D characters themselves look good as they are, but when being shown in real life in 3D as what we see from cosplayers, I can't helped but to see them as fake. It really feels a lot weird to see a real being in bright yellow hair? And some outrageous outfit that doesn't fit? Just why should we try so hard to be somebody else that we are not! It can be fun to do for once, but not consistently. It made me feel people who does so is because they have insecurities that they don't wanna show who they really are. They rather be 'somebody else'. [I have a friend who does cosplay because she feels in anime the world is perfect unlike this real world, so cosplaying is her escape to reality, sadly.] But I am the original me!! Why should I go for something that I won't feel truly happy to be. Why should I mask myself as somebody sexy or whatever that I am not?
I have felt ashamed enough of myself having to give them the attention that they wanted, that they must be feeling so highly of themselves now. Well it's the truth cos in the chat they'll all always talk about themselves and vying for attention like all the time. I actually got sick of seeing it although it's fun to see them cracking jokes but I don't think it's healthy in any way. Everyone has been together too much on the surface and nothing deepens. I'm pretty sure this group has been used by everyone of them for their own purpose, like to promote their products etc... It's not the first time I've seen them doing so to their advantage. It really saddens me to see this. But I should have guessed that isn't it? (,_,) They're a bunch of pathetic people whom have that kind of attitude, otherwise this group would have been existed long ago without needing me to start in the first place. I should have known, isn't it? (T_T)
And with reference to this book that I'm reading...
Friendships based on shared activities and historical ties are wonderful to have, but unless they are 'deepened', they are not enough.
I agree with this a lot. Otherwise, what's the point of being together when they can't be the ones you can turn to if you are facing any problems? They'll probably shun away from you or give the wrong kind of advice!
There's so much about this book that made me understood more and able to truly appreciate the real me of being who I am. I don't think I'm doing a book review now but this self-help book is indeed worth mentioning about building relationships and connecting with people. One of which the author gives the great question of "What makes me feel great of myself? What doesn't?" as a measure of self-worth. This is really amazing. Only you can create the experience of self-worth for yourself. This is something that I'm gonna work on, and not let others define and lead me to what I am not.
Some of which I wanna mention:
The essence of who we are is wonderful.
In life, we must strive for a balance between solitude and involvement.
As theologian Nouwen so beautifully says, "It is in solitude that we discover that being is more important than having, and that we are worth more than the result of our efforts.
We are not misfits or losers. We are incurably and wonderfully human.
Your worth depends on what you think of you.
No matter how anyone speaks to me, I am a worthwhile person. My approval depends on no one else.
Deemphasize the importance of looks. I think we are our own enemies when we are focused on the externals. I think we have to tell our friends they look great the way they are, and they are great the way they are, regardless of their looks. ← Sadly, I wasn't being told of this by those people.
And on to the very last phrase that is very encouraging:
I love how I'm feeling great about myself and embracing that. I have never feel like this before, gaining so much from a book. So I do have the power and shouldn't belittle myself. I can create what's the best of me. And be away from superficial and negative people. I can create my own world of Heaven. (*⌒0⌒)♪
Three things that I'm gonna focus on now: Self-love. Self-respect. Self-worth.
I'm glad this result shows how beautiful I truly am as a person. So my smile is sooo beautiful indeed. ╰(*´︶`*)╯
And upon reading this, I was so satisfied with the result cos it was so true! I don't over-dressed and focus a lot with how I look on the outside, although sometimes I can be lazy in dressing up. But I believe simple and presentable on an everyday basis should be enough. And I do dressed up nicely on special days. lol.
Well I believe it's the inside of me that is more important as a person, such as being caring, loving, etc... and I do place an importance in building friendships but indeed there's a number of them that left me disappointed with what they actually are. I'm really doubting how these people define friends as...is that the way how they treat their friends really?
On to talking about this group of people whom I've left, none of them came to talk to me anymore. For whatever reason that they think that maybe I wanna be left alone or anything, it's really disappointing that we were once close enough to go out together, chatted so much and had so much fun but there is no word of concern at all. Couldn't you even say a hello? Why from the start I'm always the one who have to be initiative? Why must it always be me? Friendships go both ways isn't it? It's been too one-sided of me all along and the end result of it is that I'm the one getting hurt. Just why do I have to come across people who are so superficial and even considered them as friends. I even hate myself for that and giving them the attention they wanted. You see, there's one who asked me to doll up myself prettier and do cosplay like her so that I can attract more guys. Another one even asked me to get push-up bras cos guys like it.
WHAT? Why do I have to do all this on purpose? Just so as to attract guys who like me based on the outside and not my true self? No way!! I don't wanna attract the wrong kind of people for goodness sake. And being the best of myself doesn't mean I have to focus with how I look externally, or how others see me as. I simply can't agree with what they suggested to me when I first heard it. But of course, out of politeness, I didn't say much but just "Oh really?"(-_-) Of course I don't see that I should totally neglect or ignore my appearance but appearance shouldn't be something that defines who I am. Why should I try so hard to impress for the wrong reasons? I can feel good by looking good but I can look good by feeling good too!! Isn't a woman's smile more beautiful than her makeup/external appearance? It's more genuine and attractive than someone who is faking out on the outside. And even though I wanted to do cosplay since I was 18 because it was something special to do, [but I didn't back then cos I didn't have the money for everything] but I have given up this thought some time ago already. Firstly 2D characters themselves look good as they are, but when being shown in real life in 3D as what we see from cosplayers, I can't helped but to see them as fake. It really feels a lot weird to see a real being in bright yellow hair? And some outrageous outfit that doesn't fit? Just why should we try so hard to be somebody else that we are not! It can be fun to do for once, but not consistently. It made me feel people who does so is because they have insecurities that they don't wanna show who they really are. They rather be 'somebody else'. [I have a friend who does cosplay because she feels in anime the world is perfect unlike this real world, so cosplaying is her escape to reality, sadly.] But I am the original me!! Why should I go for something that I won't feel truly happy to be. Why should I mask myself as somebody sexy or whatever that I am not?
I have felt ashamed enough of myself having to give them the attention that they wanted, that they must be feeling so highly of themselves now. Well it's the truth cos in the chat they'll all always talk about themselves and vying for attention like all the time. I actually got sick of seeing it although it's fun to see them cracking jokes but I don't think it's healthy in any way. Everyone has been together too much on the surface and nothing deepens. I'm pretty sure this group has been used by everyone of them for their own purpose, like to promote their products etc... It's not the first time I've seen them doing so to their advantage. It really saddens me to see this. But I should have guessed that isn't it? (,_,) They're a bunch of pathetic people whom have that kind of attitude, otherwise this group would have been existed long ago without needing me to start in the first place. I should have known, isn't it? (T_T)
And with reference to this book that I'm reading...
Friendships based on shared activities and historical ties are wonderful to have, but unless they are 'deepened', they are not enough.
I agree with this a lot. Otherwise, what's the point of being together when they can't be the ones you can turn to if you are facing any problems? They'll probably shun away from you or give the wrong kind of advice!
There's so much about this book that made me understood more and able to truly appreciate the real me of being who I am. I don't think I'm doing a book review now but this self-help book is indeed worth mentioning about building relationships and connecting with people. One of which the author gives the great question of "What makes me feel great of myself? What doesn't?" as a measure of self-worth. This is really amazing. Only you can create the experience of self-worth for yourself. This is something that I'm gonna work on, and not let others define and lead me to what I am not.
Some of which I wanna mention:
The essence of who we are is wonderful.
In life, we must strive for a balance between solitude and involvement.
As theologian Nouwen so beautifully says, "It is in solitude that we discover that being is more important than having, and that we are worth more than the result of our efforts.
We are not misfits or losers. We are incurably and wonderfully human.
Your worth depends on what you think of you.
No matter how anyone speaks to me, I am a worthwhile person. My approval depends on no one else.
Deemphasize the importance of looks. I think we are our own enemies when we are focused on the externals. I think we have to tell our friends they look great the way they are, and they are great the way they are, regardless of their looks. ← Sadly, I wasn't being told of this by those people.
And on to the very last phrase that is very encouraging:
"Who I am is someone who has the power within to create a Heaven on earth for myself and to radiate a piece of that Heaven out to everyone whose life touches mine."
I love how I'm feeling great about myself and embracing that. I have never feel like this before, gaining so much from a book. So I do have the power and shouldn't belittle myself. I can create what's the best of me. And be away from superficial and negative people. I can create my own world of Heaven. (*⌒0⌒)♪
Three things that I'm gonna focus on now: Self-love. Self-respect. Self-worth.
Monday, April 25, 2016
Things I've learned as an adult
I love watching videos like this that inspires and made me think through...
Let me note some of those that I agree with Weylie:
● Time will heal any heartbreak.
● If you don't know how to cook, it doesn't mean you will never know how to cook.
● If you don't click with someone, you just don't click with someone.
● Getting denied from college doesn't mean that you're stupid or that you will not have a good future.
● Embrace who I am.
● Love yourself first before you try to love someone else. Don't rely on others for you to feel beautiful.
● Keep an open mind. There's always someone better than you.
I didn't think that I have to look at someone younger than me for things like this, but I guess it doesn't matter to me anymore. It's not as though we have a huge age gap and most importantly I think is to be able to gain something from someone as motivating as her. I've thought of a few of those that I've learned upon watching this video. I hope I sounded right in my own way too. (・・;)
● Don't be too truthful. You have to reserve some to yourself.
● Don't trust too easily. You'll end up hurting yourself.
● Don't force yourself to fit into a group where you don't feel like you're one of them. You don't have to be. You can also be happy on your own.
● Don't take anyone's words seriously. Most of the time they are saying out of politeness. Most people make it an obligation to say nice words to others but they don't mean it at all.
● You don't need to care about what others think of you in which you can't control. It's too exhausting to mind about that and you can't change them easily. Humans just like to judge no matter what.
Alright, I have too much of "Don't" in the list but that's what I've come across to stop myself from doing all that I shouldn't have. And so, I could sum as such....
Conclusion: Be true to yourself. Stay as the way you are comfortable with. You don't owe anyone anything to constantly accommodate to others. You don't have to force yourself to keep up with everything. There's no rule that you have to be like everyone else. Most important is to live the life you are happy with the way you are.
That's very much of me as an adult now, only that I've matured kinda late. (-_-)
Let me note some of those that I agree with Weylie:
● Time will heal any heartbreak.
● If you don't know how to cook, it doesn't mean you will never know how to cook.
● If you don't click with someone, you just don't click with someone.
● Getting denied from college doesn't mean that you're stupid or that you will not have a good future.
● Embrace who I am.
● Love yourself first before you try to love someone else. Don't rely on others for you to feel beautiful.
● Keep an open mind. There's always someone better than you.
I didn't think that I have to look at someone younger than me for things like this, but I guess it doesn't matter to me anymore. It's not as though we have a huge age gap and most importantly I think is to be able to gain something from someone as motivating as her. I've thought of a few of those that I've learned upon watching this video. I hope I sounded right in my own way too. (・・;)
● Don't be too truthful. You have to reserve some to yourself.
● Don't trust too easily. You'll end up hurting yourself.
● Don't force yourself to fit into a group where you don't feel like you're one of them. You don't have to be. You can also be happy on your own.
● Don't take anyone's words seriously. Most of the time they are saying out of politeness. Most people make it an obligation to say nice words to others but they don't mean it at all.
● You don't need to care about what others think of you in which you can't control. It's too exhausting to mind about that and you can't change them easily. Humans just like to judge no matter what.
Alright, I have too much of "Don't" in the list but that's what I've come across to stop myself from doing all that I shouldn't have. And so, I could sum as such....
Conclusion: Be true to yourself. Stay as the way you are comfortable with. You don't owe anyone anything to constantly accommodate to others. You don't have to force yourself to keep up with everything. There's no rule that you have to be like everyone else. Most important is to live the life you are happy with the way you are.
That's very much of me as an adult now, only that I've matured kinda late. (-_-)
Sunday, January 24, 2016
My New Chapter too..
I haven't been talking about Michelle Phan in a while. Her recent video made me so relaxed and inspired once again. I love how when I'm feeling kinda troubled and her video seems to appear at the right time, making me feel better after that. (^_^)
Get in touch with your own beauty and flaws. It's the combination of the two that makes us all unique.
She's definitely the best inspirational artiste that I have come across, constantly giving her all and inspiring people from time to time. I feel that I can keep learning from her even until now, instead of the Jpop queen who used to inspire me. Well then, things change and human change too. But I always believe in changing for the better. I shall talk about this some other time then, since I still need time to get things sorted out. （・□・；）
What's even more wonderful than getting reply from your favourite artiste? I love when this happens and I will definitely capture such a moment. It's nice cos this made me feel closer to her than the queen. Oops, I mentioning it again. (>_<)
Anyway, I wasn't into the makeup look lowkey baddie where Mish replied me in. Probably cos I dislike that sort of colour on the lip and nails so the whole look seems plain to me. But I really like her braided hair! I would love to do my hair like this someday and hope it suits me. I don't have enough hair and so it's hard for me to do braids now. I'm still in the midst of trying out the scalp treatment and I wonder will it take me 2 or 3 months to finish the whole bottle. Lol. I noticed some baby hairs growing so I consider this as a slight improvement for now. I hope it works well for me but it's gonna take time to see the results. I can feel the stinging sensation from the second time I used it. I guess that's cos I began to be more liberal in pouring the amount of the liquid to my head lol. But then again, my hair falls quite a bit after I massage the liquid into my scalp. I'm feeling kinda troubled to see this, cos it seems my scalp just doesn't accept products that easily. I don't know what else to do but I think I wanna continue using it and see how it goes. Moreover it takes freaking long time for hair to grow. I need to be patient throughout this period. I need to have all this time to myself more. (>ω<)
By the way I'm happy to see Mish appearing in the newspaper on 17 November last year!
Although Mish hasn't been doing as much makeup tutorials as before, I'm actually fine with it. Moreover her other videos like Pillow talk and New chapter brings us closer too. And her DIY videos seems fun! I love how she's teaching us things in other ways. I still miss her makeup tutorial videos as always but I'm totally supporting her for whatever she does cos I can always gain something from her every time. I remembered a friend of mine who told me she isn't surprised about what Mish is doing cos by now Mish should already be running out of ideas for makeup long ago. Lol. Maybe so, but I think makeup is an endless creation. There are lots of different looks that one can come up with and it changes throughout the years along with the development of products. I don't mind re-watching some of her old videos again but I also believe Mish is still constantly working on creating more looks. I know she wouldn't stop making videos as she used to say that before and that's what she's happy with doing. And that's why all the more I'm so proud to be a dreamer. +.*☆( ˘ω˘ )☆*.+
Knowing who you are by expressing who you are on the outside so that people can see you.
You need to love yourself so you'll exist!! Although it takes time for me but I'm slowly able to find my way of expression and I can identify myself more this time. It's through Michelle Phan that my interest in makeup and skincare grow. During those times where I know nothing about the facial products, have bad skin, lack of confidence and not focusing on the right things. Now I became a better and confident person not just on the outside but also on the inside with regards to who I am.
Thank U Mish for teaching me so much~ (⌒‐⌒)
I will focus more on myself this year and continue to do what I love. Let's always be strong. ♥
Get in touch with your own beauty and flaws. It's the combination of the two that makes us all unique.
She's definitely the best inspirational artiste that I have come across, constantly giving her all and inspiring people from time to time. I feel that I can keep learning from her even until now, instead of the Jpop queen who used to inspire me. Well then, things change and human change too. But I always believe in changing for the better. I shall talk about this some other time then, since I still need time to get things sorted out. （・□・；）
What's even more wonderful than getting reply from your favourite artiste? I love when this happens and I will definitely capture such a moment. It's nice cos this made me feel closer to her than the queen. Oops, I mentioning it again. (>_<)
Anyway, I wasn't into the makeup look lowkey baddie where Mish replied me in. Probably cos I dislike that sort of colour on the lip and nails so the whole look seems plain to me. But I really like her braided hair! I would love to do my hair like this someday and hope it suits me. I don't have enough hair and so it's hard for me to do braids now. I'm still in the midst of trying out the scalp treatment and I wonder will it take me 2 or 3 months to finish the whole bottle. Lol. I noticed some baby hairs growing so I consider this as a slight improvement for now. I hope it works well for me but it's gonna take time to see the results. I can feel the stinging sensation from the second time I used it. I guess that's cos I began to be more liberal in pouring the amount of the liquid to my head lol. But then again, my hair falls quite a bit after I massage the liquid into my scalp. I'm feeling kinda troubled to see this, cos it seems my scalp just doesn't accept products that easily. I don't know what else to do but I think I wanna continue using it and see how it goes. Moreover it takes freaking long time for hair to grow. I need to be patient throughout this period. I need to have all this time to myself more. (>ω<)
By the way I'm happy to see Mish appearing in the newspaper on 17 November last year!
Although Mish hasn't been doing as much makeup tutorials as before, I'm actually fine with it. Moreover her other videos like Pillow talk and New chapter brings us closer too. And her DIY videos seems fun! I love how she's teaching us things in other ways. I still miss her makeup tutorial videos as always but I'm totally supporting her for whatever she does cos I can always gain something from her every time. I remembered a friend of mine who told me she isn't surprised about what Mish is doing cos by now Mish should already be running out of ideas for makeup long ago. Lol. Maybe so, but I think makeup is an endless creation. There are lots of different looks that one can come up with and it changes throughout the years along with the development of products. I don't mind re-watching some of her old videos again but I also believe Mish is still constantly working on creating more looks. I know she wouldn't stop making videos as she used to say that before and that's what she's happy with doing. And that's why all the more I'm so proud to be a dreamer. +.*☆( ˘ω˘ )☆*.+
Knowing who you are by expressing who you are on the outside so that people can see you.
You need to love yourself so you'll exist!! Although it takes time for me but I'm slowly able to find my way of expression and I can identify myself more this time. It's through Michelle Phan that my interest in makeup and skincare grow. During those times where I know nothing about the facial products, have bad skin, lack of confidence and not focusing on the right things. Now I became a better and confident person not just on the outside but also on the inside with regards to who I am.
Thank U Mish for teaching me so much~ (⌒‐⌒)
I will focus more on myself this year and continue to do what I love. Let's always be strong. ♥
Sunday, April 26, 2015
Loving myself~
Michelle Phan is being ever so inspiring and make me feel so comforted after watching it. Glad that there's another intimate talk again. ヽ(・∀・)ノ
I love the deep questions that she came up with in asking yourself [including to look at yourself in the mirror ^_^;]
Am I happy? Am I in the right relationship? Is this where I want to be in life? Am I doing what I love? Do I feel loved? Am I loving myself?
The key thing is really to maintain positive thoughts. I totally agree. =)
I'm beginning to be more sure of myself recently, and able to have the answers to those questions for myself. I'm glad that now I can be able to think clearly, and develop myself more and not wasting time. Because I'm able to have a direction now, I'm no longer lost. And it also comes from within, to know what you wanna do in life. I guess it's really important to take some time out to think about your life and future. I've always wanted a place where I belong, know where I stand, and how important I am to everyone. It feels so good now that I've got the answers.
And so, I'm loving myself more now. I truly happy. （＾∇＾）
Self-love is important. If you wanna build self-confidence, it really comes from inside. It's like planting a seed.
You can change the way you look at things. Because the things that you look at, will change. Doing positive things will have a positive reaction on others.
It's also through time that I realised I have influence on the people around me too. I didn't think that I was good in any way to have an positive impact on others. What am I capable of? What can I do for others? But the thing is, little actions do mean a lot. Every single move and things that I've said are actually sinking into their minds. One day, I can see it in them. And I feel so comforted when I know about it.
Life is too short to be negative. And yes, I have been exuding positive energy lately. (☆∀☆)
I'm glad that I can make the people around me happy. I do have the power. (*'▽'*)♪ I shouldn't belittle myself anymore.
I'm pretty sure, I'm being loved. ♥
"There's gonna be someone out there, that loves you, for you" ~Mish.
Thank you, Michelle. Thanks so much~! ^_^
I love the deep questions that she came up with in asking yourself [including to look at yourself in the mirror ^_^;]
Am I happy? Am I in the right relationship? Is this where I want to be in life? Am I doing what I love? Do I feel loved? Am I loving myself?
The key thing is really to maintain positive thoughts. I totally agree. =)
I'm beginning to be more sure of myself recently, and able to have the answers to those questions for myself. I'm glad that now I can be able to think clearly, and develop myself more and not wasting time. Because I'm able to have a direction now, I'm no longer lost. And it also comes from within, to know what you wanna do in life. I guess it's really important to take some time out to think about your life and future. I've always wanted a place where I belong, know where I stand, and how important I am to everyone. It feels so good now that I've got the answers.
And so, I'm loving myself more now. I truly happy. （＾∇＾）
Self-love is important. If you wanna build self-confidence, it really comes from inside. It's like planting a seed.
You can change the way you look at things. Because the things that you look at, will change. Doing positive things will have a positive reaction on others.
It's also through time that I realised I have influence on the people around me too. I didn't think that I was good in any way to have an positive impact on others. What am I capable of? What can I do for others? But the thing is, little actions do mean a lot. Every single move and things that I've said are actually sinking into their minds. One day, I can see it in them. And I feel so comforted when I know about it.
Life is too short to be negative. And yes, I have been exuding positive energy lately. (☆∀☆)
I'm glad that I can make the people around me happy. I do have the power. (*'▽'*)♪ I shouldn't belittle myself anymore.
I'm pretty sure, I'm being loved. ♥
"There's gonna be someone out there, that loves you, for you" ~Mish.
Thank you, Michelle. Thanks so much~! ^_^
Monday, February 23, 2015
Seeking inspiration from...
I have a period of somewhat a mental block earlier on January I couldn't think nor focus on doing what I want. It was quite a horrible feeling, that I can feel I'm useless suddenly. And so, I ended up talking to a few of friends about something else, how I feel and about maybe leaving everyone else.
Damn, that was the worst thought ever! 。・°°・(＞_＜)・°°・。
Well, I couldn't take back my words. But I guessed, it's also cos that after I've expressed it, I felt better moments later. And then I could think clearer when others told me of what they think. Yes, I shouldn't be in a rash no matter what, even when it comes to telling someone how I feel. But back then I didn't have a clear mind, I can't process my thoughts, so I ended up blabbering such stuffs that I never would have want to tell them again...
Anyway, things have been going good since. Probably cos I've got over those stupid thoughts and my friends made me feel better as always, or maybe from that day onwards idk. But I wouldn't wanna look back at that time. Although I made myself somewhat able to write 2 dark songs at the start of the year. But it was really a painful process I have been through. I wonder why it turned out to be like this. Is it because of someone who has caused me pain unknowingly? And that my inspiration couldn't come when I need it. It was hurting me deep inside I guess. (ó﹏ò｡)
My mood was certainly affected, and that's not a good thing cos I'm unable to do anything well cos of that. It's only that after listening to Kagrra, music I felt better. Much that I wished that certain things shouldn't happened to lead to this of me, somehow I think it made me grow. And be more conscious of myself. Don't keep thinking about doing things for others. I should think for myself too.
While I'm having complicated thoughts all over again.... (x_x)
Anyway, I've gotten back my inspiration to do the things that I like. Of course, lyrics wise I'm inspired by isshi now. But for fashion, beauty, life and everything else to learn from:
• Ayu → Been her fan since 2003. It's Ayu that I'm able to live through my teenage years.
• Michelle Phan → Following her for years when I just started into makeup. First video watched is from Mish, and have been continuing ever since 2010.
• Cheesie → The most hardworking blogger I've ever seen. Now that she's an amazing mum whom I look up to and aspire to be!
• Kumicky → My most favourite Popteen model I like since 2011. She also has a great personality and works hard all the time.
• Jenn Im → A great fashionista who is really eloquent. Just by looking at her makes me happy too.
I really feel revived after looking at them! I feel that I'm back once again! ♪～(´ε｀ )
And sometimes, I just have to feel good about myself. (*˘︶˘*).｡.:*♡
No worries cos life just goes on no matter what.
Damn, that was the worst thought ever! 。・°°・(＞_＜)・°°・。
Well, I couldn't take back my words. But I guessed, it's also cos that after I've expressed it, I felt better moments later. And then I could think clearer when others told me of what they think. Yes, I shouldn't be in a rash no matter what, even when it comes to telling someone how I feel. But back then I didn't have a clear mind, I can't process my thoughts, so I ended up blabbering such stuffs that I never would have want to tell them again...
Anyway, things have been going good since. Probably cos I've got over those stupid thoughts and my friends made me feel better as always, or maybe from that day onwards idk. But I wouldn't wanna look back at that time. Although I made myself somewhat able to write 2 dark songs at the start of the year. But it was really a painful process I have been through. I wonder why it turned out to be like this. Is it because of someone who has caused me pain unknowingly? And that my inspiration couldn't come when I need it. It was hurting me deep inside I guess. (ó﹏ò｡)
My mood was certainly affected, and that's not a good thing cos I'm unable to do anything well cos of that. It's only that after listening to Kagrra, music I felt better. Much that I wished that certain things shouldn't happened to lead to this of me, somehow I think it made me grow. And be more conscious of myself. Don't keep thinking about doing things for others. I should think for myself too.
While I'm having complicated thoughts all over again.... (x_x)
Anyway, I've gotten back my inspiration to do the things that I like. Of course, lyrics wise I'm inspired by isshi now. But for fashion, beauty, life and everything else to learn from:
• Ayu → Been her fan since 2003. It's Ayu that I'm able to live through my teenage years.
• Michelle Phan → Following her for years when I just started into makeup. First video watched is from Mish, and have been continuing ever since 2010.
• Cheesie → The most hardworking blogger I've ever seen. Now that she's an amazing mum whom I look up to and aspire to be!
• Kumicky → My most favourite Popteen model I like since 2011. She also has a great personality and works hard all the time.
• Jenn Im → A great fashionista who is really eloquent. Just by looking at her makes me happy too.
I really feel revived after looking at them! I feel that I'm back once again! ♪～(´ε｀ )
And sometimes, I just have to feel good about myself. (*˘︶˘*).｡.:*♡
No worries cos life just goes on no matter what.
Thursday, January 23, 2014
This new year...
Ar.. Haven't been blogging for sometime already! Feels kinda lazy and would rather just post all my photos straight at my personal fb. My life is too relaxed now. No good~!!! lol. I need to be working while enjoying and be happy everyday. haha. Time to look forward to a better life!
Now I have so many thoughts running in my mind. I'm starting to feel like writing stories and have began reading fiction! Oh yeah in fact I think I can be better in writing and describing things properly. I also feel inspired to write my ghostly encounter after reading Isshi's short ghost stories. haha. But mine won't be that scary. =p
Ar, I should be mentioning about New year resolutions too. I've already started writing it at the start of the year but Michelle Phan's is a good one for reference (^-^)
Michelle's
01. Appreciate the real world. Enjoy the moment.
02. Love myself. Build relationship with myself.
03. Taking my time and slow myself down.
Be happy. Be strong. Be fearless.
I have wrote 5 this time, and maybe I should really save it in my phone just like what Michelle Phan did so that I can constantly remind myself. But so far, I have been writing what I've done daily, looking at what I've achieved for the day. I guess that is an improvement ? haha.
I'm now even struggling over which anime to watch when I still have so many Kagrra, no Su episodes I've not seen yet. Argh!! Why do I have the temptation back again. lol. And I just started on One Piece because of the Channel 8 drama 我们一定行. I'm just curious about it. Why is it such a popular anime? But it's over 600 episodes which is madness!! In the past when I skimmed through Bleach till episode 40+ I got so exhausted already I wanna stop. And I've stopped watching all those freaking long story animes already. Is this even the right thing for me to do? And I have not yet watch the ending to Rozen Maiden. lol. I think I almost forgot the story already even though it's just 2 months ago I think. >_< Oh bother.. I don't know what should I go after now. I have to decide soon. And yes, I shall let my mood decide. lol.
Now I have so many thoughts running in my mind. I'm starting to feel like writing stories and have began reading fiction! Oh yeah in fact I think I can be better in writing and describing things properly. I also feel inspired to write my ghostly encounter after reading Isshi's short ghost stories. haha. But mine won't be that scary. =p
Ar, I should be mentioning about New year resolutions too. I've already started writing it at the start of the year but Michelle Phan's is a good one for reference (^-^)
Michelle's
01. Appreciate the real world. Enjoy the moment.
02. Love myself. Build relationship with myself.
03. Taking my time and slow myself down.
Be happy. Be strong. Be fearless.
I have wrote 5 this time, and maybe I should really save it in my phone just like what Michelle Phan did so that I can constantly remind myself. But so far, I have been writing what I've done daily, looking at what I've achieved for the day. I guess that is an improvement ? haha.
I'm now even struggling over which anime to watch when I still have so many Kagrra, no Su episodes I've not seen yet. Argh!! Why do I have the temptation back again. lol. And I just started on One Piece because of the Channel 8 drama 我们一定行. I'm just curious about it. Why is it such a popular anime? But it's over 600 episodes which is madness!! In the past when I skimmed through Bleach till episode 40+ I got so exhausted already I wanna stop. And I've stopped watching all those freaking long story animes already. Is this even the right thing for me to do? And I have not yet watch the ending to Rozen Maiden. lol. I think I almost forgot the story already even though it's just 2 months ago I think. >_< Oh bother.. I don't know what should I go after now. I have to decide soon. And yes, I shall let my mood decide. lol.
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