[OD] Say it and it will come true?

Here I am doing a backlog of my old pictures that's still hanging in my computer. lol. This post simply is here to make me recall those memories.... So let me talk a bit about it.

^ Omg for a moment when I just read what the Coach has replied me I couldn't recall what song I'm telling him! So what else can I do besides searching for that tweet since I liked it? Damn it was of no use since Coach quote my tweet instead of replying mine. So I don't know which Kagrra song am I talking about. (>ω<) This is kinda vexing since I won't know what's going on back then but never mind. I need to post this since Coach replied me. Oops come to think of it, I have not tweeted Coach ever since. I need to remind him of Kagrra, once again when I can. And therefore this will make me have the urge to brush up on my Japanese in order to chat with him once more. hahaha.

^ Damn this took place on 02 Dec 2015. Even further from the Coach tweet! lol. I was too happy over how Swoozie likes my tweet although it's not the first time but I like his little action of liking my tweet again and again. hahaha. He never fail to make my day as well. I really appreciate how he bothers to read my tweet and comments to him since I didn't think he would care about a small fry like me but yeah, he does! So he's one youtuber I like a lot along with his jokes. Definitely one cool guy worth my support. (^ε^)

^ Ahh, lastly about this movie I've watched last year which is called Erased 僕だけがいない街. I watched the anime when it was just released in early 2016. Sadly it got removed after I only watched a few episodes from it. (x_x) Nevertheless the story was pretty good. I kinda expected the ending since the main character Satoru wanted to change the past in order to save friends and his mum, so he has to die and be 'erased' from the earth in order to do so. A sad ending but his action is really admirable and noble. I only felt pity for him that he did not get to be with the girl Airi whom he likes. Well, I believe he liked her. It looks obvious. But I'm also kinda upset that he didn't confess his feelings to her. At least something good has to happen in the show isn't it? It's just a pity that this didn't happen. (;´д｀)

At the start of the movie I got kinda bored at first since it's exactly the same as the anime to outline the plot. Anyway I'm kinda impressed how the print on the ticket still remains clear till now cos the other ticket of mine in which I watched later than Erased has already faded. Yeah I'm impressed with how the Erased ticket hasn't got erased yet LOL.

The thing that I recalled from this movie is that they mentioned about saying things out so that it will come true. If I didn't remember wrongly, they're referring to their wishes. If you said it, it will come true. This is something that has been bothering me for some time though. I don't know if saying it will make it come true or not since during birthdays when you're making a wish you don't usually say it. If it really comes true, does this mean God is answering your wishes? Or is this just coincidence? Or that you have clairvoyance and predicted the future at the right time? Or it is the level of your consciousness that resulted in the law of attraction? So what can it be?? WHICH IS THE RIGHT ANSWER? ＼（＞０＜）／ SHOULD I SAY OUT MY WISHES OR NOT?

I have not decided what I wanted to do for this so......

I might just keep it in my heart for now.

If one day it happens that when I said my wish and it did came true, that's when I'll begin to say all my wishes out ONE BY ONE.

If only it happens.

I want the book!!

I spent one of the weekday last month just to meet my friend for ktv! She took a day leave too so that we can go out together and have fun. It was a little crazy to me cos it's the first time I'm taking leave from work for such purpose, but yeah I have my own choice anyway, as long as I can manage my work well. I can do that more often! Just that if only I have a special someone to do for I would feel that is all more worthy. hahaa.

The only thing I dislike is that we have to download their app in order to choose the songs we wanted to sing. [The one in the top right hand corner] That is really troublesome to me, and we have to enter the password provided at their screen in our room. The thing is, by using our phone also drains unnecessary battery power and it's not convenient to me at all! Luckily I have brought my powerbank with me, and luckily I bought it with a friend months ago. The way we have to search for the songs and singers is not that user-friendly also. We have to key in the right words the app perceive in order to find the ones we've been searching for. And I don't think there's a lot of song selections compared to the usual and other ktvs that we've been. It's kinda sad that only for Japanese songs they'll have another device it which is better afterall and maybe they just cater more for the Japanese songs than Chinese ones. But then, why do my friend wanted to come here? That's also weird of her then. lol.

So the next time, I won't choose to go there anymore. I even deleted the app. What's the point of having it occupying my phone space when the sight of it annoys me so much. lol.

Something worth mentioning, I'm really happy that the local Youtuber whom I've been following actually retweeted my tweet for liking their video about Pokemon Go! lol.

I really like such response from them! And they are a pair of funny brothers who seemed really close together. How I wished I would have a brother like them too. ∵ゞ(>ε<; )ぶっ


And there it's been a while since I wanted to buy Cheesie's How to be a Successful Blogger (Cheat One™) book. I've been reading her blog all along and I like her so much! I have been searching for it in bookstores whenever I passed by them. But I just couldn't find it. So that's when I decided I should ask if she knows since sometimes she would be in Singapore. It was nice of her to reply me last week. =)

Sadly, the hardcopy isn't sold here yet huh? But I wanted a real book, not an e-book! I would love to touch and flip and read the real thing before my eyes. I want to collect it. Not that I don't support her, I prefer a hardcopy version in which I'll treasure so much more. =/

So maybe I'm just gonna wait.  I didn't buy Michelle Phan's book till now it's weird cos I didn't see it anymore! Why when I wanted to get something... (,_,)

I really have the urge to read books now as you know. And collect them.

I hope Cheesie knows my preference and probably other fans who want the same will be able to get the hardcopy soon?

Before my urge die down soon. lol. 

#20 lyric: Azrael

This is my lyric for June! I have been coming across this Buck Tick's dark song in which I love and recalled that I've written something like that many months ago last year. It all started with this tweet in which I feel probably this means it's time to revive that dark feelings again. lol.

As much as I think mine may not be as great as Atsushi's but I feel this song has brought out so much power! I enjoyed watching as they perform the song live. It's as if you got all in your hands and capable of doing anything. It's really really the only song I feel it overwhelmed me in such a strong way. xD

[Inspired by BUCK-TICK 夢魔-The Nightmare]

Azrael
Soaked in the cloud of darkness,
I'm the fallen angel longing to be taken over

Repression builds up day by day, a life that I have devoured away
I'm the spirit wanting to be dyed in a pool of blood

Sins crawling towards me, how can I stop

On the cold ground where I stand,
chasing misdeed one after another
I'm the fallen angel whom has lost his soul

The desire-turned-nightmare that devoured my only life away
I'm the spirit wanting to be drenched in a pool of blood

Filth crawling towards me shamelessly, who can be here to stop it

A world of cruelty that exist,
seeing too much that my heart goes mad
With endless screams playing,
should they be left alone?

*Soaked in the cloud of darkness,
I'm the fallen angel longing to be taken over

A life that I have devoured away
I'm the spirit wanting to be dyed in a pool of blood

Chasing misdeed one after another
I'm the fallen angel whom has lost his soul

The desire-turned-nightmare that devoured my only life away
I'm the spirit wanting to be drenched in a pool of blood*

Crying souls of tonight,
should they be left alone? 

~~~~~
Feeling dark with power,...

Watch me with fear! 

~~Yuuka

The different feeling...

Have missed out earlier in February to mention about Izumi's birthday on the 11th. Oh well, what else but to tweet to Nao about it? lol. I'm glad he tweets on those special dates and I believe he does keep track of them better than I do. Sometimes I only realised it's a special day only when it comes, or when I saw on my twitter timeline. Nooooo I didn't mean to forget! I got them written on my calendar! The only date that I've missed out is the disbandment day. Other than that, I'm not guilty of anything I swear! (x_x)

Okay~ although it's quite plain, but the colourful hearts win isn't it? xD

But yeah I haven't been listening to Kagrra as much as those days last year. Since I'm into Buck tick as my inspiration source. I don't know is it something that I have to be guilty of after all. I mean, we should explore others too and that doesn't mean that I've forgotten what I love most nor does it mean I don't care about Kagrra, anymore.

But recently, probably it's been a little too long that I haven't touch on Kagrra, until that I couldn't form any words I wanted to say on the 3rd March that day...

All I did was to retweet from Japanese fans and from Nao. I don't know what else to say. Yeah it's been 5 years since that day but I just can't say it out. Maybe because it's the day where disbanded so it's something sad for me that I don't wanna recall? I don't even know why myself.. I was feeling kind out of place too when I went to listen Haru Urara and some other Kagrra songs and then...

the feeling is really different!!

Maybe because of the different genre and mood that Buck tick gives and so when I'm back to Kagrra, the feeling is somewhat something I have to adjust back?  And then because of that, I feel sad again. Is this something I have to be guilty of after all? (ó﹏ò｡)

Well I hope no one blames me, although most of the time I'm the one who blames myself. It doesn't help too right? Unless I can change that.

I wanted to write those lyrics that I'm proud of again. But inspiration is evil. It comes and goes as fast as the wind. It's hard for me to catch it on time. ｡ﾟ(ﾟ´Д｀ﾟ)ﾟ｡


Well then, the only thing now is to make sure that Buck tick helps me as good as what Kagrra did. And to end this post happily,

I started off my March month in a really good mood.

Beer has helped me a lot too haha. 

I might be ready for more...

I will do my best!　力のかぎり頑張ろう！

My first Kagrra, karaoke♪

So on the last day of 2015, I get to have a fun time singing Kagrra, songs at a friend's friend's place! ♪～(´ε｀　)

I feel so thankful to be invited and was a little hesitant to go as the day gets nearer cos I'm worried that I'll not be recovered well enough then to sing. (^_^;)  But then I still go ahead with it anyway since it was a special day after all and how can I miss out the fun! Although I was still sick but I wasn't sneezing so it wasn't that serious. I supposed I won't be able to spread to anyone although I still have phlegm that is stuck at my respiratory system. lol  It didn't affect me that much, just that cos I had too much pizza my throat got kinda dry along with all that singing. So I thought it's better that I'll not have the bread pudding they were making. Kinda pity I didn't have their dessert. (,_,)  There's a bit too much starch for dinner I got really full. (≧▽≦) But nevertheless Mr. Host is a nice guy who got us so much food. ٩(๑´3｀๑)۶ Excepts that he coughs so much more than me although he sang lesser songs than I do. xD


The song that I have to sing on this special day.... What else but Urei!! (*^◯^*) It's Kagrra,'s major debut song for 1st Jan! [although I didn't countdown to 1st Jan with this song]

I was singing only Kagrra, songs during the whole time and I didn't even get to sing all yet from the list in the system! lol. Hmm I can't even say which song I'm best at from that day's singing. Of course I chose my top favourite Omou but it feels a little different than I expected. Somehow as u know, the karaoke system music sounded differently from the original songs and the whole feeling just becomes different. And the background screen isn't their pvs at all. Not even a single one. I can't feel the Kagrra, atmosphere as much as I want to. (-_-) But luckily, there are Furigana for the lyrics if not I probably can't sing so smoothly for all the songs since isshi's kanji is all too hard to read. (-｡-;) Oh gosh, just how long more will it take me to master Japanese well enough to sing with ease? （＞０＜）


In fact, at the start, we sang Sakura~saikai no hana~ which is my friend's favourite. hehe.

For one thing, I was wondering how do they [the program] decide on the songs in the system. Kagrra, has so many great songs and yet those that I can sing didn't appear in it! Some of the songs are so cold like they're in the freezer [cos I don't listen to them as much] and yet they appear in the list. It's a bit dangerous to choose those that aren't my favourites cos I'll not be that familiar with it then it'll be a wasted song chosen and there goes the time. lol.


Let me recall as much as I can for the songs that are available:
鬼遊の唄
魔笛
鵺の哭く頃
し、み、め、ゆ、き、さ、あ
神謌
徒然なるままに
桜～再会の花～
沙羅双樹の子護唄
夢イズル地
桜舞い散るあの丘で
恋綴魂
春麗ら
月下想葬
奇祭
桜花爛漫
愁
戀
華
闇に散りけり。。。
源平闘戰譚
憶
鬼を憐れむ謳
廻
在りし日の微傷
うたかた
「叫び」
あの坂を登れば
維新
風
霞んだ冬の向こうに...
彩の讃歌
渦
桜月夜
白ゐ嘘

I think I sang around 16 songs from the list during the night? xD
Kagrra, songs are indeed hard to sing really!! Isshi is too amazingly good. I tried singing my favourite song 維新 ishin and the key goes really low and then really high. OMG. It stressed out my voice so much!!! For most of the Kagrra, songs we felt the same difficulty. I enjoyed singing them a lot since it was the first time I can sing my true favourite music but it was also a challenge. Lol. I don't know how isshi's vocal range can be so wide and done with such beauty. I felt the difficulty and so I'm very impressed with this man so much now. Okay, I do have to include the fact that my voice isn't very well that day so maybe I could have done better too. I'll probably be able to sing 「叫び」Sakebi with more force and felt much better with shouting out loud if I can. lol.

I remember I gave up singing on 沙羅双樹の子護唄 Sarasouju no komoriuta cos it ended up not easy for me to sing at all. Oops. I guess I depended on singing along with the original singer's voice too much. Damn that system needs to be improved!! We had a struggle to input the songs that we wanna sing at first, and probably spent like half and hour to figure it out? And they should include original singer's voice at the background as a choice and make the search easier. Argh. But I can't complain. Since I was given the chance to sing for free. And it was Mr. Host's after all. (≧ω≦) Wonder if he would sing as much during his free time since he has paid for it. xD


Yeah what's more, I tweeted to isshi's Coach to wish him a Happy New Year with hopes of him replying to me that he still remembers me lol.

Oh yes and he did!!
Damn that Echofon app on my phone his reply didn't appear!! I was wondering about it since the whole of yesterday. I don't think he can be that cruel to ignore my tweet? I was about to retweet him again until I decided to check it out using my com. And there then I can find his reply to me. Great!! He still remembers!! I'm so thrilled! ヽ(・∀・)ノ At least we ordinary fans aren't being ignored at all. Sorry I almost misunderstood u. I'm glad Coach didn't let me down after all. haha!


It was a rainy new year! Yesterday and today. It will be this good since I start off with good sleep and able to let my mind off. I'm looking forward to better days ahead! I'm sure it'll be much better than before. ＼(^^)／

Revive memories: Kagrra, no Su episode 63 - New Year's Battle 2009

Ah...I just feel like looking back a little at those tweets that I've posted of Kagrra but not to my blog. This was actually just last year's and it's been so fun to watch them! Well now I'm posting the pictures here mainly but I didn't watch the video in full but only some parts just today. (ｰｰ;) I can still remember this episode as u know because it's too funny especially Akiya's part! This is one of the episodes that I love. haha.

The best thing is to see the members facing the punishment they had lost from the games. xD Shin chose to imitate isshi in the way he sings but isshi doesn't seem too happy to see that. Akiya is laughing out so loud! Lol!! This is something I didn't expect from Shin when I first watched it.

And this one is the funniest thing to me when Akiya tries to introduce himself in English. (≧▽≦)

I still can't forget the "I don't think I pee" part. Omg. xD


Oh back then I didn't know what's this thing called. It's a 剣玉 Kendama, a traditional Japanese toy and you have to let the ball fall into the hole. The craze actually came this year cos there's just many little kids starting to play those just almost everywhere. lol.
It's pretty cool to see all the members able to do so at the first attempt, but it gets hard for the second cos you have to turn it over. I'm so happy that the eventual winner is Isshi~!! haha. He seems to be really good at traditional stuffs!

Seeing isshi spinning a top is funny too! Izumi was saying "That's dangerous!" when Isshi's top flew towards them. lol~ Nao couldn't do it too at 3 attempts. And that was when isshi was given a chance to spin again...

 and he did it!!

This is when he gives such a nice pose. haha.

Since Nao is the loser, he has to wear that ribbon and cat ears hairband and say "Nya~". Omg I was laughing so hard at this along with the members laughter!! He must have felt really embarrassed!! I'm so sorry Nao. U're too funny and cute.  ( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ウァﾊﾊ八八ﾉヽﾉヽﾉヽﾉ


Alrights, I had so much fun tonight with this let me have a good night once more. I shall end my post with this:

Let's laugh more with Kagrra,!!

おやすみ～

In Utakata mood~~~

I'm probably too much into Utakata recently, and really for quite a long time ever since I got my Shizuku album. lol. Can't helped it since it's the first song playing in the album. It was filled with lots of memories and for the fact that Isshi wrote this song for his doggie Vivienne made me touched. I feel it was such a bittersweet song when I know how Utakata came about. I'll always remember the look from isshi's face like this. I wonder why. (・_・)

And it was so coincident that Nao mentioned about Utakata last week. It warmed my heart. All the more I should reply to Nao for talking about Kagrra, and it's been so long since I tweeted in Japanese and to him!!

I sincerely hope he reads all fans tweets >_<


I was also scrolling through all my old tweets and saw this lovely isshi pic with beanie on. What a coincidence once again!! I didn't even remember I tweeted this before. lol. I was thinking of it suddenly before I saw this old tweet and even told my buddy to get one. I wanted one myself too! haha. So it's been like more than 1 year that I've said I wanted it but didn't get it yet! (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`) Let me get a suitable one soon. I hope I look as good as Isshi. lol.

Anyway, I'm glad I had that picture saved in my SD card since I just transferred to a new phone and I thought of changing the wallpaper. This one is indeed the best!!

Now I can see my isshi's face clearly every single day!! (≧ω≦)


Hope I can get used to my new phone soon. Gonna take me time to learn all the functions and stuff. Probably draining my patience too. lol. But it's a much better phone so I'm not complaining!!


Time to get more things done!!

Isshi and Coach!

I'm so glad my dear buddy upload this video of isshi, which is something related to his Onkai Isshi Mimibukuro book. Damn, I actually didn't know there's a DVD of it. I'm really happy that I can watch it although I thought it's scary at first. Lol. 

It's actually that long ago in 2009~~

Look my isshi-sama is so cool when he strikes a pose. =D







Actually I think it's the second part of the video that is kinda scary. It was at night when they went inside the haunted building and look around. But Isshi's coach left first in which I don't get why? There are strange noises that came when they were filming and even leaving the cam there while there's no one around. I don't know what to make out of this. It's kinda common to hear noises I supposed. But what's the use of investigating this? To prove their existence? We do know they exist! No one wants to see any scary images or anything and what can you do about them if they attack but yet you can't see those? And it's in the dark! What's the purpose and conclusion of such an activity? (-｡-;

I'm not complaining about my isshi but I don't understand why there are those who made videos about going to haunted house think it's fun and became so terrified in the end like in some shows that I've seen. You could have expected it isn't it? I don't know if I should cry or what but anything horror like that I'll just be away then. Stay away from me. lol.


Anyway, this video reminds me of Coach. I know about him when I read that translation of isshi's Onkai book. In fact, I'm not that happy at some comments the Coach wrote in the book, but anyway he seemed to be close and good to Isshi so I can ignore that. haha. I used to talked to him at twitter messages. I'm looking back at those now to realise that those took place in March!
Here's how it happened: I followed him first on twitter [have no idea how I came across his twitter account but somehow I did] and he followed back. I thought that's about it. Will I tweet anything to him? I'm actually not even sure if it's the real Isshi's Coach that I'm following but I supposed so. (^_^);

It was when not long after he followed me back he sent me a pic of him and isshi through the messages!!

And there I plucked up my best courage to message him all in Japanese, hoping he would understand. But of course he did. I can understand him too. lol.

He was saying I shouldn't mind too much since he still can understand what I'm saying. I'm asking him to come to Singapore cos there's lots of different types of food that he can eat, and he might like them. And my wish is to go to Japan and also visit Isshi's hometown.

What brightens me up from Coach is that when I tell him I don't wanna let isshi down so I'll try my best to learn my Japanese well, he said "Isshi's a gentle person, he won't be disappointed. And that's because I said this as his Sensei, so it has to be true! Please work hard on your Japanese!"


That was the most touching thing I've ever read that day that I teared...(┯_┯) I can feel that he knows, and isshi knows too...

It's been a struggle for me to self study it throughout the years. And recently I have to leave my time for my accounting studies so I haven't got much time to focus on my Jap again. And there I also wanna have time for inspiration so that I can do my lyric writing well.. and........

there's just so much that I wanna do!! (ーー゛)


But of course, now that I have just looked back on those messages they made me think back again. I'd probably have to squeeze in time for my Jap. I might tire myself even more but to read back such a thing always tells me not to lose the motivation and get back to work on it well. I still remember one of my wishes too, and that is to translated all my works into Japanese, or even write directly in Japanese in the future. Now I really wished I have all the time in the world to focus on Kagrra, and my interest. I just wanna lead a simple life without those stress.

I shall keep reminding myself and not forget, right? → I'm a confident dreamer~~


Maybe life is only a little tough for me right now, but I just have to hang on until I see the light. 

Bless me! 

Why was there emptiness...

Late on this post I'm feeling so bad about this! (>_<) I didn't have the mood at all last week so I couldn't post a thing at all. What an empty week even though I had a day off!! Can't remember exactly what I did on that Friday. (｡-_-｡) I'm not even happy to mention about this myself. lol. But this week has been productive! I wrote down the list of things that I wanna do [in which I've always been doing usually xD] and somehow I got them completed by today!! Well, I guess what deters me from getting things done is the MOOD, not how tough nor how time consuming it is. lol.

It was our Kagrra, members' birthday in August and September. And as usual, I'll like to tweet about it. I've been receiving tweets from Akiya which I supposed is spam cos I've been getting the same thing quite a few times. It's highly possible that the account is not him anymore cos he hasn't been using it for a super long time [more than a year]. Although now he's active but for such tweets all the same in his timeline and nothing else normal like his old tweets, I can't feel that all happy even though I got tweets from him. I really hope our Akiya is back to realise this and be active for real. (｡•́︿•̀｡)

I miss U too Akiya-san!! I hope u received and saw my tweet to u and know we Kagrra, fans are still around...

If only the other members also have a twitter account. (┯_┯) Well, that I can only refer to Shin and Izumi. Shouldn't Shin have one too since he's still active in the music scene? It's bored for me to tweet without able to tag anyone except my fren. lol.


These 3 weeks I'm actually working 4 days a week and probably that's something I enjoy for the first time. Of course it'll be the best if that can be like this forever. xD  2 days of weekend is indeed not enough. It should be half a week for work, half a week to rest and have fun. haha. Yeah that was my kind of ideal life to only work 4 days, but sadly don't think any full time jobs are only 4 days. Casual Fridays make me no motivation for work sometimes. And so somehow I dislike Fridays cos I won't have the mood to shop. Okay, now I don't understand what I'm saying. So I don't have any mood on Fridays? hmm... (・・;)


Anyway, I chanced upon Kumicky on tv with Pikarin again! They were both dressed up in Lolita style and introducing delicious desserts once again. Her program always make me in so much envy!! Lol~

I really hope there's more for me to watch! Since there is no more Popteen for me to chase after. And now I feel a lack in something I'm not sure what it is. Maybe I need to read more books and be inspired or what. I can't describe such a feeling now.. Why is there some sort of emptiness in my heart? Is that cos I lack of something to chase after now? IS that the reason so? I do think it could be something else....

Maybe listening to more Buck-tick? Suddenly they seemed to have disappeared from my life I'm sad.  (,_,)

For this 18th July...

[Continue from 8th lyric release - Departure]

I was supposed to be blogging about this on Saturday as I planned, since 18 July is such an important day, but I wasn't in quite a good condition. (,_,) Okay, not like I'm totally good now, but at least I felt better even though I couldn't eat much. There goes my public holiday on Friday too. I've spent these 3 days mainly sleeping the whole afternoon cos I felt so unwell. And the weather was horribly hot!! I'm pretty sure I've lost weight over the months, I must have looked kinda bad. lol. And with some sad thoughts on missing isshi, I really wished I could just sleep and meet him in my dreams and forget all about this world.

I actually felt so sad. (┯_┯)

Now my head hurts a lot too. Maybe I'm partially sick, for whatever reason. My July probably ended up as a little empty compared to last year's. Should I really mind that much? I've been bothered with too many things I've already felt restless. I really wished I need not care about anything anymore. Maybe no one else cares too..


Argh, maybe I should shut myself away from those thoughts and get my strength back again. Why am I so down. ( ´•︵•` ) Can somebody stop me??


The thing I wanted to mention today is Nao's tweet on isshi's death anniversary:

Just like last year, the sky was cloudy and rainy in Japan too!! What a coincidence. Maybe that's the sign for us by Isshi. haha.

Nao is always so sweet to remember this day. How I wished I could be drinking too if I weren't that sick. =(



Still feeling a little vexed that I didn't get to watch some Kagrra, vids that I planned initially.
I hope August would be a better month for me to come up with some time for those, and I won't be as tired as now. I really wanted a long holiday of my own, to somewhere without any disruption and noise. Can I be allowed to do this....? Can anyone understand me?

Let me be a step closer to Isshi..

Kagrra,'s day - 03 June

I'm touched that on this very day, Nao tweets about his blog post on Kagrra,'s day.

I don't remember seeing Nao having such a long blog post about Kagrra, and indeed [since I went to look up at it too] it's the first time he typed so much about Kagrra on this day. I guess throughout these 4 years it's all been building up in his heart, so he really feel that he should talk about it now.

I was reading really slowly to understand what Nao is saying. It's probably a day where he is thankful for? And it's a proud thing for him that the 5 of them can go on as Kagrra, with the support of Gurrakos, and so we are treasures to them! At the last live performance, Nao doesn't want to show us his crying face at the end of the live, and so he only cried after that. He even mentioned at the start of his first solo, it was tough since he hasn't played the bass for a year. O_O

After that, I couldn't quite get the second part of the post, but I supposed he was saying he might feel that isshi would be laughing at him, asking him "What are you doing, Nao-ran!" Lol. Well, and 03 June is always a day that he cherish, he hopes that he can convey Kagrra,'s memories and that we can feel the soul of their songs.

He is also grateful to have met everyone.

And it ended with Nao laughing how young he was back then.  (-^〇^-)


You see, it's such a touching post. ｡ﾟ(ﾟ´Д｀ﾟ)ﾟ｡ Only Nao can make me feel good so far. Wished that the other members feel the same and also be posting something like that too.

Because we still have Nao-ran, I will always be remembering those special days too.

I will never forget how you guys make me feel how beautiful this world is with your music. We are definitely in the same world. 

Thank you so much, Nao-ran... my favourite isshi, and all Kagrra, members.

We will all cherish our days and memories together.. till we see isshi.

Happy Kagrra, day, always.

I'm a confident dreamer~~

Yeah I'm so happy that Michelle Phan actually replied me last night when it was just a random thought that I have after watching her video. It was interesting for Michelle to use horoscopes as the idea for some fun and a little makeup tutorial. I like the temporary tattoo and the shoes they decorated them! It made me have a sudden urge to do that to my shoes too. It's cool that you can make them unique, and to receive compliments for such. (≧▽≦) Let's see if I'm able to do anything like that. haha.

And from now on, I'm gonna call myself a dreamer. hehe.  （＾∇＾）

I just made myself recall this post Swoozie replied my comment and even favourited my tweet while I'm blogging now. Yeah so coincidentally I was about to talk about the topic on self confidence, again. Lol.

I have been thinking lately, that I do need confidence and cos this is what most people expects out of me. While they have confidence in me, I don't really have the same amount that they have of me. Just how much confidence do I need to be okay? And how can I secure that?

But really, low confidence that I have in myself seems to spoil things for me. lol. It seems that most people wants me to appear like that so that they can rest assured of the things that they put me in charge with. Of course I am someone dependable and I keep my words. But just that I'm worried that if I'm not up to the job or at their expectations and letting the people around me disappointed is something I hate to happen. So that's why, I have been trying hard to see how can I change that. Most probably is my way of thinking then.

Well of course not that I wanna fake the confidence cos that's what they want out of me. I do need confidence so that I can perform well too. If I think I can't, most probably I really can't since I would be worrying so much already. [Stop the 'What if' questions!] I really can't deny myself, anything of myself cos this makes things worse isn't it?

And so, I have to be very sure of myself. That's what I've concluded that I should be after reading a little about self confidence. I guess the best way is to work hard and be knowledgeable [after all]. Of course, this also includes being a positive person. Not afraid of anything, not undervaluing your capabilities, and having the strong sense of belief in yourself.

Confident people has the power to influence people too. I always hope that I can attain that. The idea seems far, but the fact that I can inspire some of my friends is something I feel proud too. I didn't expect/think that I can have a positive impact on anyone, but since that happens, it feels really good. I feel so worthy. Lol.


Therefore I probably have to consistently tell myself that "I'm really a worthy person. I am talented and capable like what most people think of me."  (-^〇^-) Cos that would make me achieve and succeed in the things that I wanted to do.  Yeah, that's it! Stop thinking and worrying too much!!


Well then, I also hope that I can be in an environment where it forces me to be strong, and as a result be confident. It sounded kinda tough, but let's see if that could happen... Now I just need to focus on what I wanted to do. ＼＼\(۶•̀ᴗ•́)۶//／／


The only thing that I don't want is to let anyone down. That's all. 

Even Isshi's coach told me so, that Isshi won't be disappointed in me.

And he won't because he knows that I will work hard. =)

Cucumbers~

It does seem that I'm blogging quite frequently right? Well I try my best to get a post published a day so it seems like there's something all the time. Lol. And yeah last week I have a post everyday for the week!! That's somewhat an achievement right? =D This goes to my good planning. hahaha.

I know I'm supposed to be in a relax mood, well initially I wasn't. I can't be. It's hard since the sudden switch in lifestyle. And now that I'm really in a relax mood in which I do think it's not that good now since I will need to be active back again real soon! Gosh I hate myself for sleeping so late at night like 2am but I can't help it, I ended up listening to songs, writing lyrics or studying at that time. I don't wanna be a night owl it's bad to health right? Despite enough rest, I have dark circles now, much darker than before I don't understand why!! And those freaky eye bags. I don't get why they appear. Body aches are coming back often too. Does this all have to do with age?  (,_,) I wonder have I lost weight after CNY. And somehow I felt my old ailment is back. =(

I need to be stronger!!


Last week I'm into eating cucumbers cos of a dream of me eating cucumbers. How funny. xD I really did so anyways since I have the craving somehow. I added blueberry vinegar to it so it tasted better and really refreshing!

I'm also trying to cook a meal since I have some free time. But it really depends on my mood and it does take quite a long time for me starting from buying ingredients, prepare them but chopping/slicing etc., then cook slowly, then put them all together. And also there's washing.....There's just so much to do how does anyone have the patience when you're already hungry!! (ノ-_-)ノ~┻━┻

I really wonder how those people can get themselves to cook everyday. And every single meal! It's really tiring and time consuming. Freaking patience for that. But I guess probably is the interest that pushed them. I don't know if that can happen to me. I'm just trying now so I feel that I'm capable of something. It won't be my forte though. At least, I can make people feel I won't let them go hungry? Hahaha. But don't put on any high expectations on the quality and taste of my food. Although at least they're better than unhealthy food from outside. (≧▽≦)


Now I have to get my inspiration coming or else...

It's the 4th anniversary of Kagrra, demise.

How time flies, it's been 4 years since Kagrra,'s demise on March 3rd. It wasn't supposed to be a sad thing anymore...since it's been so long. It's probably more like a reminder to me that I've grown together with Kagrra, this long. I've actually been their fan for 7 years. Awesomeness.  (*^◯^*)

I've even more happy that Nao still tweets about it. Seems like he remembers all the dates related to Kagrra,. I'm so so so happy that he's such a loyal member of Kagrra, because he hasn't forget a thing. And this just proves how important Kagrra, is to him. And also to mention that he's also a Gurakko. This is the best I've ever seen!! ♥

Cos Nao mentions of this song Haru Urara [oops noticed the mistake in my tweet] on this very date, I'm so gonna set this song as the song for their demise day! And since it's a happy song, it's good cos it'll remind me to be thankful and happy on this day even though Kagrra, is no longer around. I'm also glad that Haru Urara actually has a day now. lol. (≧▽≦)


And so, I somehow recalled that I have a blog post before on this pv with isshi smiling. Indeed, and I was mentioning that I wanna write a happy lyric like Haru Urara. hahaha. I wanted to, but it seems like I didn't managed to do it? It's just me to write sad songs I guess. Happy songs are kinda hard for me to use really nice positive words. If I'm happy, I'm happy. What more words do I need to use to express myself? lol.

Well, but isshi is smiling at me like that, I gotta do something right? lol. And that's the only pv with Isshi smiling if I'm not wrong. (^▽^)

Okay then, I shall do it Isshi-sama. Don't keep looking at me like this. I know, I will do it for your sake! xD


Oops I'll probably need to do it for March 20th. I will do my best!