Happy birthday isshi-sama♪ ~ 07 Dec 2016

It's the time for me to blog about isshi's birthday once every year!

I have to work on that day so early morning I can only check out the tweets and see if Nao has mentioned about him. ♪～(´ε｀　)

I couldn't think of what else to say other than the usual birthday wish to him. [That being said cos I've not touched my Japanese for a while >_<] And I'm glad that there are Japanese fans who 'liked' my simple tweet to isshi. They wrote it better than I do! haha. But anyway, at least I've planned out and posted my old lyric to isshi on his birthday as a present to him. I'm even happier to know that this song appears to be the top of my buddy's list for my lyric writing!! (*ﾟ∀ﾟ*)☆彡

Thanks man. It's all worth that I've spent so much time on it. Although sometimes when I read back at them again, I just don't feel satisfied or happy with it.

I'm glad you like my writing so much, especially the ones I wrote for you.

I wanna write more and better ones for the upcoming year. Please give me inspiration too.

Love you guys.ヽ(*´з｀*)ﾉ

#26 lyric: 残花

I realised I'm in no time to post a November lyric like I wanted to! (>_<)  Luckily I had already got it done before November so in total I will still have a lyric post for each month. It was quite unexpected due to a turn in events and I ended up being into Kpop this November. lol.

But today, it's the special day of my dear isshi-sama, the one whom I will never ever forget of course, and I will be doing something for him once again.

To be honest, I'm kinda struggling as of now to come up with a lyric each month because I haven't been producing enough as compared to last year. It's hard to clear my mind with so many things going on. I need peace so that I can have a clear mind to write in the way I wanted.

I don't know if this would be called as the end to my lyric writing like Kagrra, [I certainly hope not!] but writing in their style has been a challenge for me. What I'm saying is that please don't pin on any high hopes for my future lyric writing. I will still be doing although at a slower pace and might not be in Kagrra, style anymore. I won't know for sure what's next that's gonna inspire me to write in another way which might be different? Other than what Buck-Tick does? It was already unexpected for me to find out that Buck-Tick is my style. But who knows what am I gonna come across next year and find another style of mine again. haha. But of course, it has been an enjoyable journey to began writing that much and to be in my own world. I love to see that I'm also slowly evolving as well and to maintain such a beautiful blog. Welcome to my mystery world!! Now isshi's Queen is gonna present her gift to her beloved man with much sorrow. This work of mine has been ringing in my heart for so long [been 2 years] and I've been hesitating to share. Because I was so afraid of reading it again I might tear. (T ^ T) But it has to be here someday, perhaps. So that I won't regret or anything if my notebook got lost one day. [touch wood!] Either way I'll just be very afraid but I have to choose the best option. This time I am truly prepared to let this lyric be seen by the whole world...


This is for you, isshi-sama ♥

[Inspired by Kagrra, 終焉の季節]

残花(ざんか)
How many times have I came to realise,
only to cherish when things became memories
Even smiles will hide behind

Can I believe coincidence is fate?
If everything happens for a reason we can't control,
it's still beautiful

*The wind blows strongly with no mercy
The rain falls flooding my emotions viciously
However I won't live in disappointment miserably
The warmth will always be surrounding me because you're around

Why are humans sorrow beings?
Why only happiness have to be short-lived yet attractive

How do I deserve this miracle,
knowing that I wasn't alone and crying
Even pain can be nostalgic

*The wind blows strongly with no mercy
The rain falls flooding my emotions viciously
However I won't live in disappointment miserably
The warmth will always be surrounding me because you're around

At least I felt the existence of us
is comforting
Even tears will hide behind

And now I can countdown to eternity
before all my petals fall off
~~~~~
This is our neverending love, isshi-sama.

Even if you didn't get to see this from me.

Thank U for your music and life. It has been so true to me.

I will be better year by year.

And I will certainly wish on your behalf for the better. .｡.:*♡ (๑ˇεˇ๑)•*¨*•.¸¸♪

~~Yuuka

#21 lyric: 祈誓

Hey buddy! I know I'm really late for my lyric posting every month and I've just missed doing one for July lol. You know what, I'm skipping that one for the mo, since now it's August and I wanted to give you a surprise cos I know you've been feeling down lately with so many things that happened. This is my gift to you once again, for your birthday this year. I hope this would make your special day a lot better even if you can't get your tattoo on time. My lyric for August! In which I tried very hard to get this done as soon as I can since I was occupied for the whole month of July. (^_^;) It may not be the best I've written but it's really fresh from the oven [from my hot fried brain xD] so this is something nice about. haha. All thanks to you mentioning the Kagrra, song where I get my inspiration from. (-^〇^-) May you love this one too~♥

[Inspired by Kagrra, 誓ノ月]


祈誓(キセイ)
The night has come to tell what I was dreaming of
Swaying in a daze where we called fate,
my quivering wish for eternity keeps echoing without rest

If I'm chained to misery, I can never breathe

*The moon is shining brightly as if to say it never wanted farewell
Wouldn't it be great if promise would do the same?

The fragments of my memories may be out of reach
but I'm never going to get it back without you

If I have to be in dismay, I can never soar

*The moon is shining brightly as if to say it never wanted farewell
Wouldn't it be great if promise would do the same?

As we keep love in our hands,
even in the freezing night
the warmth will keep us alive

Even as I cry,
I'll pause and let you lay by my side

*The moon is shining brightly as if to say it will never invite farewell
Just like the promise we hold so true together

~~~~~
I'm very happy I can write this beautiful song for you. I never noticed Chikai no tsuki that much initially since I find it kinda noisy, but you made me love it this time.

You know you meant a lot to me too.

Happy birthday my dear Snolax Shua! (u_u)。。。zzzZZ

#19 lyric: 望

Here comes my lyric meant for May! Gosh, it took me long enough to get this posted. But yeah as you know, I haven't been able to write a thing since May actually. And just nice on this beautiful Sunday I was able to write something that flows nicely like my favourite song of all time since no one's around to disturb me. What a rare chance lol. I know on one hand I was worried if I will ruin my top favourite Kagrra, song but I think I should just write it with all my heart, with the peace inside me. I will do the best that I can and not hesitate too much or else how will I ever get it done at any time. haha. Yeah, I managed to do this now, but I'm still left with 7 more lyrics to go where I haven't yet decided which and what to post. (>_<)

A really short one this time and the arrangement is also the same as Omou. I wonder why I ended up doing this for my songs in May. (^_^;)

[Inspired by Kagrra, 憶]

望（ぼう） Moon/Aspiration
The moon that represents the remembrance of my heart

Where thoughts are mindless, they keep pouring like rain
With the existence of no beginning and no end,
I'm drifting along like roaming river

*The moon that represents the remembrance of my heart
returning my faith to me that was long forgotten

Waves sweeping away imprints of sand
returning all things into ashes
Even memories will have to say goodbye

*The moon that represents the remembrance of my heart
returning my faith to me that was long forgotten

Feelings of eternity,
hold back time like it should

*The moon that represents the remembrance of my heart
returning my faith to me that was long forgotten

Drifting flowers like snow

~~~~~
I hope you are here to see,  

what I have written with you in mind. 

~~Yuuka 

My Gratitude list

June has came so quickly somehow I feel that I have no chance to take things slow and breathe! There are times earlier on before this month that made me feel horrible about my life, getting sick of things around me, lacking in motivation and feeling down for no reason... I really don't understand why am I here, what purpose do I serve having to do tons of stuffs, having all sorts of things weighing on me. Why should I be here to fulfill the obligations for others but not myself? What is life exactly about? I can't helped but to have such questions sometimes. Although I don't have all the answers yet, but I do think there is a need to make myself feel better while searching for them.

So here I am gonna list down things that I am grateful for so as to remind myself to be happy and that I shouldn't be feeling bad and complain so much. But complaining do make me feel better sometimes lol. If I were to keep everything in my heart I'm sure I would have long exploded. Writing is my escape so I feel better when I get to say things out of my heart. Oh wells, I'll also try to say more positive stuffs when I can~ (^_^;)

Things that I am grateful for: 
✦ being in good health, that I can breathe properly
✦ have the money to buy little things I want after a day's work as a reward
✦ have friends whom I can depend on and talk with a lot
✦ free to believe in what I want
✦ I could rest and plan my weekends
✦ mistakes that made me learn *cringe*
✦ living in a home, even without much privacy
✦ books that taught me so much
✦ kindness from strangers who helped me when I need
✦ Tears that made me know what sadness is, and that's how I learn how to treasure things
✦ Aging (whether with wrinkles), I feel a year wiser
✦ able to see and appreciate what's before me, the beauty of this world
✦ Food readily on my table
✦ having a job although I don't like it. My eyesight is getting worse now (I can feel it) but I'm exposed to people and still learning
✦ listen to my favourite rock music that enhance my mood
✦ blanket and jackets that always keep me warm
✦ the existence of isshi-sama whom gave me the strength and encourage me to dream♥

Although Isshi is my regret for not cherishing Kagrra more often back then, he is something that I'm thankful for to get back myself again.

Thank you my Isshi-sama. Thank you for everything. I'm grateful that I came across you and be myself. And thank you everything on this Earth for having me even though I did so little. Thank you for showing me what life is.


 ♥(✿ฺ´∀`✿ฺ)ﾉ ✿ฺ･:*:･どうも有り難うございます。･:*:･✿ฺ~

#18 lyric: 春風

I must mention how much this mean to me!! Finally I'm able to write my kind of spring song just like my favourite Kagrra, happy song! So it took me a year to be able to write as I wanted. lol. Well then, it's not too bad cos at least I managed to do it, although I keep wondering when can I. Inspiration is quite a nasty thing. Lots of things can be going inside my head but the right kind of flow may not be there. I'm really happy that I'm able to release this at the right time, since it's still spring in Japan right? I hope the feeling is there~ it should be!

[Inspired by Kagrra, 春麗ら]

春風（はるかぜ） Spring breeze
In this long awaited spring,
I came to receive you with a lonely heart

Peaceful flowers softly let out a sigh I didn't notice
Regretfully, it took me long enough to understand
what is most precious to me

Beneath the emptiness of my heart,
I have to cry sometimes
as exhaustion is draining my happiness

*In this long awaited spring,
I get to see your smile once again
diminishing my despairing thoughts
As what my dream has told me,
nothing would be as fearful as giving up
For that, I won't keep my wings away again

Your spirit that began to thrive in me
calmly reaching to the deepest guilt I can never get rid of
How long will everything last?
Regretfully, I leave a tear like yesterday

*In this long awaited spring,
I get to see your smile once again
diminishing my despairing thoughts
As what my dream has told me,
nothing would be as fearful as giving up
For that, I won't keep my wings away again

As aspiration filled up my heart
comforting me as though it were to be you
I let out a smile I'm sure you would like to see

*In this long awaited spring,
I get to see your smile once again
diminishing my despairing thoughts
As what my dream has told me,
nothing would be as fearful as giving up
For that, I won't keep my wings away again

"Hug me just like the wind"
as the spring says...

~~~~~
I'm very much trying to have the arrangement the same as Haru Urara and have the same set of chorus repeated. lol. 

As far as this goes, this is the kind of positivity that I can come up with. 

The kind of beauty and happiness that Isshi has given me, that I can be able to possess them. 

I won't keep my wings away again.

~~Yuuka

Merry Xmas and to the new year~~!

Ahhh chooooooo!!!!! I woke up today with a flu and a really dry throat! I'm not sure what causes it though. I had Onigiri and one small sushi for dinner, along with my choco soymilk. I didn't expect to fall sick the next day. I had so much rest yesterday I'm supposed to be feeling really awesome. But why now...? Argh see this is how annoying my body is. I'll never understand it. But nevertheless, Xmas was fun! I'm glad I can do useful shopping on the eve and then eat so much like a glutton on Xmas day. haha. But I spent a lot indeed. Hope it's all worth so long as I'm happy. I feel as though I haven't done something like that for a long time! December is really the best month of the year. lol.

Now I hope my New year's eve will turn out nice too. (^_^;)

Some of the things I got for myself~ I wanted to get another CC cream to try and bought this one because it was on sale. lol. It's really cheap but it felt quite oily like the Revlon one that I've used and regretted the last time. It wasn't that bad though, but not something that I would like. I felt relieved that I got it at a cheaper price rather than at usual price. This brand has already made me think that their cosmetics [BB and CC cream] just doesn't make the mark but their skincare is probably better. I felt the same towards all the Korean products that I've used. Conclusion: Their skincare is better than their cosmetics products. Just splurge on skincare and you'll be safe. lol.

I got this limited edition blush cos I just feel like getting a second one! I think the color doesn't show that obvious like the Daiso blush I had earlier. It probably has more shimmer than color. But I'm still happy. =) Maybe cos it makes me look younger! Yeah, totally reminds me of the comment I left at Felicia's channel. xD

Some last minute shopping I did on Wednesday!! I'm glad it was useful. It wasn't something I've planned at all. lol. Managed to give bracelet, card and that chocolate I've packed to my fren I'm going out with for the first time as a little gift for Xmas. Happy to hear that I'm a thoughtful person. hahaha. I am indeed! (*^◯^*) I like to give handwritten cards to my frens. Makes my gift looks sincere and I could decorate with stickers and stamps and use my color pens! Why but not many people like to do such these days. This is fun to me too. haha. 


And for my serious resolution next year, I bought this hair tonic!! Since my fren recommended that this brand products is really good. I've already started using my hair mask yesterday and the smell is great! For the first time I can have sweet smelling hair the entire day till the next!! lol. Anyway I shall begin my hair treatment next week. Hope it turns out good. I will take better care of my body and not be lazy and undetermined like before. Oops. (；´Д｀)

Yeah lastly, is the Japanese books I bought from a fren months ago!! I need to get myself into it once again. Studying Japanese using Japanese is kinda tough, but I think I'll manage to get it anyway. This level is no joke! Without a Sensei it'll probably be harder for me but I believe I can!! For the sake of myself and isshi-sama, I will definitely master Japanese well. That's what I wanted to do most!! I need to carry on his legacy of lyric writing. I've already regarded this as my calling. Probably sounded too exaggerated but it's something that made me so proud and satisfied for doing this while I'm alive. I felt the need to do something like this to make me feel there's such a great purpose in my life, and I believe so. Isshi shall be proud too. =)

2016 please welcome me with happy open arms!! 

then I'll be ready to go! ─=≡Σ((( つ•̀ω•́)つ

Happy birthday isshi-sama♪ ~ 07 Dec 2015

It's a special day once more that we would never ever forget.

I was at work though, and it was kinda okay for that day. I believe that every year on this day turns out to be kinda good. To me it has to be great even though it's just another ordinary day where nothing much happens. lol.

I retweeted quite a lot of Japanese fans' tweets to isshi. It's the usual that I would do, and also tweeted one myself. My Japanese got a little bad since I didn't use it as often as last year, so I haven't been able to chat with those Japanese fans.  (,_,) And I can't really think of what I wanted to say to isshi in Japanese. How horrid is this! I felt so uneasy and guilty now. lol

Glad that I'm getting likes for such a tweet. hehe. 


One of the best thing, Nao wishes Isshi like he did before, with a picture of the sky.

I'm wondering the same, has our voices and thoughts reached to isshi-sama up in the sky? Oh yeah, I remembered it was a sunny day that day. Glad that the weather is also good in Japan. (^_^)

Ah, Nao actually had alcohol! But I didn't!! lol. I intend to buy half a dozen or a dozen for myself and just store them somewhere so I can drink them when I wished. A can of beer is not enough for me usually, but then is it bad of me to go ahead and buy so much? haha. I drank them alone for the most time and no one's gonna judge me or see my drunk face. I pretty much like it this way. I shall just be happy by myself, where there's no one who understands my feelings. I will also just be sad by myself, since I'm already so used to being alone. I just don't feel bothering anyone anymore. (x_x)

That goes to someone being so moody this week. ~( ´•︵•` )~

Please let me gain back my strength again.


Nao's tweet translation @ 鬼雀の音情

14th lyric release - 恋心

I've been wanting to write some sort of love song for some time, and just nice this would be a beautiful piece as my present to isshi, since I can get this song done before his birthday!! I wanted to do a happy song but it just doesn't come out from me naturally, after all lol. But anyway, I should probably do whatever I can when inspiration comes. I'm glad I'm able to get this done as what I've mentioned last month. I wanna have a nice song as the end to this year's lyric project as well as something I can feel happy about for giving it to isshi. Well December just has to be the best time of the year I supposed? Haha. At least this is what I can do best. I hope isshi receives my present with love too, although there's no Japanese here for him to see now. This song shall represent my blog, since I got inspired by the song as my blog title. Finally I feel there's even more meaning to my lyric work now. (*'▽'*) I hope that isshi feels it as much as I do. This is the love I have for him.♥

[Inspired by Kagrra, 戀]

恋心(こいごころ)
My heart got captured along the path where the moonlight shines
Longing and waiting for no return
I endure my tears from falling

If I look back at those days with a heavy heart,
I'm with you once more

*Your dream echoes in my memories
filling everything with colors
Unaware of the pain I was carrying,
my scar has changed into a smile

The flowers that have bloomed later than usual
has filled me with anticipation
wiping the misery I once have

If I burned my past away,
am I sending them to you instead

Even when the sky changes and my footsteps came to a stop,
you always remained where you are
with the smile that I can't bid goodbye

*Your dream continues to echo in my memories
filling everything with colors
Unaware of the pain I was carrying,
my scar has changed into a smile

Even if I close my eyes,
I'll never have to cry again

Even now~~

~~~~~
Happy birthday my isshi-sama. I'm sure this is the love you have given me.

May our love continue like this, and with your dream in me. 

I'm sure you are here as always.

With neverending love,

~~Yuuka

Revive memories: Isshi & me

I guess I should start doing a series of such post so that it'll be easier for me to look back at these precious memories again. I kinda regret that I posted the pictures all to twitter only. Especially for those Kagrra no Su episodes that I've watched. I thought it would be nice to just post them at twitter while watching and so that's about it. But to find them back is such a hassle! Somehow I just wanna look at them all again and get back those feelings. Plus, they are my hard work after all! Screenshots aren't that easy. It always took me lots of time and patience to get that right moment captured. lol.

Anyway, this one is something I didn't ever wanna post back then. I don't feel like showing the world or to anyone how I look like. Not as if anyone cares either I think. haha. But this one I tweeted back in last year after watching Kagrra, no Su which so coincidentally I was wearing black and white that day too. Btw, I don't usually wear these 2 colours cos I don't like them. So it was kinda rare to see me in this. lol. Hence this one is really a precious moment!!

I do match with isshi right? We both have long hair too. hahaha.


Thanks lots to my buddy for finding this back for me!! It saved me since that's the only pic of me and isshi. (´へεへ`*) Let's see this in full original!!!

I'm so gonna find back that episode 61 pictures and blog it when I can!! The hard work is gonna be worth it! (-｡-;


Pray that I have all the patience again. But you bet I have for your sake! (・_・)

Isshi and Coach!

I'm so glad my dear buddy upload this video of isshi, which is something related to his Onkai Isshi Mimibukuro book. Damn, I actually didn't know there's a DVD of it. I'm really happy that I can watch it although I thought it's scary at first. Lol. 

It's actually that long ago in 2009~~

Look my isshi-sama is so cool when he strikes a pose. =D







Actually I think it's the second part of the video that is kinda scary. It was at night when they went inside the haunted building and look around. But Isshi's coach left first in which I don't get why? There are strange noises that came when they were filming and even leaving the cam there while there's no one around. I don't know what to make out of this. It's kinda common to hear noises I supposed. But what's the use of investigating this? To prove their existence? We do know they exist! No one wants to see any scary images or anything and what can you do about them if they attack but yet you can't see those? And it's in the dark! What's the purpose and conclusion of such an activity? (-｡-;

I'm not complaining about my isshi but I don't understand why there are those who made videos about going to haunted house think it's fun and became so terrified in the end like in some shows that I've seen. You could have expected it isn't it? I don't know if I should cry or what but anything horror like that I'll just be away then. Stay away from me. lol.


Anyway, this video reminds me of Coach. I know about him when I read that translation of isshi's Onkai book. In fact, I'm not that happy at some comments the Coach wrote in the book, but anyway he seemed to be close and good to Isshi so I can ignore that. haha. I used to talked to him at twitter messages. I'm looking back at those now to realise that those took place in March!
Here's how it happened: I followed him first on twitter [have no idea how I came across his twitter account but somehow I did] and he followed back. I thought that's about it. Will I tweet anything to him? I'm actually not even sure if it's the real Isshi's Coach that I'm following but I supposed so. (^_^);

It was when not long after he followed me back he sent me a pic of him and isshi through the messages!!

And there I plucked up my best courage to message him all in Japanese, hoping he would understand. But of course he did. I can understand him too. lol.

He was saying I shouldn't mind too much since he still can understand what I'm saying. I'm asking him to come to Singapore cos there's lots of different types of food that he can eat, and he might like them. And my wish is to go to Japan and also visit Isshi's hometown.

What brightens me up from Coach is that when I tell him I don't wanna let isshi down so I'll try my best to learn my Japanese well, he said "Isshi's a gentle person, he won't be disappointed. And that's because I said this as his Sensei, so it has to be true! Please work hard on your Japanese!"


That was the most touching thing I've ever read that day that I teared...(┯_┯) I can feel that he knows, and isshi knows too...

It's been a struggle for me to self study it throughout the years. And recently I have to leave my time for my accounting studies so I haven't got much time to focus on my Jap again. And there I also wanna have time for inspiration so that I can do my lyric writing well.. and........

there's just so much that I wanna do!! (ーー゛)


But of course, now that I have just looked back on those messages they made me think back again. I'd probably have to squeeze in time for my Jap. I might tire myself even more but to read back such a thing always tells me not to lose the motivation and get back to work on it well. I still remember one of my wishes too, and that is to translated all my works into Japanese, or even write directly in Japanese in the future. Now I really wished I have all the time in the world to focus on Kagrra, and my interest. I just wanna lead a simple life without those stress.

I shall keep reminding myself and not forget, right? → I'm a confident dreamer~~


Maybe life is only a little tough for me right now, but I just have to hang on until I see the light. 

Bless me! 

My impossible ambition

This probably sounds absurd but I have different dreams of what I wanna be at different stage of my life. And now, probably due to watching too much anime, I certainly wanna be a 死神 Shinigami.

I know I'm probably getting dark on this topic.. why am I mentioning death so often?? Is it not a good thing right? But I just can't help it sometimes. Since my love Isshi's gone... I have whole lot of stupid stuffs in my mind. (┯_┯) 

Anyway my top favourite movie is Deathnote and my favourite old-time anime is Bleach. I can still remember how I amazed I was with that anime when I first watched it. And I even introduce it to my friend who watched it at a faster pace than me...but I eventually gave up on it since the story gets draggy and there're far too many episodes to catch up on. I realised I don't have the patience to watch animes that runs over a hundred episodes I feel that they're trying to kill me instead. lol.

By the way, having been watching quite a bit of anime this year, I realised that I got affected really easily by the plot.. I can get so depressed for days or weeks when the scene is so sad. I don't know what's got into me how can I let my emotions rule over me so much?! I think I really need to learn how to control over this. I wonder should I attempt to really stop anime for a while so that I'll not get all too sad. Morever I have to get prepared for the exams I've better to get my emotions at check. lol.

Well having said that much, all I wished for the most is that when it's time for me to go to the other world, I was already ready and get to see isshi and have endless chats with him, and time doesn't end in that world at all..

It has to happen right? 

even if it's in my dreams...

It's Kagrra, time! Or maybe just Urei time~~

This holiday I wanted to watch those Kagrra, VCDs that my friend has lent to me few months back..Gosh I have been dragging it for quite some time. I've always ended up doing things that my mood leads me to. I wasn't really concentrating nor going to watch all the videos in full cos I think I won't have all the time to enjoy everything. xD  I do went to click on every video and briefly see what are those, and there are some Kagrra, no Su episodes that I've already watched before! Wow those bring back memories where I can watch them for as long as I can since I was really kinda free back then as a student. (≧▽≦) I had a few laughs while watching those bits, especially the Orange juice competition which I love most! Well then, I have to leave them aside and re-watch them since I've been lagging in all the things that I have to do, plus I need to have enough rest. And so, I'll just post some screencaps of those I've seen today. Hopefully this will tempt me to watch them sometime again soon. lol.

 The gold fan looks very cool!!

I remember coming across this picture of Isshi holding the calligraphy he wrote I supposed. The four Kanji words are shown in full and not like this one in the video. I wonder where is it?? Why don't they show the photos in the video too?  It feels a little incomplete to post that picture although my isshi's face is clearly seen. lol~

Have seen one vid mentioning about Kagrra,'s major debut on 2004 1st January, and what comes to mind is definitely the song 愁 Urei.[Since it's their debut song anyway]

It means Grief, but the feel from it is more like a love song to me. I love Urei so much that I can't remember is it cos of me watching so many Kagrra, lives back then or that it's cos of 沙羅～懐かしの楽園～ Sara~Natsukashi No Rakuen Live Year 2005 cos that image of isshi-sama singing that song just comes to my mind. ｖ（=＾0＾=）ｖ  It's also the only pv that has English words flashing which is what makes it special too.  And I simply love the last line too much. ♥

"貴女が居て~ You are still here"

Because of my love for this song, I have always wanted to write something like Urei too. It's really too beautiful and I'm kinda stuck now at writing sad dark songs since I wasn't at all happy and into the mood of writing with nice beautiful words. lol. But I know, time will come and allow me to write something similar to this beautiful work of isshi's. It will!! (^o^) It takes time for inspiration to come and I'll just have to be patient, since I've used to forced my inspiration and it didn't end up that nice at all. lol. 

So now let me sink into Isshi's beauty~ (*^◯^*) ♡

This last scene is too beautiful and dreamy for me~~ It's as though isshi is reaching out to me~


Let my mood be beautiful for you too~

For this 18th July...

[Continue from 8th lyric release - Departure]

I was supposed to be blogging about this on Saturday as I planned, since 18 July is such an important day, but I wasn't in quite a good condition. (,_,) Okay, not like I'm totally good now, but at least I felt better even though I couldn't eat much. There goes my public holiday on Friday too. I've spent these 3 days mainly sleeping the whole afternoon cos I felt so unwell. And the weather was horribly hot!! I'm pretty sure I've lost weight over the months, I must have looked kinda bad. lol. And with some sad thoughts on missing isshi, I really wished I could just sleep and meet him in my dreams and forget all about this world.

I actually felt so sad. (┯_┯)

Now my head hurts a lot too. Maybe I'm partially sick, for whatever reason. My July probably ended up as a little empty compared to last year's. Should I really mind that much? I've been bothered with too many things I've already felt restless. I really wished I need not care about anything anymore. Maybe no one else cares too..


Argh, maybe I should shut myself away from those thoughts and get my strength back again. Why am I so down. ( ´•︵•` ) Can somebody stop me??


The thing I wanted to mention today is Nao's tweet on isshi's death anniversary:

Just like last year, the sky was cloudy and rainy in Japan too!! What a coincidence. Maybe that's the sign for us by Isshi. haha.

Nao is always so sweet to remember this day. How I wished I could be drinking too if I weren't that sick. =(



Still feeling a little vexed that I didn't get to watch some Kagrra, vids that I planned initially.
I hope August would be a better month for me to come up with some time for those, and I won't be as tired as now. I really wanted a long holiday of my own, to somewhere without any disruption and noise. Can I be allowed to do this....? Can anyone understand me?

Let me be a step closer to Isshi..

8th lyric release - Departure

It's the 4th death anniversary of our isshi-sama. I have never ever forget any date that relates to our dearest Kagrra, and especially this day. I've wrote a sad death song while listening to some sad songs just last month...and somehow it was probably meant for this day... although I didn't write it initially with such a purpose. But when my sad feelings came, it's just naturally I will write in that way. I don't know if my tears will fall uncontrollably if I were to read my lyrics on any other day or when I miss him. I don't want it to happen though. Maybe it's my lyrics that showed too much emotion I should probably not read, but just write.

But well...if it's for Isshi, I shouldn't be feeling all that sad anymore.

July 18th shall be a bright day for me to feel thankful for. At least I could write such things, with isshi in mind...

Hopefully Isshi is also feeling happy and all well in the other world... (￣･ω･￣)

[Inspired by XJapan Tears]

Departure
How can I put up a smile on my face again
when there is no one else to see
Even if I'm always here

*The dark sky where I want to soar above
If I were to turn to ashes,
will you cry for me?

Led by the stranger in my dream,
I only want to be taken away

Tell me how can I dream again
when you're being away from me
Even if I kept loneliness away

*The very same place that represents our pledge of love
If I'm gonna fly with the wind,
will you still cry for me?

Am I still hearing your whispers
and feeling your endless tears

While I'm flapping my wings and fading into the light,
let my worries be dissolved by our everlasting love.

~~~~~
This day when I'm missing isshi even more...

A teary song. But I'll not cry anymore.

It's already something that I have to be happy of.

~~Yuuka

I want to be inspired, and constantly be writing...

Wow six months is almost over.. and somehow I feel like I've really begin my journey just this year. lol.

I don't know what sums up as the best for me, but I'm pretty much happy to do what I can do thus far. ^_^

I really feel I'm on a steady pace now and so I just feel like writing this...

I have dreams that I couldn't accomplish yet.  There are things I want and yet they are far from reach. There are so many that I have to consider. And probably that's what that is pushing me forward.

I'm glad I can be able to get a good job and be loved by my friends. Everyone is telling me I'm so much of a cheerful person than before. Although at times I do hear the words "You've changed.", I supposed that they said with a good meaning and this was a good thing.  (≧▽≦)

Yet somehow, I'm afraid how would everyone thinks when they know the real me. It's quite a pain to hide, yet I don't want to show my true self so easily. I just hate being judged. Sometimes I'll rather this world to be less complicated and I need not know so much. ~( ´•︵•` )~

I know I've experienced much emotional changes over this period of time and especially since last year I think. But that's what the world has to be, putting you through and to make you grow. And so you have to find something that drives you forward and make you be able to cherish the good ones better and become stronger. Since I had that, I'm more than happy enough with how my life is now and being thankful that I can breathe well and also pursue my interest at my own time. Something that I would not have been able to imagine in the past. I'm really a fortunate person. And that I can sleep well at night, is the best thing ever too. (´ー`)☆

In order to get motivated and be doing something, I made myself watch shows/dramas/animes, and so it's not plainly for me to relax. In fact, sometimes the topic and content would be turning round and round in my head, and which I hope I can get them as inspiration for my writing. Or even do or buy the things I want. haha. What a torture. xD  All along when I was young, I watch shows so that my mind can get to rest, cos I won't be thinking of anything only when I'm looking at a screen. Well but now it's a different story. How is that I grow out of it suddenly? lol. But indeed, sometimes my mind just gets so occupied and I won't be able to get enough rest. Somehow I wish I can control this well. haha.

So far up till now, I've completed 16 shows [animes including OVA +dramas] and I considered this quite a bit of achievement since I made myself to listen to more Japanese I can be able to catch some words better than before, and there are always new things for me to learn from. It's quite a good way, especially you're focused on watching and repeat after what the characters are saying. I find this helpful. =)

I wonder why some people can write so often every single day. How is it that there's so many things that can come out from your brain all the time? I can't do so and I have to see my mood and inspiration for the day, before I can write well enough. I do hope I can progress from writing lyrics to writing fiction perhaps, although I'm not sure if I'm good enough and describing things well. I hope language wise mine will improve cos of that and also not to forget my Japanese! I might be learning at a slower pace now since I have other commitments, but I'll never stop. One day I shall make myself able to write my lyrics directly in Japanese. I'll never forget this dream of mine that I wanted to do so, being proficient enough for isshi's sake is definitely the reason, for him and for myself. (*´︶`*)

Now whenever I'm feeling down, I will tell myself 'no problem, isshi knows this. Hang on just a little more.' I know it every time I see his photo on my phone lock screen, and so it made me calm down much more. I'm glad how this can make me feel better, and I'm able to get myself back up again.

And since I've did my best all the while, there won't be any regrets.

Everyone is happy with me and love me I'm really blessed.

I shall not keep envying people and wonder why I can't be like them. I shall let them be my source of motivation instead. And be satisfied with who I am. Who knows there might be people envying me instead. lol.


Well life will go on good when you're strong. And then you'll get to see the light.


May the force be with you..

May isshi always be with me..♡

Success is...

So it's been a year since my Happiness post. Here I am blogging about the 2nd part of it.  （＾∇＾）

✦ Complete my targeted number of lyric writing that I'm so proud of to show♪
✦ Translate magazine interviews
✦ When my friends told me that I'm great and they love me
✦ Learnt a song fully - understand the lyrics and able to sing well
✦ Complete an anime with interesting storyline that inspires me and made me improve my Japanese
✦ When my friends gives me an assurance about me as person, how much I joy I can bring to them
✦ Completed a course of study without knowing how I pull through. xD
✦ Read a book that allows me to gain knowledge and become better although the next moment I'll forget what I've read. xD 
✦ How my positivity can influence others~
✦ Able to realize my dreams, bit by bit..
✦ Cook a satisfying meal perhaps.
✦ Treasure every moment and believed it happened ♥
✦ Being appreciated and feel important to be in someone's life.
✦ Having a goal all the time and be motivated
✦ Putting a smile on your face ^_^

Coincidentally, I'm able to come up with exactly 15 points just like my Happiness post! (*^◯^*) ♡


Well, even a little achievement will make me happy. Cos this is how life should be.  


Definitely something isshi will always be proud of to see, from me.  (*˘︶˘*).｡.:*♡

I'm a confident dreamer~~

Yeah I'm so happy that Michelle Phan actually replied me last night when it was just a random thought that I have after watching her video. It was interesting for Michelle to use horoscopes as the idea for some fun and a little makeup tutorial. I like the temporary tattoo and the shoes they decorated them! It made me have a sudden urge to do that to my shoes too. It's cool that you can make them unique, and to receive compliments for such. (≧▽≦) Let's see if I'm able to do anything like that. haha.

And from now on, I'm gonna call myself a dreamer. hehe.  （＾∇＾）

I just made myself recall this post Swoozie replied my comment and even favourited my tweet while I'm blogging now. Yeah so coincidentally I was about to talk about the topic on self confidence, again. Lol.

I have been thinking lately, that I do need confidence and cos this is what most people expects out of me. While they have confidence in me, I don't really have the same amount that they have of me. Just how much confidence do I need to be okay? And how can I secure that?

But really, low confidence that I have in myself seems to spoil things for me. lol. It seems that most people wants me to appear like that so that they can rest assured of the things that they put me in charge with. Of course I am someone dependable and I keep my words. But just that I'm worried that if I'm not up to the job or at their expectations and letting the people around me disappointed is something I hate to happen. So that's why, I have been trying hard to see how can I change that. Most probably is my way of thinking then.

Well of course not that I wanna fake the confidence cos that's what they want out of me. I do need confidence so that I can perform well too. If I think I can't, most probably I really can't since I would be worrying so much already. [Stop the 'What if' questions!] I really can't deny myself, anything of myself cos this makes things worse isn't it?

And so, I have to be very sure of myself. That's what I've concluded that I should be after reading a little about self confidence. I guess the best way is to work hard and be knowledgeable [after all]. Of course, this also includes being a positive person. Not afraid of anything, not undervaluing your capabilities, and having the strong sense of belief in yourself.

Confident people has the power to influence people too. I always hope that I can attain that. The idea seems far, but the fact that I can inspire some of my friends is something I feel proud too. I didn't expect/think that I can have a positive impact on anyone, but since that happens, it feels really good. I feel so worthy. Lol.


Therefore I probably have to consistently tell myself that "I'm really a worthy person. I am talented and capable like what most people think of me."  (-^〇^-) Cos that would make me achieve and succeed in the things that I wanted to do.  Yeah, that's it! Stop thinking and worrying too much!!


Well then, I also hope that I can be in an environment where it forces me to be strong, and as a result be confident. It sounded kinda tough, but let's see if that could happen... Now I just need to focus on what I wanted to do. ＼＼\(۶•̀ᴗ•́)۶//／／


The only thing that I don't want is to let anyone down. That's all. 

Even Isshi's coach told me so, that Isshi won't be disappointed in me.

And he won't because he knows that I will work hard. =)

3rd lyric release - 永々 Everlasting

Up till now I was only able to come up with one song inspired by Kagrra, for this year, in which isn't entirely a happy song. I know it's hard for me to force out writing a happy song much that I want to for this Happiness day March 20th. Well, since this day has come I still wanna post a lyric like I wanted to initially. But not the one song I mentioned earlier on... Somehow I didn't have the feelings to post that yet. I just wanna go by my feelings...So I'm gonna post this work of mine I wrote last year, so seemingly written for my isshi-sama. Since I wrote so much with Kagrra, in mind last year.

It's not quite something so sad right? Although it probably is...

I hope he understands my feelings.

永々(えいえい) Everlasting
Every time I look solemnly at your picture
I got reminded of my childish self
The regret builds up, unrelentingly
a tear falls down my cheek
And the sky began to turn cloudy

To this day, I can only say
"Will you ever be back again?"

*The colours of the land keeps changing, while life continues to revolve
Your smile stays, wrapping me with gentleness
My heart won't stop as my dream will never be lost

Every time I look casually at the sky
I recalled the bitterly happiness that you gave
Touched by this everylasting moment
a tear falls down my cheek
And the sky began to be clear

To this day, I will only say
"Will we ever meet again?"

*The colours of the land keeps changing, while life continues to revolve
Your smile stays, wrapping me with gentleness
My heart won't stop as my dream will never be lost

*My hopes will keep building while love continues to grow
Your voice remains, embracing me warmly, tenderly, passionately, that my heart won't stop
won't stop to see your dream for once

To this day, I will only say
"Will we ever meet again?"

~~~~~
Not quite a happy song but still happy that I posted my works once more!

And cos is something of isshi. My words to isshi...

I'm definitely happy. （＾∇＾）

~Yuuka

Kagrra, Yume Izuru Chi making-of

Wanna post something of Kagrra, again. But this is just a short one. A very old vid of Kagrra,.

They actually indicated 煌 Kirameki so u know it's from that album. (・_・)

Making-of vid but they called it otherwise. lol.

With the way isshi dressed like this, he definitely look like an Oni here. lol. Somewhat scary cos it's all in black and white. (x_x)

Still, a lovely smile he gave. ^_^

Argh I do hope there's a long version of this original video. It's kinda too short for me, although at least the background music is still Yume Izuru Chi. I do love the lyrics to this song. But how funny, I remember there was once back then I got mixed up this song Yume Izuru Chi with Urei. But I like Urei more now, after watching Kagrra, lives. And probably cos it's a sad song afterall. lol. Well well...


Anyway, I can't take it. I don't like black and white at all. I have to end with some colours. Here's Kagrra, in wonderful colours. (^o^)

Happy day once more! Don't live a life without colours!(^_-)-☆

Lyrics translation @ demonpassion