Self evaluation: Personality checklist

I was flipping through my files and found this piece of paper around, which was actually part of a notes from school about 10 years ago. lol. Here I am looking at the points again and noticed that I have seen myself differently compared to back then. I feel great to know that I have grown! (≧▽≦) Since I'm trying to know myself better, I guess it would be nice for me to note them on my blog as well. +.*☆( ˘ω˘ )☆*.+

Attributes - Present - (Past) - Thoughts
01. Aggressive → Moderate → (Not very) : How forceful can one be?
02. Ambitious → Not very → (Very) : LOL!!
03. Analytical → Not really → (Not very) : Very much the same 
04. Articulate → Kinda, I think I've improved in some way? → (Moderate) : I didn't think so about my past-self now! I thought I was much worse back then.. O_O
05. Assertive → Not that into it now at work → (Moderate) : Omg. Is this a problem?
06. Cheerful → Yes → (Moderate) : But then I think it depends on who I'm facing.
07. Competitive → NOT AT ALL → (Moderate) : I think in the past I can't bring to see myself lose, especially when it comes to grades.
08. Confident → Oh yes~ Well I'm still working on it though. → Not very: This is true though. My self-esteem was low as a teen. 
09. Conscientious → Yes definitely okay! → (Very) : yeah I still maintain it.
10. Cooperative → Yes! And I like to be guided of what is expected of me and what exactly I should do. → (Moderate) : Just don't make use of me and order me about.
11. Creative → Nope. → (Not very) : Ahhh this is so me. lol. 
12. Dependable → Yes! You can entrust the things to me and I will do it well! That is, of course when it's something that I know of. → (Very) : Anyone who knows me will know me for it hehe. 
13. Efficient → Yes!! → (Moderate) : I wasn't really sure if I really know how to make good use of my time at those times. But homework? I'll sure get them completed on time. 
14. Energetic → I'm even unsure of this now. (・・;) I'm always tired! → (Not very): And since I aged, my body gets even more lethargic if I spend the whole day out. Then I need a day of rest at least to recuperate. 
15. Enthusiastic → Yes but I have more for the things I'm interested in. → (Moderate) : I guess I was even more not so enthusiastic back then since I did little. haha.
16. Friendly → Not so, unless with people I know of. → (Moderate) : I have classmates who said that I am easy to get along with. But as I grow, I don't like to get friendly with anybody else. Who knows what those freaking strangers are up to and whether they are cheats? Don't come too close to me!
17. Industrious → Yeah I am. I always do my best. → (Moderate) : Why did I think that? Oh I was too hardworking at one point and then it drove me nuts so I lax more for the next few years.  Cos I didn't know where I was going and why do I have to work so hard for nothing... 
18. Logical → Coming up with solutions? Not my kind though. → (Not very) : I can't helped it that I'm not a problem solver. It's not as though it's an easy thing, if a solution doesn't work then what's the solution for?  Especially if an unexpected problem strikes when you're unprepared. I think it depends on your flexes how fast you can react with a smart brain, which is what I'm lacking of till now. lol.
19. Loyal → Maybe? haha. → (Not very) : It depends on how happy you are with the environment and the people too. 
20. Optimistic → Yes, better than before. → (Not very) : Because I'm afraid and worry too much about what has yet to come. Life is scary.
21. Persevering → Undaunted by setbacks? Who doesn't? It still depends on what you're facing too. There's also a tolerance limit to how much we can take. → (Moderate) : Ahh this one is true, back then I persevered at my co-curricular activity even when it turned out bad for everyone. Well, when it comes to jobs, it's even tougher to leave and get away when there's more obligations and the need for money.
22. Poised → On the outside, "yeah". On the inside, "damn, what should I do?! This sucks!!" → (Not very) : Yeah right, till now I don't expose certain emotions to people. I will try to make myself look calm before any action. 
23. Precise → Perfection? I'll only do my best. → (Very) : I was too much into perfection back then so I wanted everything to be at it's top best for me. But nope, I'm not going for it now. So long as things are over 80% in proper that's good enough for me. I don't expect so much. 
24. Self controlled → I hardly have any anger shown. Even if I'm angry, I boil inside. lol. Unless it's too much too unreasonable. → (Moderate) : Yeah I haven't show this side of me to others. I wished I can so that people will be afraid of me. HAHAHA 
25. Sincere → Oh yes for sure → (Moderate) :This deepens as I age. hehe. 
26. Tactful → Hmm maybe I am.. → (Not very) : I'm even not good at handling situations when I was younger. lol. 
27. Understanding → yeah I am. But sometimes I wonder what's the point when no one is understanding for me. Life is unfair. → (Moderate) : I need to get a grip of this. Hmph!


Wow what a long list that I've gone through! Look at me now, I'm talking so much lately. I wouldn't even dare to say a thing of my mind as a teen. Sometimes I really hate to think about it, that my past leaves me helpless. But since I got better, I don't hate myself that much anymore.

That's what growing is about, right? =)

Cosmos #08 | Have every reason to be happy!

Yeah I'm probably getting back on track!! For this week especially, my co-workers were commenting that I looked really happy and they thought there might be nice things that happened to me that made me felt that way. And I was told to share good news with them if I have any. LOL. Well, there's nothing more happening these days, I just feel contented with the way things are now. I'm happy with my life. I'm glad that I can enjoy whatever I want at this moment at my own pace. Things have been peaceful and good. And listening to my favourite Kpop group now actually made me happy because of them. Every bit of them. ♥ That's just every reason that I should be happy with. ^_^

I got myself pumped up by doing my colouring which I wanted to complete a page in a long time! I took 2 days over the last weekend to get it done. Strangely, I just have the mood to slowly colour at every detail, but you know such things really require the mood. (・・;) Probably because I have the strong urge to at least complete a page for myself so that I can be proud of it. haha.

Wow really, I felt it was an achievement after I got it done! Since I couldn't draw well, colouring might be the second to it that I can do the most. I felt it was a little pity cos I love to draw when I was little. But I know I didn't have the talent as I grew older. Sometimes I do have the itch to draw my favourite idols in cute anime form but I really lack of the creativity and the skill. I don't know where to start with. I used to try to draw an anime character Cardcaptor Sakura during my tertiary school days. I had the whole picture as a reference. I tried my very best to draw but it looked weird to me and I can't say why. Until I showed to a friend and she told me immediately that I got the proportions wrong. The whole thing was an ugly disaster! I actually ruined it! (;´д｀)

From then on, I think it's best that I'll not draw anymore cos I just don't know how and it might make me even more upset if I didn't get it right. I have thoughts of getting how-to-draw books but I can't make myself go through every steps and be patient with it. [The thought of having to spend hours at drawing turns me off. lol.] Well it's not as if I have to be good at it, so it didn't mattered to me that I didn't carry on anymore. I just don't feel like wasting my time on something that I know for sure that I won't excel in it no matter what. Artists themselves are people who really know how to draw without being taught! All they need is just a pen and paper and they can draw perfect lines and shapes. BUT I CAN'T. I need all sorts of tools like ruler, flexible ruler and pencil so that I can keep erasing any off points but artists don't need to! Maybe practice does help but I don't have what it takes. lol. Patience and mood for art is what I'm lacking. But one thing for sure, I do know how to appreciate art for all the effort. ╰(*´︶`*)╯

Whatever with this childhood dream of mine being an artist, I don't care about it anymore. Colouring attracts me better since I don't have to think so much and be mindful with proportions. All I have to do is filling in with colours! Such an easy tasks which relives my stress as well. Haha. Anyway I noticed adult colouring fad may seem to die down a little down and calligraphy seems to be the new thing. Those brush pens does capture my eyes too! Especially with so many colours!! Well I didn't say I'm into it now since I'm a lagger. But I think I'm more interested in Chinese words than English words for now. All the strokes are gonna confuse my mind. So yeah, not at this moment as I need to let my mind off not thinking about anything difficult. lol. But how, should I even attempt at trying something new?  ^_^;

Okay, as a way to push myself a little further, I decided to name this 'project' as Zekkai [絶界: reference from B-T song] So every time when I accomplish something, I will up myself one level. Then this will make me wanna go ahead to do more and be better! How many levels will there be then? Well, no idea! Maybe it's infinite so that there's always room for me to get better. hahaa. What a way to get myself moving. Since I managed to post a lyric - ONE and done my colouring - TWO, so I'm at Zekkai Stage 2!! YEAH~~ I'm still at such a low stage. (>ω<) Let me complete something else so that I can go stage 3. HAHAHA. (≧▽≦)


Now for a little precious thing I wanna mention. I got this Sensu which is so Kagrra-ish!!! I was so happy yesterday that a little shopping made me so delighted at getting something which is so useful for me now.

LOOK AT IT ISN'T IT BEAUTIFUL?

I can proudly wave this fan about while I'm outside and secretly feeling happy in a sense that I'm showing the world I'm a Kagrra, fan. Well, nobody knows my motive but I don't care!! It's Chikai no Tsuki or Omou or whatever you can think of because of that moon. It's isshi's love to me. ヾ(*´∀｀*)ﾉ ♥♡♥♡

I have the self-love, the thing which I should never forget.

Spark the enthusiasm in me!

Yeah something that I'm happy with is that Aileen has replied to my comments on her videos!! It's very nice to know when my favourite youtuber respond to me. （＾∇＾） I tried doing so for Jenn Im (clothes encounters) a few times but she has never replied to me so I guess probably it's just hard to get noticed by really popular ones like her. Well I expected it but then, whenever I get replies it just made me feel really good that they noticed such a small fry like me haha. I just have this little urge to know whether they have read my comment and acknowledge my little presence of giving them support. (^_^);

Honestly in 2016 I watched almost all the videos Jenn im uploaded during the year [I can't remember if it's from the start of the year or the middle] since she's been actively uploading them and I like to see how her life goes. I'm probably just very envious of how outgoing she is and having such a fulfilling life better than mine and that's why I've been watching them all consistently. I think I was motivated in some way to be like her, which is why I've been actively asking my friends out too. haha. But I've no idea how this year will be like since....as for now I'm not in the mood and condition yet. Well anyway, let's be back to this:

The theme for the year really hasn't come across my mind until I saw Aileen mentioned it. So she made me think about it for a while. I guess for last year's mine would be to 'love myself' and I think I did it since I did pamper myself in some way, especially making trips to the hair salon. hehe. ｖ（=＾0＾=）ｖ

For this year, I want to be more motivated to do all the things I wanted to in my list. Therefore I decided the theme to be: Spark the enthusiasm in me!


That's when I read a blog post and thought that this certainly fits it. You show the enthusiasm when you exude that vibrant energy such as giving tips and not holding back. For promoters this is good since many of us are easily influenced by emotions and not making rational decisions mostly. Although we might ended up with a regret purchase, we will come up with reasons to convince ourselves that there is nothing wrong of us to do so.  Ahh.. so this is about having the emotions.


But of course this resulted in lots of questions that come to my mind now.
How am I going to have the right emotion of enthusiasm to complete all the goals I wanted to? The answer is that I need energy.
But then how do I have the energy? The answer should be that I need sleep. [wikihow says it in Method 3, although I'm mentioning this on purpose among all the methods. hahaha.]

Bravo. I'm doing a self-ask self-answer and I think I got them right. (≧▽≦)

Hey so does this means I have every reason to go sleep and be lazy? xD Well but I'm just joking for now. I need quality sleep, that's the thing. The problem has came back again just before the first day of work this year where I just went over a little time to do my stuffs even though I was really sleepy already. And just because of that, my sleepiness went away so it ended up that I was unable to sleep the whole night. How hateful is this. I thought this sleeping problem should have ended last year since I got better. But it seems like it's hard to resolve it. =( Well because I know it's gonna be hard for me to fall asleep if my sleepiness is over so whenever I feel sleepy I just make myself go to bed. Who knows I have to continue doing that until now?  (,_,)  So you see, sleep is still important to me. I'm trying hard to get really good sleep so that I have enough energy to do what I want when I have enough rest. (T ^ T)

But on one hand, this just boils down to use time effectively. Yet I believe I really need the sleep so that I have the mood and energy. I mean I know myself well cos I have forced myself before to study at a fixed time but it just didn't work. I'm so afraid the sleep problem will haunt me back again. It's really a pain that it continues even till now. Yet now I'm also afraid of feeling empty if I didn't achieve any of those that I wanted to do badly. It's just that.....it's really hard for me to stay energetic most of the time. And that is why I can't balance with having to work and study at the same time. It'll drain too much energy out of me and I feel I will break apart. How I wished I can really venture into another line that doesn't make me feel so tired out like now. (x_x)


Well well well...now that I've rested a bit and able to think clearly, I need music to influence my mood now. Since I've completed my spring cleaning faster than I thought, it's time to do many of those which are as important too.

I need the spark!

Being ready for 2017☆*.+

Reading about this blog post makes me think about my future again. lol.

That blogger did make a good point. It's about appreciating and enjoying how great life is right now, while still yearning for a better future.

But I'm kinda struggling in following exactly how he suggested. As below~:

Ambitious: Being ambitious now to set three goals to achieve what I want in the next three months? [It seemed like completing one in one month but I can't grasp if that time frame is enough for me, cos it's definitely too rushing for me! I wanna take my time at things because I just can't learn that fast anymore (┯_┯)]

Grateful: Three things that I'm grateful every day? That is simple, since I already have a gratitude post. But mainly 3 things everyday would be:
● being in good health
● able to eat what I want
● have my own entertainment - listening to music or watching funny shows to cheer myself up


Which do I lean towards more? Maybe gratitude cos it's easier. lol.

I know previously I struggled with whether to call it resolutions or projects but they meant the same thing to me as they are just things that I've planned to do for the next year [and into the long future] to learn and improve myself. Whatever is it gonna be, I'm gonna call it projects cos it'll sound better that way. Resolutions probably sound a little difficult to take on and they have to last the entire year. Projects are definitely a task to accomplish within a deadline. I don't even know why am I bothering to explain it here. (´-ω-`). But here comes my list and the first three shall be the top three that I wanted to achieve the most!!

1. Release at least 5 lyrics depending on my mood and not in a rush anymore
2. Really set to attain the level of basic Italian and advance Japanese this time
3. Develop a better lifestyle of indoor exercise and doing more walks
4. Have the habit of reading consistently and do my book reviews
5. Learn cooking [on my own] by starting simple
6. Also a little bit of other side entertainment and relaxation like doing my coloring book and perhaps writing short stories
7. Learn a spoken dialect

Omg this list is kind long. And there are unaccomplished ones brought forward from last year: 
✿ Complete my Kagrra quotes page
✿ Read and write more Japanese for this blog!

Struggling on whether to push myself harder or not to stress myself so much. Having a deadline is always good since it's been working for me all along. Maybe I'm a little too fast to fret over this now but before I know it, time could just fly before my eyes before I can be ready for it. Next year I'm gonna spend my time with ONLY people who are WORTH of my time. Sadly, there isn't much. So this is also good, which means I have more time for my projects to be accomplished. I really have to be more determined this time. And slowly, I'll be more certain and firm as to who I am.

Let's do our best!!!

Reflections for 2016☆

Yeah here comes towards the end of this year and I wanted to have an overview of what has happened for this entire year and see how much I've done so far. To be frank I wasn't totally satisfied, and perhaps I think I didn't do as well as much as I wanted to. It could sum up to be a kinda ordinary boring year to go through but if I were to compare to the past years I think this time I did better things for myself. At least I get what I want to do and became more organised now and more certain of myself. This is a pretty good improvement to have, personally. I know I didn't put on much thought on my life and everything throughout all these years, until this year I feel I have to get moving! I'm still learning slowly bit by bit though. And nothing beats having to be contented and also to have goals and improve all the time. That's what I'm gonna do. Noting all of them down feels really good too. That's how things should go for me → always good! ٩(๑´3｀๑)۶

I know I'm kind early for this post but I'm already itching to get this all out. Because December might be the busiest time and it's more like a time for me to start preparing for resolutions and stuffs for next year. So for now, I've done what I could so let's see how much it has been this far:

Fandom
♥ left the fan group and feeling free from being the queen's fan ✓
♥ New group/band that I got introduced to:
♪ Kpop → BTS - Save me
♪ Jrock → Soft Ballet / minus - Sand lowe / No.5
♥ Stop Pause Kagrra for a moment cos I've got into Buck-Tick a lot for my lyrics and so some feeling is missing *guilty*

Leisure
✿ trying to start proper online course for an European language [Dutch at first, then Italian] but then fail to keep up with it. (,_,)  
✿ started colouring to destress but also failed to continue
✿ still learning slowly at my pace for Japanese
♥ done few book reviews which goes good. ✓
♥ lyric writing that is just on time for the month's release. So I didn't get to write a lot but at least I can keep up with it. ✓
♥ still watching animes and doing reviews but really at my pace [only wanna watch quality ones] since I've watched much lesser this time compared to last year.  (ง ˙ω˙)ว
♥ getting better at drinking beer xD 

Best times
♥ accompany my friends to catch pokemons
♥ wore yukata for the first time ✓
♥ visited interesting places like cat cafe and musical box museum for the first time ✓

Lifestyle
♥ implemented Kon Mari method into my life → cleared stuffs, more organised and free ✓
♥ learning to focus on myself more, especially on self-worth. Nothing is bad about being single.✓
✿ thinking about independence...

Skincare
♥ learned to trim my eyebrows on my own ✓
✿ got myself tanned in March cos I have been in the sun for too long [not that I wanted to]
✿ will still have a little hormonal change when the time of the month comes

Haircare
✿ have that 3 strands of white hair still here and getting more forgetful [I always have to write things down] (・_・)
✿ taking good care of my scalp and heading to the salon ✓

School/work
✿ Stop continuing my major → because the whole 6 months of study last year has seriously ruined my sleep and health altogether. I need to adjust them back (´；Д；｀)
✿ ended work late at the start of the year but towards the next half I'm better at managing them and can leave on time
♥ received praises so I'm getting confident at work that I'm careful ✓
✿ waiting for pay raise and rethink about my future there.

Health
✿ having pains at times → probably including heart pains too (,_,)
✿ feeling hungry most of the time and also nausea, stomachache for no reason?
♥ tried and accepted ginger tea in my life! ✓

Feelings
✿ missing Shua since January, and not wanting him to leave at anytime of my life.   (T ^ T)
✿ Experienced mood changes [probably a lot] and struggling to have inspiration for writing
✿ became calm now when faced with something unpleasant and even bumping into bloggers/celebrities
✿ being irritated by people at work and with a particular friend so I'm still struggling on how to deal with people
♥ have learned to feel good and comfortable with myself. Nothing is wrong with me. I am beautiful and great just the way I am. ✓
✿ Probably cried a lot over guys I like secretly (｡-_-｡)


Well then, there's probably quite a good number of ticks up there which I'm satisfied with as being an achievement for me. hehe. But of course, in June there's a few in which I didn't do what I wanted and I don't think I need to mention it here again. (^_^;) Cos anyway, they'll be my resolutions brought forward to next year then! hahaha. ＼(~o~)／ Having been able to put up this much of stuffs I'm really happy to see what I've done and that makes me feel good. Next on to resolutions!! The hard part is to be able to keep up with them to last for the whole year. But nevertheless, I can do it!! I'm excited what next year will bring. (⌒‐⌒)

Let's get ready for the new year soon!

Ending June...

This time I wanna look back at my goals I've set for this year and see how I've progressed. How fast time flies and 6 months have passed! We have another 6 more months to see if I've persevere and reach my goals. Hope I'll manage to complete all of them as much as I want and have to. Just keep swimming~~ lol.

✿ Continue my lyric writing which I love best! → still doing but my inspiration doesn't come as good as before like last year's, so I didn't write a lot.

✿ Doing anime reviews and not get too rushed to complete the series → okay, this one is good. I'm still watching and even catching up with the latest favourite anime of mine. I can do this one yeah!

✿ Complete my Kagrra quotes page → Oh no, I haven't been touching this for a long time! Maybe this might end up as a lifetime goal. lol.

✿ Do a book review to see what I can gain from reading it → yes I've already started on this and it feels good! I do gain a lot and not wasted the space for them in my shelves haha.

✿ Try a new online course to expand my knowledge on the topics I'm really interested in → Oh no, this could be a huge failure!! I was set into learning Dutch with this free online course but not that I would love to learn that language but it was the only one available. (¬_¬) And that whole week made me so so so exhausted as I have to find time after dinner each day to digest what they've taught. But honestly, there's too much to learn for a week and I don't like the way they organised the lesson structure. It was by no means any easy to remember the words. And it's just the introduction (basic) for 3 weeks. How is that possible? Yeah, if only u have all the time in the entire day and you can get to practise as much in the 3 weeks. Otherwise, it's not working for me!!! What have I remembered for just a week of Dutch? [I couldn't even complete the full lesson layout for the week]  NONE! I don't even know how to say good morning or good night in Dutch. I wonder why they don't teach basic daily phrases at the start of the course. It's not helping me at all and,.... I shall learn something else from there maybe? Or I'd rather learn another European language or I shall stick to something I'm already familiar with. lol

✿ Read and write more Japanese for this blog! → Now where is this going? (;・・)

✿ Watch my mood, thoughts, sleep, diet and exercise routine. → I think I talk about this like all the time, but just watch and no suggestions for improvement? Okay, I suggest and improve myself. lol.

✿ Take better care of my hair!! → I'm not sure if it's getting better. The hair tonic took me 3 months to complete all but I didn't get significant hair growth. I'm not sure if I should continue for another 3 months cos this is vexing me. What if it's still the same? I've no confidence it in that it'll work for me. Although a friend recommended that to me, I'm starting to have doubts already. Argh, so I've already stop trying to get a second one. (._.)


Okay, seeing this means I still have a long way to go. (┯_┯) I guess I need to keep reminding myself to do all these that I've always wanted to and not let procrastination pull me down. lol. I must achieve my resolutions by the end of this year! I'll keep swimming~~ xD

Projects/Resolutions for 2016

I probably decided on this a little early since there's more than one week to 2016. lol. But I should really get started on the things that I wanna do!! Although this year 2015 I did achieved some of the things I wanted to do, but it definitely wasn't quite enough isn't it? I believe I have the determination once I set my mind on something. If I didn't really complete something then it must be that I didn't set on doing it. lol. I supposed so that this is the truth since my friend said that I have such qualities like self discipline, and that I will do something when I very much want to. But I think I'm still not good enough. I know there's still so many things that I have to learn and improve. I'm just not good at seeing the problem I have sometimes.  But the more I know, the more I feel sad. It's just cruel that we can't live as simple anymore right? As you know, my mind has gotten more complicated than before. I got very unhappy when someone misunderstands me or reply in a matter which seemed rude to me. I've got really sensitive. And then I start to hate everything that is going on. ╭( ๐_๐)╮

Oh gosh,...am I diverting the topic away to something else not related to this. lol.

Let's see for next year:
✿ Continue my lyric writing which I love best!
✿ Doing anime reviews and not get too rushed to complete the series
✿ Complete my Kagrra quotes page
✿ Do a book review to see what I can gain from reading it
✿ Try a new online course to expand my knowledge on the topics I'm really interested in
✿ Read and write more Japanese for this blog!
✿ Watch my mood, thoughts, sleep, diet and exercise routine.
✿ Take better care of my hair!!

I have to be really determined on the last one. Cos I keep hearing the same thing repeatedly from different hair dressers who told me that I have oily scalp and dry hair, and they are weak and I have less hair. I felt I've been nagged for not taking good care of them properly. lol. I know I'm responsible for them but I just wasn't into it. But for now, I can sense the danger! ＼（＞０＜）／ I know I have to do something before it's too late.

And this is what I've just bought ~

Noted that I really need to do hair treatment consistently and massage it. Hope my hair condition improves. I will get this started this month. I won't push to 2016 just cos they are my resolution for 2016. lol.


Hair maintenance are costly u know. I need to bear to spend this on myself and think this is worth.

Please persuade me too. (・_・)

Revive memories: Kagrra, no Su episode 63 - New Year's Battle 2009

Ah...I just feel like looking back a little at those tweets that I've posted of Kagrra but not to my blog. This was actually just last year's and it's been so fun to watch them! Well now I'm posting the pictures here mainly but I didn't watch the video in full but only some parts just today. (ｰｰ;) I can still remember this episode as u know because it's too funny especially Akiya's part! This is one of the episodes that I love. haha.

The best thing is to see the members facing the punishment they had lost from the games. xD Shin chose to imitate isshi in the way he sings but isshi doesn't seem too happy to see that. Akiya is laughing out so loud! Lol!! This is something I didn't expect from Shin when I first watched it.

And this one is the funniest thing to me when Akiya tries to introduce himself in English. (≧▽≦)

I still can't forget the "I don't think I pee" part. Omg. xD


Oh back then I didn't know what's this thing called. It's a 剣玉 Kendama, a traditional Japanese toy and you have to let the ball fall into the hole. The craze actually came this year cos there's just many little kids starting to play those just almost everywhere. lol.
It's pretty cool to see all the members able to do so at the first attempt, but it gets hard for the second cos you have to turn it over. I'm so happy that the eventual winner is Isshi~!! haha. He seems to be really good at traditional stuffs!

Seeing isshi spinning a top is funny too! Izumi was saying "That's dangerous!" when Isshi's top flew towards them. lol~ Nao couldn't do it too at 3 attempts. And that was when isshi was given a chance to spin again...

 and he did it!!

This is when he gives such a nice pose. haha.

Since Nao is the loser, he has to wear that ribbon and cat ears hairband and say "Nya~". Omg I was laughing so hard at this along with the members laughter!! He must have felt really embarrassed!! I'm so sorry Nao. U're too funny and cute.  ( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ウァﾊﾊ八八ﾉヽﾉヽﾉヽﾉ


Alrights, I had so much fun tonight with this let me have a good night once more. I shall end my post with this:

Let's laugh more with Kagrra,!!

おやすみ～

Ready for 2016?

It's still November and probably it's still a little early to think about it. But when November just came, I've already felt it's too soon for this year to end. I was too occupied with work and everything else, I wasn't ready for it!

Yet I'm still thinking about it. (-_-)

Anyway it's great that I managed to get a planner for free earlier this month!! I'm so glad a customer gave us by mail. There's only one and my admin passed it to me. Hehe. How nice. I feel I was fated to get it too since I wanted one badly. lol.

There's quite a lot of stuff in this planner which is awesome. There are spaces to write for daily plans for each timing after the monthly ones, which is really a lot of space for me to write. lol. Usually a monthly layout would be good enough for me, in which I usually will scribble all over my calendar and filled them with post-it notes cos there's always a change of plans somehow. I'm not sure if I can fully make good use of this new planner of mine for next year but I'm excited cos I have such a good thing I need not search for it anymore!! I've taken a few looks at NBC bookstore and those they sell are so expensive despite that they sell cute ones too. I just can't bear to buy them. (-｡-;
Maybe I do really have to make some changes to my life next year onwards? haha.



Have watched pbunniep's planner vid and she makes me wanna use all my nice colour pens and stickers for my planner too. I wonder if I have the mood to do all those. haha. But it would be a nice thing to do. Just that I'm afraid my enthusiasm will die towards the end of the year out of exhaustion. LOL! Should it be like a diary too? Only with diary I can probably write them nicely with enough patience. (≧▽≦)

Before I start my resolutions for next year, let me look back at what I've done for this year:
[Continue from June post] 
✿ I've got the most number of blog posts ever in my blogging history for the year. lol. I think this is cos I've been doing weekly posts....in which I'm not sure when I've started doing it. (^_^;) But it was fun. I enjoy the fact that I can write more and consistently and not as lazy as before.
✿ Given myself this personal project of watching and reviewing animes and I felt accomplished knowing more stories and listening to Japanese more. I can't say I've improved my Japanese that much cos I'm not able to focus on it since the second half of this year so at least I'm still exposing myself to listen more I guess this is still good hehe.
✿ And of course the best achievement I have now is from my lyric writing and having my buddy liking them a lot. I'm glad I can get support from someone cos it adds on more meaning to my hard work cos I'm not just writing for isshi's sake or myself.  ٩((๑´3｀๑)۶ ♥♥♥
✿ Completed Kagrra, live vids and those are awesome as my beautiful memories. I'm gonna do my series of screencaps to revive those memories again! （＾∇＾）
✿ Changed my twitter handle and blog name so as to remind myself to be more into Japanese. And yeah I've been experiencing quite a bit of changes this year. Now to think of it.. There's already so much things that has happened. lol.
✿ Also, because I'm able to earn money I'm spending more and posting my useless purchases which are usually skincare and cosmetic products in which no one cares about what I'm using anyway. lol. I just feel like noting down whether the things I bought are worth my money that's all. haha.

Oh freak.. anyway it's not that I care about whether I have audience. I blog because I love to write. I need a place to vent out all my thoughts. I need to put them into words. I started because I wanna do what I love, and that makes me happy. I don't need so much attention to feel proud of myself. I'm happy enough cos I have my private space like this. And having my dear Shua around is one of the best things I ever got here. This year has really gotten fulfilling with you around. (^_-)-☆


Thanks man, and let me get ready for 2016 together with you~ 

Revive memories: Kagrra, Live acoustic performance 2002

[Pictures to Auga event 2002 on 14 Oct 2002]

This is one Kagrra live performance that I love so much because it made me feel so calm and good. I really really really like Sakura~saikai no hana~ a lot in this version and for the fact that it's Isshi's favourite song I can only love it more! ♥ I'm so glad that I bought the Sakura album cos this song is in it. Everytime I listen to the album I feel so beautiful~~~ lol. (//∇//)

Izumi seems to be blocked but he's just behind Akiya. I didn't hear much of the drums though. Acoustic versions probably depended on the guitars much more. I'm certainly very impressed with isshi that he has such a good voice at a young age. I wonder if he has taken any vocal lessons before? haha. And of course, the rest of the members are really good at their instruments. What are they actually? Those boys are already born to be so talented!! I've got nothing bad to say about them. They are greater than my expectations. The more I know about Kagrra, the more I love them. And of course, I will strive to be like them in my way. haha .


Like that tree, I'll be with you eternally♪

Isshi will always be with me. ╰(*´︶`*)╯

Revive memories: Isshi & me

I guess I should start doing a series of such post so that it'll be easier for me to look back at these precious memories again. I kinda regret that I posted the pictures all to twitter only. Especially for those Kagrra no Su episodes that I've watched. I thought it would be nice to just post them at twitter while watching and so that's about it. But to find them back is such a hassle! Somehow I just wanna look at them all again and get back those feelings. Plus, they are my hard work after all! Screenshots aren't that easy. It always took me lots of time and patience to get that right moment captured. lol.

Anyway, this one is something I didn't ever wanna post back then. I don't feel like showing the world or to anyone how I look like. Not as if anyone cares either I think. haha. But this one I tweeted back in last year after watching Kagrra, no Su which so coincidentally I was wearing black and white that day too. Btw, I don't usually wear these 2 colours cos I don't like them. So it was kinda rare to see me in this. lol. Hence this one is really a precious moment!!

I do match with isshi right? We both have long hair too. hahaha.


Thanks lots to my buddy for finding this back for me!! It saved me since that's the only pic of me and isshi. (´へεへ`*) Let's see this in full original!!!

I'm so gonna find back that episode 61 pictures and blog it when I can!! The hard work is gonna be worth it! (-｡-;


Pray that I have all the patience again. But you bet I have for your sake! (・_・)

Projects or Resolutions?

I was reading this blogger's post on how resolutions and goals are stupid. Lol. And then somewhat I have an impression of myself used to mentioned about that before, and yes, I managed to dig out the post being for the year of 2013. → Resolutions no more for 2013. I said plans, but I think what I meant was projects too. Haha.

How funny, I actually thought that way, but the next year in 2014 I was back to setting resolutions and goals again. Lol~ Probably I just can't used to not writing stuffs like that. Or maybe cos is isshi's year , I felt the need to have resolutions on what I wanted to do.

I agree that resolutions don't work [really well] but that's because they are too vague! We tend to say what we want to do or achieve, but not on how we are going to achieve it. I think resolutions should be combined with projects, an overall goal being split into mini projects, and thus by the end of the year we'll get what we want isn't it? That's what I'm doing now, and I think it will make me stick to it much better cos I'm able to monitor it. And I think, the largest factor goes to → Timeframe!! Setting a deadline is very important!! It'll certainly push me cos of the urgency. lol.


Anyway, I've always viewed watching anime as a project for me, cos I would love to write my thoughts/review about it after I've completed them. And most importantly my aim is to listen to Japanese and learn new words from it. But since I'm really picky at the storyline, finding new ones to watch is always hard! Lol.

Yes, this means I have to constantly come up with projects!! Let's fix it of a timeframe of a month, which means I should have at least 12 projects a year. Hmm but it now sounds a lot. lol.

So maybe I should not care about the number. Just come up with whatever project that I wanna do, and at the end of the year review it to see how many in total I did. Maybe the number will be a surprise for me? Hahaha.. The things I wanna do might be endless~~

But of course, I won't stop! This is the direction where I wanna go....

Reflection~

2014 is coming to an end! And so I wanna write down all my thoughts for the whole of this year.. It sure has gone by so fast!!


I've looked back at my little diary for the year. Oh my, I didn't update my diary every single day as what I would want to, because most of the time I'll be so tired at the end of the day. And the day seemed as usual with nothing interesting for me to note down [especially during the period when I was working], so I simply left them out. But looking back at those blanks for the day I felt empty now. Lol. I could have wrote something yeah? Even if nothing special has happened. At least I won't make myself feel strange on how that day goes by.. haha.

One thing bad is that I've been sleeping at 2am at the start of this year. And after I've started work, I've to adjust my body clock and that's quite tough at first.  I have to make myself sleep at 11pm so that I could have enough rest and wake up on time, but this also means I won't have enough time to do the things I wanted to do. And also everytime after I got home, I simply do not have the energy to think/study. And I thought it won't be good if I forced myself either, in which is true cos nothing goes inside my head. Now to think of it, it's really bad and I really wanna change this! I didn't make myself study Japanese just as I want to, nor be able to write lyrics...so u see, especially my lyrics I've stopped for about 5 months! It's horrible!! But of course, I do need inspiration so that I can pen down nicely. But I felt that somehow I'm losing touch. And now that I wanna get back to it, I'm cracking my head really hard over how I can get it done like I want to.

Alright, for lyrics wise, quality has got to be the most important. I'll try my best again, since I've pretty much wrote quite a lot this year. But for my Japanese I definitely have to push myself harder!! So that I can successfully write one directly in Japanese! That would be one thing I'm looking forward to so much! (*^◯^*)

I pretty much have had ups and downs this year.  Still can remember the time when I was so sick and sad and lost...But soon after I found my direction, and I've gained a lot afterwards. But I do have many thoughts going through my mind, since many things have happened. lol. I've always feel that I need to tell/remind myself that I have done enough! Don't do too much, cos I'd always cared too much. And in the end, I might hurt myself. I'm glad I did so actually, cos if I really spoke of everything and really go on too far for it, I'll probably be a fool. I looked serious because I had to. Not that I fake it, but I give in to a certain extend.

Argh...why some things have to be so complicated.  (￣^￣)


I've learnt quite a lot really, everytime I thought I was confused and not know what to do, but I actually had the answer in my heart. When you could actually pause and think clearly, or talk to someone who listens to every single bit of your worries, it helps so much! When I've sorted out my thoughts, it feels so much better.  (^｡^) I also believe my hard work pays off for being patient. Hehe.


I've looked through my blog posts and I've seen one thing best is that I blogged so much about Kagrra, especially their concerts! I've actually watched so much this year~!! And because this year is isshi's year!! Many happy events fall on this year~! I'm also glad that I get to know a lot of people this year, and so I've gained a lot from sharing and understanding. I feel really blessed and thankful. And really motivated...There's so much I want to do and contribute. Although there are times where I'm just lazy, but overall I can make myself do the necessary things on time as I've planned. I'm glad that I can be on track of what I wanted to. And is also cos of work I finally know how to get myself do proper time planning. lol. Although at first it was exhausting that every single moment of my time I have things to do and I feel that I have got no time to rest and think properly for myself. All in all, I'm glad I could make myself do so much, I really have the self-discipline yeah?! haha. I'm also glad that I've managed to fulfill my resolutions! I didn't come up with them in vain!!  ｖ（＾＿＾ｖ）

And so, we should always look ahead towards happiness for our life. Everything will come to an end, so don't look back at those unhappy memories no more.


My life will change for the better. Because I have the strength in me.

2015 I'm coming!! Will make my resolutions real soon~!! (^_－)－☆

Resolutions no more for 2013

This year I became a little different. Not that I've changed a lot or anything. just that I didn't come up with resolutions this time. I've been coming up with resolutions every year in fact but I didn't realized all of them. Maybe 1 or 2. I sort of only look through them only at the end of the year. Not tat I keep the promise to myself that I must succeed in completing it. lol. I kinda regret now. Why do I let myself off so easily? Why do I let myself slack than pushing myself to do wat I should do?

I do have some self discipline but somehow it's just a little. And I always let myself slack because I dun wanna make myself too stressed over something that is not of the most important/top priority.

So have I done the right thing?

Anyway, because of that, I've decided to come up with plans instead. Maybe it's just a change of name, but still I find this better. I tried to write in more detail like how I want to accomplish and within the time frame. And make notes of the things I did for the past week, even if I did a little. At least something right? I guess it's more practical than just say things like 'I wanna get a pass for this module'. And that is it! Didn't write anymore details of how I want to achieve it.  Seriously, I began to wonder what sort of rubbish resolutions am I coming up with in the past just like that! It's simply to vague for such a thing to be realized. Plan should be the way!

And maybe I should have a contract where I signed with myself, and if I break it probably I will have to pay it. Maybe I should get someone to be my witness and pay him/her in the case should I break it. haha. That goes for being serious!!

Well, one week has passed and in fact I didn't countdown with the tv programme like every year, saying 3, 2, 1  HAPPY NEW YEAR and then sleep past 12. This time I really am too tired with work that I slept at 10+pm although there's new year holiday for me. So much of being different this year. In fact, I dun really like making changes only at the new year. But this happens for me again. Well well.  I have some wishes and I hope they'll come true. But I want to believe that if there's any changes that we want to make, we can simply do it anytime instead of only at the start of the year.

and I've started to hate things that are new!! New just means unprepared, not ready, uncertain.  

Why can't I get the old things?!  [I dun care if I sound strange to like old but not new.]

I shall come up with plans from time to time too. =)

Before the end of 2012

Coming to the end of 2012 soon! Oh no, I haven't quite got started to write down my stuffs on my new planner for 2013! And my resolutions! I feel like doing them on the tomorrow afternoon/night when I'm free and maybe just on the first day of 2013 cos it's a public holiday. haha. But tat might be too late!

Well, I'm not gonna sum up my thoughts/happening for 2012 now in this post cos I can't quite think of anything about that. [I still have to look through my past posts!] My computer now has been getting on my nerves it just keeps loading so slowly and even hang whenever I just on it after a while. I have no idea if I should get a new com soon since new ones even hav touch screens which is so awesome but I just dun have plans on tat! My knee problem is on and off sometimes. And I've gained weight for the past months after I've worked!! This few months have been quite a struggle but at least I did something. I may not have lots of time for myself but because this is just a start so there are many things for me to do and learn from. But the future...I dun know if I can see it now. I dun wanna make myself think so much now cos probably it's still early to say about anything. I know I can't change a lot about my life but at least I can think and plan slowly. I dun care when the world's gonna end, but I'm sure the most important thing is to live happily everyday. I've started to understand that. =)

Shall go clean my room too and think about resolutions n plans for the year!

And it's gonna be a year for me to really be mature and responsible and alert.

I will work hard! God bless please. ^_^