Honestly in 2016 I watched almost all the videos Jenn im uploaded during the year [I can't remember if it's from the start of the year or the middle] since she's been actively uploading them and I like to see how her life goes. I'm probably just very envious of how outgoing she is and having such a fulfilling life better than mine and that's why I've been watching them all consistently. I think I was motivated in some way to be like her, which is why I've been actively asking my friends out too. haha. But I've no idea how this year will be like since....as for now I'm not in the mood and condition yet. Well anyway, let's be back to this:
The theme for the year really hasn't come across my mind until I saw Aileen mentioned it. So she made me think about it for a while. I guess for last year's mine would be to 'love myself' and I think I did it since I did pamper myself in some way, especially making trips to the hair salon. hehe. ｖ（=＾0＾=）ｖ
For this year, I want to be more motivated to do all the things I wanted to in my list. Therefore I decided the theme to be: Spark the enthusiasm in me!
That's when I read a blog post and thought that this certainly fits it. You show the enthusiasm when you exude that vibrant energy such as giving tips and not holding back. For promoters this is good since many of us are easily influenced by emotions and not making rational decisions mostly. Although we might ended up with a regret purchase, we will come up with reasons to convince ourselves that there is nothing wrong of us to do so. Ahh.. so this is about having the emotions.
But of course this resulted in lots of questions that come to my mind now.
How am I going to have the right emotion of enthusiasm to complete all the goals I wanted to? The answer is that I need energy.
But then how do I have the energy? The answer should be that I need sleep. [wikihow says it in Method 3, although I'm mentioning this on purpose among all the methods. hahaha.]
Bravo. I'm doing a self-ask self-answer and I think I got them right. (≧▽≦)
Hey so does this means I have every reason to go sleep and be lazy? xD Well but I'm just joking for now. I need quality sleep, that's the thing. The problem has came back again just before the first day of work this year where I just went over a little time to do my stuffs even though I was really sleepy already. And just because of that, my sleepiness went away so it ended up that I was unable to sleep the whole night. How hateful is this. I thought this sleeping problem should have ended last year since I got better. But it seems like it's hard to resolve it. =( Well because I know it's gonna be hard for me to fall asleep if my sleepiness is over so whenever I feel sleepy I just make myself go to bed. Who knows I have to continue doing that until now? (,_,) So you see, sleep is still important to me. I'm trying hard to get really good sleep so that I have enough energy to do what I want when I have enough rest. (T ^ T)
But on one hand, this just boils down to use time effectively. Yet I believe I really need the sleep so that I have the mood and energy. I mean I know myself well cos I have forced myself before to study at a fixed time but it just didn't work. I'm so afraid the sleep problem will haunt me back again. It's really a pain that it continues even till now. Yet now I'm also afraid of feeling empty if I didn't achieve any of those that I wanted to do badly. It's just that.....it's really hard for me to stay energetic most of the time. And that is why I can't balance with having to work and study at the same time. It'll drain too much energy out of me and I feel I will break apart. How I wished I can really venture into another line that doesn't make me feel so tired out like now. (x_x)
Well well well...now that I've rested a bit and able to think clearly, I need music to influence my mood now. Since I've completed my spring cleaning faster than I thought, it's time to do many of those which are as important too.
I need the spark!
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