Now that we're moving on to the new year, I wonder will I be filled with excitement. lol.
Since I'm free and I just woke up from my nap, I wanna do a Kagrra collage like what I did just last year! Of course, I didn't forget how special this day is. It's time to watch and listen to Urei again and again~ I haven't been on Kagrra mode for a while and have been trying to distract myself with other groups and bands so that I'll be happy in some way. In one way or another I've no idea if it's good or not for me to do so. It just feels like a cycle. That I can't get myself to be overly obsessed with one singer/band/group for I'm afraid that if I'm into one too much I'll lose control. But then again I'll be regretful no matter what situation I'm in. >_< If I'm too focused on one, I'll regret for missing out a lot of other good ones out there. But if I'm exploring and listen to a bunch of others happily, I'll regret for not spending enough time on what I like, especially my dear Kagrra,. So which is the best for me?? Since I've decided to be a casual listener to Japanese and Korean music. But then, Kagrra will always be the top in my list, soooo I just shouldn't give up on any. Do as what I like then, I supposed. (^_^);
Alright since it's the very start of the year, I shouldn't hesitate and think so much. And since Kagrra always have to come to me at this time. This is a reminder to me that I should get back to them once again and continue from where I have left. There's still so many episodes of Kagrra, no Su that I'm not done with. And listening to Isshi's solos. And also do my album reviews! Arggghhh!! How should I get started?? (・_・)
(=-ω-)zzZZ乙乙 As for the update to my life this week, I have been feeling hungry so often and also sleepy right after a meal soooo often! I feel like I'm starting to live like a buta during the holidays. Beer, food, sleep. It's all I have to do during my days of rest. HAHAHAHAHA. I'm letting myself go without feeling guilty for that the recent workload would just almost kill me. They pile up like mountains and everything is important to get them settled asap. It's freaking gonna drive me nuts especially we're preparing to move but I haven't got started with packing and there's just this difficult person we have to deal with which made our work even more troublesome. ARGH. What else can we do other than to bear with the crap at this moment?
Anyway, I've started my spring cleaning yesterday morning so I'm not totally an unmotivated person okay. Haha. I've cleared quite a bit of stuffs and now I realised my cosmetics are just getting lesser and lesser since I don't use them so often but only on special occasions. Kinda feeling pity for myself, or for the cosmetics themselves that they aren't being utilised as much. But you know, sleep and every other thing is more important to me now. lol. I believe foundation itself is the most important one cos I wanna look with good skin and complexion. I find that eye makeup just takes up a lot of time and patience and I just feel I'm crazy if I have to apply each time I went out. I NEED TO HAVE THE MOOD. I just don't wanna force myself to do something unwillingly for the sake of it. That's just meaningless.
So to speak, now's the time to start resolutions and be motivated. For one thing I wanna mention now is that I don't feel the urge to force myself with things that I feel that is against my feelings anymore. I mean especially to make myself fit in into a group and show that I have a social life. 3 years ago I did a lot since I feel I need a change in my life to know more people. But the more I know the more disappointment I got and felt so left out. Maybe I just didn't get to be in the right group or whatsoever but that doesn't matter anymore now. There is nothing to be missed but to move forward to better future. I don't feel sad that I'm not part of any group for that that's not a very important thing that I must have in life. I mean I know 2 kinds of people now - those without social life basically is because:
1. they chose not to since they believe family is more important than friends and they are strong enough to be by themselves rather than keep meeting people
or
2. they want to but just that they can't find any! lol. [which means they don't have friends]
Somehow I wanna say I believe that stingy friend belongs to the second because she's the one who keeps asking me out and I don't see her hanging out with anyone else. xD Well it also took me long enough to realise that it's no wonder that I have never got the urge to ask her out all along, cos I was treated like some lowly person. Anyway back to the above, I've seen lots of people who fall in the first category and so.....I think I'm in that too for now. [I am indeed a good, generous and trustworthy person so I'm not lacking in friends haha] ♪～(´ε｀ )
I still believe most important is that I'm happy with what I'm doing. There is so much to do already! I have endless of videos to watch and books to read. I have my list of projects and tasks I wanna accomplish for myself. I don't need to make myself spend so much money and time on social life it's really exhausting. To put it bluntly, it's more of showing off to people that you're popular. But the sad fact is, they are always the one whom you CAN'T depend on at all. If you need help, they'll probably be the first to run away from you. (-_-)
Ahh.. this just reminds me this is another cycle thing. Yeah I might have said that I don't care about my social life now but who knows if I get older then I ended up being socially active in someway? Well well, I don't really care much about that now so let's not think yeah? I'll rather make my time and life more worthwhile with people who really care about me rather than talking all sorts of nonsense from other people... [I'm pretty sure they talked behind my back too since they've talked about others even if they did nothing. ⋋_⋌]
Yeah, so this sums up as my start. I have a dear friend who came up with a timetable for all her activities whereby she incorporated time for studies and exercise so I'm impressed with how motivating she is. Oops my projects just come as too generic and not specific enough on how I should set my time for all the things I wanted to do. Well, I'm trying? I just find it hard to stick to something at a certain time [unless is certain day] and having a list of things to do is just easier for me. My weakness is to wake up early in the morning cos I just CAN'T I NEED SLEEP and I put sleep before everything. (>ω<) I need to have enough sleep so that my brain can function. lol. I don't know how to work on it since it took me sometime to be able to sleep normally. I'm just not normal although I'm an ordinary person. hahaha.
Okay, gonna continue my spring cleaning with this bruise and have to get it done before CNY comes. Let's just hope 2017 gets better. And I'll be a better person than before. （＾∇＾）
xx
Yuuka
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