#25 lyric: Nowhere

Somehow I can't wait to post this lyric although November hasn't yet come. I wanna release this latest work of mine cos I feel like it! I mean it's a reflect of my current state feelings so I wanna get it out all to feel better. Man this was fast! I didn't expect this either. I'm definitely back to square one now and not hoping for more. I'm currently just enjoying my time with friends whom are true so I wanna cherish them well. I'm no longer in the condition to think of anything else. I just want my life to be in good order. And also to be ready for the next year and start thinking of new plans if possible. I need to get myself back all good. (o・・o)/

With that, the song I was inspired by is a 'death' song that I deemed it to be some time ago. Cos since I've teared and cried quite a bit too for that week.... (´；Д；｀)

[Inspired by BUCK-TICK NOT FOUND]

Nowhere (いない)
Filthy ashes fluttering as my tears fall
I died along with your disinclination
Trapped in a hazy maze,
I didn't know where to walk from here

The heart of mine that has went missing
Searching for you whom
were never once here at all

*Disappearance, spoke louder than my fears that won't fly away

Your lies that has left me the only one counting
questioning my presence as though it was a joke to begin with
Will I have the courage to face it again?

The dream of mine that has went missing
Searching for you whom
were never once here at all

*Disappearance, spoke louder than my fears that won't fly away

*Disappearance, break me apart more than how I can scream away

*Captivating, was how my life has ended even if I'm laying beside you

*Captivating, was how my pain has turned into scars I can never erased

*Disappearance, even when you dig deeper and found none... 
~~~~~
This person is probably dead in me.

When time would tell everything...

and me having to stop being foolish on my part. 

~~Yuuka

It has to end..

Just why did I start my October feeling so down and all...

It's quite hard to go through this week I think. Facing that difficult person at work and then suddenly I felt so left out. Last week is probably okay but I was already feeling moody since then. Now it got a little worse. But I've probably got everything figured out I supposed? Maybe the more I'm afraid the more it gets back at me? I don't know! I just don't want history to repeat itself again. I'm so tired of facing all those. To be ignored and left there, as if I was the one who staged everything. I feel so hateful of my actions and all these can't make me believe in anything anymore. Words are probably lies, attention is only for the weak? No, I'm not gonna hate myself. I will live my life in a better way that it should have. 。・°°・(＞_＜)・°°・。

My happiness from yesterday~~ I went to a musical box museum and it was amazing!! An unexpected find that turned out so good. So I'm gonna have another post about it some other time then. As for now, I got myself a new planner for next year which I've been troubling for some time! I actually found one that is to my liking in monthly view of the right size. I hope this helps me out better! haha. And I got the LINE notebook as a little gift from my friend who has won it! Cony is my favorite character and this made me so much happier! [Thank U so much!!] Oh, and lastly I got the shark brother comic book just cos it looked funny. I didn't know such a thing was around until I saw it at the bookstore. I know I had to get something like that to lift up my mood in this current situation. (≧ω≦)

This was what I got last week. A phone stand that I really need it before my hands get all the cramps again. This was the only type that I can find so not like I have much choices. Well green because the pink was too hot for me to take it. I feel like I already have to much pink red tones stuffs at home I should probably get something else that not hurt my eyes lol. Rest assure I'll not be sad or fret over for that color. I'm gonna get over with it.

Besides, what's better than looking at my Atsushi from here? B-T's music has became an important thing that made me survive now. Their songs that made me feel the hurt and how I've been going through the pain. Last year was probably worse than now but that said it made me wrote something that I was so proud of. It could remind of the pain once again but nevertheless since it's over and now that I've grown out of those pains, I feel it's gonna be something that tells me this is how strong I can go. Don't fret over something that isn't worth the tears. Although my tears do flow easily when I thought of the past. But I guess what's gone is gone and it just isn't worth to think about anymore. Like how I've already decided on some things. I know somehow I have the answer within myself but it's also hard to face. But now.... let's just not be bothered about it anymore. (,_,)


Yeah, suddenly I feel so sorry for myself and towards everyone. I should have worked harder and done better. I should not have unhappy thoughts. Maybe some parts of me is missing and I need to find them back. But for sure, I'm not showing those tears to anyone. I need to be strong. There's no point crying. 

That said, I don't wanna go over the same thing again. I really hope not. 

I will blog more when I have the mood back. I'm not gonna let myself down anymore. و(¯―¯٥)

#24 lyric: A Lover's whisper

As I'm writing this post now [17 Sept], it's actually on a very nice lazy Saturday of mine where I just got my lyric for October done! Well, I've been scheduling my posts as usual and somehow I just can't wait to get my lyrics posted this time since I'm all set to get my October lyric done as soon as I can. So 2 Saturdays later and this lyrics will get to see the world. How marvelous. lol.

It's a wonder actually, this 90s song just suddenly appeared in my head all day, as if to hint to me that I have to get one done similar to this as much as how this reflects my current feeling. Yeah, this is probably a little secret of mine that I'm letting the world to see through my lyrics. Well how impressed I am with myself now lol.

[Inspired by BUCK-TICK Bran-new lover]

A Lover's whisper
The wind carries everything away even my desires
How beautiful it is, to lose it all and start over again
I didn't even want to break free

Sure the storm ahead reminds me of loneliness
but silence pains me as I sat worn and abandoned
I no longer miss a thing

*At the end let's be ready for our goodbyes
The only thing I want now is to hold you close

While I'm trying hard to lessen my guilt,
you would happen to be right beside me
Could we be lovers in disguise?

Sure I would love to turn every bitter and sweet
moments into a love story
but could this be my wishful thinking?

*Before the ending comes, I might not be ready for goodbyes
The only thing I hope is to vanish before being found

*At the end I might forget all that I've lost
and be left with a broken heart until we could meet...
~~~~~
It is that....I just want to be with you.

but could this be my wishful thinking?

I don't want the goodbyes as you know....not at all.

~~Yuuka

#23 lyric: 舞蝶

Yes!! I'm all set to release this dark rock song of mine for September. It just happens somehow while I was deciding which to be posted here, and since recently at the start of this month I wasn't feeling entirely good, and rock songs gave me the feels once more. I love listening to dark ones cos they appeal to my heart so much. I feel I was revived in other way. I don't know why there is just this side of me but probably that's because all the years in my life I have been keeping many things inside my heart. At some point of time I feel I wanted to burst and be rebellious, but I just can't. I can't go against my principles too. And perhaps slowly, all these that build up inside me turned into something that cannot be gone anymore. I guess I can give it a name, but I've no idea which is the best as of now. haha. But let's just zoom into my masterpiece anyway. ♪～(´ε｀　)

[Inspired by BUCK-TICK 喋喋]

舞蝶(まいちょう)
Darkness, they run through me
happily they leaked out a secret
If I burst into tears and enter this door,
I'm never gonna return

Dreams and lovers
like insects, they crumble
out of desire, out of control

*I'm that dancing butterfly
with the freedom you dreamt of
It doesn't matter
I don't have to watch the clock ticking anymore
If death chooses me,
I'll gladly accept

Fear, is quieter than I thought
I'm devouring too much I can't stop trembling
It's easy when I can smile to myself
when it's gonna hurt me like it used to

Guilt and dejection
like rocks, they sink
out of replusion, out of control

*I'm that dancing butterfly
with the freedom you dreamt of
It doesn't matter
I don't have to watch the clock ticking anymore
If death chooses me,
I'll no longer hesitate
~~~~~
I embrace this dark side of myself in fact.

Only then that is where I can come up with something like that,

that made me feel a lot better and understand myself better.

And my love for Buck-tick has gotten stronger too.

Definitely something to be proud of afterall.

~~Yuuka

#22 lyric: インフィニティ

Sorry to be late for the July lyric post! Starting this year I know I have not been writing enough lately. Been too occupied with every other thing else in my life and also constantly yearning for rest that I don't have as much inspiration going on inside my head as compared to last year. For this I have to say, that from next year onwards I'll take it slow and release whenever I feel like it, instead of making myself post every month. Coming up with 12 lyrics a year has became kinda tough for me since I only wanna release those that can be seen by anyone else here. I did wrote a lot in the past but I just don't find them appropriate to be seen by the rest of the world. Honestly I wanna keep some to myself too, and so this will make me try to write more. I can't explain why I do so but that's just how this goes for me. I think this is quite a good way for me after all since I'm comfortable with it. (｀･ω･)っ彡/

And so all I'm left with is to come up with at least 2 lyrics for this year since I've already planned a precious song to isshi long ago for his birthday in December [and that was also something I've written long ago too]. I guess that's what I can do best for this year at least. Although I've been feeling kinda guilty lately for being into Buck-tick more than Kagrra now. Well my source of inspiration could come from different places as long as I can write something of my style right? I believe isshi would never blame me and neither should I do that to myself. I didn't forget him nor ignore him at all. But I'm kinda losing touch with Japanese and on one hand it's just hard to deal with so many things on one go.  "Should I take a break so that I can get pumped up again and will do more than before?" That's always the thought that goes inside my head and then I'll get lost again. Guilt and patience torture me too much nowadays. I really need a solution to all that problems. Argh.

Anyway, on to the lyric that was supposed to be an encouraging one... I hope I did well nonetheless. ^_^

[Inspired by BUCK-TICK Galaxy]

インフィニティ infinity
The love I never once thought will break me apart
has started darkening the skies
What can I do as I hugged and cried

Chasing a dream we can never call as reality
I sank my head, recalling how lies overtook me
What can I believe in, when nothing has come true

Just when you think everything is over,
somehow that ray reaches you...

*The night is not for nightmares as you thought
but a time for you to dream a beautiful dream
Hey, living is nothing but just a dream
just spread your wings and let go of all the worries
There's nothing to be fearful of anymore

Turning my back away from love so as to believe I'm strong enough to stand again
But only to realise I'm shivering with uncertainties and to fall down again
How am I to look up as I came to be wrong once more

The nightmares in the night...

If life is a tragic for us to believe,
then why can't we stop running?

*The night is not for nightmares as you thought
but a time for you to dream a beautiful dream
Hey, living is nothing but just a dream
just spread your wings and let go of all the worries
There's nothing to be fearful of anymore

Let my heart be unstoppable
~~~~~
As we came to know more and go through more,

we can be a fearless person...

There shall be nothing that hold us back now.

~~Yuuka

#20 lyric: Azrael

This is my lyric for June! I have been coming across this Buck Tick's dark song in which I love and recalled that I've written something like that many months ago last year. It all started with this tweet in which I feel probably this means it's time to revive that dark feelings again. lol.

As much as I think mine may not be as great as Atsushi's but I feel this song has brought out so much power! I enjoyed watching as they perform the song live. It's as if you got all in your hands and capable of doing anything. It's really really the only song I feel it overwhelmed me in such a strong way. xD

[Inspired by BUCK-TICK 夢魔-The Nightmare]

Azrael
Soaked in the cloud of darkness,
I'm the fallen angel longing to be taken over

Repression builds up day by day, a life that I have devoured away
I'm the spirit wanting to be dyed in a pool of blood

Sins crawling towards me, how can I stop

On the cold ground where I stand,
chasing misdeed one after another
I'm the fallen angel whom has lost his soul

The desire-turned-nightmare that devoured my only life away
I'm the spirit wanting to be drenched in a pool of blood

Filth crawling towards me shamelessly, who can be here to stop it

A world of cruelty that exist,
seeing too much that my heart goes mad
With endless screams playing,
should they be left alone?

*Soaked in the cloud of darkness,
I'm the fallen angel longing to be taken over

A life that I have devoured away
I'm the spirit wanting to be dyed in a pool of blood

Chasing misdeed one after another
I'm the fallen angel whom has lost his soul

The desire-turned-nightmare that devoured my only life away
I'm the spirit wanting to be drenched in a pool of blood*

Crying souls of tonight,
should they be left alone? 

~~~~~
Feeling dark with power,...

Watch me with fear! 

~~Yuuka

Songs that made me teared

Didn't mean to talk about something sad, but it was when I came across this Buck-tick song that made me feel so sad I teared naturally I thought I should have a post about this. There are many songs that made me feel sad but to let me tear or cry it's just not that easy. These few are the ones that went into my heart emotionally and I felt the pain. I have no idea why but it just happens. I just hope I won't be crying whenever I listen to them until that I'm afraid of them like I used to for Kagrra,.


● Ayu - HEAVEN

● Kagrra, - 終焉の季節 Shuuen no Kisetsu

● BUCK-TICK - Not Found

For HEAVEN and Shuuen no Kisetsu, they sure are songs about death. Not Found is a bit more complex. It's not obvious whether it's a death song but the moment I heard it it pierce into my heart for some reason. I would interpret this as a death song to me, as though someone has left and is not found as we would like.

Well, this is what I get for being this emotional. I do have written a death song sometime last year? Now I wonder if I'm afraid to release this myself. I hope, despite all the sadness that has given me the inspiration, I feel better after that and cherish all that I've got.

I wanna do things with all my heart as you know..

17th lyric release - L'appel du Vide

Here comes my lyric meant for February! I was really addicted to Buck-Tick's beauty song lol. It made me a lot happier in the mornings when I listened to it on the way to work. I love how they have such hyper songs cos they do lift up my mood. Those are really an addiction that I couldn't get rid of! Haha. But anyway, why would I get rid of them? I'm more than happy enough to be mesmerized with them so much. hehehehe. (♥ŐωŐ♥)

And do I have to mention? It's the first time I'm using French as the title. My lyrics ended up as a sad rather than a happy song too. (^_^;) But it's definitely how it will to turn out to be...

[Inspired by BUCK-TICK 独壇場Beauty]

L'appel du Vide
Beauty could just rot away, like my heart...
At the end of the night,
it has sent me flying

Fear could just be blown away, like my life...
Seriousness is not my game
I need not be awaken

*Believing is all but a lie
Drenched in rage, I whirl around in turmoil

Love could have vanished, just like my soul...
Panting and ending in screams,
it has set me free

In a blink the world where I dreamt of,
is waving goodbye

Undisturbed by passion,
I cling on to eternity that never comes

*Where all is lost, 
Believing is all but a lie
Sank in despair, I dance to the next storm

~~~~~
I'm still trying to grasp the real beauty

that is sinking inside me.

~~Yuuka 

16th lyric release - Flowers of despair

Ahhh, it's already April and there's been so much going on that I've missed the time to post my lyrics monthly as I would like to. (>_<) I'm really sorry towards myself and my dear blog. lol.  So as of now I'm lagging behind with 3 lyric posts. But I wanna find the right mood to choose which I wanna release for the month. Yet I guess now this doesn't really matter since my mood goes up and down anyway. (；´Д｀) So please check out my lyrics posts that's coming up when I feel like posting them asap so that I can catch up with what I wanna convey for the month... Anyways, I hope anyone will say they like it as much as I do! （・□・；）

A depressing one this time... when I was all sad just last month.

[Inspired by BUCK-TICK - メランコリア-]

Flowers of despair
Glass of desires
Heart of stone
This stage where I'm dancing, all alone
and the only audience who will applause
is acting too

Gazing at the moonlight
white feathers are falling off me
Covered by darkness, I'm no longer myself

*Deep romance they pricked with no shame
Who is there to hold my frozen hand dripping in red
Buried in withered flowers,
let me drink to the last drop

Chains of distress
Song of contempt
This stage where I am, acting all alone
for the only audience who is dancing...

Fascinated by the moonlight,
I bring my smile to the darkness before me
As the feathers are leaving me,
I'm no longer myself

*Deep romance they pricked with no shame
Who is there to hold my frozen hand dripping in red
Buried in withered flowers,
let me drink to the last drop

The final scene of myself
dancing and acting without a trace...

~~~~~
The stage is all mine now.

I'm learning to be myself all over again..

~~Yuuka

The different feeling...

Have missed out earlier in February to mention about Izumi's birthday on the 11th. Oh well, what else but to tweet to Nao about it? lol. I'm glad he tweets on those special dates and I believe he does keep track of them better than I do. Sometimes I only realised it's a special day only when it comes, or when I saw on my twitter timeline. Nooooo I didn't mean to forget! I got them written on my calendar! The only date that I've missed out is the disbandment day. Other than that, I'm not guilty of anything I swear! (x_x)

Okay~ although it's quite plain, but the colourful hearts win isn't it? xD

But yeah I haven't been listening to Kagrra as much as those days last year. Since I'm into Buck tick as my inspiration source. I don't know is it something that I have to be guilty of after all. I mean, we should explore others too and that doesn't mean that I've forgotten what I love most nor does it mean I don't care about Kagrra, anymore.

But recently, probably it's been a little too long that I haven't touch on Kagrra, until that I couldn't form any words I wanted to say on the 3rd March that day...

All I did was to retweet from Japanese fans and from Nao. I don't know what else to say. Yeah it's been 5 years since that day but I just can't say it out. Maybe because it's the day where disbanded so it's something sad for me that I don't wanna recall? I don't even know why myself.. I was feeling kind out of place too when I went to listen Haru Urara and some other Kagrra songs and then...

the feeling is really different!!

Maybe because of the different genre and mood that Buck tick gives and so when I'm back to Kagrra, the feeling is somewhat something I have to adjust back?  And then because of that, I feel sad again. Is this something I have to be guilty of after all? (ó﹏ò｡)

Well I hope no one blames me, although most of the time I'm the one who blames myself. It doesn't help too right? Unless I can change that.

I wanted to write those lyrics that I'm proud of again. But inspiration is evil. It comes and goes as fast as the wind. It's hard for me to catch it on time. ｡ﾟ(ﾟ´Д｀ﾟ)ﾟ｡


Well then, the only thing now is to make sure that Buck tick helps me as good as what Kagrra did. And to end this post happily,

I started off my March month in a really good mood.

Beer has helped me a lot too haha. 

I might be ready for more...

I will do my best!　力のかぎり頑張ろう！

I wanna be free...

Hello World~ I've actually not blogged for 2 weeks! I didn't want to be like this... but I just can't type a thing at my blog. I'm also troubled as u know.  ｡ﾟ(ﾟ´Д｀ﾟ)ﾟ｡

You see, I felt empty this long... I know I've been saying that I need to focus on myself and taking a break from most things. But somehow, because I don't want to think, I ended up not wanting to do a thing. It's definitely not that good I know! I just want more time of my own and clear my mind while I stay away from most people where I can't feel that I'm part of them. But then I ended up lacking in motivation suddenly, and then I lack the inspiration to write my lyrics. It doesn't come out of my naturally like it used to. (T ^ T) I was so upset about this and so I don't have the mood for anything else. Then I ended up not doing anything again,...so it turned out to be an endless cycle! I wonder if the reason behind it is cos that I've no longer have any feelings/connections with Ayu anymore. From having no feelings to getting irritated with her recent activities, I think I'm mostly done with being her fan. Everything she does now doesn't make me feel related to her anymore. I can't feel her song nor her lyrics. She's became the queen that is so far from reach. She isn't the same person that made me like in the first place. From disappointment after disappointment, I've learnt not to expect anything from her anymore. But I still keep getting disappointed with what she does. I'd rather she take a break than me taking a break. Because my break from her couldn't last! I ended up having to make such a decision.. The news of her keep appearing everywhere made me irritated. Why do you have to keep acting sexy? The Ayu I know of and liked doesn't act that way all the time. Where is the Ayu who wrote profound lyrics that made me learned and love? NOT HERE ANYMORE!

You know, I've actually been defending her and telling myself to support her no matter what but this time I don't think I can last and lie to myself anymore. I couldn't take it. Since I actually felt uncomfortable I think probably I really have to let go. It's been bothering me for this long so why should I continue to make myself feel so troubled? Initially I thought her next studio album shall be the determining factor as to whether I'll continue to be her fan. But now since I already felt that uncomfortable should I even wait that long? Maybe I shouldn't be taking this too seriously, but I don't wanna be a fan for nothing. I seek that feeling, inspiration, motivation and love from my idols. I don't wanna follow blindly. I know she grows and so do I! And that's why I believe that it's probably time for me to let go.. And I did! I've actually dump away those new articles of her I've collected over the years and also all the posters. The only thing I haven't yet done is her albums that I've painstakingly collected for 12 years of my fandom?  I probably need not do this far but... I just can't help it. I've been struggling with this for so long. It took me a while to realise that I'm actually not so into her since Party Queen era. All along I'm actually forcing myself to keep up with her. Because I don't wanna waste the effort and years of collecting. But now I believe it's better for me to face the truth... I would say I'm about to give up being her fan for real. Maybe I'll be free and better this way. (,_,)

I don't wanna feel upset but to be true to myself. Since I really love rock a lot and I can't feel Ayu anymore through her pop songs, it's better for me to go after what I truly love. Moreover, we live to be happy isn't it? I should stop letting myself feeling troubled for things that don't work for me anymore.

Yeah, now that I've finally spoken my thoughts, I feel better now without keeping this within me anymore. I'm only thinking how am I to break such a news to everyone.  (._.)

Maybe I don't need to say so since no one there really cares about me. I'll just continue to live my life and do what I want.


Well anyway, I've updated my twitter profile and I'm glad to say that. haha.

And since Buck-Tick music has taken over my time mostly, it's time for me to start a new life with the lyric work that I'm proud of again.


May this will be the reason for me to get moving and start all over again...

15th lyric release - Dulcet

I'm currently obsessed with Buck-tick songs and trying to get their songs into me so that I can write the kind of lyrics I want. It's been more than a month already and I still haven't yet got a full song written since. It's as though I have a mental block. lol. I hate how busyness and tiredness has eaten away my inspiration. But for now, I don't wanna leave my blog empty without a lyric post as what I usually do every month. So I shall post one from last year's work.  A positive song shall be a good start and reminder for me to go on. I hope I can find it back soon. (・∪・)

[Inspired by BUCK-TICK MISS TAKE～僕はミス・テイク～]

Dulcet 
My memories are going in a twirl
slowly melting away my desires

How can only beginnings be sweet
and leaving us in pain thereafter

If the presence of love destroys me,
let me be gone just as it is

*Look at the path ahead that we can't escape
I've became an Angel of my own
Worries shall flow to neverland
Nothing can slow me down

What have I left behind that I need to search for again?
Must changes be the reason to make us stronger?

If love turns out as a tragic,
I don't want to recall a thing

*Look at the path ahead that we can't escape
I've became an Angel of my own
Worries shall flow to neverland
Nothing can slow me down

*Look at the path ahead that we can't escape
I've became an Angel of my own
Freedom that once swept past me
I will not stop flying

~~~~~
Am I the only one who could encourage myself at this moment? 

I need the strength, but I don't wanna recall a thing for now...

~~Yuuka

13th lyric release - み使い

I've been wanting to write something about Angels, but just that I can't really get myself to write in a positive way somehow. I'm just doing my best in my own way. Coming up with a name for the song is also a bit of challenge. lol. Anyway, I suddenly feel that this song is also about the topic of dream that I mentioned about in my previous lyric, but in a different way. I'm not sure how to put it though. Well well, never mind that's not the focus. This one is somewhat my current feelings now, so I just wanna show it here. BUCK-TICK's song is referring to an insect, I wrote one about that too, but it's the melody that's similar here. Whatever it is, please tell me if there's any positivity in this work of mine cos I just hope there is a little. Whatever am I saying. lol. (>ω<)

[Inspired by BUCK-TICK 羽虫のように]

み使い(みつかい)
Angels, they dropped by with that smile
blocking the moonlight I see everyday
I could probably fly with that belief
but all I have is a broken wing

Sure, I've dreamt more than enough
and it gets meaningless
If the world I perceive is a facade,
why can't I be taken away instead?

*Love like this, isn't enough
Give me a reason to breathe
without doubting
Love like this, isn't easy
Being alive seemed good
If only I understood why

Falling over countless times I'm afraid to move further
just like my heart, it gets drained soundlessly
Since it gets distasteful,
I could only keep it under wraps

Sure, I've imagined way too much
and it gets meaningless
If the world I before me is a facade,
just take me away instead

**Love like this, isn't enough
Tell me the reason of my existence
without doubting
Love like this, isn't easy
Being awake seemed good
If only I understood why

*Love like this, isn't enough
Give me a reason to breathe
without doubting
Love like this, isn't easy
Being alive seemed good
If only I understood why

~~~~~
Sure, I'm the one who wants to be an Angel instead. But I have my struggles. 

Will I ever be strong enough for myself and others? 

If only I understood why, and everything. 

~~Yuuka

7th lyric release - Requiem of rain

It's probably the hottest time of the year now in June, but then the weather has changed again and it's been rainy, which made my mood better now. (^_^) Have been feeling a little unwell few days back when it was really hot and how much I was hoping for the rain to come. lol. And so, I intended to post a rainy song of mine...hoping to make myself feel better. But anyways, let me just stick to it then, although I'm in a better condition now. (-｡-;)

[Inspired by BUCK-TICK Nocturne -Rain Song-]

Requiem of rain
Light flashes of profound memories,
the world shaken into ruins
Love has turned into destruction

Rain lightly tapping on my heart
To whom is the requiem playing for?

*Can hatred travel at the speed I couldn't catch up?
Darkness convinced me that it is in my eyes
The last bit of me has even given up
I don't want to dream, I don't want to wish
it's not coming

La~ la~ 

Devils crying for souls in despair
seemingly eating into my beliefs
I couldn't even spare myself off

Ripples attract and lead me to here
To whom is this requiem playing for? 

*Can hatred travel at the speed I couldn't catch up?
Darkness convinced me that it is in my eyes
The last bit of me has even given up
I don't want to dream, I don't want to wish
it's not coming

La~ la~

The only thing that spoke of our love,
is falling just like this rain

~~~~~
Rain made me feel calm and peaceful now instead of gloomy back then. I really wish it will continue to fall. 

Although the coldness may be hard to bear with. 

Just let the rain wash my worries away~~  

~~Yuuka 

5th lyric release - 旋風

My latest work written just this month, and also cos I was still into Buck-Tick's songs. And even more coincident that my favourite anime Kamisama hajimemashita was showing the Ferris wheel which was mentioned in my favourite Buck-Tick song Rasen mushi. [I really don't know which is the right title, but let's just called it like that]  Since it happened at such a right time, I really got so inspired and I think all the more I should release this song cos I just have the feels for it! I really feel that I should come up with a song similar to Rasen mushi.

My song is written to have some mysterious feels. I hope it can be shown clearly. =)

[Inspired by BUCK-TICK 螺旋 虫]

旋風 (せんぷう)
Paper windmill that showed up to me
spinning round and round till my dreams believe me

Feeling the breeze around while being swept away
Will it turn things over, while I'm running in circles too?

Darkness lurking behind the shadows
speaks ill of my thoughts
If I'm destroyed,
probably I'll laugh it away

*Consumed by the colours in the kaleidoscope
my heart races to the other end
I will still smile,
even if my world crumbles to nothing

Whispers are confusing me, until silence creeps in
With half-heartedness, dreams came to a stop

Darkness lurking behind the shadows
overtaking my thoughts
If I'm hallucinating,
probably I'll laugh it away

*Consumed by the colours in the kaleidoscope
my heart races to the other end
I will still smile,
even if my world crumbles to nothing

The wonderland I'm living in... dreams believing me...

~~~~~
Let's say this reminds you of Kagrra's Uzu too? Cos of the paper windmill.

I don't know how, but a Ferris wheel song made me wanna write about paper windmill instead. lol. And I suddenly got reminded of Kagrra! （≧∇≦）
 
Probably pure coincidence does exist in this world.

Because it's due to fate.

~Yuuka

Anime Kamisama hajimemashita 神様はじめました

One awesome anime I've discovered in a short while and completed Season 1 and OVA in a matter of 2 days! lol.

Yeah, and again this is also a romance comedy and I just love how the story flows nicely. I'm not totally in for supernatural/fantasy anime but this one isn't one that I'll drag watching at all! I got so hooked with this anime and I should be watching the 2nd Season too since it has just ended. Oh well, but because I have to prioritize my time now I have to put it aside at the moment. I'm certainly itching to see how the story goes further!  ヾ(*´∀｀*)ﾉ

I love these 3 characters~~ ♥

Ferris wheel! I got reminded of Buck-Tick's song Rasen mushi [or Rasen muchuu?] that I find this is not just romantic and mysterious cos of the song. lol!


I guess most people love Tomoe. He's really a cute and gentle fox yokai. Aww~~~

The best part ever [in the OVA] is when Tomoe says "If you could everything by yourself, I wouldn't have a reason to exist."

Yes, so we shouldn't push ourselves too hard for everything, right?

I just love how he cares for Nanami. ♥♥♥

I love those cute faces!!

Mizuki is such a nice looking white snake too!! (*^◯^*) ♡

This kimono is very beautiful!! I'm now itching to get a kimono too after seeing this. The ending to this anime is certainly very lovely. I would say it's the best I've seen so far. ♥

They 'seal' the contract again [kiss] for 20 seconds! Best scene ever~!

A love story between a human and a yokai.. *heart melted*

That said, I will watch the 2nd season with such eagerness too!


Kamisama hajimemashita storyline @ wikipedia

4th lyric release - 留別

Yeah quite a few Buck-Tick songs have got a deep impression in me. And at certain times their songs just keep replaying inside my head, and then giving me the feels to start writing a song similar to theirs with that same sort of feeling. How is it that I can feel so relateable to them somehow. Lol.

And so, now I have to release this work of mine cos this song Dress just keeps replaying in my mind. Although my work would probably not be any similar to this song at all. But well, is the melody but not the words though. haha.

Dark song once again. It has been a dull week, so....

[Inspired by BUCK-TICK Dress]

留別(りゅうべつ)
The grey skies which conceal my thoughts
The love I looked away the other day
Can I never be awake?

Tears which leave a sigh of misery
why are we left to consign to fate

*Why can't I ever say a farewell
without a sense of guilt
Held by the lonely moon,
I let myself be poisoned again and again

The sunrise which led me lost sight of tomorrow
The unspoken pain I was swallowing forcefully
Can I never be awake?

Scars which hide the pitifulness
why are we facing it alone

*Why can't I ever say a farewell
without a sense of guilt
Held by the lonely moon,
I let myself be poisoned again and again

*Why can't I bring myself to say all
before I'm left with regrets
Held by the lonely moon,
I was poisoned again and again

 ~~~~~
 I'm probably feeling sad and empty for some reason now.. 

And that is just...grey. 

~Yuuka

My new inspiration: Buck-Tick

Somehow from the start of this year in January I listened to Buck-Tick and was inspired by them so much! They caught my attention while I was watching this dark horror anime 屍鬼 Shiki where Buck-Tick's くちづけ Kuchizuke is the opening song. I kinda like the song when I first heard it. It does match the anime, somewhat horror feels? That sort of rock feel. Lol~

It wasn't the first time I heard of Buck-Tick's songs though. I once listened to lots of Buck-Tick's song last year on Loli-pop Station because of Kagrra,. I happened to come across this web radio site where it plays Kagrra, music at that designated time and I went to listen to it. It was Kagrra, vs Buck-Tick. I have no idea of this band initially if not for this radio site. The Buck-Tick songs that I heard [of cos I can't remember what songs are those anymore] gave me the impression that their style is somewhat electronic rock? I can't describe the genre well anyway. I just remembered that they're rock music style is somewhat different and varies quite a bit. Unlike Kagrra, which is really just traditional rock. So I would say they explore quite a lot which is kinda good for a band? =)

 #Edit: Can't recall who wins until I went back to see the results last years. So Buck-Tick won. I could have guessed so since Kagrra, didn't have any special 'events' by them so far. That's why there's special day for Buck-Tick. *envy*

Can't helped but to mention them now cos they have been my source of inspiration for my lyric writing. I see their lyrics too, and I feel that I can write something like them and so my style has became like theirs! I guess it's cos they're songs are relateable to me, while Kagrra, is too much on demon/spirits/folktale stuff that it's so hard for me to write just like isshi. I think I'm more inclined to express my feeling through lyrics, not to recite a story like isshi. Lol... Can I say so?

Well then, all thanks to Buck-Tick for now. I won't say I'm very into them since I'm not really exploring them but just plain listening. I want to focus on a few singers that I support till now. So I'm just casually listening to Buck-Tick and I won't call myself as their fan. But they're kinda important. If not I couldn't have wrote so much this year without their music with me. Okay, let's just say they have become a little part of my life now. Haha.

Therefore, I'll release some of my works too which is inspired by them. I hope they're good to anyone reading it. Or maybe, lyric release would be a project for me this year. So that I would make myself write more. haha.


Yeah next up, my lyric work coming soon.... (^_-)-☆

2nd lyric release - 恋死のローズ Roses of dying love

I've been very itching lately to release a lyric, since I have wrote quite a lot and it has been so long since I last posted on my lyric to isshi! (>ω<)

I know there is this stubbornness in me that I wanna release my lyric together with the Japanese that is to be translated, but it's tough now since my friend is just lazy and reluctant to do so. (;´д｀) While I'm not that skilful in Japanese enough to be confident of doing the translation by myself. Then again, if this drags on, I'll never be able to release any of my works soon. Definitely it won't be coming. It might ended up years later, which is not what I wish to happen. SO I've now made up my mind to release the 2nd one today, without the Japanese part sadly. But still, since I've really got the urge to do something, I'll just go ahead although it doesn't feel complete to me, rather than just wait till I'm confident enough to translate. (・o・)

Yeah, why not I'll just release the original English one first, and then in the future I'll look back at this again and write the Japanese as I wanted to. Haha.(,_,)

Anyway, this lyric came about when I was feeling damn down in mid January and coincidentally, I was watching a dark anime with a dark theme song and so I thought I could write dark songs cos of it. Yeah I did that alright, but I was somehow being affected strongly. Been feeling horrible about myself and sad that I couldn't do anything.....partly due to someone. ~( ´•︵•` )~

Looking back at this now, I wouldn't say I hate this song cos of that. I've gotten over it so now it's just somewhat like bittersweet memories of what I've done. New year, so let me start off with the first lyric written this year!

A dark song, so....please feel it.

[Inspired by BUCK-TICK Romance]

恋死のローズ（こいじにのローズ）Roses of dying love
Living in denial
My shadow is the only thing left

The over dazzling moonlight
so bright I can never be seen

Crashed desires that remained rotten
sweeping everything away in vain
Who else is watching?

*Ah~ Let me dance to the bitter darkness
so that no one is alone
Ah~ The beauty that absorbs me
embrace till I was forgiven
Roses of dying love

Filthy ashes blowing
The only road to disappearance

With quivering hands
I picked up the petal you just left

If you can be cruel enough
Yes, please pierce deeply into my heart
But, why tonight?

*Ah~ Let me dance to the bitter darkness
so that no one is alone
Ah~ The beauty that absorbs me
embrace till I was forgiven
Roses of the dead night

~~~~~
I've never regret writing so. 

And yes, roses are my favourite now. They mean something.

~Yuuka