It's quite hard to go through this week I think. Facing that difficult person at work and then suddenly I felt so left out. Last week is probably okay but I was already feeling moody since then. Now it got a little worse. But I've probably got everything figured out I supposed? Maybe the more I'm afraid the more it gets back at me? I don't know! I just don't want history to repeat itself again. I'm so tired of facing all those. To be ignored and left there, as if I was the one who staged everything. I feel so hateful of my actions and all these can't make me believe in anything anymore. Words are probably lies, attention is only for the weak? No, I'm not gonna hate myself. I will live my life in a better way that it should have. 。・°°・(＞_＜)・°°・。
My happiness from yesterday~~ I went to a musical box museum and it was amazing!! An unexpected find that turned out so good. So I'm gonna have another post about it some other time then. As for now, I got myself a new planner for next year which I've been troubling for some time! I actually found one that is to my liking in monthly view of the right size. I hope this helps me out better! haha. And I got the LINE notebook as a little gift from my friend who has won it! Cony is my favorite character and this made me so much happier! [Thank U so much!!] Oh, and lastly I got the shark brother comic book just cos it looked funny. I didn't know such a thing was around until I saw it at the bookstore. I know I had to get something like that to lift up my mood in this current situation. (≧ω≦)
This was what I got last week. A phone stand that I really need it before my hands get all the cramps again. This was the only type that I can find so not like I have much choices. Well green because the pink was too hot for me to take it. I feel like I already have to much pink red tones stuffs at home I should probably get something else that not hurt my eyes lol. Rest assure I'll not be sad or fret over for that color. I'm gonna get over with it.
Besides, what's better than looking at my Atsushi from here? B-T's music has became an important thing that made me survive now. Their songs that made me feel the hurt and how I've been going through the pain. Last year was probably worse than now but that said it made me wrote something that I was so proud of. It could remind of the pain once again but nevertheless since it's over and now that I've grown out of those pains, I feel it's gonna be something that tells me this is how strong I can go. Don't fret over something that isn't worth the tears. Although my tears do flow easily when I thought of the past. But I guess what's gone is gone and it just isn't worth to think about anymore. Like how I've already decided on some things. I know somehow I have the answer within myself but it's also hard to face. But now.... let's just not be bothered about it anymore. (,_,)
Yeah, suddenly I feel so sorry for myself and towards everyone. I should have worked harder and done better. I should not have unhappy thoughts. Maybe some parts of me is missing and I need to find them back. But for sure, I'm not showing those tears to anyone. I need to be strong. There's no point crying.
That said, I don't wanna go over the same thing again. I really hope not.
I will blog more when I have the mood back. I'm not gonna let myself down anymore. و(¯―¯٥)
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