What is going on...?

Why the constant changes? Okay, the fact that things changes from time to time huh? (¬_¬)

Google is doing it again, I almost panicked when I couldn't find my pictures at picasa web album.

Is that a good way? I was confused where I can find them at first. Oh so it's not at Google photos but at Album archive if I wanna search for my blogger pictures. (-_-)

Whatever with this all in one thing. Changes confuses me much too often when I'm already used to something.


Okay, speaking of which, shouldn't I also get my current blog revamp too? (・・;) A new year is coming and it would be nice for a little change right? [Oh thanks google for the reminder.]

But now I still have no idea what to do with my LJ when it has some pictures that I don't wanna see again lol. 

Well well, let's just get some ideas brewing while struggling for time as well since, I really won't be able to get an entire day to make this blog design entirely differently. Although that's what I would I love to have.

And also, time to review the year and start making some resolutions as well! I need so much time to think. hahaha.

Happy Kagrra day for me..

In a blink of an eye, it's another Kagrra day to reminisce about once again.

To be honest, I have not been listening to Kagrra for a long time. For some reason, I have been losing motivation which led me to lose inspiration as well. And therefore, I wasn't in the mood for anything productive nor something that I'll like to do the most.

It's seems like it's the dullest period of my life now. ｡ﾟ(ﾟ´Д｀ﾟ)ﾟ｡

Well, at least this time of the year it's time to revive me back again. I might have said it countless times and wondering am I really back alive. I just can't see myself at the current state. My brain gets so messed up and turning into a blank piece of drawing board suddenly. What do I want the most? How can I get it? Can I just leave everything behind and fight for myself? OR simply, to find myself like what Michelle did? That's probably the best way that I can see things clearly and think clearer all over again. IF only things can be that easy to solve, and not seen as a form of selfishness. (┯_┯)


Well then, having said that much, I knew I wasn't satisfied with what I'm doing thus far. And every single thing I saw seems to be a challenge ahead. Was I ready for it? Should I even think of being ready? Or I shall just go for it? Are all the factors stopping me or am I stopping myself instead? I'm definitely not what some people thought of me to be. But I see no point in proving them anything. Why should I keep myself busy with others' thoughts which might be untrue?

Anyway, it's June which means we have reached almost half a year now. Time for reflection and everything else yeah? I feel that it's the right time of the year for me somehow to be able to take time to slow down a bit (maybe) and coming up with new plans and perhaps get motivated to fulfill them. What a hard time it has been. With work, it drains me down so much!! Now I have to do something different - which is journalling! A way to rediscover myself again. I have done a little last month and it wasn't enough. Although it's basically answering questions about myself. There's so much more to think about. And maybe I should also be happy for the fact that I created a new blog simply to post book reviews in order to make myself read more. But it was all dull since all I read are self-help books which talk nothing special but points that you should follow in order to achieve blah blah blah. There you go, this is actually what I'm interested in. LOL.

I will still blog here as usual, although kiramekikoi has started to turn into a personal blog because of my rants and the new weekly Cosmos posts. (ｰｰ;) Didn't mean to turn it that way, but I supposed that's how things developed for me over time. So it's probably the best that I've already have another one which focus on my interests rather than rants and stressful stuffs. I hope it'll turned out good but now it's still too early to know I guess. And who knows me over there? hahaaa. I shall have a good time writing things in a 'professional' manner and really use English the right way. But hey, how will I know if I have done it correctly? I always supposed that I did it right here already. (≧▽≦)


Alright, 2 more things to show here. Just sharing how happy am I to see comments and likes from the people I follow:

The power of philtrum!

And how happy I will be if Swoozie comes here. hehe.

That's how my Saturday goes. I'm happy again. =)

Take the chance to change for the better~

Here comes my once-in-a-blue-moon hair update! I splurge on my hair once again, since that became the only place where I can spend my money on without feeling guilty. Since this was my resolution, and I just have to get better to look pretty isn't it? lol.

First I have bought this hair oil months ago but I've just started using it this month. I wonder is it me who's having this new product fallacy. Every time I bought an use a new (hair) product I always feel it's better than the previous one that I've used. Okay, so what's nice about this one? It just made my hair more smoother than the previous one. OH really? (¬_¬)

How else can I describe hair oil then? Aren't they supposed to make my hair smooth and manageable? Okay, the previous one works just as well. But somehow I just feel it's just better at doing this job. It's actually meant for damage hair though, so maybe that's why it's just better than CC hair oil. I guess so. I'm satisfied with it for now. hahaha.

Because my hair looks messy with all the frizz, to be honest, no matter how much hair oil I apply to smoothen it, it look like it wants to fly. I have to comb it once every few hours (ideally) so it's actually hard to tame them down. I have a hard time with them but it's not like I hate my hair. It's much much better after I head to the salon for treatments. And my natural wavy hair just made my hair lively, just that it looks like it doesn't wanna stay like how it should.

SO! It was my hairstylist who can't tolerate my messy hair, and went to soften my hair by persuading me to let her do straightening this time. I haven't had straight hair in years and this brings back so memories though. I'm lucky that there's lotta discount for me so this was worth the price including the products I have to get. (^_-)-☆ And I have to emphasize that my hair now is indeed more manageable when it's super straight now, I don't have to comb so many times, it'll all just fall into place. Although I'm not used to it since it's been holy many years. And my fringe style totally changed. lol. Thanks stylist thanks. I have a sudden change in my image that I'm not even feeling I'm myself. Is this good? I feel like life is hinting at me that I should have some form of change.

2 more products added into my life and telling me to be more diligent to take good care of my hair. Oh the trouble of doing more things now lol. For beauty's sake, how can I slack! I better get myself to use up the scalp spray soon too. Oops. (≧▽≦)


Well then, let's see if a month later, will my hair still stay in place. And I think I've got the urge to change my hair again... =D

Self evaluation: Personality checklist

I was flipping through my files and found this piece of paper around, which was actually part of a notes from school about 10 years ago. lol. Here I am looking at the points again and noticed that I have seen myself differently compared to back then. I feel great to know that I have grown! (≧▽≦) Since I'm trying to know myself better, I guess it would be nice for me to note them on my blog as well. +.*☆( ˘ω˘ )☆*.+

Attributes - Present - (Past) - Thoughts
01. Aggressive → Moderate → (Not very) : How forceful can one be?
02. Ambitious → Not very → (Very) : LOL!!
03. Analytical → Not really → (Not very) : Very much the same 
04. Articulate → Kinda, I think I've improved in some way? → (Moderate) : I didn't think so about my past-self now! I thought I was much worse back then.. O_O
05. Assertive → Not that into it now at work → (Moderate) : Omg. Is this a problem?
06. Cheerful → Yes → (Moderate) : But then I think it depends on who I'm facing.
07. Competitive → NOT AT ALL → (Moderate) : I think in the past I can't bring to see myself lose, especially when it comes to grades.
08. Confident → Oh yes~ Well I'm still working on it though. → Not very: This is true though. My self-esteem was low as a teen. 
09. Conscientious → Yes definitely okay! → (Very) : yeah I still maintain it.
10. Cooperative → Yes! And I like to be guided of what is expected of me and what exactly I should do. → (Moderate) : Just don't make use of me and order me about.
11. Creative → Nope. → (Not very) : Ahhh this is so me. lol. 
12. Dependable → Yes! You can entrust the things to me and I will do it well! That is, of course when it's something that I know of. → (Very) : Anyone who knows me will know me for it hehe. 
13. Efficient → Yes!! → (Moderate) : I wasn't really sure if I really know how to make good use of my time at those times. But homework? I'll sure get them completed on time. 
14. Energetic → I'm even unsure of this now. (・・;) I'm always tired! → (Not very): And since I aged, my body gets even more lethargic if I spend the whole day out. Then I need a day of rest at least to recuperate. 
15. Enthusiastic → Yes but I have more for the things I'm interested in. → (Moderate) : I guess I was even more not so enthusiastic back then since I did little. haha.
16. Friendly → Not so, unless with people I know of. → (Moderate) : I have classmates who said that I am easy to get along with. But as I grow, I don't like to get friendly with anybody else. Who knows what those freaking strangers are up to and whether they are cheats? Don't come too close to me!
17. Industrious → Yeah I am. I always do my best. → (Moderate) : Why did I think that? Oh I was too hardworking at one point and then it drove me nuts so I lax more for the next few years.  Cos I didn't know where I was going and why do I have to work so hard for nothing... 
18. Logical → Coming up with solutions? Not my kind though. → (Not very) : I can't helped it that I'm not a problem solver. It's not as though it's an easy thing, if a solution doesn't work then what's the solution for?  Especially if an unexpected problem strikes when you're unprepared. I think it depends on your flexes how fast you can react with a smart brain, which is what I'm lacking of till now. lol.
19. Loyal → Maybe? haha. → (Not very) : It depends on how happy you are with the environment and the people too. 
20. Optimistic → Yes, better than before. → (Not very) : Because I'm afraid and worry too much about what has yet to come. Life is scary.
21. Persevering → Undaunted by setbacks? Who doesn't? It still depends on what you're facing too. There's also a tolerance limit to how much we can take. → (Moderate) : Ahh this one is true, back then I persevered at my co-curricular activity even when it turned out bad for everyone. Well, when it comes to jobs, it's even tougher to leave and get away when there's more obligations and the need for money.
22. Poised → On the outside, "yeah". On the inside, "damn, what should I do?! This sucks!!" → (Not very) : Yeah right, till now I don't expose certain emotions to people. I will try to make myself look calm before any action. 
23. Precise → Perfection? I'll only do my best. → (Very) : I was too much into perfection back then so I wanted everything to be at it's top best for me. But nope, I'm not going for it now. So long as things are over 80% in proper that's good enough for me. I don't expect so much. 
24. Self controlled → I hardly have any anger shown. Even if I'm angry, I boil inside. lol. Unless it's too much too unreasonable. → (Moderate) : Yeah I haven't show this side of me to others. I wished I can so that people will be afraid of me. HAHAHA 
25. Sincere → Oh yes for sure → (Moderate) :This deepens as I age. hehe. 
26. Tactful → Hmm maybe I am.. → (Not very) : I'm even not good at handling situations when I was younger. lol. 
27. Understanding → yeah I am. But sometimes I wonder what's the point when no one is understanding for me. Life is unfair. → (Moderate) : I need to get a grip of this. Hmph!


Wow what a long list that I've gone through! Look at me now, I'm talking so much lately. I wouldn't even dare to say a thing of my mind as a teen. Sometimes I really hate to think about it, that my past leaves me helpless. But since I got better, I don't hate myself that much anymore.

That's what growing is about, right? =)

5 things I can't live without

1. Trash bin → I always have things to discard.
2. Soap → I can't let myself feel unclean.
3. Bread → Food actually. But if I have to only pick a staple, I'll rather bread than rice. But it must be delicious bread so that I can swallow. xD
4. Water of course → Can't be dehydrated and can't afford to let my throat suffer again. =(
5. TV! → I can forego all sorts of leisure entertainment but not TV! It's what I grew up with and you can say it's my playmate? Hard for me to let go. haha. 

I'm being random alright. But I just thought of it. If I were to be on a deserted island, I'll definitely not be able to survive cos I don't know how to live without everything that I have. I'm surely not a survivor lol. But I don't care. Why should I try so hard to live in that kind of environment?  If there is no food or water around, I'll find a corner space that I feel safe and I'll slowly just let my life vanish. In a peaceful manner without food. It's better than walking around in danger and having to fight any beast or getting bitten by insects or falling into traps. I have no idea how anybody can do it. When I watch such scenes on TV I would panic and stick my eyes to it to see how they would survive. I don't know how does the urge for survival could make them so strong and bear with all that....pain? Does bravery just come when you are left with nothing? I doubt it will happen to me though. I can't face it. The first thing I'll do most probably is to cry. lol.

Okay then, I think my list of 5 things doesn't seem to be right since I said I can't live without everything. But if I can choose the top 5 only, it might be those. But then again, life would be kinda meaningless without everything else. So what's the point of living? (・_・)

Oh well, now let me throw some waste away then. *sneeze* 

Smooth hair please!

Ahhh I'm just so bad at handling my hair. (┯_┯)

It's been a month and I think I should talk about my hair condition and keep going at it!

Well, I've bought a new hair conditioner and been using it since last week. It was by far the best one I've used! Although I don't like how it smells [maybe due to vinegar?] but it seems to be effective for me! I like how quick I can leave it for just 1 minute, and the next day I'll have smooth and manageable hair in the morning. I'm impressed! Although I wonder is it really due to the conditioner or that I didn't leave it longer for the previous ones I've used [since they indicate as leave on for 1-3min then rinse]. But on usual weekdays I'm just lazy to do too much when I'm already so tired from work. I should try to do more for myself but tiredness would always stop me from doing more....lol.

One thing to note, my hair stylist did mention to me that I should wash my hair twice at one go. Meaning wash-rinse-wash-rinse. Ah~ I didn't really think of doing that at first. Well you see, this means that I have to do a little more again. But then I do realised that sometimes I feel my hair gave me the feeling that it's still not entirely clean even after washing. So oh...the trick is to wash it again!! But does that work? Again, it could be the shampoo. After I washed the 2nd time with my organic shampoo it'll leave my hair feeling too dry instead. That's what I'm afraid of that will happen. What a struggle. (-_-)

I guess after all when it comes to image [mainly on the hair I supposed], it is costly! You have to be ready to pour your money on it to look good. Hair products are something you will end up spending so much money on. For me, I'm still going little steps at it. I think I have more skincare products that I'm more attentive to and spend on often but it probably isn't so much compared to what I've to spend on my hair. Especially to the salon. If I ever become obsessed with my hair then I guess I have to spend on the tools which is gonna burn my pocket maybe. haha. I don't know what's gonna come though. DO I have to spend that much? Okay, the answer should be it depends how much do I love my hair. HAHAHA.

I don't know why I still feel kinda ache if I ended up spending on something not effective or not worth because every single cent is my hard-earned money. I do cherish and care how and what I have to spend on. Although there are times where I spend just for the sake of spending xD 

Keep working on getting better hair, Yuuka!

Shopping Saturday~ ٩(๑´3｀๑)۶

Had done my happy shopping on Saturday! It was rainy but it doesn't matter since the weather is so unpredictable lately. I'm glad there are so many sales going on!! I bought quite a lot of other stuffs too but I'm only showing a few things here lol. I even got myself 2 pajamas! Since after watching Melodee's night time routine she mentioned the benefits of wearing pajamas to bed to sleep better. Yeah for me to have another thing to spend my money on. (≧▽≦)

Well but now, I'm gonna do review for the products that I've bought some time ago so this goes:

• Fair Fluer loose powder (pink beige) : I am so happy that loose powders are still around and I can find a good one! I don't get why those big brands aren't selling loose powders anymore and even if I can find one from a cheaper brand it's not of that much quality imo. Japanese ones are just so good! Although could be too pinkish for me but I dab only a little on my face so I think it doesn't matter. It has the most sweet smelling rose scent which made me think as though I'm putting bandung on my face. haha. I think I'm pretty satisfied from using this. ❀

• EH pore tightening essence : Honestly, I just can't figure out if those pore essence work or not. I've been sticking to ZA one and I feel it's pretty okay. And both these 2 products are just skincare products that will go into my skin and making me feel better that my pores should be tighten after using them. So is this just for me to console myself? lol. But I have a huge problem with pores so this kind of product is probably something that I will have to stick to for a long long time.

• Hada labo water gel : I'm starting to be impressed with water gel now, cos they seem to be absorbed into my skin fast and leaving my skin really hydrated and comfortable the entire day. I used to stick to ZA moisturizer for many years already but recently last year I began to think I should change my moisturizer cos I don't feel that product is being effective on me anymore. My skin still feels dry after using which is weird!! Well I think it's also probably got to do with age so I need a better product for my skin this time. And indeed! I didn't regret buying this water gel cos it works so well. Just that I don't like to dip in to get the product. I'll rather pour cos it'll be more hygienic. But it has got to do with the product viscosity so that's why they'll package it that way? But how about press pumps? That would be a better way though.

Yeah I'm done with this and I still wanna do more shopping!!!  (・∪・)

Life has to be worth living by being happy each day.✨

What a coincidence! During this week, I was feeling down from work. Too many things happened lately especially with people who keep coming and going. It's just tiring to deal with different people from time to time and also customers with stupid demands that makes no sense. This all made me find work to be meaningless now. What I'm doing now is just for the sake of getting the pay and nothing else. Since I know there won't be a chance for me to learn more and progress but instead be thrown to cover shitty things in the future who knows. I don't really have a good feeling about it anymore. I'm really getting so tired from all the crap to face cos I always have to do double work. And things that can be solved by others they rather throw to me and then back to them. What's the problem with them huh? Or can I say the work process is just dumbass? What if I messed up the work cos I'm unsure? Yeah that might ended up that my co-workers will be angry with me cos they'll have to do the correction which means they'll have to deal with double work. But why am I the one to bear with it just because I'm the most junior. Fuuu~~!! But then, I'm angry with them in the first place because no one is passing instructions properly. It made me almost making a mistake which might be huge. I really wanna give them a tight slap on the face cos they like to push work about and always throw this sentence "You should ask." YOU ARE THE ONE WHO SHOULD TELL!! Who the fuck knows what you're thinking and what's right. How would I know what are the right questions to ask? Will you always answer me with patience? [Mostly, is no] Is it so difficult to give proper instruction than assume? How can you compare me with you who've worked for mushroom years? You know better but you rather sit and wait for others [me] to know what you want and do it for you. Damn, just damn!!! I'm getting so pissed with the people here. ⋋_⋌

Back to talking about meaningless. Came across that while watching a tv show at night, where the 2 characters are talking about whether life is meaningless to deal with someone who angers you and shorten your life. They're talking about a family member though, and whether she should just divorce the man, but she didn't care about what's meaningful or meaningless or not and just lead her life like this. That sounds like a loser isn't it? Why should you torture yourself and making him living off you, unless you still have the love for him. But no, they didn't even talk anything about love. I wonder is it about the responsibility she can't give up or she's just lazy to think how to improve her life. Either that we all have a choice to make, but there are people like her who are sticking with the bad ones. I just don't get it. Why do you wanna care what others think when you don't owe them a living? There's nothing wrong even if you divorce at any age, be it in your 50s. What's so ashamed about it? It's more shameful if you let people to pull you and direct your life instead of yourself even at that age. You should live a life that makes you happy, not troubled. I just don't understand her thoughts...  (¬_¬)

Okay, it's only a drama character but somehow I got affected by it lol. Well I was thinking of it in terms of my job. I'm not totally unhappy though, since I've been too used to comparing it with my previous job which was much worse. I do cherish this current one that I'm having that's why I'm always doing my best each day. But on one hand, I think those people are taking me for granted. Bet that in their minds they think I won't leave. But I will, cos I know for sure this is not the place for me to get by forever. I don't wanna get stuck. I just need to find the right time to go and be prepared for it. I'm afraid that I'll end up really getting unhappier each day until it was too obvious that everyone knows I'm gonna leave? I wanna give a shocking surprise instead. HAHAHA. Yeah I'm just dreaming but hey that day might come.....

So to the part about coincidence! I wanted to read books that would prepare me for it! And it so happens that I found those good books related to jobs that were on sale yesterday. It was such a great deal!! I'm happy for this! (⌒‐⌒) I'm so gonna finish up those books and talk about it. LIFE HAS TO BE WORTH LIVING BY BEING HAPPY EACH DAY. ~[This quote is by me. ヽ(・∀・)ノ]

Yeah I guess I do vent enough by saying so much earlier on. My reading last month was this Chinese book on independence. How a woman should be independent herself.

Well, because the mountains will fall and the people will leave, so depending on yourself is the best thing ever!

But this book doesn't give a lot of useful pointers on how to be independent. The content are mostly stories heard by the author and so she's giving us real-life examples of what some women faced. And so the conclusion is that we shouldn't depend on others but ourselves cos life will be better this way!!

Oh well, anyway I did a little quiz few days ago for the fun of it and realised it's true that I still depend on a lot of people in my life and it seems that I can't get away with it. Is reliance a bad thing? I don't know how can I get away for now when it's pretty good so far. There's just so much to do for being independent. The burden on the shoulders seem to sink a lot. lol. I guess the only way that will force me to not rely on others is when there's someone who will need to depend on me. That if I wasn't around things won't work and the world will end. (;・・) Well, that is, if indeed there is someone who needs me a lot. If not, my life will probably still be.....


Even alone, life can still be good.

But who knows what the future will bring?

Having confidence

I'm happy to see Jenn Im making a video about confidence! She has always give me the impression of being confident with herself that I tend to look up to her in all sorts of ways especially in expressing myself.  So I guess many of her viewers think the same way as I do, until that she receives so many comments to do a video about this. Just sadly I didn't participate in asking her to do such advice videos for us. haha.




Well then at least to hear from Jenn that she have her insecurities even right now just that it didn't consume her that much. It made me feel she also human and not faking too much at how great she is now. (^o^) I hope her tips will help me in some way too.

Let me note down her 5 life lessons~: 
01. Stop judging other people - People who talks bad about others are usually the ones who are insecure about themselves.
02. Look straight ahead when walking in public - Ignore having eye contact with random strangers and just walk your way.
03. Listen to a badass playlist - Music has a huge impact in your life. Stuff that makes your heart pound and confident.
04. Stretch yourself - It will hurt a little but it's the way that you grow. Stop avoiding stuffs that you don't wanna do. The more you do something, the easier it becomes.
05. You will grow into who you are as long as you absorb - NOW is the time to develop your interest, because that is gonna shape who you are.


I think the most crucial about confidence is able to identify and understand yourself, and show the world who you are. Easier said than done. lol. It's something that I'm still working on although I'm pretty much sure of myself what I'm good at and what I like to do. But probably about 60%. (・_・) I'm cool I can come up with this magical number as of now. hahaa.


Let's see if her tips do work for me or not. I might have my own ways somehow or other. This lagger is just gonna take her time~~ ♪(^ε^)-☆

Better hair this time ^_^

Yeah time for an update on my hair! Last Saturday was the forth time that I went to the salon for scalp treatment. Oops but I wasn't that diligent in using the scalp spray everyday though as times goes by. (>ω<) But at least this time my hairstylist commented lesser oily scalp than before [compared to the first time when she saw my condition] although the dead skin was found to be rather thick? O_O Anyway the hairstylist that I usually go to for the past 3 times wasn't around anymore so I'm back to my original hairstylist so hmm I hope it was good? She gave me a harder massage than a relaxing one and I was afraid that she didn't really know my scalp progress but can only compare it to the first time she saw me. But whatever, I guess. At least she still provides me with the good service except that I wished she could have been more focused on me. But it was a weekend so they were all busy and it didn't turn out super satisfactory for me. It all actually took 2hours 15 mins which is the longest time ever that I'm at in this salon. lol. I mind about it just a little, so next time I probably should always be going on weekdays instead. Yeah for such pampering session. lol.

The other thing I bought on my third session was the scalp shampoo. I can't believe that this was actually good! Damn are we consumers just can't be able to buy the right shampoo for ourselves at the store or are the shampoos sold out there are actually that bad for us? I've no idea what's the issue. The thing is, this is the best shampoo so far that I've used! It even leaves my hair feeling so soft I don't know what is this magic!!  I didn't think much about it at first it cost $38 which is more expensive than usual shampoos but after I used my current organic shampoo, everytime I just feel it left my hair kinda dry and the scalp still feels kinda oily or something. Then I must have a bad hair day the next day no matter how I comb it. (¬_¬) It's such a hassle to maintain nice hair!! Well this new shampoo helps a bit, but I'm still bad at blow drying it so it won't be that straight as what my hairstylist is able to do. I'm guilty of it. But I don't have awesome hands so I won't care about it that much still. (x_x) Since I have to return to the salon every month so my hair will still be taken care of and looks good for....a day or two at least?  (≧▽≦) Better than nothing. And I've been taking selfies of my hair everytime after it. This is at least something nice right? hahaha.

Well, it's been months since I started on the scalp treatment so I'm glad for the improvement. I do noticed lesser hair fall than before, although there was once I combed out a few strands lumped together while in the office. (・_・)  I was shocked when I saw it that time, and there was the other time it happened at home too. I guess my hair fall is still quite a problem especially during shampooing my hairstylist still see my hair coming off quite a bit. I'm so scared!!!  ｡ﾟ(ﾟ´Д｀ﾟ)ﾟ Okay, but this reminds me that I have to probably do some head massage for myself regularly at home in addition to this. Can't possibly depend everything on the hairstylist for me right. I must make myself take better care of my hair too!! Ahhhhh!!!!

Yeah, and next time when I update on my hair again, hopefully is much better than now. Bless me!

#27 lyric: Carnival

This must be the long awaited lyric that I've been wanting to post since last month but I haven't got the mood to. (・・;) I think although I've made myself wrote this, it's still not that up to my satisfaction. There are many other styles that I wanna explore too, but I haven't got myself in the mood to pen down the way I wanted it to. (x_x) I wonder when will I get to write something like Soft Ballet since I'm into their style recently. But all I can do is to have the feel of listening to their songs than coming out with anything off my head. (T_T) It just seems something is missing in me and I can't explain it. I don't know what's wrong with myself for now. But at least I have pushed myself to come up with something this time for the start for this year so this is still considered good isn't it? (^_^);

Because I wanted to try on other styles, I've been listening to other favourite bands of mine besides Kagrra and Buck-Tick. Just last month it's the Gazette although it was difficult for me initially, because their songs are always so dark and deep. It's the second time I'm trying Gazette style which will always take me a real long time to write them! Ruki style is just too hard for me to follow I wonder what is he made of lol. But anyway, since mine is lyric-focused, I wrote it ridiculously long. And as for the song that got me to it was my long-time favourite that I used to blog about it 6 years ago! That was how the inspiration came to me back then to name my blog with the word. But I don't know what exactly about it am I blogging about at that moment. (≧ω≦) lol. As for now, I just think this song needs to get more attention cos it's one of the best heavy rock song from the Gazette imo. I simply love that theme. (*ﾟ∀ﾟ*)

[Inspired by the Gazette Suicide Circus]

Carnival ( カーニバル) 
Bleeding rose, as fragile as my heart
Raining tears of desolation, I can't turn back to where I've lost

In the dark clouded sky, where nightmare comes alive
Did I live enough to be destroyed and threatened?

What do the shadows mean if they can't be hidden
The chill of goodbyes that is killing me softly
paralyzing my thoughts into pain

"Madness is enough to make me shiver along 
that the reflection of myself don't seem to exist
A weakness I can't spell out 
luring me to the dead-end of my dreams
Will you be coming for me if I was abandoned?"

From the time I was kept awake -
*Merciless won't fade away
even at the bottom of desperation
I'm in need of a heartbreak to scream along in this carnival
before Cain gets into me

Just bury my heart to where you belong
before it is announced dead before it is lost

Why do people still wish if their prayers didn't get answered
The state of disappointment that is killing me gently
paralyzing my thoughts repeatedly into pain

"The disorder that makes me shiver along 
bringing about the suspicion of my existence 
A weakness I didn't want to admit
luring me to the dead-end without you 
Can I stay asleep until I was abandoned?" 

From the time I can't turn back - 
*Merciless won't fade away
even at the bottom of desperation
I'm in need of a heartbreak to scream along in this carnival
before Cain gets into me
~~~~~
Can you see that I was trying hard? 

I wanted to scream as much as I can, 

even without you. --Yuuka

[OD] Sadly and weirdly~

Another outdated post! I'm pretty into spring cleaning everything else besides the physical items in my room. I'm set to do that for the images in my phone, my youtube channel and my emails. hahaha. How weird I only get the mood to do so for this year. Probably because after I'm done with my own items I also have to do for work since it's definitely the best that I clear and reduce as many things so that I need not bring too much over to the new place. Wow what a revamp! lol.

I feel this time round my life can turn for a new start. I'm not sure how things will go though. But it's always nice to have a good change. Yet I have a struggle recently since I organised my things way too good until.... I forget where I've placed them. (;´д｀) Darn for my forgetful brain!! I don't know if I should laugh or cry. And my memories could be messed up. lol. It took me some time to find and recall where I've placed my Japanese CD-rom that I need it to get myself to study with the book. Climbing up and down and searching for the right box that contains the thing I want to find. Yet I secretly laughed inside when the same happened to my co-workers just few days back. LOL.


Well, let's just get back to me going through all these old pictures sinking in my phone. hahaa.

^ This was last year when my friend found out this yukata instruction sheet lying on the table only after we figured out how to wear and tie the obi. (¬_¬) Why didn't this thing appear earlier? We struggled for so long. Argh, probably is just me since mine was the traditional one where I really need to get the obi done. I know I should have be familiar with it in the first place but somehow when I happened to see those on youtube tutorials they made me even frustrated after seeing how complicated and difficult it is to do that I just gave up. Then I was too tired to see anymore and do a demo first myself at home. (x_x) I'm lucky my friend was nice to observe others and figured it pretty quickly and so I shall say that she was way better than those tutorials since it's done much faster than me watching the vids. Another thing that I don't know if I should laugh or cry. Ahhhh!!!!

I'm just posting the pictures here for reference in case I need to wear it again in the future cos my brain is really limited and can't remember too much. lol. Hopefully this will evoke my memories of how obi is tied. ^_^;

^ A piece of paper I've printed out from one comic book and that's because few years ago I was kinda into ancient chinese history so this was of a good reference to me. How did that happen? haha of course from watching chinese dramas! I have an interest in those type of stories although some aren't real history related but the way they dressed and live depicts the different timeline that happen in the show. I find it interesting that I can learn a bit about the times and also those phrases that I've not heard of. It's one of the ways where I can improve my chinese since I don't need to write or read frequently. But honestly, it's a sad thing how our mother tongue became stagnant at this age since we don't really need to use much at work. Same for dialect. So it totally depends on the individual whether you wanna watch and read more on your own. Since English is pretty much used everywhere who would really care about their mother tongue right? And it's not like it's being promoted or encouraged much. Sadly this has to happen. Maybe it's just here I guess. Well what can we do anyway? We can only be self-motivated if we want to keep the language going...Otherwise it'll just get worse.

^ What a nice scenery where the flyer can be viewed from here! But honestly I can't remember when and where is this. *yeah memories lost*

^ I remember showing this picture of the few escape games to my friends that we can go and have fun. But sadly it was not realised. We have too little people around us to call and be interested in such games. (,_,) What a pity sobs.

^ A bracelet I bought for myself some time last year if I'm not wrong and I like it a lot. ^_^

^ Can't remember if I have post this anywhere. My friend in school gave me when we just know each other after a month! It was a pleasant surprise gift. No one has ever give me a present that fast when we just knew each other. lol. That happened slightly more than 10 years ago.  (・o・) It's something that I treasure a lot since you see I didn't even remove the wrapper. But sadly again, I don't know where is this anymore. It's weird that after I spring clean some stuffs go missing. I could have accidentally misplace it I don't know. It just sucks to have a brain like mine. lol.

^ Bought these 2 snacks in early December if I'm not wrong. The rice crackers expired pretty fast! That's why it was on sale anyway. haha. The red bean chocolate biscuit is the jem!! It's really really tasty!! I finished the whole packet at one go. Can't describe how great it was I'm soooo amazed at the quality of it as a chocolate. Might buy it again but somehow hope it can be cheaper. ( ´•︵•` )

^ This is canned sweet corn from Daiso! I thought it would taste good but it's just ordinary.

^ This was the macdonalds treat that I won from a friend! It was pretty nice since I don't win things often lol. Oh yeah so this reminds me the last time I won was 2 years ago in September. Aww...that seems long ago enough. (・_・) I totally enjoy this feeling of being lucky. hahaha.

Alright, I will dig more and post any of such old photos next time. Can't wait to see when my phone is complete without a mess. lol.

Anime: Death Billards

Death Billards デス・ビリヤード [movie 1 episode] → Watched a short episode of 25mins just cos I couldn't find any animes that interest me today. lol. The last time I watched Death parade was so long ago so I have vague memories about it. This story is a really short one where the roujin and that guy have to play a game of billard, in which the outcome will determine where they will go after they died. It was only after the game ended that their memories came back and they realised they were actually dead.

The outcome is quite obvious from this scene where we can see the heads on top of the elevator that says it. The thing is that I don't understand why the roujin was giving the smirk when the elevator door was closing. And what did he say to Decim?? I believe it was this part that lead him to the void. In fact I'm not that happy that the outcome from the game should be the one that determines that the winner will have a better ending. In which the guy won the game because it so happens that roujin got knocked out when they fought, so he had the chance to win.  I thought the game should be just a way to for Decim to decide the players' outcome. Or it is exactly what it is? Damn the episode does not explain clearly! Decim didn't even wanna say anything about it when the black-haired girl asked him why. This is getting on my nerves. ⋋_⋌

But anyway, I think it was something that the roujin did in the past while he was alive that lead to this ending. It probably is since he seemed to be evil. lol. But I'm just not satisfied that my doubts won't get answered. Oh well..

Still it was a good episode that started off the anime later. It would be nice if there is a second season to it cos I would love to watch how nasty humans can be in order to win when their life is at stake. Did I ever have enough of it? haha. 

[OD] Say it and it will come true?

Here I am doing a backlog of my old pictures that's still hanging in my computer. lol. This post simply is here to make me recall those memories.... So let me talk a bit about it.

^ Omg for a moment when I just read what the Coach has replied me I couldn't recall what song I'm telling him! So what else can I do besides searching for that tweet since I liked it? Damn it was of no use since Coach quote my tweet instead of replying mine. So I don't know which Kagrra song am I talking about. (>ω<) This is kinda vexing since I won't know what's going on back then but never mind. I need to post this since Coach replied me. Oops come to think of it, I have not tweeted Coach ever since. I need to remind him of Kagrra, once again when I can. And therefore this will make me have the urge to brush up on my Japanese in order to chat with him once more. hahaha.

^ Damn this took place on 02 Dec 2015. Even further from the Coach tweet! lol. I was too happy over how Swoozie likes my tweet although it's not the first time but I like his little action of liking my tweet again and again. hahaha. He never fail to make my day as well. I really appreciate how he bothers to read my tweet and comments to him since I didn't think he would care about a small fry like me but yeah, he does! So he's one youtuber I like a lot along with his jokes. Definitely one cool guy worth my support. (^ε^)

^ Ahh, lastly about this movie I've watched last year which is called Erased 僕だけがいない街. I watched the anime when it was just released in early 2016. Sadly it got removed after I only watched a few episodes from it. (x_x) Nevertheless the story was pretty good. I kinda expected the ending since the main character Satoru wanted to change the past in order to save friends and his mum, so he has to die and be 'erased' from the earth in order to do so. A sad ending but his action is really admirable and noble. I only felt pity for him that he did not get to be with the girl Airi whom he likes. Well, I believe he liked her. It looks obvious. But I'm also kinda upset that he didn't confess his feelings to her. At least something good has to happen in the show isn't it? It's just a pity that this didn't happen. (;´д｀)

At the start of the movie I got kinda bored at first since it's exactly the same as the anime to outline the plot. Anyway I'm kinda impressed how the print on the ticket still remains clear till now cos the other ticket of mine in which I watched later than Erased has already faded. Yeah I'm impressed with how the Erased ticket hasn't got erased yet LOL.

The thing that I recalled from this movie is that they mentioned about saying things out so that it will come true. If I didn't remember wrongly, they're referring to their wishes. If you said it, it will come true. This is something that has been bothering me for some time though. I don't know if saying it will make it come true or not since during birthdays when you're making a wish you don't usually say it. If it really comes true, does this mean God is answering your wishes? Or is this just coincidence? Or that you have clairvoyance and predicted the future at the right time? Or it is the level of your consciousness that resulted in the law of attraction? So what can it be?? WHICH IS THE RIGHT ANSWER? ＼（＞０＜）／ SHOULD I SAY OUT MY WISHES OR NOT?

I have not decided what I wanted to do for this so......

I might just keep it in my heart for now.

If one day it happens that when I said my wish and it did came true, that's when I'll begin to say all my wishes out ONE BY ONE.

If only it happens.

Spark the enthusiasm in me!

Yeah something that I'm happy with is that Aileen has replied to my comments on her videos!! It's very nice to know when my favourite youtuber respond to me. （＾∇＾） I tried doing so for Jenn Im (clothes encounters) a few times but she has never replied to me so I guess probably it's just hard to get noticed by really popular ones like her. Well I expected it but then, whenever I get replies it just made me feel really good that they noticed such a small fry like me haha. I just have this little urge to know whether they have read my comment and acknowledge my little presence of giving them support. (^_^);

Honestly in 2016 I watched almost all the videos Jenn im uploaded during the year [I can't remember if it's from the start of the year or the middle] since she's been actively uploading them and I like to see how her life goes. I'm probably just very envious of how outgoing she is and having such a fulfilling life better than mine and that's why I've been watching them all consistently. I think I was motivated in some way to be like her, which is why I've been actively asking my friends out too. haha. But I've no idea how this year will be like since....as for now I'm not in the mood and condition yet. Well anyway, let's be back to this:

The theme for the year really hasn't come across my mind until I saw Aileen mentioned it. So she made me think about it for a while. I guess for last year's mine would be to 'love myself' and I think I did it since I did pamper myself in some way, especially making trips to the hair salon. hehe. ｖ（=＾0＾=）ｖ

For this year, I want to be more motivated to do all the things I wanted to in my list. Therefore I decided the theme to be: Spark the enthusiasm in me!


That's when I read a blog post and thought that this certainly fits it. You show the enthusiasm when you exude that vibrant energy such as giving tips and not holding back. For promoters this is good since many of us are easily influenced by emotions and not making rational decisions mostly. Although we might ended up with a regret purchase, we will come up with reasons to convince ourselves that there is nothing wrong of us to do so.  Ahh.. so this is about having the emotions.


But of course this resulted in lots of questions that come to my mind now.
How am I going to have the right emotion of enthusiasm to complete all the goals I wanted to? The answer is that I need energy.
But then how do I have the energy? The answer should be that I need sleep. [wikihow says it in Method 3, although I'm mentioning this on purpose among all the methods. hahaha.]

Bravo. I'm doing a self-ask self-answer and I think I got them right. (≧▽≦)

Hey so does this means I have every reason to go sleep and be lazy? xD Well but I'm just joking for now. I need quality sleep, that's the thing. The problem has came back again just before the first day of work this year where I just went over a little time to do my stuffs even though I was really sleepy already. And just because of that, my sleepiness went away so it ended up that I was unable to sleep the whole night. How hateful is this. I thought this sleeping problem should have ended last year since I got better. But it seems like it's hard to resolve it. =( Well because I know it's gonna be hard for me to fall asleep if my sleepiness is over so whenever I feel sleepy I just make myself go to bed. Who knows I have to continue doing that until now?  (,_,)  So you see, sleep is still important to me. I'm trying hard to get really good sleep so that I have enough energy to do what I want when I have enough rest. (T ^ T)

But on one hand, this just boils down to use time effectively. Yet I believe I really need the sleep so that I have the mood and energy. I mean I know myself well cos I have forced myself before to study at a fixed time but it just didn't work. I'm so afraid the sleep problem will haunt me back again. It's really a pain that it continues even till now. Yet now I'm also afraid of feeling empty if I didn't achieve any of those that I wanted to do badly. It's just that.....it's really hard for me to stay energetic most of the time. And that is why I can't balance with having to work and study at the same time. It'll drain too much energy out of me and I feel I will break apart. How I wished I can really venture into another line that doesn't make me feel so tired out like now. (x_x)


Well well well...now that I've rested a bit and able to think clearly, I need music to influence my mood now. Since I've completed my spring cleaning faster than I thought, it's time to do many of those which are as important too.

I need the spark!

Happy birthday isshi-sama♪ ~ 07 Dec 2016

It's the time for me to blog about isshi's birthday once every year!

I have to work on that day so early morning I can only check out the tweets and see if Nao has mentioned about him. ♪～(´ε｀　)

I couldn't think of what else to say other than the usual birthday wish to him. [That being said cos I've not touched my Japanese for a while >_<] And I'm glad that there are Japanese fans who 'liked' my simple tweet to isshi. They wrote it better than I do! haha. But anyway, at least I've planned out and posted my old lyric to isshi on his birthday as a present to him. I'm even happier to know that this song appears to be the top of my buddy's list for my lyric writing!! (*ﾟ∀ﾟ*)☆彡

Thanks man. It's all worth that I've spent so much time on it. Although sometimes when I read back at them again, I just don't feel satisfied or happy with it.

I'm glad you like my writing so much, especially the ones I wrote for you.

I wanna write more and better ones for the upcoming year. Please give me inspiration too.

Love you guys.ヽ(*´з｀*)ﾉ

#26 lyric: 残花

I realised I'm in no time to post a November lyric like I wanted to! (>_<)  Luckily I had already got it done before November so in total I will still have a lyric post for each month. It was quite unexpected due to a turn in events and I ended up being into Kpop this November. lol.

But today, it's the special day of my dear isshi-sama, the one whom I will never ever forget of course, and I will be doing something for him once again.

To be honest, I'm kinda struggling as of now to come up with a lyric each month because I haven't been producing enough as compared to last year. It's hard to clear my mind with so many things going on. I need peace so that I can have a clear mind to write in the way I wanted.

I don't know if this would be called as the end to my lyric writing like Kagrra, [I certainly hope not!] but writing in their style has been a challenge for me. What I'm saying is that please don't pin on any high hopes for my future lyric writing. I will still be doing although at a slower pace and might not be in Kagrra, style anymore. I won't know for sure what's next that's gonna inspire me to write in another way which might be different? Other than what Buck-Tick does? It was already unexpected for me to find out that Buck-Tick is my style. But who knows what am I gonna come across next year and find another style of mine again. haha. But of course, it has been an enjoyable journey to began writing that much and to be in my own world. I love to see that I'm also slowly evolving as well and to maintain such a beautiful blog. Welcome to my mystery world!! Now isshi's Queen is gonna present her gift to her beloved man with much sorrow. This work of mine has been ringing in my heart for so long [been 2 years] and I've been hesitating to share. Because I was so afraid of reading it again I might tear. (T ^ T) But it has to be here someday, perhaps. So that I won't regret or anything if my notebook got lost one day. [touch wood!] Either way I'll just be very afraid but I have to choose the best option. This time I am truly prepared to let this lyric be seen by the whole world...


This is for you, isshi-sama ♥

[Inspired by Kagrra, 終焉の季節]

残花(ざんか)
How many times have I came to realise,
only to cherish when things became memories
Even smiles will hide behind

Can I believe coincidence is fate?
If everything happens for a reason we can't control,
it's still beautiful

*The wind blows strongly with no mercy
The rain falls flooding my emotions viciously
However I won't live in disappointment miserably
The warmth will always be surrounding me because you're around

Why are humans sorrow beings?
Why only happiness have to be short-lived yet attractive

How do I deserve this miracle,
knowing that I wasn't alone and crying
Even pain can be nostalgic

*The wind blows strongly with no mercy
The rain falls flooding my emotions viciously
However I won't live in disappointment miserably
The warmth will always be surrounding me because you're around

At least I felt the existence of us
is comforting
Even tears will hide behind

And now I can countdown to eternity
before all my petals fall off
~~~~~
This is our neverending love, isshi-sama.

Even if you didn't get to see this from me.

Thank U for your music and life. It has been so true to me.

I will be better year by year.

And I will certainly wish on your behalf for the better. .｡.:*♡ (๑ˇεˇ๑)•*¨*•.¸¸♪

~~Yuuka

Deathnote -Light up the new world- review

Almost can't believe I haven't had my own movie review in years! xD  I guess I was probably too lazy all along to write my entire thoughts of a movie, especially since most movies don't usually have great quality content. ^_^; Well well now it's about time since I'm already done with my long-awaited favourite movie!! (^o^)

Before I watched this I have read some reviews and most gave low ratings and mentioned how bad it is compared to previous movies and even to manga/anime version. But why should you even want to compare them? I know the fact that there probably won't be another person as smart as Light anymore so I wasn't expecting those guys to outwit him and made better use of the notebooks or whatever lol. But I've been waiting so long to see how the creators made this story turn out to be so I'm still looking forward to it and not having overly high expectations like what most people have. haha.

Yeah right, many people in the show died which is really a sad thing. There is one girl at the beginning who kills anybody in the streets in which I really find that an asshole. (-_-)  Oops and there are many parts in the story in which I don't get it that I have to look up at all the rules right after watching it. Why are there only 3 Shinigamis that appeared since there are 6 notebooks on Earth? Are you telling me they each own more than a book here? How about the Russian doctor? Did he see the Shinigami and is it one of those 3? It's sad that Arma, the shinigami below also died as she 'sacrificed' herself by killing the killer Nanase since Ryuzaki didn't want Mishima to die. That part of the story made me teared since it's the most touching scene in the movie. It's really silly of her to do so. (´；Д；｀) But with her kindness and not asking Ryuzaki to use the notebook has made her as my favourite shinigami now.

There were indeed many unexpected parts and I was surprised that the supposedly new Kira guy was actually Mishima although I was already wondering about him when he first stared at a picture on the wall for some time. But he looked totally innocent! And of course, that was due to his gave-up on the notebook and therefore he has lost all the memories about it. Smart move just like Light huh. But honestly, none of their strategy is as amazing as what Light can come up with ages ago. Although I was thinking what the hell that Yuki guy was trying to do with getting all the six notebooks in his hands and it turns out that he was also searching for the new Kira guy who has done all the killings but does it makes any sense? In the end he died too, with continuing writing those names of the squard coming after them. Ahh, at least now I know the reason for all six notebooks to be on Earth since Ryuk has explained it to Mishima. Well, but is creating chaos on Earth also okay for that to happen? Is it their aim to have more people to die? What to they do with it? Are they trying to hit specific number as their targets? ←[this is my stupid guess since the death king wanted a new Kira too. lol] Hmm so maybe they wanted to create a new land with lesser people and watch how they kill each other? Yeah especially if you see Ryuk! He's the shinigami that enjoys having fun so much. lol.

Okay, so there aren't as many exciting parts but the pace can be a little fast for me to realise what's going on unless I fully understood the rules already. But overall, it's still a good show to watch and it seems that it might be another one and the story could continue since Mishima made his escape....

The most admirable person of all is still the legendary Light and no one else. Maybe along with L too since he is another genius. But such exciting moments could only exist once... (┯_┯)

Hopefully the creators can make the story develop much much better if they were to really continue this movie. I enjoyed it and wasn't disappointed with it. Just that the excitement factor isn't as great as before. (._.)

Yuuka's Rating: 4/5

How to stay motivated ─=≡Σ((( つ•̀ω•́)つ

[got this off from a book on diet plan]＼(・o・)/!

● set realistc targets
● record progress, search for tips and note down any thoughts
● remember the rewards that will come after achieving the goal
● list pros and cons related to it but still will still carry out the plan  

If it's about diet, this is not gonna be applicable to me since I've been underweight almost all of my life. lol. My current BMI is at 16.4, which is still considered low. My lowest being at the age of 13, which is at 14+! I can't believe it myself, I was way too skinny that time and I remembered this classmate who made fun of me cos of that. (,_,) But no matter how much I eat I just can't gain any weight since it's very much proven that so long as I have to use my brain a lot, all my energy just goes up to my head and so no fats will be stored in my body. It's not as though I can control this well. Now I'm struggling whether to put on any weight. I just want stronger muscles this time so that I can feel that I'm strong. haha. But girls with visible muscles are kinda unsightly. I don't know, I've not made up my mind what I wanted to be. (^_^;)


As for now, I feel I want to be healthier. It's not as though I had a really bad diet [I hardly take fried food] but because I had too much outside food I feel I need to change it. I'm also getting sick at how people cook and handle the food in such a bad way that I feel I can do better than them!  (╬ ಠ益ಠ)  At least having some home-cooked food once a week would probably be better? I don't know how should I go about doing it but I guess I should start from something simple. Somehow it was that garden/caesar salad I ate the other day that sparked the love I have for salads. In the recent years I began to be more willing to pay for salads when I'm out with my friends for food. Some of them just won't wanna eat that probably cos they think it isn't worth? Yeah the ingredients are simple and so easy to make, so why pay for it at that price? But I ended up choosing salads because I don't want a full heavy meal. The fresh raw vegetables will make my stomach feel clean and better. I don't think it's not worth so long as I get satisfied from it. And yeah, for that point → 'why not I just make it myself at home?' I can add whatever ingredients I like! And it doesn't take too much time. It's simple enough to start with. So that's how this began. I'm saying this shall be my new goal in making food at home and that's how my motivation comes. haha.

● have a favourite quote up on the wall or a picture/poster of the person whom you aspire to be to keep reminding you about it.

Honestly, I don't know if putting up a poster will work that well, cos I think I will get used to seeing it until I feel nothing. It'll probably act more like a decoration up the wall more than anything else. Now I don't even have any female posters on my wall. I don't think my eyes will open to look at it. lol. Anyway I've dump them all [which are mostly of the queen] and that doesn't even bother me at all.

But what I've learned this year [in which became my philosophy now] is.... not to waste the item's life.

If I've bought it, make full use of it. If it doesn't suit me, give it to somebody else who would probably need it better than I do. Don't keep it until it expires and to be thrown away. It's really that simple. Take it or leave it. Make the freaking right decision of my purchase. lol.

So seriously, what motivates me now? I think it can come from everywhere. Mainly if I'm very sure of what I wanted to achieve. I don't need to look up to a particular person anymore. I will be sure of myself that what I'm doing is at the best interest for myself and that's how it's gonna be. I can be a better person than I can imagine that I'll be. If anyone can do it, so can I. I will believe that and do better with all the projects I've given to myself. And so, my new year will also be this great. (^_^)

Can you really smooth my skin away?

I wanted to do a little update since I have the time. I have been really satisfied with the Maikohan BB cream I bought last month. (*^◯^*) It just suits me perfectly with the nice fragrance and the powdery feel after applying onto my face. Just like the CC cream that I'm still using now. I'm really starting to love Japanese BB/CC creams cos they are the only ones that I'm satisfied with so far. It seems that I'm hardly using Korean products now but it doesn't really matter though. (-｡-;) I only care about what works for me rather than what's more popular around. haha.

My recent purchases are only these 2 items! That's kinda pathetic but I think it's best if I buy things that I really need than getting more than what I need? haha anyway I was searching for this product for a long time! I remember there is such where it can remove body hair but I just couldn't find it at the drugstore. I thought I've seen it sold somewhere before but just that I didn't make myself buy it. Now that I saw it with the video playing at Tokyu Hands I know I have to get it! It's definitely better than having to remove hair by other means like waxing right! I've even tried out the product at that time and it did removed some of those fine hairs on my arm so it should be fine right......?

Until I tried it out today, I would say better use with caution!! (┯_┯)

This stuff really works. But it's like how I use the product in the right way. It's kinda tough so to speak. Those girls in the video sample looked so relaxed and made it so easy to use, but I need so much time to remove those hairs. Yeah in circular motion. I did my best and for a moment when I suddenly feel my skin had that airy feeling [where there's no hair present there anymore] it feels scary! Then I saw some of my pores opened up, there's like a little blood oozing in one pore? Did I scrub that hard? I believe I did rather gently already. But I think I should do the entire arm since I'm already at it. Then I feel pain on one patch of my skin. I HAVE OVERSCRUBBED THE AREA WITHOUT REALISING. I will only know after I'm done with the area without seeing the hairs there. It hurts damn it!! ヽ(≧Д≦)ノ

Well it's supposed not to hurt at all when using it. When I was in the shop trying it didn't hurt at all. How would I expect this to happen while I'm at home? It's hard to figure it. If I do it with a fixed number of circles [let's say 5] the hairs will be unevenly removed. That's such a dilemma. Should I leave it or should I continue to remove some of those left behind? It's so hard! It's not as though our skin is entirely a flat surface. (ﾟOﾟ)

Okay, since I've bought it anyway I will still continue the product of course. But argh I'm still kinda scared. And sad it didn't work to my satisfaction. Nevertheless it's still pretty convenient. It isn't a permanent solution so you have to keep using it and replace the pads. Is it worth afterall? Maybe, maybe not..?

Then I got Hada labo water gel since I'm still looking for the best moisturizer for my face, but I've yet to use it. Shall review it the next time. I'm..... gonna do something about my broken skin now. Sob. (ó﹏ò｡)