#27 lyric: Carnival

This must be the long awaited lyric that I've been wanting to post since last month but I haven't got the mood to. (・・;) I think although I've made myself wrote this, it's still not that up to my satisfaction. There are many other styles that I wanna explore too, but I haven't got myself in the mood to pen down the way I wanted it to. (x_x) I wonder when will I get to write something like Soft Ballet since I'm into their style recently. But all I can do is to have the feel of listening to their songs than coming out with anything off my head. (T_T) It just seems something is missing in me and I can't explain it. I don't know what's wrong with myself for now. But at least I have pushed myself to come up with something this time for the start for this year so this is still considered good isn't it? (^_^);

Because I wanted to try on other styles, I've been listening to other favourite bands of mine besides Kagrra and Buck-Tick. Just last month it's the Gazette although it was difficult for me initially, because their songs are always so dark and deep. It's the second time I'm trying Gazette style which will always take me a real long time to write them! Ruki style is just too hard for me to follow I wonder what is he made of lol. But anyway, since mine is lyric-focused, I wrote it ridiculously long. And as for the song that got me to it was my long-time favourite that I used to blog about it 6 years ago! That was how the inspiration came to me back then to name my blog with the word. But I don't know what exactly about it am I blogging about at that moment. (≧ω≦) lol. As for now, I just think this song needs to get more attention cos it's one of the best heavy rock song from the Gazette imo. I simply love that theme. (*ﾟ∀ﾟ*)

[Inspired by the Gazette Suicide Circus]

Carnival ( カーニバル) 
Bleeding rose, as fragile as my heart
Raining tears of desolation, I can't turn back to where I've lost

In the dark clouded sky, where nightmare comes alive
Did I live enough to be destroyed and threatened?

What do the shadows mean if they can't be hidden
The chill of goodbyes that is killing me softly
paralyzing my thoughts into pain

"Madness is enough to make me shiver along 
that the reflection of myself don't seem to exist
A weakness I can't spell out 
luring me to the dead-end of my dreams
Will you be coming for me if I was abandoned?"

From the time I was kept awake -
*Merciless won't fade away
even at the bottom of desperation
I'm in need of a heartbreak to scream along in this carnival
before Cain gets into me

Just bury my heart to where you belong
before it is announced dead before it is lost

Why do people still wish if their prayers didn't get answered
The state of disappointment that is killing me gently
paralyzing my thoughts repeatedly into pain

"The disorder that makes me shiver along 
bringing about the suspicion of my existence 
A weakness I didn't want to admit
luring me to the dead-end without you 
Can I stay asleep until I was abandoned?" 

From the time I can't turn back - 
*Merciless won't fade away
even at the bottom of desperation
I'm in need of a heartbreak to scream along in this carnival
before Cain gets into me
~~~~~
Can you see that I was trying hard? 

I wanted to scream as much as I can, 

even without you. --Yuuka

#26 lyric: 残花

I realised I'm in no time to post a November lyric like I wanted to! (>_<)  Luckily I had already got it done before November so in total I will still have a lyric post for each month. It was quite unexpected due to a turn in events and I ended up being into Kpop this November. lol.

But today, it's the special day of my dear isshi-sama, the one whom I will never ever forget of course, and I will be doing something for him once again.

To be honest, I'm kinda struggling as of now to come up with a lyric each month because I haven't been producing enough as compared to last year. It's hard to clear my mind with so many things going on. I need peace so that I can have a clear mind to write in the way I wanted.

I don't know if this would be called as the end to my lyric writing like Kagrra, [I certainly hope not!] but writing in their style has been a challenge for me. What I'm saying is that please don't pin on any high hopes for my future lyric writing. I will still be doing although at a slower pace and might not be in Kagrra, style anymore. I won't know for sure what's next that's gonna inspire me to write in another way which might be different? Other than what Buck-Tick does? It was already unexpected for me to find out that Buck-Tick is my style. But who knows what am I gonna come across next year and find another style of mine again. haha. But of course, it has been an enjoyable journey to began writing that much and to be in my own world. I love to see that I'm also slowly evolving as well and to maintain such a beautiful blog. Welcome to my mystery world!! Now isshi's Queen is gonna present her gift to her beloved man with much sorrow. This work of mine has been ringing in my heart for so long [been 2 years] and I've been hesitating to share. Because I was so afraid of reading it again I might tear. (T ^ T) But it has to be here someday, perhaps. So that I won't regret or anything if my notebook got lost one day. [touch wood!] Either way I'll just be very afraid but I have to choose the best option. This time I am truly prepared to let this lyric be seen by the whole world...


This is for you, isshi-sama ♥

[Inspired by Kagrra, 終焉の季節]

残花(ざんか)
How many times have I came to realise,
only to cherish when things became memories
Even smiles will hide behind

Can I believe coincidence is fate?
If everything happens for a reason we can't control,
it's still beautiful

*The wind blows strongly with no mercy
The rain falls flooding my emotions viciously
However I won't live in disappointment miserably
The warmth will always be surrounding me because you're around

Why are humans sorrow beings?
Why only happiness have to be short-lived yet attractive

How do I deserve this miracle,
knowing that I wasn't alone and crying
Even pain can be nostalgic

*The wind blows strongly with no mercy
The rain falls flooding my emotions viciously
However I won't live in disappointment miserably
The warmth will always be surrounding me because you're around

At least I felt the existence of us
is comforting
Even tears will hide behind

And now I can countdown to eternity
before all my petals fall off
~~~~~
This is our neverending love, isshi-sama.

Even if you didn't get to see this from me.

Thank U for your music and life. It has been so true to me.

I will be better year by year.

And I will certainly wish on your behalf for the better. .｡.:*♡ (๑ˇεˇ๑)•*¨*•.¸¸♪

~~Yuuka

#25 lyric: Nowhere

Somehow I can't wait to post this lyric although November hasn't yet come. I wanna release this latest work of mine cos I feel like it! I mean it's a reflect of my current state feelings so I wanna get it out all to feel better. Man this was fast! I didn't expect this either. I'm definitely back to square one now and not hoping for more. I'm currently just enjoying my time with friends whom are true so I wanna cherish them well. I'm no longer in the condition to think of anything else. I just want my life to be in good order. And also to be ready for the next year and start thinking of new plans if possible. I need to get myself back all good. (o・・o)/

With that, the song I was inspired by is a 'death' song that I deemed it to be some time ago. Cos since I've teared and cried quite a bit too for that week.... (´；Д；｀)

[Inspired by BUCK-TICK NOT FOUND]

Nowhere (いない)
Filthy ashes fluttering as my tears fall
I died along with your disinclination
Trapped in a hazy maze,
I didn't know where to walk from here

The heart of mine that has went missing
Searching for you whom
were never once here at all

*Disappearance, spoke louder than my fears that won't fly away

Your lies that has left me the only one counting
questioning my presence as though it was a joke to begin with
Will I have the courage to face it again?

The dream of mine that has went missing
Searching for you whom
were never once here at all

*Disappearance, spoke louder than my fears that won't fly away

*Disappearance, break me apart more than how I can scream away

*Captivating, was how my life has ended even if I'm laying beside you

*Captivating, was how my pain has turned into scars I can never erased

*Disappearance, even when you dig deeper and found none... 
~~~~~
This person is probably dead in me.

When time would tell everything...

and me having to stop being foolish on my part. 

~~Yuuka

#24 lyric: A Lover's whisper

As I'm writing this post now [17 Sept], it's actually on a very nice lazy Saturday of mine where I just got my lyric for October done! Well, I've been scheduling my posts as usual and somehow I just can't wait to get my lyrics posted this time since I'm all set to get my October lyric done as soon as I can. So 2 Saturdays later and this lyrics will get to see the world. How marvelous. lol.

It's a wonder actually, this 90s song just suddenly appeared in my head all day, as if to hint to me that I have to get one done similar to this as much as how this reflects my current feeling. Yeah, this is probably a little secret of mine that I'm letting the world to see through my lyrics. Well how impressed I am with myself now lol.

[Inspired by BUCK-TICK Bran-new lover]

A Lover's whisper
The wind carries everything away even my desires
How beautiful it is, to lose it all and start over again
I didn't even want to break free

Sure the storm ahead reminds me of loneliness
but silence pains me as I sat worn and abandoned
I no longer miss a thing

*At the end let's be ready for our goodbyes
The only thing I want now is to hold you close

While I'm trying hard to lessen my guilt,
you would happen to be right beside me
Could we be lovers in disguise?

Sure I would love to turn every bitter and sweet
moments into a love story
but could this be my wishful thinking?

*Before the ending comes, I might not be ready for goodbyes
The only thing I hope is to vanish before being found

*At the end I might forget all that I've lost
and be left with a broken heart until we could meet...
~~~~~
It is that....I just want to be with you.

but could this be my wishful thinking?

I don't want the goodbyes as you know....not at all.

~~Yuuka

#23 lyric: 舞蝶

Yes!! I'm all set to release this dark rock song of mine for September. It just happens somehow while I was deciding which to be posted here, and since recently at the start of this month I wasn't feeling entirely good, and rock songs gave me the feels once more. I love listening to dark ones cos they appeal to my heart so much. I feel I was revived in other way. I don't know why there is just this side of me but probably that's because all the years in my life I have been keeping many things inside my heart. At some point of time I feel I wanted to burst and be rebellious, but I just can't. I can't go against my principles too. And perhaps slowly, all these that build up inside me turned into something that cannot be gone anymore. I guess I can give it a name, but I've no idea which is the best as of now. haha. But let's just zoom into my masterpiece anyway. ♪～(´ε｀　)

[Inspired by BUCK-TICK 喋喋]

舞蝶(まいちょう)
Darkness, they run through me
happily they leaked out a secret
If I burst into tears and enter this door,
I'm never gonna return

Dreams and lovers
like insects, they crumble
out of desire, out of control

*I'm that dancing butterfly
with the freedom you dreamt of
It doesn't matter
I don't have to watch the clock ticking anymore
If death chooses me,
I'll gladly accept

Fear, is quieter than I thought
I'm devouring too much I can't stop trembling
It's easy when I can smile to myself
when it's gonna hurt me like it used to

Guilt and dejection
like rocks, they sink
out of replusion, out of control

*I'm that dancing butterfly
with the freedom you dreamt of
It doesn't matter
I don't have to watch the clock ticking anymore
If death chooses me,
I'll no longer hesitate
~~~~~
I embrace this dark side of myself in fact.

Only then that is where I can come up with something like that,

that made me feel a lot better and understand myself better.

And my love for Buck-tick has gotten stronger too.

Definitely something to be proud of afterall.

~~Yuuka

#22 lyric: インフィニティ

Sorry to be late for the July lyric post! Starting this year I know I have not been writing enough lately. Been too occupied with every other thing else in my life and also constantly yearning for rest that I don't have as much inspiration going on inside my head as compared to last year. For this I have to say, that from next year onwards I'll take it slow and release whenever I feel like it, instead of making myself post every month. Coming up with 12 lyrics a year has became kinda tough for me since I only wanna release those that can be seen by anyone else here. I did wrote a lot in the past but I just don't find them appropriate to be seen by the rest of the world. Honestly I wanna keep some to myself too, and so this will make me try to write more. I can't explain why I do so but that's just how this goes for me. I think this is quite a good way for me after all since I'm comfortable with it. (｀･ω･)っ彡/

And so all I'm left with is to come up with at least 2 lyrics for this year since I've already planned a precious song to isshi long ago for his birthday in December [and that was also something I've written long ago too]. I guess that's what I can do best for this year at least. Although I've been feeling kinda guilty lately for being into Buck-tick more than Kagrra now. Well my source of inspiration could come from different places as long as I can write something of my style right? I believe isshi would never blame me and neither should I do that to myself. I didn't forget him nor ignore him at all. But I'm kinda losing touch with Japanese and on one hand it's just hard to deal with so many things on one go.  "Should I take a break so that I can get pumped up again and will do more than before?" That's always the thought that goes inside my head and then I'll get lost again. Guilt and patience torture me too much nowadays. I really need a solution to all that problems. Argh.

Anyway, on to the lyric that was supposed to be an encouraging one... I hope I did well nonetheless. ^_^

[Inspired by BUCK-TICK Galaxy]

インフィニティ infinity
The love I never once thought will break me apart
has started darkening the skies
What can I do as I hugged and cried

Chasing a dream we can never call as reality
I sank my head, recalling how lies overtook me
What can I believe in, when nothing has come true

Just when you think everything is over,
somehow that ray reaches you...

*The night is not for nightmares as you thought
but a time for you to dream a beautiful dream
Hey, living is nothing but just a dream
just spread your wings and let go of all the worries
There's nothing to be fearful of anymore

Turning my back away from love so as to believe I'm strong enough to stand again
But only to realise I'm shivering with uncertainties and to fall down again
How am I to look up as I came to be wrong once more

The nightmares in the night...

If life is a tragic for us to believe,
then why can't we stop running?

*The night is not for nightmares as you thought
but a time for you to dream a beautiful dream
Hey, living is nothing but just a dream
just spread your wings and let go of all the worries
There's nothing to be fearful of anymore

Let my heart be unstoppable
~~~~~
As we came to know more and go through more,

we can be a fearless person...

There shall be nothing that hold us back now.

~~Yuuka

#21 lyric: 祈誓

Hey buddy! I know I'm really late for my lyric posting every month and I've just missed doing one for July lol. You know what, I'm skipping that one for the mo, since now it's August and I wanted to give you a surprise cos I know you've been feeling down lately with so many things that happened. This is my gift to you once again, for your birthday this year. I hope this would make your special day a lot better even if you can't get your tattoo on time. My lyric for August! In which I tried very hard to get this done as soon as I can since I was occupied for the whole month of July. (^_^;) It may not be the best I've written but it's really fresh from the oven [from my hot fried brain xD] so this is something nice about. haha. All thanks to you mentioning the Kagrra, song where I get my inspiration from. (-^〇^-) May you love this one too~♥

[Inspired by Kagrra, 誓ノ月]


祈誓(キセイ)
The night has come to tell what I was dreaming of
Swaying in a daze where we called fate,
my quivering wish for eternity keeps echoing without rest

If I'm chained to misery, I can never breathe

*The moon is shining brightly as if to say it never wanted farewell
Wouldn't it be great if promise would do the same?

The fragments of my memories may be out of reach
but I'm never going to get it back without you

If I have to be in dismay, I can never soar

*The moon is shining brightly as if to say it never wanted farewell
Wouldn't it be great if promise would do the same?

As we keep love in our hands,
even in the freezing night
the warmth will keep us alive

Even as I cry,
I'll pause and let you lay by my side

*The moon is shining brightly as if to say it will never invite farewell
Just like the promise we hold so true together

~~~~~
I'm very happy I can write this beautiful song for you. I never noticed Chikai no tsuki that much initially since I find it kinda noisy, but you made me love it this time.

You know you meant a lot to me too.

Happy birthday my dear Snolax Shua! (u_u)。。。zzzZZ

#20 lyric: Azrael

This is my lyric for June! I have been coming across this Buck Tick's dark song in which I love and recalled that I've written something like that many months ago last year. It all started with this tweet in which I feel probably this means it's time to revive that dark feelings again. lol.

As much as I think mine may not be as great as Atsushi's but I feel this song has brought out so much power! I enjoyed watching as they perform the song live. It's as if you got all in your hands and capable of doing anything. It's really really the only song I feel it overwhelmed me in such a strong way. xD

[Inspired by BUCK-TICK 夢魔-The Nightmare]

Azrael
Soaked in the cloud of darkness,
I'm the fallen angel longing to be taken over

Repression builds up day by day, a life that I have devoured away
I'm the spirit wanting to be dyed in a pool of blood

Sins crawling towards me, how can I stop

On the cold ground where I stand,
chasing misdeed one after another
I'm the fallen angel whom has lost his soul

The desire-turned-nightmare that devoured my only life away
I'm the spirit wanting to be drenched in a pool of blood

Filth crawling towards me shamelessly, who can be here to stop it

A world of cruelty that exist,
seeing too much that my heart goes mad
With endless screams playing,
should they be left alone?

*Soaked in the cloud of darkness,
I'm the fallen angel longing to be taken over

A life that I have devoured away
I'm the spirit wanting to be dyed in a pool of blood

Chasing misdeed one after another
I'm the fallen angel whom has lost his soul

The desire-turned-nightmare that devoured my only life away
I'm the spirit wanting to be drenched in a pool of blood*

Crying souls of tonight,
should they be left alone? 

~~~~~
Feeling dark with power,...

Watch me with fear! 

~~Yuuka

#19 lyric: 望

Here comes my lyric meant for May! Gosh, it took me long enough to get this posted. But yeah as you know, I haven't been able to write a thing since May actually. And just nice on this beautiful Sunday I was able to write something that flows nicely like my favourite song of all time since no one's around to disturb me. What a rare chance lol. I know on one hand I was worried if I will ruin my top favourite Kagrra, song but I think I should just write it with all my heart, with the peace inside me. I will do the best that I can and not hesitate too much or else how will I ever get it done at any time. haha. Yeah, I managed to do this now, but I'm still left with 7 more lyrics to go where I haven't yet decided which and what to post. (>_<)

A really short one this time and the arrangement is also the same as Omou. I wonder why I ended up doing this for my songs in May. (^_^;)

[Inspired by Kagrra, 憶]

望（ぼう） Moon/Aspiration
The moon that represents the remembrance of my heart

Where thoughts are mindless, they keep pouring like rain
With the existence of no beginning and no end,
I'm drifting along like roaming river

*The moon that represents the remembrance of my heart
returning my faith to me that was long forgotten

Waves sweeping away imprints of sand
returning all things into ashes
Even memories will have to say goodbye

*The moon that represents the remembrance of my heart
returning my faith to me that was long forgotten

Feelings of eternity,
hold back time like it should

*The moon that represents the remembrance of my heart
returning my faith to me that was long forgotten

Drifting flowers like snow

~~~~~
I hope you are here to see,  

what I have written with you in mind. 

~~Yuuka 

#18 lyric: 春風

I must mention how much this mean to me!! Finally I'm able to write my kind of spring song just like my favourite Kagrra, happy song! So it took me a year to be able to write as I wanted. lol. Well then, it's not too bad cos at least I managed to do it, although I keep wondering when can I. Inspiration is quite a nasty thing. Lots of things can be going inside my head but the right kind of flow may not be there. I'm really happy that I'm able to release this at the right time, since it's still spring in Japan right? I hope the feeling is there~ it should be!

[Inspired by Kagrra, 春麗ら]

春風（はるかぜ） Spring breeze
In this long awaited spring,
I came to receive you with a lonely heart

Peaceful flowers softly let out a sigh I didn't notice
Regretfully, it took me long enough to understand
what is most precious to me

Beneath the emptiness of my heart,
I have to cry sometimes
as exhaustion is draining my happiness

*In this long awaited spring,
I get to see your smile once again
diminishing my despairing thoughts
As what my dream has told me,
nothing would be as fearful as giving up
For that, I won't keep my wings away again

Your spirit that began to thrive in me
calmly reaching to the deepest guilt I can never get rid of
How long will everything last?
Regretfully, I leave a tear like yesterday

*In this long awaited spring,
I get to see your smile once again
diminishing my despairing thoughts
As what my dream has told me,
nothing would be as fearful as giving up
For that, I won't keep my wings away again

As aspiration filled up my heart
comforting me as though it were to be you
I let out a smile I'm sure you would like to see

*In this long awaited spring,
I get to see your smile once again
diminishing my despairing thoughts
As what my dream has told me,
nothing would be as fearful as giving up
For that, I won't keep my wings away again

"Hug me just like the wind"
as the spring says...

~~~~~
I'm very much trying to have the arrangement the same as Haru Urara and have the same set of chorus repeated. lol. 

As far as this goes, this is the kind of positivity that I can come up with. 

The kind of beauty and happiness that Isshi has given me, that I can be able to possess them. 

I won't keep my wings away again.

~~Yuuka

17th lyric release - L'appel du Vide

Here comes my lyric meant for February! I was really addicted to Buck-Tick's beauty song lol. It made me a lot happier in the mornings when I listened to it on the way to work. I love how they have such hyper songs cos they do lift up my mood. Those are really an addiction that I couldn't get rid of! Haha. But anyway, why would I get rid of them? I'm more than happy enough to be mesmerized with them so much. hehehehe. (♥ŐωŐ♥)

And do I have to mention? It's the first time I'm using French as the title. My lyrics ended up as a sad rather than a happy song too. (^_^;) But it's definitely how it will to turn out to be...

[Inspired by BUCK-TICK 独壇場Beauty]

L'appel du Vide
Beauty could just rot away, like my heart...
At the end of the night,
it has sent me flying

Fear could just be blown away, like my life...
Seriousness is not my game
I need not be awaken

*Believing is all but a lie
Drenched in rage, I whirl around in turmoil

Love could have vanished, just like my soul...
Panting and ending in screams,
it has set me free

In a blink the world where I dreamt of,
is waving goodbye

Undisturbed by passion,
I cling on to eternity that never comes

*Where all is lost, 
Believing is all but a lie
Sank in despair, I dance to the next storm

~~~~~
I'm still trying to grasp the real beauty

that is sinking inside me.

~~Yuuka 

16th lyric release - Flowers of despair

Ahhh, it's already April and there's been so much going on that I've missed the time to post my lyrics monthly as I would like to. (>_<) I'm really sorry towards myself and my dear blog. lol.  So as of now I'm lagging behind with 3 lyric posts. But I wanna find the right mood to choose which I wanna release for the month. Yet I guess now this doesn't really matter since my mood goes up and down anyway. (；´Д｀) So please check out my lyrics posts that's coming up when I feel like posting them asap so that I can catch up with what I wanna convey for the month... Anyways, I hope anyone will say they like it as much as I do! （・□・；）

A depressing one this time... when I was all sad just last month.

[Inspired by BUCK-TICK - メランコリア-]

Flowers of despair
Glass of desires
Heart of stone
This stage where I'm dancing, all alone
and the only audience who will applause
is acting too

Gazing at the moonlight
white feathers are falling off me
Covered by darkness, I'm no longer myself

*Deep romance they pricked with no shame
Who is there to hold my frozen hand dripping in red
Buried in withered flowers,
let me drink to the last drop

Chains of distress
Song of contempt
This stage where I am, acting all alone
for the only audience who is dancing...

Fascinated by the moonlight,
I bring my smile to the darkness before me
As the feathers are leaving me,
I'm no longer myself

*Deep romance they pricked with no shame
Who is there to hold my frozen hand dripping in red
Buried in withered flowers,
let me drink to the last drop

The final scene of myself
dancing and acting without a trace...

~~~~~
The stage is all mine now.

I'm learning to be myself all over again..

~~Yuuka

15th lyric release - Dulcet

I'm currently obsessed with Buck-tick songs and trying to get their songs into me so that I can write the kind of lyrics I want. It's been more than a month already and I still haven't yet got a full song written since. It's as though I have a mental block. lol. I hate how busyness and tiredness has eaten away my inspiration. But for now, I don't wanna leave my blog empty without a lyric post as what I usually do every month. So I shall post one from last year's work.  A positive song shall be a good start and reminder for me to go on. I hope I can find it back soon. (・∪・)

[Inspired by BUCK-TICK MISS TAKE～僕はミス・テイク～]

Dulcet 
My memories are going in a twirl
slowly melting away my desires

How can only beginnings be sweet
and leaving us in pain thereafter

If the presence of love destroys me,
let me be gone just as it is

*Look at the path ahead that we can't escape
I've became an Angel of my own
Worries shall flow to neverland
Nothing can slow me down

What have I left behind that I need to search for again?
Must changes be the reason to make us stronger?

If love turns out as a tragic,
I don't want to recall a thing

*Look at the path ahead that we can't escape
I've became an Angel of my own
Worries shall flow to neverland
Nothing can slow me down

*Look at the path ahead that we can't escape
I've became an Angel of my own
Freedom that once swept past me
I will not stop flying

~~~~~
Am I the only one who could encourage myself at this moment? 

I need the strength, but I don't wanna recall a thing for now...

~~Yuuka

14th lyric release - 恋心

I've been wanting to write some sort of love song for some time, and just nice this would be a beautiful piece as my present to isshi, since I can get this song done before his birthday!! I wanted to do a happy song but it just doesn't come out from me naturally, after all lol. But anyway, I should probably do whatever I can when inspiration comes. I'm glad I'm able to get this done as what I've mentioned last month. I wanna have a nice song as the end to this year's lyric project as well as something I can feel happy about for giving it to isshi. Well December just has to be the best time of the year I supposed? Haha. At least this is what I can do best. I hope isshi receives my present with love too, although there's no Japanese here for him to see now. This song shall represent my blog, since I got inspired by the song as my blog title. Finally I feel there's even more meaning to my lyric work now. (*'▽'*) I hope that isshi feels it as much as I do. This is the love I have for him.♥

[Inspired by Kagrra, 戀]

恋心(こいごころ)
My heart got captured along the path where the moonlight shines
Longing and waiting for no return
I endure my tears from falling

If I look back at those days with a heavy heart,
I'm with you once more

*Your dream echoes in my memories
filling everything with colors
Unaware of the pain I was carrying,
my scar has changed into a smile

The flowers that have bloomed later than usual
has filled me with anticipation
wiping the misery I once have

If I burned my past away,
am I sending them to you instead

Even when the sky changes and my footsteps came to a stop,
you always remained where you are
with the smile that I can't bid goodbye

*Your dream continues to echo in my memories
filling everything with colors
Unaware of the pain I was carrying,
my scar has changed into a smile

Even if I close my eyes,
I'll never have to cry again

Even now~~

~~~~~
Happy birthday my isshi-sama. I'm sure this is the love you have given me.

May our love continue like this, and with your dream in me. 

I'm sure you are here as always.

With neverending love,

~~Yuuka

13th lyric release - み使い

I've been wanting to write something about Angels, but just that I can't really get myself to write in a positive way somehow. I'm just doing my best in my own way. Coming up with a name for the song is also a bit of challenge. lol. Anyway, I suddenly feel that this song is also about the topic of dream that I mentioned about in my previous lyric, but in a different way. I'm not sure how to put it though. Well well, never mind that's not the focus. This one is somewhat my current feelings now, so I just wanna show it here. BUCK-TICK's song is referring to an insect, I wrote one about that too, but it's the melody that's similar here. Whatever it is, please tell me if there's any positivity in this work of mine cos I just hope there is a little. Whatever am I saying. lol. (>ω<)

[Inspired by BUCK-TICK 羽虫のように]

み使い(みつかい)
Angels, they dropped by with that smile
blocking the moonlight I see everyday
I could probably fly with that belief
but all I have is a broken wing

Sure, I've dreamt more than enough
and it gets meaningless
If the world I perceive is a facade,
why can't I be taken away instead?

*Love like this, isn't enough
Give me a reason to breathe
without doubting
Love like this, isn't easy
Being alive seemed good
If only I understood why

Falling over countless times I'm afraid to move further
just like my heart, it gets drained soundlessly
Since it gets distasteful,
I could only keep it under wraps

Sure, I've imagined way too much
and it gets meaningless
If the world I before me is a facade,
just take me away instead

**Love like this, isn't enough
Tell me the reason of my existence
without doubting
Love like this, isn't easy
Being awake seemed good
If only I understood why

*Love like this, isn't enough
Give me a reason to breathe
without doubting
Love like this, isn't easy
Being alive seemed good
If only I understood why

~~~~~
Sure, I'm the one who wants to be an Angel instead. But I have my struggles. 

Will I ever be strong enough for myself and others? 

If only I understood why, and everything. 

~~Yuuka

12th lyric release - 風上

I've been deciding for sometime what's the best song for this November. I've no idea what to go with... I can't quite tell how my mood is like now this month. Probably I wasn't really thinking about anything cos I'm just so tired. Well but one good thing is that talking with my buddy can somehow allow me to decide on the song, I'll choose the one that I was inspired by which is the one he likes too, coincidentally. lol. Hopefully this song fits cos it feels so much like autumn. I'm not sure if it's still autumn now though. (^_^;) 
Anyway I also wanted to post more of my dark songs too. I just feel better in doing so cos I write tons of such (;´д｀) So as an announcement: I've decided to release 2 songs for this month!! Watch out for the next one next week!! (^_-)-☆  This is just so that I can make the 14th release for isshi in Dec! 14 would be a very nice number for him! hahaha. I hope this is a cool thing. Pray that I'll be able to get it done by then too!

[Inspired by Kagrra, 幻惑の情景]

風上（かぜかみ）
*Ah...the wind that blows and blows
bringing my dream far away out
**Ah...the time that flows and flows
taking my soul to a better place...

As I sleep this time away,
what have I lost? when I enter this dreamland

This world has been too dazzling,
I can't even see what's right before me
How will I be able to go to the right direction
without missing out the beautiful things in life

Somewhere out there, shall be something worth for us to seek
ever so far reaching, I can't bear the distance

*Ah...the wind that blows and blows
bringing my dream far away out
**Ah...the time that flows and flows
taking my soul to a better place...

As tenderness slips away from my hands,
where will you be heading to

How far can I go
with this dazzling sky watching me to an endless road
that I have to walk alone

Somewhere out there,
the wind that carried me away
is comforting me gently like before

**Ah...the time that flows and flows
taking my soul to a better place...

If I can get to see you along the way,
I will no longer let go...

 ~~~~~
The first I wrote is rather short, so I modified and make this a little longer. 

I can't say I like it that much cos I have better songs that meant more to me. 

But I guess this is still considered a nice one like Kagrra,'s way. So I release it here. (・∪・) 

May you feel the wind too...

~~Yuuka 

11th lyric release - tearful clown

I was feeling down some time ago,..well my feelings are just up and down all along. But of course, the good thing is that I can write lyrics out when I'm feeling that unhappy. Or to say that I write so as to feel better, although I still feel what I feel from my work. lol. This is quite a dark song cos I've been suppressing my feelings for some time, since I feel that I couldn't do much. I don't know if cos there's something's missing out in my life or that I just felt helpless or I'm too sad from everything that I began to look down on myself in some way. I wished I can know the answer..But anyway, let my lyric says it.

tearful clown
A soft whisper from the heart
Words which I hear over and over again
are they supposed to hypnotize me?

Killed by the applause
Drowned by loneliness
I'm always pretending to be fine

*The clown who has been taking in all the laughter
is feigning happiness
The insignificant me,
soaking in despair
is only powerless
The one who cries isn't a weakling,
but the one who understands too much

Ringing voices continue to overtake me
Who is there to dance at this time
when I'm the only one with red shoes

Clouds in disturbance
Love that brought madness
Can I leave when there is nothing left to cry

*The clown who has been taking in all the laughter
is feigning happiness
The insignificant me,
soaking in despair
is only powerless
The one who wouldn't stop crying isn't a weakling,
but the one with the wound that doesn't heal

~~~~~
I supposed this happens to be the right time to mention about this scary thing called clowns since Halloween falls on this month, although I don't celebrate it at all. lol.

Well I'm just that clown anyway. 

~~Yuuka 

10th lyric release - LOCKED

I haven't feel all that good this month either, especially just few days back when I discovered that the uploader for Buck-tick subs videos got taken down. Man, I was super upset since those vids were so great for me to watch their performance along with the lyrics where I can understand and feel for their songs. But it's all gone now. ｡ﾟ(ﾟ´Д｀ﾟ)ﾟ｡ I wonder will the uploader be back again someday. I miss Buck-tick songs so much, although I should also punch myself for not listening often cos I've been watching anime during my free time instead of listening to their music. (x_x) And so, I haven't got much inspiration lately to write much. Think I haven't yet produce a lyric for this month. Let me just pause for a moment? And flipped back my old old lyrics and recall those feelings once more?

Actually I do hate my old works, I feel they weren't mature and deep enough. I don't even feel good to read back those again. I don't even know what was I writing for. (¬_¬) Well, those were the times alright. At least they were the steps that lead me to where I am now? Now that I can write better with a purpose. I supposed I should kinda appreciate those little things that I did even though I dislike them now. Shall use them as a comparison that I'm getting better at my writing now? I hope there's someone who will agree with me on this too. lol.

So yeah, let me release one [almost 5 years ago] in which I feel it won't let anyone feel all that uncomfortable upon reading it. haha. And why do I feel a little nostalgic now? (>_<)

[Inspired by Ayu microphone]

LOCKED
Imagine doing the wrong things all over again...

When will I be able to learn from this pain
without hurting you or me?

How can I get up and be firm
when change is the only constant thing?

*I will get back my stand
because you are moving forward
so fast that I would not want to be left behind
even if I'm left by myself
I won't give up because I still have myself

Imagine saying the same things over and over again...

When will I be able to say that I love something
instead of getting sick of it too soon?

How can I show to anyone else what I truly am
when I'm so used to hiding?

**I will have my stand here
and stay the way I am while moving forward
because you are so far ahead
with nothing left behind to regret

*I will carry on with what I'm getting
even if seeing everything has slowed me down
I won't give up because at least
I still have myself to move on
  
~~~~~
Should I be surprised? Most of my old works are boring and sad, but at the end of it, it seemed somewhat motivating and positive. I do feel they are quite plain and this is just one of those. It might not be deep but the message is clear. 

And that was the past me. 

~~Yuuka

9th lyric release - 儚い幻

Yeah now that it's August, suddenly I'm in a better mood!! July's been kinda tough to go through, but I believe this month's much better! ╰(*´︶`*)╯ I'm glad that I have some time to change my blog banner to my lovely Kagrra, in which it made me feel so good!! And today's the birthday of my dear buddy therefore I wanna dedicate this work of mine to you~ I love this lyric cos I was inspired by my favourite Kagrra, song and it's something positive this time. I wrote it last year though, so it was full of memories. I hope you would like this little gift of mine to you. Best buddy forever~~ (*´∀｀*)♥

[Inspired by Kagrra, し、み、め、ゆ、き、さ、あ]

儚い幻 (はかないまぼろし）
*Lavish dreams, mystical reality
outreaching thoughts, fading touch

The days when I thought the moon was following me
The belief that I cannot ignore
The recollection that I cherish the most

*Unspoken hopes, intense aspiration
everlasting imagination, fleeting triumph

The drip of affection that inspires me
The phenomenon that transcends
The trivia that has became so dear to me

Such sweet moments could only linger in my heart
where all things transpires from time to time
now I can't relate to my old self

*Lavish dreams, mystical reality
outreaching thoughts, fading touch
*Unspoken hopes, intense aspiration
everlasting imagination, fleeting triumph

I wouldn't cry but to be moved to tears
With that expanding faith,
shall I be making an old dream of mine come true...

 ~~~~~
I hope your dreams come true too. 

And let Kagrra, live in our hearts forever~ 

Happy birthday Shua! 

~~Yuuka

8th lyric release - Departure

It's the 4th death anniversary of our isshi-sama. I have never ever forget any date that relates to our dearest Kagrra, and especially this day. I've wrote a sad death song while listening to some sad songs just last month...and somehow it was probably meant for this day... although I didn't write it initially with such a purpose. But when my sad feelings came, it's just naturally I will write in that way. I don't know if my tears will fall uncontrollably if I were to read my lyrics on any other day or when I miss him. I don't want it to happen though. Maybe it's my lyrics that showed too much emotion I should probably not read, but just write.

But well...if it's for Isshi, I shouldn't be feeling all that sad anymore.

July 18th shall be a bright day for me to feel thankful for. At least I could write such things, with isshi in mind...

Hopefully Isshi is also feeling happy and all well in the other world... (￣･ω･￣)

[Inspired by XJapan Tears]

Departure
How can I put up a smile on my face again
when there is no one else to see
Even if I'm always here

*The dark sky where I want to soar above
If I were to turn to ashes,
will you cry for me?

Led by the stranger in my dream,
I only want to be taken away

Tell me how can I dream again
when you're being away from me
Even if I kept loneliness away

*The very same place that represents our pledge of love
If I'm gonna fly with the wind,
will you still cry for me?

Am I still hearing your whispers
and feeling your endless tears

While I'm flapping my wings and fading into the light,
let my worries be dissolved by our everlasting love.

~~~~~
This day when I'm missing isshi even more...

A teary song. But I'll not cry anymore.

It's already something that I have to be happy of.

~~Yuuka