Life has to be worth living by being happy each day.✨

What a coincidence! During this week, I was feeling down from work. Too many things happened lately especially with people who keep coming and going. It's just tiring to deal with different people from time to time and also customers with stupid demands that makes no sense. This all made me find work to be meaningless now. What I'm doing now is just for the sake of getting the pay and nothing else. Since I know there won't be a chance for me to learn more and progress but instead be thrown to cover shitty things in the future who knows. I don't really have a good feeling about it anymore. I'm really getting so tired from all the crap to face cos I always have to do double work. And things that can be solved by others they rather throw to me and then back to them. What's the problem with them huh? Or can I say the work process is just dumbass? What if I messed up the work cos I'm unsure? Yeah that might ended up that my co-workers will be angry with me cos they'll have to do the correction which means they'll have to deal with double work. But why am I the one to bear with it just because I'm the most junior. Fuuu~~!! But then, I'm angry with them in the first place because no one is passing instructions properly. It made me almost making a mistake which might be huge. I really wanna give them a tight slap on the face cos they like to push work about and always throw this sentence "You should ask." YOU ARE THE ONE WHO SHOULD TELL!! Who the fuck knows what you're thinking and what's right. How would I know what are the right questions to ask? Will you always answer me with patience? [Mostly, is no] Is it so difficult to give proper instruction than assume? How can you compare me with you who've worked for mushroom years? You know better but you rather sit and wait for others [me] to know what you want and do it for you. Damn, just damn!!! I'm getting so pissed with the people here. ⋋_⋌

Back to talking about meaningless. Came across that while watching a tv show at night, where the 2 characters are talking about whether life is meaningless to deal with someone who angers you and shorten your life. They're talking about a family member though, and whether she should just divorce the man, but she didn't care about what's meaningful or meaningless or not and just lead her life like this. That sounds like a loser isn't it? Why should you torture yourself and making him living off you, unless you still have the love for him. But no, they didn't even talk anything about love. I wonder is it about the responsibility she can't give up or she's just lazy to think how to improve her life. Either that we all have a choice to make, but there are people like her who are sticking with the bad ones. I just don't get it. Why do you wanna care what others think when you don't owe them a living? There's nothing wrong even if you divorce at any age, be it in your 50s. What's so ashamed about it? It's more shameful if you let people to pull you and direct your life instead of yourself even at that age. You should live a life that makes you happy, not troubled. I just don't understand her thoughts...  (¬_¬)

Okay, it's only a drama character but somehow I got affected by it lol. Well I was thinking of it in terms of my job. I'm not totally unhappy though, since I've been too used to comparing it with my previous job which was much worse. I do cherish this current one that I'm having that's why I'm always doing my best each day. But on one hand, I think those people are taking me for granted. Bet that in their minds they think I won't leave. But I will, cos I know for sure this is not the place for me to get by forever. I don't wanna get stuck. I just need to find the right time to go and be prepared for it. I'm afraid that I'll end up really getting unhappier each day until it was too obvious that everyone knows I'm gonna leave? I wanna give a shocking surprise instead. HAHAHA. Yeah I'm just dreaming but hey that day might come.....

So to the part about coincidence! I wanted to read books that would prepare me for it! And it so happens that I found those good books related to jobs that were on sale yesterday. It was such a great deal!! I'm happy for this! (⌒‐⌒) I'm so gonna finish up those books and talk about it. LIFE HAS TO BE WORTH LIVING BY BEING HAPPY EACH DAY. ~[This quote is by me. ヽ(・∀・)ノ]

Yeah I guess I do vent enough by saying so much earlier on. My reading last month was this Chinese book on independence. How a woman should be independent herself.

Well, because the mountains will fall and the people will leave, so depending on yourself is the best thing ever!

But this book doesn't give a lot of useful pointers on how to be independent. The content are mostly stories heard by the author and so she's giving us real-life examples of what some women faced. And so the conclusion is that we shouldn't depend on others but ourselves cos life will be better this way!!

Oh well, anyway I did a little quiz few days ago for the fun of it and realised it's true that I still depend on a lot of people in my life and it seems that I can't get away with it. Is reliance a bad thing? I don't know how can I get away for now when it's pretty good so far. There's just so much to do for being independent. The burden on the shoulders seem to sink a lot. lol. I guess the only way that will force me to not rely on others is when there's someone who will need to depend on me. That if I wasn't around things won't work and the world will end. (;・・) Well, that is, if indeed there is someone who needs me a lot. If not, my life will probably still be.....


Even alone, life can still be good.

But who knows what the future will bring?