I got myself pumped up by doing my colouring which I wanted to complete a page in a long time! I took 2 days over the last weekend to get it done. Strangely, I just have the mood to slowly colour at every detail, but you know such things really require the mood. (・・;) Probably because I have the strong urge to at least complete a page for myself so that I can be proud of it. haha.
Wow really, I felt it was an achievement after I got it done! Since I couldn't draw well, colouring might be the second to it that I can do the most. I felt it was a little pity cos I love to draw when I was little. But I know I didn't have the talent as I grew older. Sometimes I do have the itch to draw my favourite idols in cute anime form but I really lack of the creativity and the skill. I don't know where to start with. I used to try to draw an anime character Cardcaptor Sakura during my tertiary school days. I had the whole picture as a reference. I tried my very best to draw but it looked weird to me and I can't say why. Until I showed to a friend and she told me immediately that I got the proportions wrong. The whole thing was an ugly disaster! I actually ruined it! (;´д｀)
From then on, I think it's best that I'll not draw anymore cos I just don't know how and it might make me even more upset if I didn't get it right. I have thoughts of getting how-to-draw books but I can't make myself go through every steps and be patient with it. [The thought of having to spend hours at drawing turns me off. lol.] Well it's not as if I have to be good at it, so it didn't mattered to me that I didn't carry on anymore. I just don't feel like wasting my time on something that I know for sure that I won't excel in it no matter what. Artists themselves are people who really know how to draw without being taught! All they need is just a pen and paper and they can draw perfect lines and shapes. BUT I CAN'T. I need all sorts of tools like ruler, flexible ruler and pencil so that I can keep erasing any off points but artists don't need to! Maybe practice does help but I don't have what it takes. lol. Patience and mood for art is what I'm lacking. But one thing for sure, I do know how to appreciate art for all the effort. ╰(*´︶`*)╯
Whatever with this childhood dream of mine being an artist, I don't care about it anymore. Colouring attracts me better since I don't have to think so much and be mindful with proportions. All I have to do is filling in with colours! Such an easy tasks which relives my stress as well. Haha. Anyway I noticed adult colouring fad may seem to die down a little down and calligraphy seems to be the new thing. Those brush pens does capture my eyes too! Especially with so many colours!! Well I didn't say I'm into it now since I'm a lagger. But I think I'm more interested in Chinese words than English words for now. All the strokes are gonna confuse my mind. So yeah, not at this moment as I need to let my mind off not thinking about anything difficult. lol. But how, should I even attempt at trying something new? ^_^;
Okay, as a way to push myself a little further, I decided to name this 'project' as Zekkai [絶界: reference from B-T song] So every time when I accomplish something, I will up myself one level. Then this will make me wanna go ahead to do more and be better! How many levels will there be then? Well, no idea! Maybe it's infinite so that there's always room for me to get better. hahaa. What a way to get myself moving. Since I managed to post a lyric - ONE and done my colouring - TWO, so I'm at Zekkai Stage 2!! YEAH~~ I'm still at such a low stage. (>ω<) Let me complete something else so that I can go stage 3. HAHAHA. (≧▽≦)
Now for a little precious thing I wanna mention. I got this Sensu which is so Kagrra-ish!!! I was so happy yesterday that a little shopping made me so delighted at getting something which is so useful for me now.
LOOK AT IT ISN'T IT BEAUTIFUL?
I can proudly wave this fan about while I'm outside and secretly feeling happy in a sense that I'm showing the world I'm a Kagrra, fan. Well, nobody knows my motive but I don't care!! It's Chikai no Tsuki or Omou or whatever you can think of because of that moon. It's isshi's love to me. ヾ(*´∀｀*)ﾉ ♥♡♥♡
I have the self-love, the thing which I should never forget.
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