Seeking inspiration from...

I have a period of somewhat a mental block earlier on January I couldn't think nor focus on doing what I want. It was quite a horrible feeling, that I can feel I'm useless suddenly. And so, I ended up talking to a few of friends about something else, how I feel and about maybe leaving everyone else.

Damn, that was the worst thought ever! 。・°°・(＞_＜)・°°・。

Well, I couldn't take back my words. But I guessed, it's also cos that after I've expressed it, I felt better moments later. And then I could think clearer when others told me of what they think. Yes, I shouldn't be in a rash no matter what, even when it comes to telling someone how I feel. But back then I didn't have a clear mind, I can't process my thoughts, so I ended up blabbering such stuffs that I never would have want to tell them again...


Anyway, things have been going good since. Probably cos I've got over those stupid thoughts and my friends made me feel better as always, or maybe from that day onwards idk. But I wouldn't wanna look back at that time. Although I made myself somewhat able to write 2 dark songs at the start of the year. But it was really a painful process I have been through. I wonder why it turned out to be like this. Is it because of someone who has caused me pain unknowingly? And that my inspiration couldn't come when I need it. It was hurting me deep inside I guess. (ó﹏ò｡)

My mood was certainly affected, and that's not a good thing cos I'm unable to do anything well cos of that. It's only that after listening to Kagrra, music I felt better. Much that I wished that certain things shouldn't happened to lead to this of me, somehow I think it made me grow. And be more conscious of myself. Don't keep thinking about doing things for others. I should think for myself too.

While I'm having complicated thoughts all over again.... (x_x)


Anyway, I've gotten back my inspiration to do the things that I like. Of course, lyrics wise I'm inspired by isshi now. But for fashion, beauty, life and everything else to learn from:

• Ayu → Been her fan since 2003. It's Ayu that I'm able to live through my teenage years.
• Michelle Phan → Following her for years when I just started into makeup. First video watched is from Mish, and have been continuing ever since 2010.
• Cheesie → The most hardworking blogger I've ever seen. Now that she's an amazing mum whom I look up to and aspire to be!
• Kumicky → My most favourite Popteen model I like since 2011. She also has a great personality and works hard all the time.
• Jenn Im → A great fashionista who is really eloquent. Just by looking at her makes me happy too.


I really feel revived after looking at them! I feel that I'm back once again! ♪～(´ε｀　)


And sometimes, I just have to feel good about myself. (*˘︶˘*).｡.:*♡

No worries cos life just goes on no matter what.