When had a bad day...

Oha my space. It's a holiday morning but here I am naturally waking up at the usual morning time. I guess yesterday's incident brought me to be even more moody. But I'm keeping it inside me and trying to stay calm and pretend nothing has happened. Still, mr brain failed me and keep thinking about it. Here this just feel as though I can't make a single mistake or it'll be broadcast around. 😱 I was in disbelief. I felt so misunderstood. But who will think in my shoes right? It was the first time it happened to me. I don't think it's appropriate to tell anyone cos this felt like a stab to me. Okay, so my fault for being muddle-headed at times.. but I didn't wish for this to happen! Recently I've been even more forgetful. I have no idea why for one second when I think of something I can forget it the very next moment!! This has never happened before either! It felt so scary now.....that if I were to be so unsure of myself again I might face another one to upset me. With once I certainly had enough of it. ☹ Probably everyone are guessing too, and maybe my co-worker beside would have guessed it if she were to notice me. Although I shouldn't be thinking so much to leave myself feeling so horrible. But all of this is possible. I'm just..... starting to feel detached from this place. I really wonder if I can ever befriend anyone in the workplace. 😦 

In addition, there's actually a big blood clot at the bottom of my tongue. I must have got it a few times in my life but it was just last night I took a closer look at the mirror because it was bothering me while I'm eating. It's so strange something at my tongue keep brushing against my teeth and it kinda hurts. A while later I tasted blood. Where did it all come from??! I have no idea how the clot just came when I didn't feel any pain earlier on. 😭

Pain from work, pain from body, pain from relationships. This has gone far at such a wrong time.

If only I can return to sleep and pretend none of these has happened.

But I'm awake too soon to recall those. 🤕 I need to find myself again. 🙀

What is going on...?

Why the constant changes? Okay, the fact that things changes from time to time huh? (¬_¬)

Google is doing it again, I almost panicked when I couldn't find my pictures at picasa web album.

Is that a good way? I was confused where I can find them at first. Oh so it's not at Google photos but at Album archive if I wanna search for my blogger pictures. (-_-)

Whatever with this all in one thing. Changes confuses me much too often when I'm already used to something.


Okay, speaking of which, shouldn't I also get my current blog revamp too? (・・;) A new year is coming and it would be nice for a little change right? [Oh thanks google for the reminder.]

But now I still have no idea what to do with my LJ when it has some pictures that I don't wanna see again lol. 

Well well, let's just get some ideas brewing while struggling for time as well since, I really won't be able to get an entire day to make this blog design entirely differently. Although that's what I would I love to have.

And also, time to review the year and start making some resolutions as well! I need so much time to think. hahaha.

Cosmos #14 | Another beginning to treat myself right!

Bless me!! I finally can make myself do a Cosmos post and feel I'm not out of this world yet! lol.

It's been such a long while, that I have the mood to document my life in this way and feel somewhat better by summing up what's been going on for the whole week.

Yeah so here's my report: I'm in a new environment for a month! And have been eating well lately, which is a huge improvement compared to August! It's weird how my body changes that quickly just because I get moving instead of resting at home. Maybe my body has accustomed to getting waking up and getting active? I wished I can make myself rest more as I know I didn't get to rest properly in ages. And it's hard to control my stomach or digestion I really don't get what's going on but since I'm back to normal this should be good. Or maybe because this is just a start so stress hasn't come to me yet? Well, the fact that I'm not facing it alone and I felt that everyone is working equally hard and being cooperative makes me feel that there is actually more morale here. We often have group lunches and gatherings which made me feel I'm part of them. This is such a huge gap I get to experience like finally! But on one hand, I'm feeling guilty from spending too much. Really too much!! Especially on food because of the gatherings. I felt kinda heart pain but on the other hand, expensive food gave me the appetite. And that is why I can eat better than before. It probably pays off in the future? And how can I not note that I always tend to spend more towards the end of the year? lol. It just so happens. But I really need to restrain a little. Although yes, I'm struggling between treating myself right and saving up a bit more for the future if not I'm cry someday if I ever need $$ in unexpected situations. ^_^; hahaha.


Well last week, I also had the mood to do a little 'craft' by changing my earrings into hp chains instead. I used them on bags or pouches with zips. Since I don't wear earrings anymore, it would be a waste if I throw them away instead of converting them for something better or useful. I like putting on chains so this is just one of my small creativity. And since I can't bear to just throw those away as the flowers and stars are really pretty you know!

So there ya go, this is my little boring life. hahahaa. (≧▽≦)


As for this week's little reward, I bought myself another of the matte lipstick, powder foundation and hair oil to stock up!

Previously I mentioned the shade was dark on me, and it's true. Now I find that the picture of a model's lip colour for the lipstick cannot be trusted [probably due to the lighting or the skin colour idk]. It's of course the best if I can try it right on my lips but I definitely won't do that since it's not hygienic. All I can do is to judge by the tube/sticker colour so this time, after I watched reviews from youtube and got to have a clearer look at the colour, I'm very pleased that I got the right shade I wanted for myself initially, which is light pastel pink. It's better because it's sweet looking and nope I don't like nudes! I don't get why it's such an in thing nowadays because it made you look sick more than anything else. Natural looking is nice but I felt it would defeat the purpose of putting a lip product on your lips when the colour doesn't show, unless it's a lip balm. Same applies to nail polish. I just can't get into nude colours so nope!!

As for the foundation, their natural shade actually seemed quite dark after I used the sponge to tap. It didn't seem to be a problem to me since it indeed is nearest to my skin colour although I think they could have made it a little lighter since it'll oxidize at the end of the day. But so far, I wasn't out for too long I don't know if it's something I'll be satisfied with yet. But nonetheless, I'm still in search of a good long lasting foundation that can control my oil well. Sadly it's been quite a challenging task. *sweats*