On my way to recovery....

While I'm still figuring out what's wrong with my body.... (-_-)


Well I have to do something, like getting more rest as such, and really watch my diet closely. It's quite a little pain actually. There's so much of my favourite food that I can't enjoy now. I'm also not sure if what I'm eating now is really okay for my stomach but I supposed it does good. And I have to be on a exercise regime and see if my body will become better. But my stomach can be a torture sometimes. At one moment I can be very hungry and after I ate something [without finishing yet] I feel full almost immediately. I really hate this organ of mine. lol.

And why does it have to be at such a right time where I keep seeing food appearing on tv? Loads of yummy delicious food! I can't stand it!! I wanna enjoy a delicious bowl of ramen but it isn't the appropriate time for me at all now. I want Japanese food badly~~ (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`) Sobs!


And just on Friday, I happened to see Kumicky on tv! It was only then that I realised she's on Kawaii Asia tv program. I once saw her on a channel teaching some simple exercises too, but I can't find it in the internet!! Why, isn't she popular? Or only in Japan?? =( It's not fair that it's so hard for me to watch it at my own free time. Argh. They OUGHT to make Kumicky's stuff easily available! She's also a great inspirational artiste too u know!! ⋋_⋌


There, Kumicky is introducing delicious dessert with Pikarin.

I swear the way Kumicky eats and describes it tempt me so much for a parfait now. I need one for my internal soul therapy. lol!

And then she went off with another girl I don't know who and introduce some dessert crepe.

I can't believe adding konpeito on desserts but I'm sure Kumicky's one is more yummy than this. haha.

And that's all the shots that I can get from that program. (-__-)


Maybe I really need to stop watching such programs that torture me. xD  I know I can be more determined in the change of my lifestyle now. And I should focus on things that are more important, although I might have to give up on some things. Somehow I feel a little sad, that I can't enjoy as much as before. ( ´•︵•` ) Maybe I need to sort out my time better. But at least, since I'm determine to recover asap I made myself rest as much as I could. 

I just want more holidays although it's not quite possible. （・□・；）


One more week to go and it'll be August! I just hope next month will be better and since there's some holidays to rest, I wanted to do something more.

What will be my mood? I don't wanna be all sad and sick like this July. I need to be all well and start writing better stuffs.


Isshi, please bless me that I'll be fine. Without weird dreams no more too.
 
With much love,
Yuuka

For this 18th July...

[Continue from 8th lyric release - Departure]

I was supposed to be blogging about this on Saturday as I planned, since 18 July is such an important day, but I wasn't in quite a good condition. (,_,) Okay, not like I'm totally good now, but at least I felt better even though I couldn't eat much. There goes my public holiday on Friday too. I've spent these 3 days mainly sleeping the whole afternoon cos I felt so unwell. And the weather was horribly hot!! I'm pretty sure I've lost weight over the months, I must have looked kinda bad. lol. And with some sad thoughts on missing isshi, I really wished I could just sleep and meet him in my dreams and forget all about this world.

I actually felt so sad. (┯_┯)

Now my head hurts a lot too. Maybe I'm partially sick, for whatever reason. My July probably ended up as a little empty compared to last year's. Should I really mind that much? I've been bothered with too many things I've already felt restless. I really wished I need not care about anything anymore. Maybe no one else cares too..


Argh, maybe I should shut myself away from those thoughts and get my strength back again. Why am I so down. ( ´•︵•` ) Can somebody stop me??


The thing I wanted to mention today is Nao's tweet on isshi's death anniversary:

Just like last year, the sky was cloudy and rainy in Japan too!! What a coincidence. Maybe that's the sign for us by Isshi. haha.

Nao is always so sweet to remember this day. How I wished I could be drinking too if I weren't that sick. =(



Still feeling a little vexed that I didn't get to watch some Kagrra, vids that I planned initially.
I hope August would be a better month for me to come up with some time for those, and I won't be as tired as now. I really wanted a long holiday of my own, to somewhere without any disruption and noise. Can I be allowed to do this....? Can anyone understand me?

Let me be a step closer to Isshi..

8th lyric release - Departure

It's the 4th death anniversary of our isshi-sama. I have never ever forget any date that relates to our dearest Kagrra, and especially this day. I've wrote a sad death song while listening to some sad songs just last month...and somehow it was probably meant for this day... although I didn't write it initially with such a purpose. But when my sad feelings came, it's just naturally I will write in that way. I don't know if my tears will fall uncontrollably if I were to read my lyrics on any other day or when I miss him. I don't want it to happen though. Maybe it's my lyrics that showed too much emotion I should probably not read, but just write.

But well...if it's for Isshi, I shouldn't be feeling all that sad anymore.

July 18th shall be a bright day for me to feel thankful for. At least I could write such things, with isshi in mind...

Hopefully Isshi is also feeling happy and all well in the other world... (￣･ω･￣)

[Inspired by XJapan Tears]

Departure
How can I put up a smile on my face again
when there is no one else to see
Even if I'm always here

*The dark sky where I want to soar above
If I were to turn to ashes,
will you cry for me?

Led by the stranger in my dream,
I only want to be taken away

Tell me how can I dream again
when you're being away from me
Even if I kept loneliness away

*The very same place that represents our pledge of love
If I'm gonna fly with the wind,
will you still cry for me?

Am I still hearing your whispers
and feeling your endless tears

While I'm flapping my wings and fading into the light,
let my worries be dissolved by our everlasting love.

~~~~~
This day when I'm missing isshi even more...

A teary song. But I'll not cry anymore.

It's already something that I have to be happy of.

~~Yuuka

Probably no more anime...

Nowadays I find myself itching to buy some things every now and then which is almost every week and it just makes me happy to see those goodies with me. lol. Look what I've found! These rubber stamps are so cute!! (*^◯^*) ♥♥♥♥♥♥

Look at all these that I've stamped!! Oops I've messed up with the arrangement but I'm just too happy to stamp them yesterday. lol. (^ε^)-☆

Now I've got an urge to get the other set that was available but I thought I should just get one since it was quite expensive. lol.

I don't know why I'm into these rubber stamps suddenly and so I began searching for them some time ago. Well although I was really into it last year already. haha. But it was quite difficult to find them around since I guess it wasn't that popular anymore. That's why I was so thrilled that I stopped by this shop [but I don't remember the name ^_^;] that sells clothes, accessories and some cute stationery stuffs. This reminds me how gift shops are getting lesser and lesser it's hard for me to find nice cute stuffs like this as gifts. Ah.. I miss those days where I keep going in and out of those gift stores near my place. And I used to grab a few of those key chains/handphone chains for myself. Now I can't really get those anymore. =(


This was another impromptu purchase! I just feel like I should go ahead and buy something. Wonder it was got anything to do with stress. (>ω<) I almost wanna buy a perfume and nail polish set but I'm not sure is it worth at all. Well but it would most probably be a gift for my friend rather than for myself though. Then again, I'll start thinking like why am I not that generous towards myself? lol.

Oh wells, as you can see, these items are cheaper compared to other cosmetic brands and I got that acne patch cos it was on sale. >_<

But I'm still happy at getting things for myself. haha. Especially those rubber stamps. My day has became so bright cos of it I'm crazy!! (☆∀☆)•*¨*•.¸¸♪

I have been using Bifesta makeup remover all along cos I like the water-based formula which just feels better on my skin. It's actually been 3 years since I've used this stuff I'm still satisfied with it. Although somehow I feel like trying other brands sometimes but I just can't find any one that I feel like. Been using up a bottle fast in a matter of 3 months but recently since I put on makeup to work everyday, I'm finishing it for about 2 months!! I'm just sort of annoyed that I have to keep going back to the drugstore to keep buying the same thing. Cos it ain't thrilling. lol.


A tiring week this week! Especially when there's the train disruption that made me so lack of sleep I'm really angry and disappointed!! ⋋_⋌ Have to spend on cab fare since I have a heavy book I don't wanna carry it around while squeezing with everyone on a bus. A usual 30-min ride home that ended up as 3 hours instead. It was the first time I'm experiencing such a thing that is a waste of time. And noooo! No way why should anyone wanna experience anything that's bad. It was a torture to do  nothing but wait. Wait with a heavy book that is breaking my shoulders.  。・°°・(＞_＜)・°°・。


Oh yeah, and just as I expected, I haven't have the time for anime anymore. Starting this week I'm unable to watch any. Well I didn't feel all that bad, just that it seems that I have to go back to those days where I'm focused at music and reading stuffs. It's alright since I've watched more than enough animes/dramas for the first half of this year, in which I felt that I've already completed this project so to speak. lol. I should also probably have different aims now for the second half of the year. Focus on the things that are more important to me. (￣▽￣)


I'm just missing and looking forward to holidays now so that I can really relax. lol.


Back to Kagrra,... what else? xD

Happy July 7th!

On this summery day, where I'll be listening to Kagrra,'s 七月七日. ^_^

My day will always be bright. July is such a memorable month for me cos of Kagrra,.. I believe so.

It has always been the beginning for me for some things... And I'm glad although I have mixed feelings about it.


I won't forget how some things happened to make me be the way I am now... I will leave them at the back of my mind cos they're not gonna haunt me anymore but I certainly won't forget.


Somethings are meant to be the way it is with some unknown reasons. lol~


But for sure, life goes on as beautifully as it should be. It will be good. I will make it good!! ヽ(・∀・)ノ


To the one who meant so much to me, I'm sure you feel the same too. I will always be here. ♥

With lots of love,
Yuuka

~~~~~
I'll be one with you as we are for eternity ~Isshi-sama

Anime Paradise kiss パラダイス・キス

Paradise kiss パラダイス・キス [12 episodes + live-action movie] → I was in for a romance anime and I found this great work which I'm quite impressed with! The anime art is really unique and it's very different from the usual animes that I've watched. It also reminds me of my little interest in fashion design that I wanna enrol into the course many years ago but I didn't do so cos I know I don't have a flair for it. haha. But I didn't regret on my decision though, cos I know I wasn't the creative type of person to survive in such an industry. (^_^;) Well anyway, this anime is much of a mature-theme and really realistic about life. And so reading comments at the start of the few episodes about it having a bad ending didn't deter me from continuing since I believe I should look at it myself to understand why and enjoy the whole story too. 

My most favourite male character is George, although he's such a badass. But I love those eyes of his. xD

I wonder the same too, but human relationships are complicated sometimes. -_-

Yeah, cats are everywhere nowadays. lol.


The beautiful ring that matches the dress they made!

but there's a smaller version that George made for Yukari.

But look!! This is the real version [in the movie]. Really pretty~!! ^.^

I love how I can learn something from an anime. There are things that they mentioned which makes me think about it. And also, 自分の可能性を信じなきゃ、何も始まらないさ。which means Nothing happens if you don't believe in yourself. That is actually said by George. lol.

The dress is quite beautiful in the anime version than in the movie, probably cos of all the flowers. This was a touching scene when I saw them hugging together, although in the end they didn't win the grand prize. I thought this was quite reasonable since they were rushing badly to dye the colours of the flowers somehow I don't think it might be the best work they can produce. lol. But hey, second prize is also good enough!

If that is what the writer wants things to be... >_<

I didn't think the anime is that bad, although I think I don't like it now since after I've watched the movie version, I think in terms of the characters and the ending it's really much better. But the way that George is doing, makes me feel he's quite an asshole although I can't hate him at all. (>ω<)

Their relationship is unhealthy in the first place since he's been making Yukari cried quite a few times and he's such a playboy and being so unconcern towards Yukari at some point, in which I don't quite get his thoughts. Yet in the end, he did ask Yukari to join him to Paris and even left the whole dresses collection he made for Yukari. That's really another touching scene. But I totally support Yukari and will make the same decision to pursue modelling career if I were her. It's hard to leave with George when she just got the chance to get started as a pro model. It definitely seems to me that it's very much a realistic choice and George is probably just someone who guides her thinking about what she really wants to do with her life, since he's all talk about it. It's just sad that he doesn't seem to be wanting her to be by his side cos he only mentioned that 'You made the right choice' when Yukari said she can't go with him.

But can't he contact Yukari or fly back to Japan during his break to visit Yukari at all?? Then it fast forward to 10 years later and Yukari ended up marrying another man. This just means there isn't anything going between them for the entire period of 10 years? SO mean!! I can't help but to think that he didn't love Yukari, but only like her...although he might treat her as a special person to leave all his dresses for her. But he's not doing quite right imo. Don't you miss Yukari at all, even a bit? How can you not even care about doing anything as a man. How is it that there is no single action from you ever since that day? Not even a letter? WHAT IS THIS! It doesn't have to be this way! Being in 2 different countries doesn't mean you have to get separated from another person forever!! ⋋_⋌

Perhaps the ending will be better if after a few years later, after both of them fulfilled their dreams and they're back together again. AND THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED IN THE MOVIE VERSION! Lol.. same as my thoughts. The movie is definitely better and that they didn't portray George as that much of a jerk like the anime, and the actor didn't seem that scary. Haha. Anyway, it will also be more complete if they were to mention the lives of the other characters too, like Miwako and Hiroyuki. 

It's still a great masterpiece to watch. =)


One week of anime plus movie entertainment. And it made me think so much. (≧▽≦)

Bye bye first love, if that was it's ultimate aim. lol. 

今は。。。

仕事がだんだん慣れて、あまり疲れない。

この前は手がいきなり痛くなって、毎日マウス使ってからかしら。

先週辛い食べ物を食べ過ぎたので、具合が悪かった。(ó﹏ò｡)　ちっと落ち込んだ。頭痛もあるんです。(x_x)


ああ。。。 今回は何も考えない。何が書きたいかな。。。（笑）

とにかく日本語本を２冊買った。読まなくてはいけないね。(^_^;)

 アニメも見よう！

 それだけです！(´ー`)/~~