10th lyric release - LOCKED

I haven't feel all that good this month either, especially just few days back when I discovered that the uploader for Buck-tick subs videos got taken down. Man, I was super upset since those vids were so great for me to watch their performance along with the lyrics where I can understand and feel for their songs. But it's all gone now. ｡ﾟ(ﾟ´Д｀ﾟ)ﾟ｡ I wonder will the uploader be back again someday. I miss Buck-tick songs so much, although I should also punch myself for not listening often cos I've been watching anime during my free time instead of listening to their music. (x_x) And so, I haven't got much inspiration lately to write much. Think I haven't yet produce a lyric for this month. Let me just pause for a moment? And flipped back my old old lyrics and recall those feelings once more?

Actually I do hate my old works, I feel they weren't mature and deep enough. I don't even feel good to read back those again. I don't even know what was I writing for. (¬_¬) Well, those were the times alright. At least they were the steps that lead me to where I am now? Now that I can write better with a purpose. I supposed I should kinda appreciate those little things that I did even though I dislike them now. Shall use them as a comparison that I'm getting better at my writing now? I hope there's someone who will agree with me on this too. lol.

So yeah, let me release one [almost 5 years ago] in which I feel it won't let anyone feel all that uncomfortable upon reading it. haha. And why do I feel a little nostalgic now? (>_<)

[Inspired by Ayu microphone]

LOCKED
Imagine doing the wrong things all over again...

When will I be able to learn from this pain
without hurting you or me?

How can I get up and be firm
when change is the only constant thing?

*I will get back my stand
because you are moving forward
so fast that I would not want to be left behind
even if I'm left by myself
I won't give up because I still have myself

Imagine saying the same things over and over again...

When will I be able to say that I love something
instead of getting sick of it too soon?

How can I show to anyone else what I truly am
when I'm so used to hiding?

**I will have my stand here
and stay the way I am while moving forward
because you are so far ahead
with nothing left behind to regret

*I will carry on with what I'm getting
even if seeing everything has slowed me down
I won't give up because at least
I still have myself to move on
  
~~~~~
Should I be surprised? Most of my old works are boring and sad, but at the end of it, it seemed somewhat motivating and positive. I do feel they are quite plain and this is just one of those. It might not be deep but the message is clear. 

And that was the past me. 

~~Yuuka

Why was there emptiness...

Late on this post I'm feeling so bad about this! (>_<) I didn't have the mood at all last week so I couldn't post a thing at all. What an empty week even though I had a day off!! Can't remember exactly what I did on that Friday. (｡-_-｡) I'm not even happy to mention about this myself. lol. But this week has been productive! I wrote down the list of things that I wanna do [in which I've always been doing usually xD] and somehow I got them completed by today!! Well, I guess what deters me from getting things done is the MOOD, not how tough nor how time consuming it is. lol.

It was our Kagrra, members' birthday in August and September. And as usual, I'll like to tweet about it. I've been receiving tweets from Akiya which I supposed is spam cos I've been getting the same thing quite a few times. It's highly possible that the account is not him anymore cos he hasn't been using it for a super long time [more than a year]. Although now he's active but for such tweets all the same in his timeline and nothing else normal like his old tweets, I can't feel that all happy even though I got tweets from him. I really hope our Akiya is back to realise this and be active for real. (｡•́︿•̀｡)

I miss U too Akiya-san!! I hope u received and saw my tweet to u and know we Kagrra, fans are still around...

If only the other members also have a twitter account. (┯_┯) Well, that I can only refer to Shin and Izumi. Shouldn't Shin have one too since he's still active in the music scene? It's bored for me to tweet without able to tag anyone except my fren. lol.


These 3 weeks I'm actually working 4 days a week and probably that's something I enjoy for the first time. Of course it'll be the best if that can be like this forever. xD  2 days of weekend is indeed not enough. It should be half a week for work, half a week to rest and have fun. haha. Yeah that was my kind of ideal life to only work 4 days, but sadly don't think any full time jobs are only 4 days. Casual Fridays make me no motivation for work sometimes. And so somehow I dislike Fridays cos I won't have the mood to shop. Okay, now I don't understand what I'm saying. So I don't have any mood on Fridays? hmm... (・・;)


Anyway, I chanced upon Kumicky on tv with Pikarin again! They were both dressed up in Lolita style and introducing delicious desserts once again. Her program always make me in so much envy!! Lol~

I really hope there's more for me to watch! Since there is no more Popteen for me to chase after. And now I feel a lack in something I'm not sure what it is. Maybe I need to read more books and be inspired or what. I can't describe such a feeling now.. Why is there some sort of emptiness in my heart? Is that cos I lack of something to chase after now? IS that the reason so? I do think it could be something else....

Maybe listening to more Buck-tick? Suddenly they seemed to have disappeared from my life I'm sad.  (,_,)

Anime: My Little Monster となりの怪物くん

My Little Monster となりの怪物くん [13 episodes] → I don't know how I just ended up on a romance comedy anime but this one isn't anything romantic... (-_-) The comedy part isn't a lot either, but it's still a watchable anime I guess, and that's why I didn't give up watching at all. haha. Shizuku is quite a plain girl and she seemed to talk with no emotions. lol. But she's really very good in her studies, being second in place in school. While the guy Haru, despite not attending school much initially, he was the top in which Shizuku isn't happy at all. lol. Haru is a rash person and he would always use violence as a way to solve problems he came across. He ended up hurting Shizuku many times, and this is the thing that I dislike.. I hate that the main male lead is such an annoying bad person without sparing a thought for the girl he likes. It just makes me mad and suspicious at his so called 'love' for the girl. Kenji is definitely a better guy for Shizuku, and the best part that I like, is definitely when Haru gets jealous of him being so close with her. Lol!!


Anyway, when I watch further towards the middle of the story I feel this story seemed a bit cliche... I don't quite know what exactly to say about this anime. Probably cos I've already watched a really good and popurlar one like Kaichou wa Maid-sama, I felt that this one is not as good. The comedy and romance part are not shown enough in this anime, and the ending isn't complete!! It makes me mad too!! I don't get what is it about. Isn't it supposed to end nicely with the both of them together since they've clearly told each other about how they feel? Shouldn't it be a romantic if not, a nice ending showing the other characters instead? Well then, I guess I'm really not that satisfied with this anime although I managed to watch all of it. I won't recommend this tbh.  There are probably other better romance comedy than this. I would rather recommend Paradise kiss for romance even though the ending is a sad one. At least I felt the story is more in depth.

That said, let me end at least with a nice scene that I like the most. This is the part where Shizuku touched Haru's face and he smiled. This is only like the best one ever to see from a couple. lol.

Let me see if I can find a good romance comedy ever? (^_^;)

Anime: Barakamon ばらかもん

Barakamon ばらかもん [12 episodes] → I'm glad that I found a comedy anime to watch that lighten up my mood! From episode 2 onwards then there's the real deal. xD It's about Seishuu, the talented calligrapher who got sent by his dad to a rural island for punching a director for criticizing his work. The fun begins when he starts to get along with all the other villagers of that island, and to seek inspiration for his writing.  I like how this anime feature little bits of everyday life and many of those nature scenes just made me feel relaxed too.

It's really amazing to see the sunset so beautiful which gives you a peace of mind. =)


In the middle of the story [episode 6] I can understand the struggle that he is getting. Seishuu wants to develop his own style of writing ever since he got that hurtful comment from the director, but when the eighteen year old Kōsuke said that he is purposely trying to put too much individuality in his writing that it seemed so forceful, which is not anything like Seishuu himself. Seishuu thought his writing was dull and he was trying hard to develop his own style at a different environment, yet he was told otherwise and couldn't get an award. He must have felt very lost then, like what's he supposed to do? Why it doesn't seem right for him at both situations? Well, in the end I'm glad he could sort out his thoughts and make writing a fun thing that he loved so much. =)


Anyway, I can't helped it but to put some cats here since there are cats appearing in this anime too. What's best is that Seishuu loves cat even though he's allergic to them! lol.

I don't really get his part despite the subs^. lol. Most of the time the characters are speaking in Japanese dialect and it was really a tough thing for me to catch any words I know of. （・□・；）But it was definitely interesting to hear those and at some parts it's really funny cos of the different words spoken there. hahaha.

Somehow this must be the feeling of missing a place so much...

I would love to go to a Matsuri and see those fireworks too~

I'm just not that satisfied he left the place without informing anyone.... That's quite bad to surprised everyone like that. (>_<)

I'm most overwhelmed by this writing of his!! He could actually got a first prize with this work but sadly, he ruined it with coffee cos he thought this was a bad quality work to show to the director. How silly Seishuu was!! I laughed at that too, but it's really a pity. So he thought of writing everyone's name from that village and submitted it for the competition. That was really a very touching scene to see, although he was quite behind in the list of winners. We can see that Seishuu has matured quite a bit although he might still be rash at times. xD The ending is also a good one where he went back to see everyone again. It certainly feels like a second home to him. ^_^


Overall this is one great anime and it sparked my interest in calligraphy too. xD  Feel like writing something when I have the free time and inspiration. Hope I can do this for fun too. （＾∇＾）