Book review: Culture Shock! Japan

Yeah, I'm doing a book review for the first time! Onward to the first step in completing one of my projects/resolutions for this year lol. This book is something that is of my interest of course, which is about Japan! Haha not that I don't know of or about Japan, but it gives me a better insight to more about that country. I just can't helped but to grab this book while I passed by a bookstore last year. That's me having to look around at books if they're showed up in the open. haha.

Anyway, having to work in a Japanese company before, I can totally relate to the culture with my own experience. I agree a lot with what the author mentioned. I find it stressful too to be in such an environment as people have to conform and cannot be different. And they just put too much emphasis on age and status, that being really ridiculous at times. It's really difficult to work in such a culture where they have the mentality that the more hours you stayed in the office, the more hardworking you are, even if you've done nothing at all. But if you leave the office on time, you are deemed not being hardworking and putting effort in your work. It really doesn't make sense and that is really being unreasonable isn't it? And after work, you still have to go along with your superiors for dinner and drinks. Everyone has to be home LATE. Look at articles about how overworked has caused deaths in Japan. I've seen those appeared many times already. It's really a huge problem that they have to do something about it. Putting in more time at work doesn't mean you're being efficient. When you can do everything within a fixed time frame, doesn't this means you are indeed capable? =/

I've also heard stories from friends with people who worked in Japanese companies and wanting to leave due to such reasons. So yeah, sadly I know as much as I love Japan, I would never wanna work there. I don't wanna live such a life that gives me the heart attack. （・□・；）

As you would know, one of my dreams back then was to become a voice actress.  It seems like such an interesting job where most of them are so talented! Wouldn't it be cool if I can even be one of characters of my favourite anime? (・∪・) It sure takes a lot of skill to project your emotions through your voice. I don't like my voice to be honest, so I hope in such a way I can train my voice to some other voices that I can be proud of or liking it. Haha. How weird is that right? xD  So I was thinking how nice would it be if I can fulfill this dream of mine after I graduate from school. But hell, it was not an easy thing to achieve. Especially when you're a Gaijin!! It's already not easy for a Japanese themselves to be one and they expect A LOT. You have to be talented in almost everything. You don't just act with your voice, you must be able to sing, narrate, write, act out on stage etc and your Japanese level must be even better than the natives themselves! Else why would they wanna pick you over their own people? Even the number of foreigners in Japan is really really little... You have to show that you are much capable so that they can accept you, not just plainly cos of your interest.

And it's also not easy to be their citizen. (T ^ T)  I gave up on that thought after reading and knowing so much. Japan is indeed a stressful place having to keep up with everything and fit in and accommodate to others' requests always.

Well, What can I say?

Dreams are never easy to achieve.

It takes so much to get there. Decide for yourself if it's worth the time, effort and money to go for it. Is it realistic? Are you happy during the process? Is that what you really wanted? What if you just couldn't get it? Do you have a backup plan if it doesn't work for you afterall? Don't let yourself having to regret over other things in life that you've missed while achieving your 'dreams'.


After all, it's probably better that for us to be a happy visitor to Japan and appreciate their country in a relaxed manner than trying so hard to be in a place that you don't really belong.

These are just my own thoughts. It's just that I don't wanna get myself too stressed up all over again. And I know it doesn't work for me. I'm not that bold enough lol.

Do what's really important to you,
and be happy. 

all things weird...

What a hot day~!!

The weather's been weird and to only getting hotter and hotter. >_< And there's been getting more and more problems at work. It's kinda hard to work with certain people at times and there's just too many things to deal with. Maybe I'm stressed cos of this, that I began to eat a lot nowadays. Even a friend of mine has noticed such a change in me that I was so hurriedly gorging up my food even after I have eaten dessert while she was the one who's supposed to be hungry cos she hasn't eaten all day. Lol. We have all became weird. (・・;) I didn't notice much about myself. I just wanna do what I wanna do on my weekend. (´-ω-`)

Yeah I do almost fall into food coma after realising I yawned like a hundred times the whole afternoon. LOL.

Since I head to a shopping mall so far from home I had to buy things along the way. I feel I go there probably once a year. (-_-) The shops have changed so much. But nevertheless, Daiso is the place to do spend your money away on almost useless things haha.

Look at that!! All the pretty flower print envelopes and cards. How can I ever resist them! Although I still have such in my collection box. But those are new designs! Also a good reason to give to my friends when I grab gifts for them. hehe. （＾∇＾）


At least, I'm getting gifts in return too...

Speaking of gifts, I have never received things like cups, cushion and books from any of my friends, while I do get those for them. Don't I find it weird? (≧ω≦) I thought those are common to get, but I have never gotten any of those so to be honest, I was a little disappointed. I have a friend who told me she got too many cups that her dish shelf probably couldn't fit all those anymore. To think that I actually got envy of such! Lol. But really, I couldn't understand why won't anyone get me something more meaningful like a book too? Do I look like someone who needed food like snacks so much? Plushies are okay but cushion would be more comfortable to have. Well, I'm just saying. I can't expect that much and it's not like someone would ask me "What do you want to receive as a present?" I don't pin on such direct words myself. Although I'll probably be direct enough to ask someone what do they like to have haha.

Well, I'm too much like a Santa already. Wonder if anyone appreciates this. Sometimes I feel so tired giving out so much and have no idea if the receiver cherish them.

It's kinda hard sometimes.  (┯_┯)

16th lyric release - Flowers of despair

Ahhh, it's already April and there's been so much going on that I've missed the time to post my lyrics monthly as I would like to. (>_<) I'm really sorry towards myself and my dear blog. lol.  So as of now I'm lagging behind with 3 lyric posts. But I wanna find the right mood to choose which I wanna release for the month. Yet I guess now this doesn't really matter since my mood goes up and down anyway. (；´Д｀) So please check out my lyrics posts that's coming up when I feel like posting them asap so that I can catch up with what I wanna convey for the month... Anyways, I hope anyone will say they like it as much as I do! （・□・；）

A depressing one this time... when I was all sad just last month.

[Inspired by BUCK-TICK - メランコリア-]

Flowers of despair
Glass of desires
Heart of stone
This stage where I'm dancing, all alone
and the only audience who will applause
is acting too

Gazing at the moonlight
white feathers are falling off me
Covered by darkness, I'm no longer myself

*Deep romance they pricked with no shame
Who is there to hold my frozen hand dripping in red
Buried in withered flowers,
let me drink to the last drop

Chains of distress
Song of contempt
This stage where I am, acting all alone
for the only audience who is dancing...

Fascinated by the moonlight,
I bring my smile to the darkness before me
As the feathers are leaving me,
I'm no longer myself

*Deep romance they pricked with no shame
Who is there to hold my frozen hand dripping in red
Buried in withered flowers,
let me drink to the last drop

The final scene of myself
dancing and acting without a trace...

~~~~~
The stage is all mine now.

I'm learning to be myself all over again..

~~Yuuka

Regret purchases?

Yeah back with update on my skincare and cosmetics!

Wanted to do a mini review on some of the products that I've used just a while ago:
1. The gel eye masks I've bought long long ago but only to use them now (ーー゛) lol. Well, I've chucked it at a corner in my cabinet and so it was forgotten. I used to have a bad impression of gel masks cos I've used those before but it's for the face. I dislike them cos they were expensive and I don't feel a thing at all!! Aren't they supposed to make you feel your skin is moisturized and refreshed? But nope, I didn't feel that at all so I was disappointed. I thought that I shouldn't get those anymore but I was thinking if I should try the eye masks. So the results are just the same as what I've experienced. Moreover, you have to handle the gel really carefully cos it'll break off easily. So yeah, it's not my kind after all. (-_-)

2. Makeup remover Ultra cleansing gel is not one that I like either! Coincidentally, it's also in a 'gel' form as what they called it. It's actually kinda thick in consistency. It smells nice and it really is powerful in removing makeup, but it gives a sticky and soapy feeling which I don't like it on my face at all. I feel I definitely need to wash it thoroughly off my face so that I'll feel better. Argh so I won't recommend this to anyone. I guess I should have picked up their cleansing water instead. I wonder if that is also good in their removing power but I'm not sure if I'll get it the next time lol. Since I have another Bifesta bottle to use and I've tried a cleansing oil sample and I'm totally impressed with it!! It smells even more fragrant than any makeup removers that I've used and it removes really well. It acts like a facial wash for you to wash those makeup off your face. Now I have the urge to get this type of product the next time I'm done with what I have currently. lol. yeah since after all I'll still wash my face after using the remover might as well I get something that's 2-in-1? It seems like such products are getting popular too!


Now come to the those that I've bought 2 weeks ago. I ended up buying masks again and more eye masks!! I got a new BB cream from CANMAKE and well, I kinda regret cos the shade doesn't match my skintone. There's only 2 available shades available and I've always thought the lightest one might be too light for me since Japanese people have really lighter skintone and they are really into whitening. So I thought I should get the second one they deemed as 'Natural'. Argh no it wasn't!! It has that orangey-tone and it made me look kinda tanned!! Wasn't sure how the lighter one will turn out to be. I'm pretty okay with how this BB cream is except for the tone. I don't know if I should continue using this but yeah serves me right for wanting to try new things out when I already have some good ones on hand. ヽ(≧Д≦)ノ

Now this post seems like a review of the regret purchases I've done recently. lol.

But it's okay. Lesson learnt. Stick to the ones that I've satisfied with. Ooh and the new eyebrow pencil...Hmm I wasn't really using a lot of the product since my brows now are more in shape and I just use it to fill in some spaces. I can't really evaluate how good is this so far I guess I need a bit more time with eyebrow products. Overall, this is my little shopping from March.

Look what's more, facial masks bought from my dear friend~
*yes you know I support U!* 

Haven't started using one yet! See I have tons of facial masks for me to slowly pamper my skin. lol. I'll do my review once again the next time! (^ε^)


A little pity for something.. A dress that a friend gave me as a little gift.

It looks really good but the material is just too thin! It'll be a hassle to get some sort of inner wear just for a dress don't you think! I've not had such a thin dress at all that makes me feel like I'm exposing myself and that's uncomfortable. So, I had to say bye to this dress. I'm tearing too but I know I won't be wearing it at all so I have to let this go. I hope I'll not get blamed for this. Dang~ I don't get clothes as presents that often I wonder is this the reason why? haha but nope I didn't tell that to those who got me such. (^_^;)


Why I ended up writing regrets here. Oh well.. sometimes it's just inevitable.

But I'm glad I'm done with what I have to!  ^_^

To Shua,

Dear Shua,
Do you know I'm missing you so much?!! I was so not used to the first few days without you. It's as though some part of me is missing in my life suddenly. I was afraid I couldn't smile again. I have no idea what to do. Now that it's been two weeks or so, but time seems to move slower than I thought. I want those endless chats that we can have each day. I want the good old laughter from day to day. I know I have began to rely on you so much. But it's still a fortunate thing isn't it? Although missing someone can be such a pain, just like how I missed isshi so much. But that's different. I'm not saying you give me pain though, I'm just.....argh! I can't bear to live like this without you that's all! I hope you feel the same. Maybe I'm too emotional by saying this. Please don't mind about that. I just wanna express my feelings rather than suppressing them. As you know, I'll still be saying, I love you buddy. I hope you are doing good and eating well. I shall wait for your return.

With loves,
Yuuka 24.01.16

~~~~~
Dear Shua,
Hey my dear... I wonder how have you been. Do you miss me too? Have you been sleeping well? It's getting weirder for me to not talk to you for so long. I wanna hear your reply so that I'll feel at ease. I don't know how's it all going for you since it's not like we can talk on the phone. All I can do is to tell u here that I'm probably quite well. I miss having you around. Sometimes when I feel troubled or tired there's no one I can talk and laugh anymore, I'm afraid it'll build up. I might have to be stronger by myself, but it feels meaningless on one hand. Will I have the motivation like before? Or maybe I can write a song from missing you, I don't know. I'm still doubtful at times. I miss having you as my strength.

Well I'm not gonna tear on this day since it's the new year. But I hope u understand me.

Miss you loads,
Yuuka 07.02.16

~~~~~
Dear Shua,
My health wasn't that good at the start. It doesn't seem good for the new year isn't it? lol. Please urge me so that I will take better care now.  I really I'm like half-dead since no one cares. (T_T)

Missing you,
Yuuka 28.02.16

Oh gosh, so these are the ones I've written after you left for some time. Yeah I was kinda embarrassed to post all these for you to read. lol. It's not a lot but I guess if you still aren't back yet I'll continue to write more. haha. But I don't know if this feels silly or scary to u? Hope you don't mind all these I've written.Wasn't supposed to make you feel uncomfortable. (^_^;) Anyway I'm glad that you're back and well! Congrats having that guitar with U! Oops but I haven't completed listening Isshi's solo album yet, and the rest of the Kagrra, no Su episodes. There's just so many things to do!!!  I hope I can complete them all during my lifetime. To make it sound less stressful, I still have so many more years to do so right? LOL. I'll update you or right at my blog when I'm done with something Kagrra,. And I hope you can get a full Kagrra, song played using your guitar. Looking forward to more that's waiting for us!

Thanks for being my buddy dancing panda! (⌒‐⌒)

From your best pal,
Yuuka

Loads of awesomeness!!

Happy April!!
Now that I can blog freely on my lappy after such a long time!! ♪───Ｏ（≧∇≦）Ｏ────♪ I miss typing on my keyboard and ever since I can get my internet back I quietly swear to myself I shall blog more whenever I can! LOL.

Well well this shall be a happy post since I was having so much fun yesterday and I've discovered the Kagrra, green tea [Oops I've began to name it that way xD] in more variety HOW CAN I NOT BE EXCITED!  (≧▽≦) I'm already happy to discover a new Japanese supermart at a new side of the shopping mall and not to mention how thrilled was I to see those green teas. ♪～(´ε｀　)

LOOK AT THAT AWESOMENESS!! It's not just the regular 500ml bottle, there's also the cute 1L bottle and in 340ml canned and also in powdered form!! \(☆∀☆)/

Damn those sold here are even more authentic cos the packaging is full of Japanese words rather than the ones I bought earlier in February at an ordinary supermart that has English words on it lol. It definitely feels great to hold them in my hands. Hahaha. The next time when I'm gonna come here again, I shall buy the canned and the powdered (maybe). There may not be any difference in the taste, but it just feels like a sense of achievement having to tried them all as a fan [although Kagrra, did not promote this at all xD] and they appear to look like a set of awesomeness. (^o^)


And since it's all about my Kagrra, at this moment, I wanna give my thanks to my dear Tua who sent me so much lovelies from Japan! The postcards really do give off a Kagrra feel.

Thanks for everything!!
It all came at the right time to lift up my mood once again. ٩(๑´3｀๑)۶


I will do my best and start to refine my timetable better for more stuffs that I'm gonna accomplish! 
I shall be the best of myself.  (^｡^)

わからない、、、

Oh my gosh...it's already April now and look how little my posts is for the month of March. >_< I'm equally troubled since I don't have the internet at home for the past month and it baffles me how such a problem is to be solved in this house. I guess I won't have it anytime soon yet so I can only bear with it and do this mobile post just to feel better. T_T

Well, I haven't been feeling that good anyway and it just sucks cos home is not a place where I can relax or feel better anymore. I find work more enjoyable than being at home. It's amusing how I ended up finding other people being more understanding than ur own family members. Well everyone has their own set of problems so...I'm not someone who wanna say too much about my own to others. But I've heard a lot, and I know. I badly wanna leave this place since a long time ago... I know this is not the place where I belong. This is not the kind of life that I wanna lead. And I don't like to be ordered around and being hurried at. It's stupid enough that I didn't even get the basic respect as a human. I had enough of such a life. I definitely began to miss the time when I get to stay at a friend's house for 2 weeks. It was the most awesome time of my life for that I can ever remember. Because I can get to chase after my favourite singer and have the absolute freedom I was yearning for. I want it back so much again. I need the peace and freedom to be myself. I need to have my own life rather than stuck in here. I feel that I haven't really lived my life at all doing whatever I want but to keep considering for those who didn't really cared about me. I feel so tired having to be trapped by such responsibilities. 

Since I wasn't wanted in the first place, why did u bother to bring me to this Earth?? 

I just couldn't understand...