My purchases ~August 2015

I'm so so so tired!!

I was crazy enough to make myself complete 2 animes over the past week and this, cos I just can't resist not to know how the story progress until later. It was a torture, since I ended up sleeping late at night than usual. And it took me long to enter into dreamland. My sleep was somehow affected again. Although this time the reason isn't due to stress. lol. >_< It's as though I asked for it. =(

But how can I give up on my entertainment!!  (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`)

September is gonna arrive real soon and I'll be even busier. I don't know how will I have time for those. So I should probably stop, or really restrict to one episode per day the most. Argh... but that still hurts.. Why is it so hard to arrange time to fit in everything!! 24 hours is never enough!! （＞０＜）


Oh wells, let me go into my purchased stuffs. I was busy with shopping yesterday I haven't got anything properly done. I had nap yesterday and today though, cos I was far too tired with aches everywhere to study or whatsoever. This time it really got into me. ｡ﾟ(ﾟ´Д｀ﾟ)ﾟ｡

Maybe I shouldn't be tearing so much now. lol.

I'm glad that my staple HydraWhite foundation now comes in a twin pack and so it's worth the buy! I think I'm really stuck with this foundation since I can't find anything else better to try.  But I can't find a good concealer yet I hope my current one still able to last. 

I can't stand my tired-looking eyes everytime I see them in the mirror. xD I feel that I have to grab more eye masks for myself. This one is meant for reducing puffiness. Have used one of it but I'm not sure if it did worked, but it's really relaxing to use them. It also has a different shape from the previous one that I've used and this one is just easier to put on. Man, I think they should sell more of these eye masks not just facial masks!

Bought BB cream in the end since I didn't see any CC cream out there that I feel like trying out. I tested out Maybelline one but it feels so oily to me so I don't wanna get that! Anyway I think I've not buy their products for quite a long time. (-_-) The lip gloss is actually for free and I kinda like it. It doesn't dry my lips out like Maybelline's. So my conclusion is that Maybelline is just not suitable for me, I guess I've pretty much have given up on using their products. Lol.

Maybe I'm getting more interested in essence products. lol. I saw this brit-tea series that look so sweet! I can't resist it! I supposed it's limited edition? I got the eyeshadow and a nail polish. In fact I feel like giving as a gift. I shall use them later when I feel like it. (*'▽'*) But I wonder will my heart still feel itchy to get them when I passed by the drugstore again. Oops. xD


I don't know if I'm considered fickle-minded or not, when I got a lip balm without colour, I wanted to get a coloured one. And when I have a coloured one, I want to get a non-coloured one. Lol!!! So now I went to get a non-coloured to be used at home, since my lips been drying out sometimes. The smell of it is really nice! Pomegranate white tea is probably the first time I see such a flavour, which already smells nice when I see the name. Haha. 

And one more thing that I can't resist is rubber stamps! Finally I saw something cute like this sold at Daiso. They should sell more! lol. I got this one with Japanese words. I think it'll make it more fun to use. haha. Let's see if I'm able to expand such a collection of mine. xD


Now moving on to food! My weekend sinful lunch.  hahahaha. 2 big scallops, salmon and asparagus baked rice. Maximum satisfaction! I enjoyed it sooooo much!!

Dessert is my usual favourite red bean with orange zest. I love that the taste always remain...reminds me of the first time I ate there and how it won me over. lol.

Alrights, I have to blog about the 2 animes soon that I've completed. I must have the time to write about them!!! Hope I'll still remember the details that I wanna mention. lol.


Happy September! I'm still missing August. It's been quite a good month. I just need more holidays. Ahhh~~~

Am I losing touch...?

It's been quite a while since I mentioned about Ayu..

In fact I'm a little scared that I'm losing touch now, since I've been so much into rock. And recent Ayu songs still can't get into me idk why.. I'm still stuck in COLOURS era. I just have no feels for A ONE despite listening to it a few times this month. I've no idea if it's my problem cos this made me feel guilty for ended up like that. And for sixxxxxx, I haven't yet listen to those in full yet cos I don't have the mood to. Can someone just tell me off?  (¬_¬)

Although I feel bad for doing so, I was also a little upset to know from a friend that her fandom for Ayu has died off...Well, she's not the only one, I've seen quite a few people moved on from Ayu. Well I can't be too upset or anything since I'm not in any way better than them, although I'm still supporting Ayu. I was wondering maybe at this period of time it should be a hiatus for me from pop songs? Not that I don't enjoy them now, I just need a break from some things sometimes? Cos if I forced myself it'll not turn out good. Of course I'm still an Ayu fan, but somehow I need to get my feels back. The time has to be right too I guess. 

Ayu news from last month:

Not good news of her again, saying that her tickets have to be given off at LINE app to fill up the seats. I wonder if this is true...

Then this was saying Ayu isn't in a good relationship with her hubby now, and so she's back now in Japan. I remember watching her interview and performance at NHK show where she cried... I couldn't understand actually. Was that so serious of abandoning everyone that led her to cry? I don't know what to make out of it. I'm just glad she's constantly making music and singing, but sometimes I hoped she'll also take a break so that she can clear her mind and probably get better after that. Even I'm worried of how her life goes... （・□・；）


That said, I've just watched vid of Ayu on anation 2015 Aug 22nd.. It seemed kinda tough for her to sing live now. Is it due to her left ear that's affecting her a lot now? I wonder is that the case. And for me.....I'm not that enjoying much. It's really strange. I'm really losing touch. This doesn't make me happy at all. (┯_┯)


I need to find myself back someday with Ayu in me....

Anime: Death parade デス・パレード

I actually felt a bit off that I wasn't catching up on any anime for the past month. I feel something was missing in my life! Can't believe this when I thought I should stop since I haven't got the time. And I didn't think it would be that bad. But then again, watching them made me feel good cos I was looking forward to something, especially wondering how the story goes. And so, my life continues to be a tiring thing again. lol. Juggling with work, study and such useless entertainment. ( ´∵｀)

Somebody should really stop me. (-_-)

Death parade デス・パレード [12 episodes] → I like the story concept. That the Arbiters have to pass a judgement on where the souls of the dead of 2 persons should be sent to after they played a game. It's interesting to see the dark side of humans, and I agree with what Nona is doing by creating extreme conditions to see their reactions and upon having their memories back. Well, I'm equally hating the way humans are, even though I'm also one. >_<

Probably I'm just someone quite into death-themed, afterall. (｡-_-｡) 

A cat just has to appear in the anime I'm watching. xD

Decim has been repeating this sentence of his quite a few times throughout the anime. Well that's cos he is a dummy and didn't get to live the life of a human I guess. I kinda pity him though, how was he able to judge when he doesn't understand humans well? But of course on one hand, if he knows, he'll probably let his emotions swayed and ended up making the wrong judgement. That's just how contradicting it is, cos he was in fact the only arbiter that has got human emotions injected in him [Nona did it on purpose] and that's when he felt what sorrow is, which is indeed painful...

It's really a very tearful anime, especially when he and Chiyuki cried. It made me so sad too. There are times where he grabbed his chest, I was wondering why he had that action, later to realized that he was actually experiencing a heartache, and something that he got fumbled upon when he realized what that is. 

I'm also touched when Chiyuki doesn't want to be selfish to return back to her life cos she feel that there are many others who want to continue living and she just can't bring herself to let anyone lose his life in exchange for hers. It's not just her but also some others that made me feel a little angry for them to commit suicide over small matters that they shouldn't have, in which after they realized that when they're already dead, they regretted their decision and wonder why did they chose death. (-_-)

Anyway she does have a good ending of being reincarnated. It was at the last episode that I realised the heads on top of the elevator represent whether the souls will be sent for reincarnation or banished into the void. So getting that white head is better than the devil head. Cos the void is really a scary place. (,_,)

The last touching part is where Decim keeps Chiyuki's dummy with him for his future judgement of other souls. Kinda scary though. haha. But I was also wondering what made Chiyuki so special to him... Did he like her in any bit? Is that the case? Is it just cos she was different from the rest where she knows she's dead but she can't recall why. Because I can't find anything special in her. lol.

The ending is pretty okay, nothing good or bad though. But I had to tear quite a bit since there are many sad stories behind the people who are dead.

Anyway, I'm quite impressed with the rules that have been repeated quite a few times in this anime too. Let me get them down here:

One: Arbiters cannot quit making judgements, for that is the reason why they exist.
Two: Arbiters cannot experience death, for that would bring them too close to being human.
Three: Arbiters cannot feel emotions, for they are dummies.
Four: Arbiters may not work hand in hand with life for that will ruin them.

I don't understand the fourth one though, and that was only mentioned at the last episode.. And I just think this is kinda complicated to me, that they existed but they're not considered as being alive and living? Just cos they can't experience death. But they have consciousness, they have to see and judge things, why say that they aren't living? Arbiters have a life too!! What's with the way how they define life as. lol.. too complicated for me to handle.


The thing that I get from this anime, is on wondering about how after-life is. How does the other world look like.....

I need to be revived!

I enjoyed Michelle Phan's pillow talk and I'm glad that she's doing more of this!






Point to note:
Failure invites change.
Feeling isolated is only temporary.
Inspiration ignites passion, jealousy ignites insecurity.
Time separates memories.

I've been thinking about what she's saying, and then looking at myself... and then wondering about my current life. (・_・) Not that I'm not happy with it, I always thought I should be doing more. But what have I achieved? How have I changed? How has things been going? It has been the same isn't it? Is that good? How can I change that? How should it be? What's the best way for me? What does everyone think now? Do I fit in? Did I done what I should have? Is this where I should be?

Why do I have so many questions suddenly!! What was I fretting about?  (,_,) 

Maybe work gets a bit too heavy recently, that I have been working till a little late since the long holidays last week does affect and brought a lot of work that has to be done. I'm feeling a little guilty from time to time when I'm unable to accomplish them for the day, but then continuing them when I couldn't think properly would make it worse maybe. And I hate to make mistakes cos it resulted in more work to correct them. (-_-)

And also, I have to focus on important things that made me unable to attend activities like I used to, I feel like I'm gonna miss out a lot on my social life. (T_T)

Probably what troubles me is that I'm unable to manage them all and have enough rest. Good grief.


I hope I'm conscious enough too that it doesn't cost my health cos I've been feeling not quite in the zone lately. I'm starting to lose enthusiasm for some thing...  。・°°・(＞_＜)・°°・。


SO! I need to be revived!

Maybe I need to meditate to get rid of all thoughts!! و(¯―¯٥)


Back to talking about my passion: One thing that I'm kinda surprised is to see Michelle mentioning about looking into engineering for origami! That hasn't crossed my mind although I love origami quite a lot. Now I'm starting to miss it cos I have lots of origami paper with me I bought so much from Daiso years ago but I haven't got the mood to fold them for a very long time!! I miss this little hobby of mine. I looked back at my old posts and I realised the last I did was 3 years ago. [Not including the paper cranes in 2013] I was wondering if I should throw those away cos I didn't get to use those at all. Well are origami products of any use by the way? Lol. (^_^); They are....probably just for me to admire my little effort during my free time. That's sad. Hmph...


For once, I probably need to revive my hobby back. I need to do more.


But then,

I do need to heal my heart, the most.~ ♥

It's Kagrra, time! Or maybe just Urei time~~

This holiday I wanted to watch those Kagrra, VCDs that my friend has lent to me few months back..Gosh I have been dragging it for quite some time. I've always ended up doing things that my mood leads me to. I wasn't really concentrating nor going to watch all the videos in full cos I think I won't have all the time to enjoy everything. xD  I do went to click on every video and briefly see what are those, and there are some Kagrra, no Su episodes that I've already watched before! Wow those bring back memories where I can watch them for as long as I can since I was really kinda free back then as a student. (≧▽≦) I had a few laughs while watching those bits, especially the Orange juice competition which I love most! Well then, I have to leave them aside and re-watch them since I've been lagging in all the things that I have to do, plus I need to have enough rest. And so, I'll just post some screencaps of those I've seen today. Hopefully this will tempt me to watch them sometime again soon. lol.

 The gold fan looks very cool!!

I remember coming across this picture of Isshi holding the calligraphy he wrote I supposed. The four Kanji words are shown in full and not like this one in the video. I wonder where is it?? Why don't they show the photos in the video too?  It feels a little incomplete to post that picture although my isshi's face is clearly seen. lol~

Have seen one vid mentioning about Kagrra,'s major debut on 2004 1st January, and what comes to mind is definitely the song 愁 Urei.[Since it's their debut song anyway]

It means Grief, but the feel from it is more like a love song to me. I love Urei so much that I can't remember is it cos of me watching so many Kagrra, lives back then or that it's cos of 沙羅～懐かしの楽園～ Sara~Natsukashi No Rakuen Live Year 2005 cos that image of isshi-sama singing that song just comes to my mind. ｖ（=＾0＾=）ｖ  It's also the only pv that has English words flashing which is what makes it special too.  And I simply love the last line too much. ♥

"貴女が居て~ You are still here"

Because of my love for this song, I have always wanted to write something like Urei too. It's really too beautiful and I'm kinda stuck now at writing sad dark songs since I wasn't at all happy and into the mood of writing with nice beautiful words. lol. But I know, time will come and allow me to write something similar to this beautiful work of isshi's. It will!! (^o^) It takes time for inspiration to come and I'll just have to be patient, since I've used to forced my inspiration and it didn't end up that nice at all. lol. 

So now let me sink into Isshi's beauty~ (*^◯^*) ♡

This last scene is too beautiful and dreamy for me~~ It's as though isshi is reaching out to me~


Let my mood be beautiful for you too~

Introducing CC cream

I've just started using my CC cream on the weekend and I was really impressed with it! I know I must be really slow to start using it now when it's already quite the hype probably two years back. I even saved the articles I took last year. lol. Only now then I'm talking about it.

But well, probably these 2 articles focused more on promoting the brands than mentioning the properties of CC cream in general. (-｡-;) I wasn't into getting those expensive brands as above so I'm not sure if they're that good. Somehow they just don't tempt me. haha. (-_-)

Anyway, the Skin Flat CC gel that I used was really much better than any BB cream! It absorbs fast and feels smooth and powdery that I'm comfortable with. It actually acts as a pore eraser too so no wonder I have got the powdery feel after I applied it! It's exactly stated like that in the packaging. (*´з｀*) So it is a 5-in-1 product acting as a beauty serum, makeup base, foundation, powder and sunscreen. Just like BB cream where they're supposed to be multi-functional. Somehow I just feel it's definitely way better than BB cream but maybe I can't just solely conclude it based on one CC cream that I've used? And I think I love it more cos of that powdery feel that absorbs fast into my skin. The coverage is better than BB cream too imo. Since it's already this good, I shall try to get more and make a CC cream 'collection' post someday like I did for My BB creams. haha. And I'm gonna get those from drugstores cos I just love to shop there a lot. Hopefully those drugstores brands are as good too. I don't wanna be disappointed!


Let me do more shopping too, I'm bored!

9th lyric release - 儚い幻

Yeah now that it's August, suddenly I'm in a better mood!! July's been kinda tough to go through, but I believe this month's much better! ╰(*´︶`*)╯ I'm glad that I have some time to change my blog banner to my lovely Kagrra, in which it made me feel so good!! And today's the birthday of my dear buddy therefore I wanna dedicate this work of mine to you~ I love this lyric cos I was inspired by my favourite Kagrra, song and it's something positive this time. I wrote it last year though, so it was full of memories. I hope you would like this little gift of mine to you. Best buddy forever~~ (*´∀｀*)♥

[Inspired by Kagrra, し、み、め、ゆ、き、さ、あ]

儚い幻 (はかないまぼろし）
*Lavish dreams, mystical reality
outreaching thoughts, fading touch

The days when I thought the moon was following me
The belief that I cannot ignore
The recollection that I cherish the most

*Unspoken hopes, intense aspiration
everlasting imagination, fleeting triumph

The drip of affection that inspires me
The phenomenon that transcends
The trivia that has became so dear to me

Such sweet moments could only linger in my heart
where all things transpires from time to time
now I can't relate to my old self

*Lavish dreams, mystical reality
outreaching thoughts, fading touch
*Unspoken hopes, intense aspiration
everlasting imagination, fleeting triumph

I wouldn't cry but to be moved to tears
With that expanding faith,
shall I be making an old dream of mine come true...

 ~~~~~
I hope your dreams come true too. 

And let Kagrra, live in our hearts forever~ 

Happy birthday Shua! 

~~Yuuka

No one knows.

Again and again I was bothered by the same problem.

If it's just keeps going on from the same group of people I guess by now I should have known where I stand.

Probably the best way is to forget and let them be...

and I shall continue to be an invisible person there just to occupy space.

 Harsh truth that is, probably it wasn't the place where I belong. 

Despite letting a few of them know, they probably think I'm just taking it all too seriously and I'm like a fool.

Because none of them would have cared as much as I do, in a way.


Slowly, I will find my place somewhere... Well, maybe just here.

I will just be here.


Because writing is the best thing that I can do now.

And no one knows.