Completed reading another book but it took me some time to get back to having the mood to read. lol. It was a little boring at first, since this book gave lots of examples, scenarios and results from researches. Nevertheless, I feel this book gave nice tips talking about how to gain happiness, although in a more practical way than in inspiring sense. (=-ω-)zzZZ乙乙
Here are some of my notes from this book:
{my thoughts are in *}
Success first, happiness second has been proven to be the wrong formula.
● Happiness is the precursor to success → optimism fuel performance and achievement.
Definition of Happiness is relative to the person experiencing it.
Positive emotions - pleasure combined with deeper feelings of meaning and purpose
eudaimonia → human flourishing
*My definition of happiness: the joy of grateful I'm alive to do what I want. (*'▽'*)♪
10 most common positive emotions
Joy, gratitude, serenity, interest, hope, pride, amusement, inspiration, awe and love.
Crucial to human happiness: Pursuing meaning life goals, scanning the world for opportunities, cultivating an optimistic and grateful mindset, holding on to rich social relationships.
Principle 1: The Happiness Advantage
Activities to improve our mood
1. Meditate → take 5 min to watch your breath go in and out. Try to remain patient while doing so.
2. Find something to look forward to → most enjoyable part of an activity is anticipation.
3. Commit conscious act of kindness
4. Infuse positivity into your surroundings → make time to go outside, watch less tv.
5. Exercise → release endorphins (pleasure-inducing chemicals) Walk, bike, run, play, stretch, jump rope, pogo stick
6. Spend money on experiences → especially with other people
7. Exercise a signature strength → each time we use a skill we are good at, we experience a boost of positivity.
Principle 2: The fulcrum and the lever
We can't change the reality, but we can use our brain to change how we process the world, and that in turn changes how we react to it. → Adjusting our brain so that we see the ways to rise above our circumstances.
Our power to maximise our potential:
1. length of our lever → how much potential power and possibility we believe we have
2. position of our fulcrum → the mindset with which we generate the power to change.
Placebo effect: mindset doesn't just change how we feel about an experience, it actually changes the objective results of that experience.
Expectancy theory: the brain is organised to act on what we predict will happen next.
The mental construction of our daily activities, more than the activity itself, defines our reality.
The more you believe in your own ability to succeed, the more likely it is that you will. Beliefs are so powerful because they dictate our efforts and actions.
What potential meaning and pleasure already exist in what you do.
A rote or routine task can be meaningful if you find a good reason to be invested.
● When we believe we can do more and achieve more, that is often the precise reason we do achieve more.
Principle 3: The tetris effect
Inattentional blindness → our frequent inability to see what is often right in front of us if we are not focusing directly on it.
Nothing had changed but your
focus.
How to wire your brain → list down
3 good things that happened that day, your brain will be focused to scan the last 24 hours for potential positives
Principle 4: Falling up
Learning helplessness → When we fail, or when life delivers us a shock, we can become so helpless that we respond by simply giving up.
People often 'overlearn' the lesson and apply it to other situations.
For a hypothetical situation, because it's invented, we actually have the power to consciously select a counterfact that makes us feel fortunate rather than helpless.
Explanatory style → has a crucial impact on our happiness and future success. When you're optimistic, you interpret adversity as being local and temporary.
Learn your ABCDs
A: Adversity is the event we can't change; it is what it is
B: Belief is our reaction to the event; why we thought it happened and what we think it means for the future
C: Consequence → if we see adversity as short-term or opportunity for growth, it'll maximise the chance of a positive consequence
D: Disputation → what is the evidence for the belief
Adversities, simply don't hit us as hard as we think they will. Our fear of consequences is always worse than the consequences themselves.
Principle 5: The Zorro circle
One of the biggest drivers of success is the belief that our behaviour matters; that we have control over our fate.
Internal locus of control → their actions have a direct effect on their outcomes as opposed to external locus → see daily events as dictated by external forces.
The circle we need to draw -
self-awareness.
● During high levels of distress, the quickest to recover are those who can identify how they are feeling and put those feelings into words.
"
Don't write a book, write a page..."
"
just try to set expectations well."
Principle 6: The 20-second rule
Common sense is not common action. → Knowledge is only part of the battle, without action, knowledge is often meaningless.
Habits form because our brain actually changes in response to frequent practice.
It takes 21 days to make a habit.
Willpower is ineffective at sustaining change because the more we use it, the more it worn out it gets. → Don't rely on willpower!
If we want to create a lasting change, turn each desired action into a habit, so that it'll come automatically without effort, thought or choice.
● Lower the activation energy for habits you want to adopt, and raise it for habits you want to avoid. → lower the barrier to change by just 20 seconds to form a new habit.
Rules are especially helpful during the first few days of behaviour-changing venture.
Principle 7: Social investment
When we encounter an unexpected challenge or threat, the only way to save ourselves is to hold on tight to the people around us and not let go.
When we make positive social connection, the pleasure-inducing hormone oxytocin is released into our bloodstream, immediately reducing anxiety and improving concentration and focus.
~~~~~
So what I have to do now: improve my mood by doing the few activities, have a strong belief in myself that I can do it, wire my brain to be positive and optimistic, focus on those within my control, form new habits and spend good time with my friends (those around me).
Thank goodness, lesson learnt! lol.
