Happy birthday isshi-sama♪ ~ 07 Dec 2016

It's the time for me to blog about isshi's birthday once every year!

I have to work on that day so early morning I can only check out the tweets and see if Nao has mentioned about him. ♪～(´ε｀　)

I couldn't think of what else to say other than the usual birthday wish to him. [That being said cos I've not touched my Japanese for a while >_<] And I'm glad that there are Japanese fans who 'liked' my simple tweet to isshi. They wrote it better than I do! haha. But anyway, at least I've planned out and posted my old lyric to isshi on his birthday as a present to him. I'm even happier to know that this song appears to be the top of my buddy's list for my lyric writing!! (*ﾟ∀ﾟ*)☆彡

Thanks man. It's all worth that I've spent so much time on it. Although sometimes when I read back at them again, I just don't feel satisfied or happy with it.

I'm glad you like my writing so much, especially the ones I wrote for you.

I wanna write more and better ones for the upcoming year. Please give me inspiration too.

Love you guys.ヽ(*´з｀*)ﾉ

Cosmos #03 | Merry Christmas!

It's a beautiful week isn't it? We're all getting into the holiday mood and I find myself to be having such a great time looking for presents and wrapping them, despite that my wrapping skills just sucked a lot. I supposed no ones cares about that since the gift itself should be the main thing. For once I can't believe that I enjoyed this process cos getting gifts has always been a headache thing for me to do. Just last week I was cracking my head over what to get for my co-workers and my manager so that it'll be a good impression to them. I guessed it's about spotting the right item at the right moment so it relieved the headache that I thought I would have lol. Somehow this has became a silent practice where we don't say it verbally that we're gonna get presents for each other but everyone just do it. Well, that's how it works when you're in the working world isn't it? Luckily the other departments didn't get me a thing cos I didn't get a thing for them either so I can save my money. hahaha.

So here comes the presents that I've received and bought.

^ I like that mug with the bear a lot! I bought cups for all my co-workers with the hand cream below. I'm really happy now cos finally I received a cup as a present! It was something that has bothered me early this year. Now this has came true. lol.

^ I bought the Etude house promo set and shampoo from the hair salon that I've been visiting regularly. The present I got for myself would be signing up a scalp treatment package at the salon in which I'm pampering myself so much for the first time!! (^ε^)-☆!! I have never cared my hair so much and now that I'm spending a bomb on it. But it's all worth since my scalp condition improves a lot. And I really really love the head massages that my stylist has given me. She's really awesome! It's the best hair service I have ever experience and I also can't believe I would even plan my time and travel such a long way just for it. (≧▽≦) I've never been this crazy about my hair! But for one little regret is that, my zits have been appearing!! I just can't spread my attention to all parts of my body. I feel like I can only do one at a time. xD Gradually, I have been using lesser of my facial and eye masks because I have to do so much for my hair. Then when the zits appeared it came to me that hey I haven't been caring for my skin lately because I'm so focused on my hair!! Why!! I just can't do both at the same time since it'll take up so much time! Why can't I do so?? (ﾉ*'ω'*)ﾉ彡┻━┻

And I have been really bad at remembering things lately I forget about what I have to do the next minute. ＼(・o・)/! I must have gotten some strange disease. lol.


Here is my other happiness!! Received such a great parcel from Finland this made me happy and touched for this is my Xmas gift.  ＼(^▽^)／！ I have been sleeping with my Santa hobi so he's been really good. xD

Argh!! Gonna report about my horrible experience from using the nail polish set that my stingy friend gave. It was the most amazing type of nail polish that ever existed cos it WASTED 3 HOURS OF MY LIFE. I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN SINCE IT WAS FROM YOU. ヽ(≧Д≦)ノ

JUST LOOK AT IT! IT ALL CAN BE PEELED OFF FROM MY NAILS. MY NAILS ARE FREAKING CLEAN CAN YOU EVEN BELIEVE I ACTUALLY PAINTED MY NAILS 3 HOURS FOR THIS?

After which I got laughed at by my mum who said that I just gave my nails a 'mask' therapy. (-_-) Damn, this is such a joke I've never used a nail polish that doesn't stick to your nails at all. O_O I'm so not gonna use any of the products that stingy friend gave me. Talking to her is a pain. Using the things she gave me is even more of a pain. (ー_ー)!! You know what, I haven't mentioned before so I'm gonna talk about this now.  She once told me she bought a $3 necklace [in a very happy tone] online because it is SO CHEAP! So she has to buy it FOR ME because it is SO CHEAP! She really stressed the 2 words SO CHEAP at me twice when she gave me the present. What a joke that comes from the mouth of a person who has never need to fret about money and always boast to me about her life but she spends freaking cheap things for me which the necklace even rust by itself when I didn't even wear it at all. It's really such a disrespect. The cheapest ever necklace I bought for myself at an accessories store has never ever rusted mind you. I don't need your freaking stinginess on gifts if you think as if I'm someone who can't afford buying a necklace? I can afford things for myself way better than you do and even of better quality than you can get. Go ahead and spend on your holiday trips and branded goods I don't need your pathetic money to spend on cheap things for me. I don't need your stupid analogy that I don't understand either. I'm so done with this crap omg. A rich person who can't even spend on something decent as a gift. It's so hard to understand her mind. (σ;*Д*)σ死刑！


Okay, enough of this anger in me yesterday but time wasted was really something not good and this is just so unexpected so I really need to get this off me. lol.

Anyway I finally went to eat my fried chicken this Xmas day! Although this is sinful and I just gobbled my food since I was so hungry I somehow can't believe the meal has ended when I feel I haven't have enough taste of the fried chicken. xD But heck this is so satisfying!! I ate as though I haven't had food in thousand years hahaa. But really I haven't had such fried food for a very long time. This is really a special thing to me cos I let myself eat such unhealthy stuff during holidays. hehe. 

I have a good time walking around buying things and also being home with this rain. Holiday is also awesome in this way. ╰(*´︶`*)╯

Merry Xmas to me too!

xx
Yuuka 

While cleaning...

Now that I've started off my cleaning for the new year rather than starting at the last week of December or January just before CNY comes. Well, it's not really a lot to clear since I've KonMari-ed my stuffs this year. But still there's a pile of papers and books on my shelves which poses as a bit of challenge for myself haha. Not that worrying although I always need to spend a bit more time to decide what to do with the things that are not useful to me anymore. Most of the time it's just that I can't bear to dump them all away thinking that I might need them someday in some way. But when I have the mood to be decisive enough it won't be a problem. I can really dump everything away once I feel ready to face it and having them outta my life. haha. One thing to mention yeah, I really find it therapeutic to tear papers. It's really nice to tear them up as a way of goodbye and dump them into the bin. Woo hoo!!

Yeah while I was looking up at one of the pile and saw this I've kept for way too long...

This was homework when I had back in 2003!! Aww man that was 13 years ago. How my handwriting sucks back then. Many have complimented me for it but I really didn't like my handwriting at all although it looks neat. I remembered I read somewhere that says our handwriting ages and this is so true cos I write better now and my words certainly looks more beautiful haha. Okay I wanted to put a picture of my current handwriting but I've no idea what to show so maybe next time. Anyway this was the past so there it goes to the bin as well. I'm showing this so at least I can see how much I have grown haha. ＼(^^)／

Since I'm on to talking about writing, one thing that gets quite popular lately is morning pages. In fact I tried to do so but I must say THIS IS SO NOT FOR ME! I can see their point in getting things off your mind, but I think I can jolly well do that anytime. It's just not effective for me to purposely wake up 30mins earlier and began writing for 3 pages the first thing in the morning [this is what they suggested and that's what's it about] My brain hasn't start to function the moment I wake up and it takes more than an hour for me to be able to think properly lol. I ended up forcing myself to write a page and it got me even more frustrated than I should be getting when it should be having some healing effect instead. (¬_¬) It just doesn't work for me just like what they say about mindmaps and how it helps. Damn nooooo!! It doesn't suit everyone as what you people claimed. Call me an alien or whatever, I just think most of these kind of 'methods' aren't as useful as what it seemed, and I'm not liking it at all. ⋋_⋌ Yeah, so there should be a word of caution like, not all of these will be suitable for everyone. hahaha.


Ahh this is my current love! Bought this Chia seed apple flavoured jelly and shared the other grape flavour with my friend. Wow it was my first time eating such a delicious jelly!! I didn't expect this to be so good!! I was actually getting sick of having jelly pretty soon especially I just got back to eating jelly in October cos I'm not eating it for years. As a kid I've been having that sweet stuff way too much every week that until a time I decided that I have to stop cos it's making me sick!! Now there are all sorts of jelly and especially healthy ones like this so I should give this a chance and I'm glad I done so. What a pity though since it would be better if I bought more of those. ^_^;

Lastly that I want to mention, was that I found records of spending over S$14k on my private university studies! That's for 4.5 years accumulated when I could have completed in 3 years but damn the papers are too tough for us to complete unless you are superman cos either you have to be very smart or that you are super duper hardworking without the need to sleep to be good at solving detective problems in their long ass questions that seemed almost impossible during exams. It's not that I give up on my major for no reason. I tried it last year and it has got my body screwed up for the half a year and I don't want this to happen again. It's really not easy to do work and studies at the same time. I know there are many people who told me that I shouldn't have but it seemed that they just don't understand even though I've explained my point. It's not like you have tried it out and know how's it like, and not everything would suit everyone. I don't need you to agree with me but at least don't say like as though it was my fault? Despite that I've tried and give in my best? Do you even know me well and my situation too? If it's so easy and doable, everyone could have passed and no one would give up mid-way through too. Didn't you know that there are people who gave up even way earlier than I do? You think I didn't feel the pain or pity when I was almost reaching the edge but I just couldn't touch the summit? You think I want it that way? Spending the money and having to fork out the time was no joke. It all puts a toll on me. I have enough of this before I will be completely destroyed. And it's not as though it was my interest nor dream to excel my major to be a top executive or whatever.  I don't need that unnecessary amount of stress. (¬_¬)

Really, I don't need anyone to put their opinions on me and be that rude. I know what I'm doing and I had enough of lectures, even from you around me. Whatever. A full cert doesn't determine everything and I have dreams to fulfill instead of getting stuck in this industry I dislike. Who knows in the future I don't need to be doing the same thing like now. We don't have to stuck at seeing what's only happening right now and assume it'll be the same for the future because there are just too many unexpected things already.


Argh. Had enough of such built-up anger in me already. Don't tell me what to do!!! I know what to do with my own life! I don't owe you a living you don't even need to know either!! (σ;*Д*)σ死刑！Just stop it!!

What can be wrong?

Whatever has happened yesterday and today! I'm still upset with myself now, so yeah what's the best way than to blog here right now. ｡ﾟ(ﾟ´Д｀ﾟ)ﾟ｡  I'm glad I took a day off today but I was thinking since I have a break so why not cook Japanese curry that I've not done for a year already. Yeah so I cramped everything up and planned this. Was that the reason why it didn't turned out good cos subconsciously I wasn't actually ready and have the 'magic' to do so? It was really weird since I followed the same steps as before, but my food got burnt. It's definitely not nice to eat burned food and it hasn't happened for a dish that I was in fact so proud of to do for the past few times. Why does it have to happen now?  (´；Д；｀) Yeah I know it was of no point to cry over it anymore and be so upset but I don't know if I have the mood again to cook this next year or maybe I should do something else. Argh, what's more my salad yesterday turned out sour and it also wasn't on par as compared to last month's. Something is wrong with me and I have no idea why!! It's really so weird!!!

One good reason I can think of to comfort myself would probably be the lack of more than enough sleep that I should be getting. =(

Oops, right now I'm gonna continue my post from missing out a photo for Saturday's!

This is my first xmas present that I received for this year! Thanks to my dear pal for that thought although we take turns to carry the load while climbing last last week. haha. I have no idea for now if I'm able to have the time to do that music box out. It seemed a lot of work to put them together lol. But I would love to try. That's quite a meaningful gift I appreciate that. ❣

And I couldn't resist getting these notebooks of owl prints although the inner pages are just lines and nothing special but the covers just wins over my heart. lol. I'm happily buying them I don't care!! Rather than boring cover notebooks even if they're much cheaper. xD

I don't wanna flood my insta too much with this cutie since my posts are always about food and cats and other boring stuffs but okay maybe it's still food and the same cats. hahaha. (≧▽≦) I really like this blue-eyed but it ignores me mostly and that's the best photo I can take when I get to spot it. Somehow I'm poisoned or something I even have dreams of keeping a cat which brightens up my life but then there are also other bits of weird things appearing in my dreams so I don't know what's going on inside my brain. For some unknown reasons, I've been elongating my sentences I don't know when to stop with a full stop! I just keep blabbering non-stop really somebody has to stop me from getting overly excited and speaking all at once without rest. Oh yeah, maybe that's the problem. I'm not getting the rest I should have. (｡-_-｡) I have to stop at some point my dear bud U should really stop me. And from eating too much chocos!!! (ﾟOﾟ)

Cosmos #02 | Exhaustion!

This title could just sum up my condition for both weeks now. YES I'M SUPER DUPER TIRED! Firstly from work, and then from a tough work-out I did with my pal last Saturday by climbing that steep hill. I was crazy enough perhaps, but I accepted the challenge. xD It was really an awesome thing to do anyway, although I could be hurting my body since I don't usually exercise so much and then I ended up having such exercise all at once. I'm so worried my knees and ankles would hurt. Going up the slope is no kidding that it'll put too much pressure on them. Haha but since I think I'm still young [although I don't consider myself that way] I could recover from it for a few days. So I was mostly recovered and could walk fast by Wednesday. I have to say I'm crazy enough, since I expected that I would be really busy for these 2 weeks with the closing and overtime for 30mins everyday so that I can get them done by the deadline this Friday. Oh yes, I did it!!! Hooray! My co-workers and manager were glad about it! For that they can do their part only after I've done mine, so I can relax better now. Argh but this goes to show I need an extra of 2.5 hours in order to get everything done for November's workload. Now my co-worker reminds me again, there's more stuff in December and it's gonna be more tight schedule than this time so for January next year I'm so gonna be stuffed up again. Well, how could I not expect it? I just have to be prepared for more or what's gonna come that's all. (・・;)

The exhaustion isn't any joke! I haven't been that tired for a long time. I didn't feel that tired on that day itself. But the next day on Sunday it came just right at me! I knocked out right after lunch and couldn't walk any further. I slept my whole afternoon away and felt so unproductive. But it doesn't bother me that much. On Monday I hardly have the energy to move. My leg muscles are aching like mad!! It was way too aching for me to stand any longer. I badly need to sit. My walking speed was reduced quite a lot and spent more time than usual just to walk to and fro from my workplace. But I guess no one bothers since nobody asked me why I walked differently from usual. Or maybe just no one is noticing haha. I was lucky enough to have a seat to and from work on Monday, when it was the time my muscles ache the most. How did I just bear with it? lol. And also because I have to rush work, I didn't even wanna touch my language books cos I believe my brain is fried enough trying to remember all the things I have to do at work and I don't wanna think anymore when my whole body is feeling so beat from all that work-out. Yeah, so here goes my unproductive week, and also for this week maybe, haha. But since I get to rest this time I'll really be making myself do some cleaning and read my books again. Although watching videos is still the best entertainment end of the day since I don't have to stress myself and BTS always makes my day brighter with all that laughter. HAHAHA. (≧▽≦)

Yeah so now let me show some early xmas presents that I received. haha. Well they are not anything special or specifically meant for me but I'm glad I could receive something this soon. And I'm already munching on chocolates cos I couldn't resist! This season is the time to eat a lot of them without feeling guilty at all. Yay!! ヾ(*´∀｀*)ﾉ

I believe this is the limited edition LINE plushies and they are so cute together! ❧

A chocolate snacks packet that I ate them all today already. oops. xD and nice facial masks and lip balm for me.

Oh this one isn't mine at all but my friend who managed to buy this cutie sitting at the shelf which was actually the last one up there. And she decided to call it bae. hahaa. Not that creative at coming up with names for plushies it's tough to think when I'm already so exhausted. But whatever, I'm not good at Korean names yet so anything that you like! Now I'm itching to get a plushie for myself too. I need to have cute things to hug everyday. hahaha. ❥

Yes, and I will be well rested enough to fight for more.

xx
Yuuka

#26 lyric: 残花

I realised I'm in no time to post a November lyric like I wanted to! (>_<)  Luckily I had already got it done before November so in total I will still have a lyric post for each month. It was quite unexpected due to a turn in events and I ended up being into Kpop this November. lol.

But today, it's the special day of my dear isshi-sama, the one whom I will never ever forget of course, and I will be doing something for him once again.

To be honest, I'm kinda struggling as of now to come up with a lyric each month because I haven't been producing enough as compared to last year. It's hard to clear my mind with so many things going on. I need peace so that I can have a clear mind to write in the way I wanted.

I don't know if this would be called as the end to my lyric writing like Kagrra, [I certainly hope not!] but writing in their style has been a challenge for me. What I'm saying is that please don't pin on any high hopes for my future lyric writing. I will still be doing although at a slower pace and might not be in Kagrra, style anymore. I won't know for sure what's next that's gonna inspire me to write in another way which might be different? Other than what Buck-Tick does? It was already unexpected for me to find out that Buck-Tick is my style. But who knows what am I gonna come across next year and find another style of mine again. haha. But of course, it has been an enjoyable journey to began writing that much and to be in my own world. I love to see that I'm also slowly evolving as well and to maintain such a beautiful blog. Welcome to my mystery world!! Now isshi's Queen is gonna present her gift to her beloved man with much sorrow. This work of mine has been ringing in my heart for so long [been 2 years] and I've been hesitating to share. Because I was so afraid of reading it again I might tear. (T ^ T) But it has to be here someday, perhaps. So that I won't regret or anything if my notebook got lost one day. [touch wood!] Either way I'll just be very afraid but I have to choose the best option. This time I am truly prepared to let this lyric be seen by the whole world...


This is for you, isshi-sama ♥

[Inspired by Kagrra, 終焉の季節]

残花(ざんか)
How many times have I came to realise,
only to cherish when things became memories
Even smiles will hide behind

Can I believe coincidence is fate?
If everything happens for a reason we can't control,
it's still beautiful

*The wind blows strongly with no mercy
The rain falls flooding my emotions viciously
However I won't live in disappointment miserably
The warmth will always be surrounding me because you're around

Why are humans sorrow beings?
Why only happiness have to be short-lived yet attractive

How do I deserve this miracle,
knowing that I wasn't alone and crying
Even pain can be nostalgic

*The wind blows strongly with no mercy
The rain falls flooding my emotions viciously
However I won't live in disappointment miserably
The warmth will always be surrounding me because you're around

At least I felt the existence of us
is comforting
Even tears will hide behind

And now I can countdown to eternity
before all my petals fall off
~~~~~
This is our neverending love, isshi-sama.

Even if you didn't get to see this from me.

Thank U for your music and life. It has been so true to me.

I will be better year by year.

And I will certainly wish on your behalf for the better. .｡.:*♡ (๑ˇεˇ๑)•*¨*•.¸¸♪

~~Yuuka

Cosmos #01 | The beginning

Yeah! So December has arrived! One more month to go through and then moving forward to the new year of unknown challenges ahead. lol. Was I excited about this? I feel I have been going through the same set of feelings when it's the very last month of the year and there should always be something nice and better for me to look forward to for the next. And that's why I feel I should attempt to make some little changes to my life somehow, even when it probably has got nothing to do with resolutions lol.

Anyway how grateful am I right here right now, being able to sit at home with this peace and coming up with something new. (*^◯^*) I've decided to have this new set of weekly diary for this blog. I even came up with this name Cosmos, which is one of Buck-Tick's song that I just began to love. It's  that I wanna have a name for things so that I feel it's official and it truly exist. lol. Somehow things really fit in at the right time and I don't know how did all that happen. xD  I've even revived my very old twitter account meant for Kpop and I realised the name I came for it ended up to be so awesome which is a combination of my favourite Jrock and Kpop together. I'm quite a genius isn't it? (≧▽≦) To be frank I think I take long to come up with names but somehow at the very last moment I can finally come up with something I am certain of. It just strikes at me for that second and I'll just pick it. Well, it's the start for that account and also my nonsense for this weekly diary post. Summing up whatever that has happened for the week. The numbering might end up as a mess I think, since I'm starting at this time, not at the new year but whatever, I just want this to start and continue until wherever. What if I ended up too tired at a certain week and skipped posting about it? Argh really. just. whatever, I will do whatever I feel like it and somehow it will turn out great I believe.

Speaking of changes, there's quite a bit of changes happening at work too. We all find it a trouble and have to think about adapting to a new place and new processes..... This is indeed exhausting! I probably shouldn't need to tire myself out from all the thinking, since the workload from the past month has way exceeded than usual and I have to rush by the supposedly deadline before my coworker goes for holiday. Yeah I shouldn't think about it. It doesn't help at all. I should have just do all that I can and have targeted for the day and see how it goes. Everyone knows I have been doing my best. Nothing much can be helped right?? Can I say so? Because it's getting hard to think positively about work so.... (x_x)

Ah.. What else? Now that I'm kinda sleepy to clear my backlog even though I have the time today. lol. Let me do it slowly okay? Few months back I remember I chanced upon this choco corn snack which I love but it was no longer selling in Daiso. I was disappointed but at least I get to taste this from some other Jpn department store. But the packet was so small!! And now I couldn't find anymore of those. I wonder why there isn't any supply for this? Isn't chocolate a popular flavour all along? =(  But anyway, I don't snack that often so I'm not that bothered with this. ^_^;

The best thing that I've bought recently is this Aloe Vera gel but at a higher 98% which works damn well. At least now it healed my small patch of skin from using that pad. I love how it can moisturise my skin so well it's really way better than other body lotions. Now I'm not interested in getting any fragrance kind of lotion but rather this gel that cares for the skin better. If only I got to know about this product earlier I could already have attained better skin and not be lazy in applying lotions anymore. lol. Okay, maybe better late than never.

Ahh lastly, there is this Korean actor who got popular quite sometime ago. [I don't remember his name but never mind] I received this mask many months ago from a coworker though. Took me this long to realise its presence. lol. I'm not sure if this mask is awesome to use or not and whether it leaves a better effect than other masks for it was more expensive that usual mask but let me see when I have the mood to try it on someday. At least I put that handsome face here on my blog hahaha. This one is good since I love flowers. But not that I will really use on a Thursday for it to work well, will I? xD

Since I'm feeling kinda bored without much mood, I know it's time for me to get back to reading. I did do so last week! Since I had a longer weekend. I'm satisfied when I gain something from a book. Although sometimes I feel I need to empty my mind to think better for many other stuffs. Time for me to get all sorted out cos I'm still halfway through in clearing those nasty papers on my book shelf. I wonder why it is endless. -_-

Good gracious for the long post. I hope after my mind gets sorted out I'm able to post more interesting stuffs.

Let's look forward to more.

xx
Yuuka