Maybe I'm not fully prepared. I dun know if I'm doing the right thing. I hesitated. I look through as many as I could. But the more I see the more blur I am!! I can't help but to feel so scared. I dun know how my future will be like. I dun know what should I be looking forward to. I dun know if it was the right thing for me.. =(
I can't sleep that well for the past week. There are other things that scared me too. There was once where I suddenly have palpitations, for no whatsoever reason? It came so suddenly. I dun even know how to calm myself down. Last time it occurred when I was asleep. I dun think I will ever know the reason why. (T_T) Probably I was just too paranoid, too nervous. Maybe I will get a heart attack one day if I go on like this..
ok, So I better calm down now!!
Yes, maybe I should say about something I would like to do. But it's more like just a small dream of mine. Recently I was so into taking care of my hair. Although I have horrible messy hair sometimes, I do envy others with beautiful hair. It looked so lovely!! Something like Namie's long beautiful hair is what I always wanted!! So feminine and pretty. I happened to stop by at a shop and looked at the opposite where it's a hair salon. I can't stop looking at it. How the hairstylist was handling the customers' hair. I felt that I wanna be a hairstylist myself. lol. I can't believe I actually have thoughts about it!! I think I have so many 'dreams' and things I wanna do and yet in the end I think I might not be able to achieve them in the short term, or even at all. (,_,)
Seriously, I dun know what's stopping me. Maybe I just think too much. Perhaps I need lots of courage now. I shouldn't be afraid of failure right. But sometimes I find it so hard to control my feelings.
Probably I should start thinking positively. The future will be good. I should believe in myself. Worrying doesn't help. Maybe something good ahead awaits me. Maybe things will turn out to be better than I thought.
Alright. Stop worrying. Just do it!!
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