Time to slow down a bit...

I have been experiencing sleepless nights for the past months and those instances are just a toll on me.

I really wanna do something about it to change the situation, but no matter what I do it doesn't help. And the people around me and just making things worse for me. I wonder if there's anyone who will spare a thought for me or worry for me at all.

But the fact is, probably none. I just have to keep going. I only have myself.  Who else is there to make sure that I'm living all well and good? Well, maybe really no one.

Maybe I've been thinking too much, everyone probably have their own lives to worry about, needless to say about caring for others. Who would bother to contact everyone on their list as much as I do?


I'm really tired.. I've been pushing myself way too hard. What was I doing? In the end it spells that I just want some attention.. I want to be concerned by everyone.

I hate how things turn out but nothing has been bad or what.. Just that it didn't turn out the way I want it to be. Well I should have known, right? But that's just me, I guess I'm scared I'm losing control.

I've probably pushed myself way too hard than I thought. Probably I'm just not that strong as I thought. And so, one of the thing is that I've decided to stop my weekly posts and post when I feel like it. Do those things when I feel like it but also with an aim to complete them as soon as I can. I can't believe I'm actually more exhausted than I was last year, when in fact I had faced more problems back then than now. It's also probably all in my mind, that I'm always worrying about everything and that no one would care anymore. But so what if it really happens right? Life just goes on and I have to move on too...


But if the reality has to be so cruel I'd rather I've not lived at all. 

Yet sometimes it's not a choice for me I choose..

If only someone could tell me how important I am....