My New Chapter too..

I haven't been talking about Michelle Phan in a while. Her recent video made me so relaxed and inspired once again. I love how when I'm feeling kinda troubled and her video seems to appear at the right time, making me feel better after that. (^_^)





Get in touch with your own beauty and flaws. It's the combination of the two that makes us all unique. 

She's definitely the best inspirational artiste that I have come across, constantly giving her all and inspiring people from time to time. I feel that I can keep learning from her even until now, instead of the Jpop queen who used to inspire me. Well then, things change and human change too. But I always believe in changing for the better. I shall talk about this some other time then, since I still need time to get things sorted out. （・□・；）

What's even more wonderful than getting reply from your favourite artiste? I love when this happens and I will definitely capture such a moment. It's nice cos this made me feel closer to her than the queen. Oops, I mentioning it again. (>_<)

Anyway, I wasn't into the makeup look lowkey baddie where Mish replied me in. Probably cos I dislike that sort of colour on the lip and nails so the whole look seems plain to me. But I really like her braided hair! I would love to do my hair like this someday and hope it suits me. I don't have enough hair and so it's hard for me to do braids now. I'm still in the midst of trying out the scalp treatment and I wonder will it take me 2 or 3 months to finish the whole bottle. Lol. I noticed some baby hairs growing so I consider this as a slight improvement for now. I hope it works well for me but it's gonna take time to see the results. I can feel the stinging sensation from the second time I used it. I guess that's cos I began to be more liberal in pouring the amount of the liquid to my head lol. But then again, my hair falls quite a bit after I massage the liquid into my scalp. I'm feeling kinda troubled to see this, cos it seems my scalp just doesn't accept products that easily. I don't know what else to do but I think I wanna continue using it and see how it goes. Moreover it takes freaking long time for hair to grow. I need to be patient throughout this period. I need to have all this time to myself more. (>ω<)


By the way I'm happy to see Mish appearing in the newspaper on 17 November last year!

Although Mish hasn't been doing as much makeup tutorials as before, I'm actually fine with it. Moreover her other videos like Pillow talk and New chapter brings us closer too. And her DIY videos seems fun! I love how she's teaching us things in other ways. I still miss her makeup tutorial videos as always but I'm totally supporting her for whatever she does cos I can always gain something from her every time. I remembered a friend of mine who told me she isn't surprised about what Mish is doing cos by now Mish should already be running out of ideas for makeup long ago. Lol. Maybe so, but I think makeup is an endless creation. There are lots of different looks that one can come up with and it changes throughout the years along with the development of products. I don't mind re-watching some of her old videos again but I also believe Mish is still constantly working on creating more looks. I know she wouldn't stop making videos as she used to say that before and that's what she's happy with doing. And that's why all the more I'm so proud to be a dreamer. +.*☆( ˘ω˘ )☆*.+

Knowing who you are by expressing who you are on the outside so that people can see you.

You need to love yourself so you'll exist!! Although it takes time for me but I'm slowly able to find my way of expression and I can identify myself more this time. It's through Michelle Phan that my interest in makeup and skincare grow. During those times where I know nothing about the facial products, have bad skin, lack of confidence and not focusing on the right things. Now I became a better and confident person not just on the outside but also on the inside with regards to who I am.

Thank U Mish for teaching me so much~ (⌒‐⌒)


I will focus more on myself this year and continue to do what I love.  Let's always be strong. ♥

Is it over yet?

The busy week is just over!!! But not like I'm very happy about it though, I still have so much other work to do and get them settled soon. There's always the deadline that I have to make sure I get them done before that. It's always rushing, but at least I can plan my time well to rush before those dates. I have been so busy and drained for the past week that I have got no energy to see around me what's going on. But anyway, since I have already decided to focus on myself this year, I guess I shouldn't be bothering myself with any unimportant stuffs too. If it's tiring me out, I probably should leave it aside and not let it ruin myself. Besides, work has been enough to take over my life. Lol. 

I might want more time of my own for this year. This is just the beginning but I have somewhat having those struggles just like before and I feel something is lacking in my life too. I have so much thoughts lately. I wished I can get distracted through work but after a day's work I might start thinking about all sorts again. What is missing in my life now (besides my dear Shua)? What do I want actually? What is there that I can do? Who really cares?? I have so many questions that I'm still finding the answers to it. And damn, it's only Tuesday but I'm very tired now. My whole body is aching so much!!! Probably the worst I ever felt. And my stomach hurts a lot today too. Maybe cos I have been working too hard. And maybe cos I've those bothering thoughts. I just hope I can get better soon. I need a deep sleep for days so that I can revive again. I might be worse than a zombie now. >_< 

If I consider something to be over for me, that's when I know I'm not the same as before and so I will totally let it out of my life and won't look back again.

Can I really give up? 

Being really forgetful...

It's just the start of the new year and I'm experiencing real forgetfulness that I've not had as much before. ∑(O_O；) I really think I'm aging at a faster rate than I thought [I've even spotted few more strands of white hair (-_-)]. lol. Have come across Mia's video about turning 30 but hey, there's still a few more years before I hit that age but I've already experienced some of the things she mentioned here.  （ﾟдﾟ） Yeah, so let's see!




01. Bad memory 
02. Busy is an understatement
03. Pain everywhere
04. Sleeping is a luxury
05. No more an all-nighter
06. Anyone younger than you is a baby
07. Being more picky at shopping
08. Personal time is precious
09. Ain't nobody got time for that!
10. More confidence
11. Clearer priorities
12. Let it go let it goooo
13. Hard work will pay off
14. Nothing is perfect
15. Keep on learning

Lol so I agree with half of Mia's list. Somehow I hope it won't be the entire list for me when I reached my thirties! （・□・；）It's good to be aware of all those now so that I can get prepared. As for now, I shall just enjoy my personal time cos this is when I can have some peace to keep calm and think properly. Stop surrounding myself with too many people that made me tire myself out. Focus on myself and on the people who are worth my time.

I shall learn to relax better too. (´๑•_•๑)

May the disappointment go away from now on...

Yeah!! It's been a week plus and I've finally recovered from flu! (^_^;) Although my throat feels dry at times and my voice still sound little hoarse. I expected it cos I didn't take medicine diligently and I wasn't given antibiotics [since mine was just a minor cold]. Anyway, I'm all glad that I can eat chocolate again. Hehe.  (^o^)

Recently I've just been stuck home ever since the new year. Not that I wasn't interested to go out with my friends, but it seemed that everyone has plans of their own. No one's free for me anymore. Kinda sad as a start. But on one hand, I can have more time for myself and somewhat starting on spring cleaning since Chinese New year is just next month!! Given that I have a month now, I can do some cleaning and clearing of my old and unwanted stuffs slowly. I've looked through my facial and body products and only to find that most of them are about to expire soon!! Cos it's 2016 already! Oh man, I didn't expect that I have bought and left some of them there without using as often. Many of them are finishing up soon and yet I'm fretting over buying them again. lol. That's cos the same products will not necessary be available on the shelves anymore. I hate that some have to be discontinued without us consumers knowing why. I love shopping but it isn't easy to find a product that you like and suits you like what you've used before. Exploring takes time and the mood to do so.  (¬_¬) I love the water gel that I have been using but it took me within 2 months to finish the product! Holy! It's super fast and costly if I were to buy it every 2 months. Another down-side to this is that I have to dip in to the product [since it's in a tub] and it irks me that the whole product can get 'contaminated' real soon. I would prefer those in a bottle where you can pour out the appropriate amount that you want.  Dang, it's gonna be hard to get products that will satisfy me good enough. Hmph!!

Been feeling disappointed over a group of friends whom I've always considered them as important. It was when I found out yesterday that I really wasn't anything to them. (T ^ T) Again and again I was met with those upset feelings when there's my friend's big day that was held yesterday but I wasn't invited at all. I went out with her before and even talked to her recently, but yet there was no mention of it by her especially on when it's gonna take place. Worse when not a single person mentioned about it in our chat group. They usually share lots of stuffs and the chat could go good. But everyone has been so secretive lately. I can't feel that I'm part of them anymore. It sucks cos I've shared with her so much about myself but she didn't share with me her happiness at all. Moreover those that she invited are the ones whom I've known from the start when the group was formed and I consider them as my close friends too. But in the end....? It didn't turn out to be what I was expecting at all. I was feeling shocked more than happy when I came across the picture of everyone's happy faces. I want to feel happy for her but I can't anymore. I was really taken aback for this to happen to me. I knew they have cliques and have other chat groups among themselves but I didn't mind about that. But for such a joyous occasion I didn't get to be part of it. I don't have the chance at all. I guess I really don't mean a thing to them at all. It's already no point of me asking her why... it'll just imply my dejection over why I wasn't being invited and no matter how good a reason or excuse she come out with, it's not gonna make me get over the fact that there's no mention about it plus not being invited at all. So indeed, I'm an insignificant person after all that you've never thought of. Not just you, but by the rest too. (ー_ー)

It's probably the only group that made me had so much mixed feeling over the past year. Looking back at my past post and for the year where I've mentioned about it so many times, I really feel like a fool now. I was being made like a clown already. How upsetting is this. The place where I've created ended up a place where I could no longer stand. Just how many times I've felt sad over this again and again. (´；Д；｀) It's really really time for me to stay away and let go, lead my own life and be happy. I'm not gonna respond to them anymore after all the hurt I'm getting. I'm not gonna let such disappointment come to me again. It's no wonder why some have left earlier on. Being in a big group may not be a good thing after all.

I guess even if I left, probably no one would notice it at all too. (σ;*Д*)σ死刑！

never stop learning...

There's like hundred and ten thousands things in my to-do list. (ﾉ ○ Д ○)ﾉ　


I was flipping through my books the other day when I was cleaning up my stuffs, I found this English assessment book dated 11 years ago that was still so new and not even a single ink was written on any page at all. (._.)

Schools are annoying for such reason where they made us buy the books and not using them in the lessons at all. There I felt it was kinda wasted so I kept it in the shelves year after year and didn't even look at them closely. lol.

Now I felt the need to be back at learning and improving my English once more. (；´Д｀)

That's sad that once we left school, we'll stop learning stuffs cos we're so immersed with work. Either that our standard remains or falls. Reading constantly will probably help, but it goes along with writing. I'm glad I make myself blog and write constantly because it's something I love to do. If not, I think my English can get worse. lol.

Of course I understand most of the words here already, but there are some words that I haven't come across like scaremongering. It's totally new to me! How I miss those days where I used to be a walking dictionary! Well, my English is not very good in school it's usually Bs but sometimes I can get As. My friend keeps asking me about English words and stuff during class and in my tertiary education, I'm the one who has the best grade among my friends so I ended up as the checker for all our reports. And I remember there was once a group work where I got a better grade than my other group of friends with just 3 persons while there's just 2 persons in my group including me. All of them thinks it's due to my English. lol. I do felt honoured but at the same time honestly I don't think it's awesome. There's so many words that I still don't know of! My sentence structure now is probably crap since I don't have to write properly for a blog. I can write in a way that I want without feeling stressful. But I'll also probably have grammar mistakes at times without realising. Yet there won't be anyone to correct me. haha.

Well well. At least, it's always good to learn new words. And it'll help with my lyric writing too. I used to be poor at describing things cos I lack the vocabulary and thoughts to describe a scene. Which is why I have been choosing to write argumentative essays than narrative ones in school. It was quite a boring thing come to look at it. Now that I wanna write stories it seemed to be a difficult thing to me. It just doesn't come out of me naturally! I wonder is it cos my mind has already be fixed at it. But at least I can describe better with lyrics. I hope to say this is one improvement I have that I grow through the years. Not that bad right? Ooh yeah, and I guess a huge part has got to do with me not liking to read back then. Honestly, I don't read story books that much. I hate cos I can't finish a book rightaway and have to read chapter by chapter in which I'll definitely forget the scene that was happening. How am I to recall again? lol. And I chose to read self help books which are more direct and useful to my life so I have tons of them in my shelves. So there is no way I can get myself better at writing in a sense. (｡•́︿•̀｡)

Hmm... so now, all I'm left to do is probably learn bit by bit and continue what I do best. Story writing that I would like to?? I might have to try harder than I think. Not a priority but worth a shot. Let's see how it goes!


Maybe what I should do is to start reading again...

I'm a tweety bird (>_<)

Arrrghhh!! I've been feeling so uncomfortable and troubled over my hair for the past week!!

That's because there's 3 strands of white hair sticking out of my head right at the front. Whenever I looked at the mirror it bothers me so much!! Damn, many people who saw me must have noticed it too cos it's too obvious!! I'm not exaggerating cos my friends have spotted it too. What am I to do with it!! I can't be plucking them cos it'll hurt my scalp. I don't think cutting them away is of any use since they'll grow back again. Argh so I look like a granny at this age. I'm not even in my 30s yet!! I feel like a tweety bird now with that 3 sticking out all day. Except that tweety bird is cuter than me and it has black hair instead. (｡-_-｡)

U bet!! This bird has already win me in everything. Even just by standing like that. ヽ(≧Д≦)ノ


I've started on my hair tonic treatment on Saturday and was kinda anxious. But the thing is, my hair drops as much as I used the scalp lotion back then. Hmm I wonder is it cos of my weak scalp in itself that upon touching products, the hair would fall. =( Kinda upset to see this. I hope when I do this next week it'll not recur again. The smell from it is really strong!! I couldn't really stand it since I have a sensitive nose, but I might get used to it and then it'll not be a problem. I think I will have to wash it after the 20min leave in cos I don't wish the smell to fill in the entire room the whole day or even when I'm out to let anyone smell it. lol. Oh and there isn't any stinging feeling at all as what I was told. Is my scalp just weird and different? I hope this product works for me after all cos I don't know what other solution is there for me to treat my hair problem. Probably it has got to do with everything and more other factors. That was when I decided to watch Mia's video again:




Some points to note:
✿ Eggs, sweet potatoes, avocado, blueberries, spinach, walnuts are some of the food source that is good for the hair.
✿ Brush from tips to roots, and flip hair upside down and massage them.
✿ Avoid poor diet, stress and alcohol, staying in the sun for a long time, any type of chemicals to the hair.
✿ Brush hair 50 times before going to bed
✿ Don't wash your hair everyday. → something I can't do so cos if I don't wash my hair, I'll most probably have dandruff the next day. And this will also make my hair so oily like some salty dead vegetables I can't even feel peace leaving it like that!! Well I've experience this before once last year cos I didn't have a choice. My sleep was affected by that incident and I had only like 3 hours of sleep and then I have to head to work with a blur mind. I think I wasn't being that efficient that day if I can recall. How did I even manage to do my work lol. But I was also kinda concerned cos it must be the ugliest time I ever looked at work with heavy eyebags and dark circles and with oily salty dead hair. argh argh. I'm so fuming mad I won't let this happen again this year! No way!! （ﾟдﾟ）


Alrights, there I will try my very best to follow the tips given.. except that I still have to live with the 3 strands of white hair.

What a good way to remind myself that I'm getting older each day. (ー_ー)!

I need to defy all that with my own way!! （＞０＜）

My first Kagrra, karaoke♪

So on the last day of 2015, I get to have a fun time singing Kagrra, songs at a friend's friend's place! ♪～(´ε｀　)

I feel so thankful to be invited and was a little hesitant to go as the day gets nearer cos I'm worried that I'll not be recovered well enough then to sing. (^_^;)  But then I still go ahead with it anyway since it was a special day after all and how can I miss out the fun! Although I was still sick but I wasn't sneezing so it wasn't that serious. I supposed I won't be able to spread to anyone although I still have phlegm that is stuck at my respiratory system. lol  It didn't affect me that much, just that cos I had too much pizza my throat got kinda dry along with all that singing. So I thought it's better that I'll not have the bread pudding they were making. Kinda pity I didn't have their dessert. (,_,)  There's a bit too much starch for dinner I got really full. (≧▽≦) But nevertheless Mr. Host is a nice guy who got us so much food. ٩(๑´3｀๑)۶ Excepts that he coughs so much more than me although he sang lesser songs than I do. xD


The song that I have to sing on this special day.... What else but Urei!! (*^◯^*) It's Kagrra,'s major debut song for 1st Jan! [although I didn't countdown to 1st Jan with this song]

I was singing only Kagrra, songs during the whole time and I didn't even get to sing all yet from the list in the system! lol. Hmm I can't even say which song I'm best at from that day's singing. Of course I chose my top favourite Omou but it feels a little different than I expected. Somehow as u know, the karaoke system music sounded differently from the original songs and the whole feeling just becomes different. And the background screen isn't their pvs at all. Not even a single one. I can't feel the Kagrra, atmosphere as much as I want to. (-_-) But luckily, there are Furigana for the lyrics if not I probably can't sing so smoothly for all the songs since isshi's kanji is all too hard to read. (-｡-;) Oh gosh, just how long more will it take me to master Japanese well enough to sing with ease? （＞０＜）


In fact, at the start, we sang Sakura~saikai no hana~ which is my friend's favourite. hehe.

For one thing, I was wondering how do they [the program] decide on the songs in the system. Kagrra, has so many great songs and yet those that I can sing didn't appear in it! Some of the songs are so cold like they're in the freezer [cos I don't listen to them as much] and yet they appear in the list. It's a bit dangerous to choose those that aren't my favourites cos I'll not be that familiar with it then it'll be a wasted song chosen and there goes the time. lol.


Let me recall as much as I can for the songs that are available:
鬼遊の唄
魔笛
鵺の哭く頃
し、み、め、ゆ、き、さ、あ
神謌
徒然なるままに
桜～再会の花～
沙羅双樹の子護唄
夢イズル地
桜舞い散るあの丘で
恋綴魂
春麗ら
月下想葬
奇祭
桜花爛漫
愁
戀
華
闇に散りけり。。。
源平闘戰譚
憶
鬼を憐れむ謳
廻
在りし日の微傷
うたかた
「叫び」
あの坂を登れば
維新
風
霞んだ冬の向こうに...
彩の讃歌
渦
桜月夜
白ゐ嘘

I think I sang around 16 songs from the list during the night? xD
Kagrra, songs are indeed hard to sing really!! Isshi is too amazingly good. I tried singing my favourite song 維新 ishin and the key goes really low and then really high. OMG. It stressed out my voice so much!!! For most of the Kagrra, songs we felt the same difficulty. I enjoyed singing them a lot since it was the first time I can sing my true favourite music but it was also a challenge. Lol. I don't know how isshi's vocal range can be so wide and done with such beauty. I felt the difficulty and so I'm very impressed with this man so much now. Okay, I do have to include the fact that my voice isn't very well that day so maybe I could have done better too. I'll probably be able to sing 「叫び」Sakebi with more force and felt much better with shouting out loud if I can. lol.

I remember I gave up singing on 沙羅双樹の子護唄 Sarasouju no komoriuta cos it ended up not easy for me to sing at all. Oops. I guess I depended on singing along with the original singer's voice too much. Damn that system needs to be improved!! We had a struggle to input the songs that we wanna sing at first, and probably spent like half and hour to figure it out? And they should include original singer's voice at the background as a choice and make the search easier. Argh. But I can't complain. Since I was given the chance to sing for free. And it was Mr. Host's after all. (≧ω≦) Wonder if he would sing as much during his free time since he has paid for it. xD


Yeah what's more, I tweeted to isshi's Coach to wish him a Happy New Year with hopes of him replying to me that he still remembers me lol.

Oh yes and he did!!
Damn that Echofon app on my phone his reply didn't appear!! I was wondering about it since the whole of yesterday. I don't think he can be that cruel to ignore my tweet? I was about to retweet him again until I decided to check it out using my com. And there then I can find his reply to me. Great!! He still remembers!! I'm so thrilled! ヽ(・∀・)ノ At least we ordinary fans aren't being ignored at all. Sorry I almost misunderstood u. I'm glad Coach didn't let me down after all. haha!


It was a rainy new year! Yesterday and today. It will be this good since I start off with good sleep and able to let my mind off. I'm looking forward to better days ahead! I'm sure it'll be much better than before. ＼(^^)／

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2016!

Happy new year!!
This is also the first time I'm doing a collage for Kagrra,-sama on new year's day!  (*^◯^*)

Every 1st January is also a special day to Kagrra, cos it's their major debut day!! Every start of a new year reminds me there is a year more that I can love Kagrra,..  and every year, I will start off with good hopes.


This year I will make many wishes as usual, and will slowly realise them. My Kagrra, will always live in me with such beauty.

Let's have a good year ahead! あけましておめでとう！  ♪───Ｏ（≧∇≦）Ｏ────♪