My Ayu list

I think this is more like a nothing-better-to-do post. lol. ヾ(≧∇≦*)ゝ

I have been clearing my stuffs lately. I realised there's a bunch of papers that I've never seem to touch at all. And slowly, I began to forget about their presence!! (X_X) Lucky I've now look back at them again. haha.

Ok, it's just something I wrote for fun about Ayu's songs. This really shows that I'm so into Ayu back then!! I wrote so much! Like quotes from her songs, what genre, the pv, probably a storyline behind it [some sort of interpretation I've seen at AHS]. I even wrote some sort of story about Ayu but it was badly written to me now, so I threw it away. I guess I just can't write good stories. Oh well, stick to doing something else then. T_T

So let me show what I've written in the past [should be back in 2008-2009]:

RAINBOW re-shuffle [The order I prefer]
01. Free & Easy - it has the power to be the start of the album!
02. neverending dream - I dun like the ending of this interlude
03. Voyage
04. HANABI
05. everywhere nowhere
06. taskinillusion
07. Heartplace - a CREA composition that touched my heart ♥
08. Close to you - a christmasy song
09. independent
10. Real me
11. WE WISH
12. July 1st
13. everlasting dream
14. Dolls
15. Over - a sad breakup song suitable as the ending

Top 10 Favourite Ayu interludes
01. The Judegement Day
02. reBIRTH
03. mirror
04. taskinst
05. Catcher in the Light
06. everlasting dream
07. Not yet
08. LABYRINTH
09. taskinillusion
10. Marionette-prelude-

My Best Ayu classics
01. TO BE
02. Trust
03. appears
04. M
05. Dearest
06. Endless sorrow
07. Voyage
08. Moments 
09. No way to say
10. ANGEL'S SONG
11. Free & Easy
12. HEAVEN

My Best Ayu Dark/sad songs
01. P.S II
02. End roll
03. End of the World
04. ever free
05. Over 
06. HOPE or PAIN
07. rainy day
08. criminal 
09. HANABI
10. GUILTY
11. Memorial Address
12. Because of You
13. Forgiveness

My Best Ayu Happy songs 
01. July 1st
02. BLUE BIRD 
03. Greatful days
04. evolution
05. glitter 
06. UNITE!

My Best Ayu Acoustic Orchestra version songs
01. I am...
02. Moments
03. HANABI
04. Daybreak
05. still alone
06. TO BE
07. no more words
08. Who...
09. Far away

I just realised something. WHERE IS SURREAL!!???? WHY DIDN'T I INCLUDE IN ANY OF MY LIST AT ALL!! I MUST BE DREAMING BACK THEN!! ゞ (￣^￣)ゞ

My list of Ayu's happy summer songs seemed really too little. I guess I really dun like them that much ever since as an Ayu fan. haha. Well, what brings me to love Ayu so much started off with her sad songs anyway.

ar.. back then I remember I do have lots of time during the holidays to do all these writing and watching her concert DVDs especially. It was my stress buster!! Argh but now that my DVD player is spoilt and somehow I found myself spending lesser and lesser time being into Ayu. I dun mean to!! Her newer works dun seem to impress me as much as she does in the past. I still love Ayu, I like some of her songs in every album but I love her older works much more. I'm sure it's not only me right?? Grrr I just wonder why somehow I can't stop thinking about me not so into Ayu's music as much as before. Why isn't there as much things for me to do like last time? Why Ayu seemed different nowadays? But I'm a fan of hers for almost 10 years so no matter what, I cannot stop my Ayu collection!! No matter how much I complain......

Maybe I can try to make myself start writing lists of Ayu new songs from RnRC onwards that I like. Maybe I should listen to Ayu's songs more just like what I used to do. Maybe I'll have a change of mind. hmmm..

It's been a year since Isshi's death.

Never think of what to do when this day comes on 18th July. It's already Isshi's one year death anniversary. How I hope I won't need to think about it. It's like counting how many days he has left us. I just feel kinda sad. I dun want to have this feeling whenever I think of isshi......

Recently I look at some Kagrra, 'updates' at facebook group page and I do see some photos that I've never seen before!! Like this one:

I just came to know that he has 3 dogs and 3 cats. haha. How interesting!! I'm glad he loves animals. And his dogs are so cute here!! ^_^

I'm glad I've joined that group cos there are still some fans posting on videos and photos, which became my constant reminder of isshi. Yes, I'm actually kinda guilty again. If not for that group, I'd probably wouldn't have remembered of Isshi's 1st death anniversary. I dun want to forget about Kagrra, or Isshi seriously!! Just that somehow when there's already no new material to expect from them ever since the disband of Kagrra, I dun know what else can make me look forward to, to remember of them all the time!! Worse still, when the news of Isshi leaving us, can't even have any more updates of him, whether he will continue to sing or not. I'm really so afraid that I'll forget about them.. and I dun want to!! (T_T) I dun want him out of my life. I shall make myself remember that he will always be in my heart!! ♥

Actually I love to be in forums more than in groups like in facebook cos it's more organised too. I used to join this Kagrra, forum back then and I'm really happy to be part of it although there isn't much members. But no one post there anymore!! I have posted last year but it turned out to be even quiet ever since. I wonder if they have forgotten about it?? Well, I still haven't forget about that forum's existence. I want to post more and let the Kagrra, spirit keep going but there isn't anyone else who seems to be interested in keeping that forum alive. =(

Ok, at least there's still facebook group. And there's still updates at the Kagrra, LJ community. yeah, I shall not be so negative. haha. I'm sure there are still people much dedicated to Kagrra, too. I wanted to see their lyrics translation more cos Isshi's Japanese is written in such a different way. I love his poetry ways. haha.

I didn't really do anything for isshi but I guess the best way is still listening to Kagrra, songs. I'm kinda irritated once again that the videos I've saved in my playlist are deleted. Makes me wonder if there's any point in creating a playlist when the uploader may delete the videos anytime without warning. Whatever the case is, I guess I should create a list of all Kagrra, pvs throughout their 10 years. Just remember those main hit songs of them would be good enough.   ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ

Isshi-san, U will always be remembered in our hearts. 

I hope u can see this. We fans will never forget your music, your smile, your love..all about you. 


I hope u've found ur peace and be happier in another world.

~yuuka

Ayu back together with Nagase?

I think that's really rumours. lol. Many people actually thought that A SUMMER Best naming Disc N stands for 'Nagase', and which this means that they are back together. I dun think that's quite possible. Although Ayu hasn't explain the meaning for naming her discs as 'N' and 'A', but they could stand for other things isn't it? I dun think anything has got to be related to her ex-lovers. Are the media thinking too much?

Alrights, probably cos of the photo of a mystery man Ayu posted on twitter. But I'm pretty sure many of them are just thinking and guessing too much. Whoever the actor is!! Is he really Nagase-like? lol. Dun Ayu have many friends in the first place? =)

Today's newspaper:

Can't believe the article also stated that Ayu announced to her mom that they got back together. And Ayu's mom approved and told her friends. I didn't even heard of such things as an Ayu fan!! hahaha. It really sounded atrocious!!

Maybe Ayu really needs to start telling us why naming disc 'N'. lol. and also disc 'A'. Does it stands for an English word instead of Japanese? hmmm...

A SUMMER BEST covers + the A BEST 3 I wanted

Know of this last week..

Not that happy though. Only 2CD+DVD looks better, just like the one in the poster. I guess is the background that makes the 2CD looks so dull to me. They should really add more flowers everywhere!! Where is ur Days/GREEN and Mirrorcle World concept gone? That was one of the best covers imo. But this one is quite not so Ayu, dun u think? Ayu is now made to look so tanned. Not used to see her like this n neither would I want her to be like a gyaru. It feels so odd. lol. And those long nails!! And the smile!! It doesn't look like Ayu at all!!

Ok, I know I'm picking on this since Party Queen. lol. Never mind. Let's see how You&Me turns out to be. I'm looking forward to that pv!! Wondering who the composers will be too.

Alrights. That said about A SUMMER BEST and that I won't be buying it. Just wanna write down what I want for A BEST 3 for next year perhaps. Besides including the best/popular songs from 2007 onwards, I hope there's at least a new song too. Ok, never mind if they're lazy to put in new songs if some singles are to be released later, but can they re-make some of the pvs?? As a special edition DVD, do a re-make of the famous classic pvs like appears, TO BE, M etc. Or best if u do pvs for under-rated songs!!! There are tons that I wanted ok!! Maybe I should list them down too!

[not including 1st album]
And Then
monochrome
End roll
Duty
End of the World
SCAR
I am...
Naturally
Heartplace
Over
everywhere nowhere
Dolls
Memorial Address
winding road
Will
Secret
rollin'


Gosh all these deserves pv!! Mostly are the older songs. Totally love them!! Please let it happen! lol. 

Namie in Singapore!

I'm glad that a Jpop queen is here in sg!! She's here for the promotion for her 20th anniversary but she only did a press conference. Ar~ if only she at least sings or did an autograph session at the same time. (≧ロ≦)

Newspaper article on Monday:

I think the photos they select can be better. (-_-) But still her smile is just too cheerful!! haha. Oh, even the i-weekly mag has Namie on cover! Pretty queen. ^_^

I saw another article in 新明 newspaper. Oops I've forgotten to take a picture of it. Anyway the pictures they show are mostly from the press conference video at Razor tv so there's nothing new. I'm glad that there's still quite a big Namie fan base here!! Cheers that there's still so many people supporting Jpop!!
Althought I'm not a huge fan of hers but I do like Namie's style!! If she's gonna have a concert here I'd probably go!!  Yeah, since Namie's here for interview, when will it be Ayu's turn?? I can't wait already!! lol. Why can't more Japanese artistes be here for concerts? Even more and more Kpop singers are here. I'm sure they know that they have a fan base here too? Why didn't promote more in sg too? Please include sg as part of ur world tour can you?? 

I'm missing a lot of Japanese stuff. Why stop airing Kouhaku Uta Gassen 紅白歌合戦  in sg?? Why no other Japanese dramas or animes here too? Why put that Strawberry Night drama only, and so late at night!!   Why leave us Japan lovers away?? Why why?!!!

I can only hope for the Japanese 'storm' to be back. Argh.

Can't stop worrying and getting nervous

Maybe I'm not fully prepared. I dun know if I'm doing the right thing. I hesitated. I look through as many as I could. But the more I see the more blur I am!! I can't help but to feel so scared. I dun know how my future will be like. I dun know what should I be looking forward to. I dun know if it was the right thing for me.. =(

I can't sleep that well for the past week. There are other things that scared me too. There was once where I suddenly have palpitations, for no whatsoever reason? It came so suddenly. I dun even know how to calm myself down. Last time it occurred when I was asleep. I dun think I will ever know the reason why. (T_T) Probably I was just too paranoid, too nervous. Maybe I will get a heart attack one day if I go on like this.. 


ok, So I better calm down now!! 


Yes, maybe I should say about something I would like to do. But it's more like just a small dream of mine. Recently I was so into taking care of my hair. Although I have horrible messy hair sometimes, I do envy others with beautiful hair. It looked so lovely!! Something like Namie's long beautiful hair is what I always wanted!! So feminine and pretty. I happened to stop by at a shop and looked at the opposite where it's a hair salon. I can't stop looking at it. How the hairstylist was handling the customers' hair. I felt that I wanna be a hairstylist myself. lol. I can't believe I actually have thoughts about it!! I think I have so many 'dreams' and things I wanna do and yet in the end I think I might not be able to achieve them in the short term, or even at all.  (,_,)

Seriously, I dun know what's stopping me. Maybe I just think too much. Perhaps I need lots of courage now. I shouldn't be afraid of failure right. But sometimes I find it so hard to control my feelings.

Probably I should start thinking positively. The future will be good. I should believe in myself. Worrying doesn't help. Maybe something good ahead awaits me. Maybe things will turn out to be better than I thought.

Alright. Stop worrying. Just do it!!

Nice day~

Yesterday was a good day to be out. （＾ｖ＾）Was actually kinda tired when back after walking for almost the whole day. Thought of sleeping early but I guess this bad habit of me sleeping late at night is kinda hard to change. lol. Ended up watching the Secret Circle 2 episodes back-to-back when I thought I should be sleeping early. Gosh, the show's a big temptation!! lol. The story is getting so exciting! Long haven't been watching witch-craft shows, ever since Charmed which was almost 10 years ago? haha. I think witch craft shows are more interesting than vampires shows. Dun get why there's so many vampire shows on tv for the past years. They are quite boring to me. (¬_¬) Maybe that's why Harry Potter is so popular too. Magical, supernatural shows are indeed more exciting and making us look forward to. =D

Argh. I'm still feeling tired these days. I wonder why do I still feel tired despite not having much things to do but just mostly preparing. I dun really know what to do actually. I'm getting so bored. Hopefully I got what I want. And maybe not worry too much? I'm starting to get so blur and not sure of the choices I've made. But hopefully things come my way as long as I've made the first step. I should be positive looking!! There should be something great ahead that awaits me. I should be happy for everything. Luck will come naturally right? (*^ω^*)

No interest in food.

I find food really boring. It's always the same thing all the time. Or probably is cos of where I lived in? But sg is really not a food paradise. U can find the same food sold everywhere. Nothing interesting. If there's something popular among the people, others will start producing it too. Everyone is copying each other. (¬_¬) Now the 'in' thing is beancurd. I'm pretty sure the next moment, no one likes it anymore, just like what happened to bubble tea. (≧ロ≦) 


Even in restaurants, the food doesn't seem to be tasty at all. Just so-so. It's not just cos it's more expensive than hawker centres and coffee shop it will taste better. There's never a time where I will be so overwhelmed with any particular stall/restaurant. The cooks here just dun put their heart to it. Not like Japan or Taiwan or Hong Kong. I see more people praising about their food more than here. And some of their food is tasty yet cheap. How nice if here is also like that. Argh. I might as well travel there in the future and dun come back. hahaha. 


This place is making me getting less interest in food. Probably one of the reasons I dun eat well. lol. The 'delicacy' here is mostly fried, heaty food. I really wonder why everyone likes such unhealthy and uncomfortable food. What's so nice about them. The sight of those food already made me sick. (X_X) Maybe that's why I get skinnier each day. 


I really have nothing nice to say about the food here.

I'm a July 1st initiate on this day~!

It's kind of a coincidence. Most of the time I dun usually notice my status in forum but I am a July 1st initiate today!! Somehow this caught my eye since yesterday. lol. Just wanna announce this as sort of a good news since it's not like it'll happen at such a right time. I'm so pleased!! haha.

It's a normal Sunday. Listening to July 1st has became a practice. What else is there that I can do? lol. Actually I'm not a fan of summer songs. But somehow listening to it just now made me kinda happy. Maybe cos I haven't listened to this for a long time! Ayu has always been performing July 1st in a-nation. It's kinda like a staple song too right? Probably it's good that I didn't usually watch her a-nation so I didn't feel so bored listening to this today. hahaha.

Anyway, time for a bit of Ayu news. A SUMMER BEST is gonna be released on August 8. It's gonna be a scary day for me [not related to Ayu though]!! I'm not really happy with the news in fact, cos I wasn't anticipating for this compilation this year but rather a compilation next year for her 15th. If she were to really release a compilation for the 15th next year, dun u think with this Summer Best, there is just too many compilation at one go? I think this Summer Best is really quite unnecessary. We fans have almost all her songs in previous compilation/studio albums except for theme of a-nation '03, Happening Here and the new song You & Me. Do U think that will really entice fans to buy?? But not for me. I dun think is any special. I have both that songs and although I wanted Happening Here to be in a compilation, but it isn't of importance to me that it must be there! Cos it's not originally an Ayu song. Yes, I just feel that avex is out to release loads of Ayu albums as much as they can. I'm really disappointed. I want an Ayu single at this time and probably 2 more singles before Ayu release a studio album for next year.  That would be a nice plan. Argh, but it didn't go as what I thought. Argh. U know, this gonna be the compilation album that I'll skip buying it. Expensive and I dun like summer songs that much. Gosh.. I have been collecting all Ayu compilation albums all along and this is the first time that I'm gonna skip getting this. They are making me feel that I can't be a complete Ayu fan. lol.

Or probably sticking to buying all studio albums will be the best afterall? Anyway, usually compilations are targeted at non-Ayu fans right? Ar...I feel that Namie's Uncontrolled is really way better than this Summer Best now.

The covers are not released yet. Just the promotional picture:

Ayu really looks like a dead fish like what many have said. I think it's sort of pretty and sexy, just that the background is not really nice. I hope her covers will be good! As long as not something like Sunrise~LOVE is ALL. Of cos a Summer feel, bright and happy will suit the theme of the compilation. But I dun know what can I expect from this now. =/

Oh well, July 1st is in A BEST 2-White- and this compilation. I feel as though I see this song appearing a lot. lol. I remember there is some sort of poll that TA members will vote for their favourite summer songs? Yeah I guess is probably for this Summer Best. I thought of BLUE BIRD and progress [a recent song]. But progress wasn't in it, instead is ANother song feat. URATA NAOYA. OMG. It's not a nice song at all and how is it a Summer song?? I kinda like Disc A's songs but seeing that song included is another minus to me. hahaha. I dun know if there is anything nice I can say about this Summer Best. It all just isn't right to me. 


Ok, I now sound like a horrid fan complaining about this. So maybe I shall just keep listening to July 1st today until I get sick of it. xD That's kinda a nice way to go through this summer. I'll probably stop thinking about A SUMMER BEST since I'm pretty sure about 90% I will not get this album. It kinda hurts me to give this compilation up ok.. It feels like I'm missing something out. Or maybe I shall get other things in replace of it? hahaha. [The thought of Namie's Uncontrolled comes]