I threw away my old diaries. lol.
After I read Cheesie's blog post about her diaries, I suddenly got the urge to look back at my old diaries too. And then, the more I read, the more I feel like destoying them!! Well, that's cos I always write unhappy stuffs in it. And that's becos I use the diary as a way for me to vent my frustration and unhappiness in it. =(
I think it's really a bad way, come to think of it now. Diary is supposed to serve as memories of ur glorious past right? Yet I think that I have nothing nice to write, and so I wrote unhappy, bad stuffs that happened to me.
I think it's quite horrible for anyone to read it. I dun want anyone to know anyway. haha. And so I began tearing up all the pages and threw them away. Now I began to love tearing paper! In fact I wanna burn them away but I think it's kinda dangerous to use the fire and I dun want anyone to know. So... (￣^￣)
I wondered why other people can write such nice happy things in their diary. How come I can't do that? I dun know why I just can't, cos when I'm happy, I just wanna enjoy the moment and dun feel like writing at all. And now it ended up that I can't recall much happy events that has happened in the past. lol. My memory is certainly getting bad too.
What are memories serve as for? I dun know if they are important. I have quite a few new nice diary books but now I dun feel like writing in them now. I scared I ended up writing unhappy stuffs again. I dun think I can control myself when when it comes to my emotions...
I guess the least I can do now blog. Although I blog so much about Ayu and my mind is filled up with her most of the time. haha. Trying to avoid my letting my unhappiness taking over me too. I hope this works. Maybe I'll let the new nice diary books rot there in my cupboard, or maybe I shall write some stories or lyrics or quotes. It's really been quite a while since I done all these!!
Anyway, my sudden addiction: Ayu's TO BE~!
I really love the song and the pv. I remember the first time I heard it when I bought my A BEST I was like 'WOW~!! It's really nostalgic' I really heard this song somewhere before!! And I love the lyrics~! And the pv was so colourful~!! Although the short hair wig was kinda strange on Ayu. lol.
I even set up a poll on AHS for this Kaleidoscope pv favourite comparing with Melody. [oh yeah I began to love Melody so much now too~!] I dun get why some hated the song. What's so bad about TO BE?? I love it like max~!!! I think it's really a great song~!! Maybe cos it gives me tat nostalgic feeling the most among all Ayu songs. hahaha.
Ok, I had enough of those memories. Back to study~!
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