Jinsei 人生 [13 episodes] → A comedy anime that I enjoyed watching for the past 2 weeks! It has a bit of ecchi already on the first episode in which I don't really like that but I thought I should give it a chance. So from episode 2 onwards is what made me laugh so much that I can't stop. It's basically a small club that offers advices to students who submitted questions about their troubles. The 3 girls are the ones who will write the solution they thought of on a board and Yuuki will be the one who collate and edit to write back to the students' questions. I like how funny when they speed up the part on reading out the students' questions. I can't even catch a thing. Even the English subs sweep past like bullet train. lol. But nevertheless, every time after I watched an episode I feel it gives me energy again. hahaha.
For the most part I like Fumi's suggestions and she can tell long stories of histories and somewhat she can link to the current situation? lol. This is one quote that I like the most from her: Time spent with loved ones is what enlivens our existences!
I do hope to meet someone that made me feel worth about my existence.(>ω<)
She's just too cute here!!
And also mentioning how cats also need some time alone for self-reflection. xD
Okay, in fact there are parts where I don't get why they ended up choosing Ikumi [my least favourite character] the one to enter the competition to expose the school president's dirty deeds. But for sure she's a reckless person and so the plan got kinda screwed up. Never mind since this is a comedy anyway right? The ending is one that I'm impressed with since Yuuki actually tried to get everyone to vote for Kimie [who is from the countryside]. She looks really nerdy and with her accent and dialect that probably no one understands, but she's in fact a beauty too!!
And so I think she's definitely the right one to be crowned for the contest. haha.
I love how at episode 10 when they tried to talk to Kimie to not be negative. Kimie said a whole lot of dialect that no one understands and in lightning speed! They pretended they understood but they don't actually. And that's the fun part where she wanted to know whether a guy would understand how she feels so she directed her question at Yuuki. He was struggling to come up with the best answer despite not understood a thing. That was the scary part. I think his answer "Of course" is the right one too. Damn luckily I guess correctly too. hahaha!! I mean what are the possible questions she might asked? It could be "Do you think guys are okay with talking to me in such an accent?" "Is it alright for me to approach anyone like that?" That's quite what I can think of. Since she has the worries so "Of course" would be the best answer. Who would be asking in a negative sentence that you have to answer negatively too - with "Of course not". The chances are very slim I guess. Anyway, still no one knows what her question is about. LOL.
Well all of them knows that Yuuki likes Rino as much as how she likes him. This ending scene is pretty nice to see. If only that they get together in the end. That would be perfect!! But really, can't expect too much from a comedy since romance is not quite the focus. hahaa.
Ah...I've been itching to eat quite a bit more recently. lol.
Well I'm compensating for the fact that I couldn't get to buy any suitable clothing nor cosmetics. I'm freaking bored! (≧▽≦) So the only thing left to do is to eat. xD
Here's one thing I've tried finally!! The salted egg croissant! Something of salted egg has been around for quite some time like buns, tarts etc... I was probably thinking a little too much worrying that the salty taste will be overwhelming and I'll get high cholesterol from eating it. But this small croissant is just the right one! Small enough and it tasted sweet instead!! Look at the yellow sauce on the left surface!! They probably didn't roll this croissant well but I care more for the taste. haha. The only thing that I can identify it to be salted egg is just the gritty texture. I wouldn't have expect it to be sweet. Then again, it's not like I like it so much that I'll buy it next time. I'm still afraid of high cholesterol. lol.
So after I've managed to complete all August closing for work, I went to shop for Japanese snacks! Man I used to remember there was a time probably few months back I didn't see the danish around for some time I was so upset and thought they've stopped selling! But yeah they do! And with a few varieties this time. I felt so much better after getting those for that I can give myself a little treat for the hard work month after month. It became something that I look forward to so that I can loosen up a bit. Yeah, since besides this, what else can I do? (^_^;)
That wasabi cracker is my current addiction!! I've yet to try the other two on the left and right. There's one that you can match it with beer!!! How cool is this that they indicate on the packaging. If it's meant for you to match with beer it'll probably really taste 10X better than with other ordinary snack right I supposed. xD I'm gonna try it soon since I've also bought 3 cans of beer on the weekend. hehehe. When my happy loner time comes~~♪
I ate the mikan jelly I got from Japan Home which was half the price compared to most Japanese supermarts! (O_O；) It tasted just as good! Except that the difference would be in the jelly itself I guess. This one breaks quite easily. But nevertheless I've always love the whole mikan pieces and it's juicy!! Ooh and the snack I got from Daiso is called scallop lips? I didn't know that exterior has such a name. lol. It's probably not so worth to get? But since I have a dying love for scallops I have to get it of course. Let's see if the taste would make the mark. hahaa.
So... last night I've decided to clear my twitter list that I'm following especially those of which I don't know who they are and have never talk to, unless they are celebrities or posting something worthy for me to read. lol. This made me feel much better too since I don't want anything I don't like to appear on my timeline anymore. haha. On one hand I was wondering if some of them will ever be back? Since they've stopped posting for a long time. Even my favourite youtuber eki mura hasn't been around for 2 years! And she stopped posting makeup tutorial videos for 4 years! I wonder what has she been doing lately. It's a little sad that someone you like and supported just went off suddenly for so long.... ~( ´•︵•` )~
Anyway, I've even changed my twitter profile pic to my current favourite anime. That's the character I like most where she's the only one who would put on traditional costume. （＾∇＾） Surprisingly, it was in green. I don't have a choice since this was the best one that I can capture. And my new toothbrush that I've just changed is also in green! That's the only one left out of the packet and I don't have a choice either. Well, green is not my favourite but not that I hate it though. I love vegetables and they are in green. lol. I have do have green clothes although I try to avoid buying them. Somehow I don't know if this seems to be a hint or coincidence or something? Well I got to know that my favourite person likes green. But not that he will wear anything green! lol. Anyway I've been trying to talk to him like every week. I wonder do I seem an irritating chatterbox to him. ~( ´•︵•` )~ There are times where he doesn't answer my questions and I'm kinda afraid of asking anything further than that. Those that he'll respond mostly are about music and singers which is of his interest. We can't seem to talk more about personal stuffs. Somehow I feel he doesn't wanna hang out with me anymore. Well not like guys will be interested in me. (,_,) I don't know if he gets anything? It's not like I know what to do anymore besides trying to drop hints. Damn, I think the only guy who can ever understands me and get along with me is my dear buddy Shua. Probably no one else wants to enter my world. Anyway, it's been getting hard lately and I don't wanna see myself facing the same sort of thing again. Rejection is such a pain when there's nothing to stop us, but just the person's decision. For whatever sort of reason that I don't buy. Yeah whatever it is, I probably can't even have a real guy friend whom I can be close with and reach him at any time. Someone whom I can confide to and share little bits of things in life. I'm probably not letting any guy in my world that easily anymore too.
Nevertheless, luckily I still have my pizza panda so I didn't feel that sad.
But why are relationships so hard! 。・°°・(＞_＜)・°°・。
I'm not in a good mood today. Maybe it's not for this week. I've wanted to do some shopping and yet there's nothing good to buy. And it was probably ruined since Monday when my friend told me of her problem. And then there's also this new changes that was being proposed at work and being implemented and I have to be get used to it 'once again'. What great things that come together at once. (-_-) All in all, I'm just gonna rant out what's annoying me so that I'll feel better afterwards.
So, as of now, people whom I dislike are those:
1. that comes up with ten thousands reasons to justify their actions. That they are NEVER wrong. Even if they admit, in some way or another they still have every reasons why it's actually not their fault.
2. know what their problem is but they just won't change. Which is from the above ↑, so they'll think "Why do I even have to change?" They can come up with all sorts of reasons that you should always accommodate to them, not that they have to give in to others in any way. This I would say, they're being too smart for their own good.
3. whom put themselves first. That's definitely the main and the worst problem of all among people. I really hate those who never considers a thing for others and do whatever she wants. It's as though she has seen herself as queen and you should be listening to her. ⋋_⋌
And so, a person with the combination of all these 3 traits is gonna make me dislike her really bad. It sucks when I have to work with such difficult person. What's more, my friend has turned out somewhat like that. She's actually troubling over small matters and being so petty towards her friends! Argh firstly she wasn't an initiative person in the first place, and we have common friends like that too. So...why should you even expect something out of them all the time? Before you expecting from others, did you even do the same for them in the first place? You actually wanna be unhappy and said you got hurt so bad just because they did not wish you on your birthday? Hey did you even remember that you have also forgotten to wish them on their birthdays before? What makes you think every single friend of yours will 100% remember yours? What if she has something important that day? Did you ever consider the person's situation? Plus the fact that you all haven't been talking for so long? Why should you be blaming them for your misery and demand something out of them to compensate for your stupid feelings? Honestly, even if my best friend forgets to wish me I don't even care. Cos I know if I mean to the person you'll somehow remember and wish me someday, even if it's belated. Although this usually don't happen. BUT I DON'T CARE. I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER WHO WISHED ME OR NOT. That's not the point! Why should I be so petty to note who wishes me or not!! I will just be happy on my birthday and celebrate it! And gladly accepts those wishes from anyone who cares. That should just be all!! (¬_¬)
I don't get why my friend wanna place her happiness on others over such a thing. She's definitely taking things for granted, that her friends should always be there for her. I'm kinda wondering is it actually my fault to give in to her all the time and all the attention that she assumes everyone should do the same too. In fact, I was about to sleep the night before her birthday comes, and I've already turned off my phone. But luckily, I still had another device on and I got the chance to wish her first before her day comes since by the time it arrives she won't get to read my message if I were to send on the day itself [since she won't have any connection then.]. Yeah, I did my part all right. To even remember to do it on time rather than going straight to bed. So if I don't wish you on time are you gonna blame me for life? From the looks of it, I bet she will. Because she mind about every single thing that people do for her. EVERY BIT OF IT. (ーー゛)
You know, there's a limit to my tolerance. I really kinda doubt she'll do the same for her friends, that she can be there for them anytime. I don't know, I can't helped but to think so after knowing her for so long. She has all the bad habits that you can expect of, and even after nagging and persuading for years and years she never changes. She admit but comes up with tons of reasons and then conclude that she just wanna be that way after all. This totally annoys me. DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOURSELF? It's really all about the attitude. People who never want to change are just hopeless. I really look down on that. I have even learned to change, for the better of course. Believe or not, I've been getting praises from work which is like the most that I've heard in my life. But what have you been doing despite knowing all the bad habits you have? When are you going to be a better person? I can't even make myself believe that you can do so.
Don't mess with me, really. The least that anyone can do is to think about others and not just yourself. You're not the queen of the world, come on. Stop fretting over small matters and make people dislike you for it. Before you wanna blame others, think of what you did first to them. Did you contribute all that you can and yet you didn't get a return? For me, after I've talked and reached out to the person but he/she didn't reciprocate, I'll back off. Because I know this won't be the true friendship to sought for. And so, you bet if I don't initiate to talk to someone anymore means,... you're 90% out of my life. (ー_ー)!
I know it's going kinda complicated now that I'm not talking to her anymore ever since, for that I don't wanna see her typing essays to me again for all that entire thing. She may have apologize for bothering me that day but that's not what I wanna see. It's your way of life and attitude to change for the better. Words are cheap but actions mean everything. Although I'm really thankful for her for listening to my troubles back then and helped me to resolve an issue, but that is just one isolated case. I've always done my part as a friend and always the one who hit you up, remembering all the dates you went travelling and back home, accompanying you to wherever you wanna go. Seriously, don't tell me you'll expect me to call you to ask if you're much better this time. [Me again?] The first thing I wanna know is whether you'll stop blaming our friends. Stop being a self-centered and selfish person cos that's the thing I hate most. But well, I know for sure this will never happen. Since you've already insisted that this is you that you shouldn't give in to stop being petty.
Not that I'm fully relieved of everything, since I'm not done with last month's closure but I did my best up till Friday so it's something good to give me an applause for. haha.
Recently I've also been thinking about quite a few stuffs that I should have for myself. Should I set a personal target for every month? I feel like I probably can do that for my job but it'll definitely be even more tiring though. Lucky we only need to have a yearly target lol. But I feel I can have one for myself so that I can push myself harder. Oh why so? I just feel I haven't been achieving much this time. (・・;)
But did I not? Really? Since my lyric work is already a monthly thing, what more do I want? I have no idea. Maybe some part of me want something new to get pumped up better. What am I trying to do? (ノ-_-)ノ~┻━┻
Well, a little more talk about my job. For the past month there has been some problems due to this difficult colleague that I have to work with. As I'm a checker, I spot for mistakes and I don't do my work blindly. Having said that, not just her but even people outside of our company (customers etc.) done their work blindly and I was just speechless. Did anyone bring their brain to work? lol. Hey I'm not that evil but I just think a mistake or two might be inevitable since I'm not perfect myself either. But I have to say this cos this has happened several times and the documents have gone through so many people and that's why I'm getting a little annoyed. It made me seemed as though I was trying to find fault with them but hey, it's my job to make sure things are in order! I'm also an ordinary person drawing a fixed salary but why I did so much? I just don't wanna go against my principles and I don't wanna slack. That won't be me. I believe in giving all my might with whatever is required of me. So that I'll live up to my name and be respected too. Yeah, for some kind of such reason. ^_^;
Argh, whatever that I'm saying. Look what my eagerness at work has brought me. Lucky for that I have a cooperative manager that helps me to solve problems as I wasn't in a high position to say a thing to the others. She would always say "Do something!" whenever there's a problem arise and will say the same to her family. I think I got influenced by her too, that we can't just sit there and expect things to fall into place naturally cos it won't. It's also kinda complicated when it involves people, even dragging more people into the picture and I'm starting to worry later in this month how will everything turn out to be. I'm not sure but my stand will always be there. I will still do my part properly and should there be anything else that crops up again I will voice it out again. Let me be that strict and annoying person you have to deal with. I can't ignore the things that we have to do and it won't be my problem so long as I pointed them out yeah? Why can't some people learn from their mistakes and not repeat it again? Why aren't they bringing their brain to work? I'm even tired of having to say it again and again as though I'm making things difficult for you when you're the one instead. (=ﾟДﾟ=)
Alright, enough of this for now. I need to take a break and reflect on myself too.
Yes!! I'm all set to release this dark rock song of mine for September. It just happens somehow while I was deciding which to be posted here, and since recently at the start of this month I wasn't feeling entirely good, and rock songs gave me the feels once more. I love listening to dark ones cos they appeal to my heart so much. I feel I was revived in other way. I don't know why there is just this side of me but probably that's because all the years in my life I have been keeping many things inside my heart. At some point of time I feel I wanted to burst and be rebellious, but I just can't. I can't go against my principles too. And perhaps slowly, all these that build up inside me turned into something that cannot be gone anymore. I guess I can give it a name, but I've no idea which is the best as of now. haha. But let's just zoom into my masterpiece anyway. ♪～(´ε｀ )
[Inspired by BUCK-TICK 喋喋]
舞蝶(まいちょう)
Darkness, they run through me
happily they leaked out a secret
If I burst into tears and enter this door,
I'm never gonna return
Dreams and lovers
like insects, they crumble
out of desire, out of control
*I'm that dancing butterfly
with the freedom you dreamt of
It doesn't matter
I don't have to watch the clock ticking anymore
If death chooses me,
I'll gladly accept
Fear, is quieter than I thought
I'm devouring too much I can't stop trembling
It's easy when I can smile to myself
when it's gonna hurt me like it used to
Guilt and dejection
like rocks, they sink
out of replusion, out of control
*I'm that dancing butterfly
with the freedom you dreamt of
It doesn't matter
I don't have to watch the clock ticking anymore
If death chooses me,
I'll no longer hesitate
~~~~~ I embrace this dark side of myself in fact.
Only then that is where I can come up with something like that,
that made me feel a lot better and understand myself better.
And my love for Buck-tick has gotten stronger too.
Definitely something to be proud of afterall.
Big order ビッグオーダー [10 episodes] → Completed this anime on early September and I'm starting to have mixed feelings for it! Well at first, it was really exciting and a modern kind of supernatural anime that made me feel their powers are rather cool. But as the story progressed, I got shocks and confused instead. I'm not sure what's exactly going on and wondering what's the point of this anime at the end of it. They just left me not understanding a thing so argh I have to say I'll not recommend this to anyone. I'm even feeling sorry for myself at some point cos this messed me up but the good thing I have to say is that at least the opening is a rock song which made me discovered this band 妖精帝國 so it was pleasant enough. There isn't a totally bad thing about it although I should have guessed when there are comments saying how bad it is. lol.
The shocking things in the anime? There is a scene where Eiji and his stepsister Sena got really close to each other and it's obvious that they're making out. I was really stunned but I'm not gonna show that part here although it's just Eiji was on top of her [still with clothes on, but they're saying about not leaving each other and stuffs like that.]. That was enough! How can this happen! How can their relationship be taken to this level? Although they are not blood-related siblings but this is still wrong! And what's more, at the last episode it was revealed that she's 13 at that time when they @#%$^#$ !! I'M REALLY DISTURBED BY THIS!
Besides that, there are some obscene parts [where they all head to bath/onsen] and I'm glad the series I watched have censored it out with light. lol. Such scenes are really not necessary to the show and it's really of no relation to the story at all. And then Eiji's father was all out to kill him in such a mad manner? No wait, firstly Iyo got pregnant with his child after he touched her ears by accident, and she gave birth to it like 5 mins later but then the child was gone? It ran away?? And there's no more mention of it after that. She even tried to make out with him later but he rejected. What a shame. Then Rin was a stubborn girl who keeps aftering his life but to know later that he wasn't the one who caused the Great Destruction. But anyway, when it was explained later on how the Great Destruction came about, without a doubt it all started with Eiji's father being crazy doing experiments and then whatever the mission the others have to stop the real culprit for plotting a second one. They have got it all planned out and I don't know what's the part with talking to the minister but anyway I got lost at in the middle. Honestly, I can't remember all the characters I still don't know who is who and what they're supposed to do. >_< I don't even know what I'm watching but I completed them to see if I could get anything but sadly I don't lol. At least, they gave it a good ending where their life were restored and got to be normal again without those powers and Sena could walk like ordinary person. But it was really done too hastily at this part so I couldn't even understood what kind of ending is that. And Eiji is still being surrounded with the 2 girls. Oh and I supposed the waitress is Daisy but what for she appeared at that part without addressing a thing. I mean the writer could have done more in this anime. It's just too messy for me to say anything else more that I could like. Argh!!
Anyway I just wanna post a little more pictures instead of one so here's just 2 more. I like the part where they can combine their powers and it turned out awesome!
Yeah, actually I mean, I like to see couples holding hands like this and being lovey-dovey cos that's just so sweet. lol. They could have been a great couple together but damn the Eiji is too sticky with his stepsister! ヽ(≧Д≦)ノ
And I like Iyo's power for being able to make a divination and this star seeker thing just appears as she used her power. How cool.
Alright, I just wanna post something that I've watched. Not that I like it or will recommend it. You may want to waste your time, but don't blame on me. I will search for better ones to recommend for watching if I could. lol.
Sorry to be late for the July lyric post! Starting this year I know I have not been writing enough lately. Been too occupied with every other thing else in my life and also constantly yearning for rest that I don't have as much inspiration going on inside my head as compared to last year. For this I have to say, that from next year onwards I'll take it slow and release whenever I feel like it, instead of making myself post every month. Coming up with 12 lyrics a year has became kinda tough for me since I only wanna release those that can be seen by anyone else here. I did wrote a lot in the past but I just don't find them appropriate to be seen by the rest of the world. Honestly I wanna keep some to myself too, and so this will make me try to write more. I can't explain why I do so but that's just how this goes for me. I think this is quite a good way for me after all since I'm comfortable with it. (｀･ω･)っ彡/
And so all I'm left with is to come up with at least 2 lyrics for this year since I've already planned a precious song to isshi long ago for his birthday in December [and that was also something I've written long ago too]. I guess that's what I can do best for this year at least. Although I've been feeling kinda guilty lately for being into Buck-tick more than Kagrra now. Well my source of inspiration could come from different places as long as I can write something of my style right? I believe isshi would never blame me and neither should I do that to myself. I didn't forget him nor ignore him at all. But I'm kinda losing touch with Japanese and on one hand it's just hard to deal with so many things on one go. "Should I take a break so that I can get pumped up again and will do more than before?" That's always the thought that goes inside my head and then I'll get lost again. Guilt and patience torture me too much nowadays. I really need a solution to all that problems. Argh.
Anyway, on to the lyric that was supposed to be an encouraging one... I hope I did well nonetheless. ^_^
[Inspired by BUCK-TICK Galaxy]
インフィニティ infinity
The love I never once thought will break me apart
has started darkening the skies
What can I do as I hugged and cried
Chasing a dream we can never call as reality
I sank my head, recalling how lies overtook me
What can I believe in, when nothing has come true
Just when you think everything is over,
somehow that ray reaches you...
*The night is not for nightmares as you thought
but a time for you to dream a beautiful dream
Hey, living is nothing but just a dream
just spread your wings and let go of all the worries
There's nothing to be fearful of anymore
Turning my back away from love so as to believe I'm strong enough to stand again
But only to realise I'm shivering with uncertainties and to fall down again
How am I to look up as I came to be wrong once more
The nightmares in the night...
If life is a tragic for us to believe,
then why can't we stop running?
*The night is not for nightmares as you thought
but a time for you to dream a beautiful dream
Hey, living is nothing but just a dream
just spread your wings and let go of all the worries
There's nothing to be fearful of anymore
Let my heart be unstoppable
~~~~~ As we came to know more and go through more,
Heck, just when I was feeling lousy about myself when I wrote on my previous post. lol.
It's already September now. Not exactly that I'm happy with a new month again. I feel I have to set better and more specific targets each time so that it'll keep me more motivated. August has ended and so what have I done?? Argh, it's a pain to recall things each time actually. Well, all that I can remember is that I've really spent a lot the past month and I'm feeling quite guilty of myself. (ó﹏ò｡) Although I do note down all my expenses but it doesn't help to control. I just don't want to force myself not to spend a thing especially when I come across good stuff. It's always that when you're half deciding whether to buy the item or not and then think that the next time you got there you shall grab that item but alas! it's no longer there anymore. What a regret. I won't wanna let it happen to me anymore so I will always get something when I feel like it. Yeah, I'm trying to make up for what I've lost in the past. And this is definitely the right thing to do haha. Just that I have to decide myself whether it's worth it. I don't usually anyhow spend my money anyway so I believe what I'm doing now is good. hehe. What a way to console myself. (≧▽≦)
Well for the past years I have been nagged at by my friends saying how bad I was at dressing up and in monotone colours etc. I guess probably I was really that bad at those times since I don't buy clothes that often and they're usually passed down from my cousin and aunt? Who doesn't want to be pretty! I don't have that money to dress up nicely and I have that mindset back then that it's pointless of me to do so since no one would care about me. I don't have a reason to be pretty. lol. But right now, since I could afford what I want and know better what suits me, I definitely am dressing better now. Not for the sake of others but myself of course. But I guess the point is being confident and comfortable with who I am. I was someone with low self-esteem and low confidence in my teens. I kept feeling how bad I am in everything [it gets worse when your family always pulls you down too -_-] and ended up concealing a lot of myself. Then it gets hard for me to do anything and I don't know what to do about it to change that. Hmm it probably proves that as you age and know better you should definitely start from within. With a better mindset then you can excel in whatever you do. Although I don't agree with some people saying that you should look at your best [pretty] everyday since I think it's quite impossible, because we should always have some days to let ourselves be lazy and let go having to feel conscious about our looks all the time. I don't want to feel that tensed even at home! lol. My philosophy is that we have to feel good about ourselves all the time, no matter what we do.
There being, since I've watched Lavendaire's video and got inspired with all that crap in me. haha.
I won't get pulled down by any mean comments anymore. I don't owe anyone a thing to tolerate that. I live my life my own way without hurting anyone anyway. I'll only have to answer to myself. And so, this is the Yuuka that was born. +.*☆( ˘ω˘ )☆*.+
Finally, this is my quote on what I believe.
Change is only good when you change for the better.
I will always be the better version of myself each year.
You know this feeling comes when you're just left nothing to do at home and all alone... lol.
Well today I was also feeling like a failure when I was not needed to help out with the cooking for lunch today. It's not that I don't wanna learn cooking you see, my mum doesn't teach me! She'll just pick me at how bad I'm doing and then she'll end up doing everything by herself. How am I supposed to get to learn a thing? No one has the patience. I lived with my grandma as a kid and she doesn't teach me a thing either! >_< I want to pick up this skill in cooking and I believe it's something that has to be taught personally cos recipe books are just not dependable. It's an activity that has to be carried out often and way too flexible for you to adjust the ingredients as you like. [Eg. if you don't like a certain food or you can't find the ingredient, or to make sure the ingredient you get doesn't clash with the other etc] I don't know if anyone will agree with what I think about this but yeah, I do think it's not something as easy for you to be good at like reading and writing, you need someone to test the flavour and tell you how you can improve. And every person I came across who's really good at cooking have someone to guide them all along. How lucky. ( ´∵｀)
Alright, that's fine. Although I'm really feeling down thinking about this. Probably when time comes I'll find a way to get myself being good at this skill someday, for the sake of the those that I love? Maybe I should start by watching more cooking videos to get pumped up. In fact I like to watch them as a kid but I didn't get to do the cooking myself. lol. Well that's just me to enjoy watching people doing things. I like to observe too much! haha.
Anyway, since I was kinda sick with a mild flu, so I spent my time mainly at home and sleep cos I needed rest. This week passed by way to fast for me to realise which means I was also really overwhelmed with the amount of work. （・□・；）There's so many data for me to key into the system damn I felt so aching from all the typing. Work is really endless and draining as time goes by. I found myself to be less motivated this week. It made me yearn for more and longer holidays. I feel I need to be away from everything at least once... If I really could. (,_,)
And because I'm here trying to entertain myself, look what YouTube recommended me.
This girl is way too good at playing that Guzheng! Omg I loved how beautiful that instrument sound as a kid but I've never got the chance to play it, not even learn it though. What a sad life I have. lol. It was only in later in my teens I got the chance to be part of the orchestra and learned a chinese instrument finally. But not that I can play it that great. Yeah I watched videos of how they perform and I feel so lousy about myself once again. (-_-)
Well the thing I wanted to say actually is that this music seemed so familiar when I first heard it! Then I realised, oh it's Wagakki band's song that I must have heard it long ago. They're quite a cool band and I've watched them performed live before but just too bad I have no feels for them. Although they are of the same genre as my favorite Kagrra, but I won't like a band just for the same genre cos afterall the music they make aren't as good as my Kagrra,. SIMPLY STILL NO ONE CAN BE OF MATCH WITH MY KAGRRA, and they just can't impressed me that well. They just can't!! And I can't explain why I dislike that main female vocalist. I don't like her voice and I find the band too noisy with too many instruments in the music. It's flooding with too many things my ears can't absorb. lol. They're awesome nonetheless since there's hardly a mixed group around. But sadly, I just can't like them.
I'm not being overly bias over Kagrra, okay. Although they are definitely the best in my heart but I do listen to other bands of other genres and exploring to see which are those that are of my type too. I'm also learning to appreciate different sort of rock and it's really not that I dislike listening to female voices although I've been listening to a lot of male voices all along. xD I just discovered 妖精帝國 Yousei Teikoku and I feel so comfortable to listen to the female vocalist's voice!! Yeah it's because of anime I can come across awesome rock songs. (^o^) They're a mixed band too, and they're of gothic metal which is makes this even more cool. lol. There I realised and know better that there have to be many factors for me to like a certain band. Most importantly it lies with the first song that I've heard from them. The specific genre is not really the point so long as they are doing rock. And the vocalist voice must be one that I feel comfortable listening to. Especially when it's filled with deep feelings. That's how I like Buck-Tick as you can see...
So yeah, I'm into this song lately and it's additive. lol. I can't believe for a mo that they've been around since 1997? But I've never heard of them only until now. I may be trying to discover more about them since this is quite refreshing. xD I hope this is another inspiration for me cos it'll be the best if it turns out that way. (^_^;)
Ooh and to be back to the topic on feeling so untalented, another thing that pops out at my YouTube feed recommending me to watch:
Just look at how cool those boys are!! lol.
I know I shouldn't feel so bad about myself. They are artistes afterall and so they got all the practice. It's their job anyway right? But it will also be good if I can ever do something like that like being part of a group and dance for the fun of it and got it film just like them? Yeah I'm dreaming. Being as good as them is no joke. The amount of time and effort for all that. If I'm doing that for leisure, I'm not even sure if I can be serious enough for the practice. haha!
But seeing the whole coorodination of them dancing and on beat is really such a pleasant thing to watch. Why guys can look so cool and their dance is freaking awesome! I'm not interested in girls' since it's always like twisting the body and acting sexy most of the time. lol. It always seems to me that guys' dance have a real level of difficulty that's much nicer to watch. And here I am wondering how nice would it be if I'm a guy because you bet, I'll be even more daring to do all sorts of things than I am now.
Yeah, just why am I not born as a guy? >_<
Okay, enough of my foolishness, and feeling how much of a failure I am. I should go do something right now and prove my usefulness.
