Being ready for 2017☆*.+

Reading about this blog post makes me think about my future again. lol.

That blogger did make a good point. It's about appreciating and enjoying how great life is right now, while still yearning for a better future.

But I'm kinda struggling in following exactly how he suggested. As below~:

Ambitious: Being ambitious now to set three goals to achieve what I want in the next three months? [It seemed like completing one in one month but I can't grasp if that time frame is enough for me, cos it's definitely too rushing for me! I wanna take my time at things because I just can't learn that fast anymore (┯_┯)]

Grateful: Three things that I'm grateful every day? That is simple, since I already have a gratitude post. But mainly 3 things everyday would be:
● being in good health
● able to eat what I want
● have my own entertainment - listening to music or watching funny shows to cheer myself up


Which do I lean towards more? Maybe gratitude cos it's easier. lol.

I know previously I struggled with whether to call it resolutions or projects but they meant the same thing to me as they are just things that I've planned to do for the next year [and into the long future] to learn and improve myself. Whatever is it gonna be, I'm gonna call it projects cos it'll sound better that way. Resolutions probably sound a little difficult to take on and they have to last the entire year. Projects are definitely a task to accomplish within a deadline. I don't even know why am I bothering to explain it here. (´-ω-`). But here comes my list and the first three shall be the top three that I wanted to achieve the most!!

1. Release at least 5 lyrics depending on my mood and not in a rush anymore
2. Really set to attain the level of basic Italian and advance Japanese this time
3. Develop a better lifestyle of indoor exercise and doing more walks
4. Have the habit of reading consistently and do my book reviews
5. Learn cooking [on my own] by starting simple
6. Also a little bit of other side entertainment and relaxation like doing my coloring book and perhaps writing short stories
7. Learn a spoken dialect

Omg this list is kind long. And there are unaccomplished ones brought forward from last year: 
✿ Complete my Kagrra quotes page
✿ Read and write more Japanese for this blog!

Struggling on whether to push myself harder or not to stress myself so much. Having a deadline is always good since it's been working for me all along. Maybe I'm a little too fast to fret over this now but before I know it, time could just fly before my eyes before I can be ready for it. Next year I'm gonna spend my time with ONLY people who are WORTH of my time. Sadly, there isn't much. So this is also good, which means I have more time for my projects to be accomplished. I really have to be more determined this time. And slowly, I'll be more certain and firm as to who I am.

Let's do our best!!!

Not-so-beautiful sunday

Ahh...what a Sunday dealing with this crappy internet connection again.  (-_-) Then I realised it must be overcrowding of the connection and that's why I couldn't use. This really sucks although I kinda got it solved. (¬_¬)

I have taken 2 days of rest from work which seemingly seemed good but I ended up meeting friends for lunch and then dinner the other day so since I was going places it's not that I have any sufficient rest either. lol. It's just a less clouded mind away from work. Sleep wise, it wasn't as good as before too, strangely. I thought I could sleep better without thinking about work since there won't be any stress, but maybe it's the weather? I have no idea since I also felt restless just last night. I got up suddenly in the middle of the night and stretched my legs hard out. My muscles felt so uneasy. I couldn't lie down in a relax manner at all. Then I thought BTS woke me up [I must have watched too much of them during the day time that I even see the wrong things. xD ] But it was such an uncomfortable feeling that I couldn't stay in place. Nothing made me feel better. I keep flipping around and stretched hard! Somehow I really wanted to break all my bones so that I'll feel better.  (｡•́︿•̀｡) Then again, even running probably won't help too, since I've used to tried it. Something is so wrong with my body now! Argh.

Anyway I just wanna rant a bit here. I AM certainly annoyed with this friend of mine now. Well although we aren't considered to be that close but we do meet often for weekday lunch and talk mostly about work related stuffs. But 3 days back when I met her she told me she envies me for having the day off. BUT she is gonna have a long 2 weeks off from work next month. I don't get it. Her sentence made me angry. Why are you envy of me when you're gonna have a longer break than I do? Isn't that an insult to my intelligence? Hey I can count! 2 weeks = 10 days without including the weekends. HOW IS 2 DAYS ANY BETTER THAN 10 FREAKING DAYS OF BREAK? If I'm gonna include the weekends, HOW IS 4 DAYS ANY BETTER THAN 14 DAYS OF BREAK? Tell me!! Wtf is your analogy?

Just because I am on a day off while you're working? What is there to envy as compared to the number of day leaves you have than mine!! ヽ(≧Д≦)ノ You have 30+ days a year while I don't even have half of yours!! ⋋_⋌

I almost can't control but not to the extent yet of telling her off. But I really don't get her mindset. She is better than me in many ways [be it work and her life] and she never have to fret about money, but yet she's the stingiest in the way she treated her friends. This made me think whether should I continue to tolerate her or not. Because she's been treating friends so miserly like they mean nothing but she only spent big bucks on herself. It's not as though she couldn't afford to spend. I don't mean she has to spend luxuriously on her friends, but at least something decent? Treating friends to a meal is a common thing isn't it? I did that all the time, most of my friends do too. But nope she never does it. Not to mention a drink. I believe she has never ever treated anyone before. She even suggest to give a packet of mixed biscuits and chocolate that I gave her as a birthday present for the other friend. WHAT?? How can you even think of that? Something so cheap as a present??? And when it's meant for you as a small treat from me. You mean I'm gonna spend my time and trip to meet our friend just to pass that cheap thing for her as a birthday present? Omg. Excuse me, I can afford to buy something decent like a bag or wallet you know. And it's for her birthday. Can you stop being so stingy? (ﾉ ○ Д ○)ﾉ

This world is just full of strange people with their kind of stupid theory that doesn't make sense and of their foolishness thinking they are always right. Suddenly I feel I had enough of people. I'm really having a hard time trying to tolerate while deep inside I really wanna smack them off. It's too hard for me to understand anymore. I'll rather sit right here spending my time reading quality stuffs instead. This anger is just a waste of time and life having to deal with them. My goodness. I'll rather talk to cats. (>ω<)

Deathnote -Light up the new world- review

Almost can't believe I haven't had my own movie review in years! xD  I guess I was probably too lazy all along to write my entire thoughts of a movie, especially since most movies don't usually have great quality content. ^_^; Well well now it's about time since I'm already done with my long-awaited favourite movie!! (^o^)

Before I watched this I have read some reviews and most gave low ratings and mentioned how bad it is compared to previous movies and even to manga/anime version. But why should you even want to compare them? I know the fact that there probably won't be another person as smart as Light anymore so I wasn't expecting those guys to outwit him and made better use of the notebooks or whatever lol. But I've been waiting so long to see how the creators made this story turn out to be so I'm still looking forward to it and not having overly high expectations like what most people have. haha.

Yeah right, many people in the show died which is really a sad thing. There is one girl at the beginning who kills anybody in the streets in which I really find that an asshole. (-_-)  Oops and there are many parts in the story in which I don't get it that I have to look up at all the rules right after watching it. Why are there only 3 Shinigamis that appeared since there are 6 notebooks on Earth? Are you telling me they each own more than a book here? How about the Russian doctor? Did he see the Shinigami and is it one of those 3? It's sad that Arma, the shinigami below also died as she 'sacrificed' herself by killing the killer Nanase since Ryuzaki didn't want Mishima to die. That part of the story made me teared since it's the most touching scene in the movie. It's really silly of her to do so. (´；Д；｀) But with her kindness and not asking Ryuzaki to use the notebook has made her as my favourite shinigami now.

There were indeed many unexpected parts and I was surprised that the supposedly new Kira guy was actually Mishima although I was already wondering about him when he first stared at a picture on the wall for some time. But he looked totally innocent! And of course, that was due to his gave-up on the notebook and therefore he has lost all the memories about it. Smart move just like Light huh. But honestly, none of their strategy is as amazing as what Light can come up with ages ago. Although I was thinking what the hell that Yuki guy was trying to do with getting all the six notebooks in his hands and it turns out that he was also searching for the new Kira guy who has done all the killings but does it makes any sense? In the end he died too, with continuing writing those names of the squard coming after them. Ahh, at least now I know the reason for all six notebooks to be on Earth since Ryuk has explained it to Mishima. Well, but is creating chaos on Earth also okay for that to happen? Is it their aim to have more people to die? What to they do with it? Are they trying to hit specific number as their targets? ←[this is my stupid guess since the death king wanted a new Kira too. lol] Hmm so maybe they wanted to create a new land with lesser people and watch how they kill each other? Yeah especially if you see Ryuk! He's the shinigami that enjoys having fun so much. lol.

Okay, so there aren't as many exciting parts but the pace can be a little fast for me to realise what's going on unless I fully understood the rules already. But overall, it's still a good show to watch and it seems that it might be another one and the story could continue since Mishima made his escape....

The most admirable person of all is still the legendary Light and no one else. Maybe along with L too since he is another genius. But such exciting moments could only exist once... (┯_┯)

Hopefully the creators can make the story develop much much better if they were to really continue this movie. I enjoyed it and wasn't disappointed with it. Just that the excitement factor isn't as great as before. (._.)

Yuuka's Rating: 4/5

How to stay motivated ─=≡Σ((( つ•̀ω•́)つ

[got this off from a book on diet plan]＼(・o・)/!

● set realistc targets
● record progress, search for tips and note down any thoughts
● remember the rewards that will come after achieving the goal
● list pros and cons related to it but still will still carry out the plan  

If it's about diet, this is not gonna be applicable to me since I've been underweight almost all of my life. lol. My current BMI is at 16.4, which is still considered low. My lowest being at the age of 13, which is at 14+! I can't believe it myself, I was way too skinny that time and I remembered this classmate who made fun of me cos of that. (,_,) But no matter how much I eat I just can't gain any weight since it's very much proven that so long as I have to use my brain a lot, all my energy just goes up to my head and so no fats will be stored in my body. It's not as though I can control this well. Now I'm struggling whether to put on any weight. I just want stronger muscles this time so that I can feel that I'm strong. haha. But girls with visible muscles are kinda unsightly. I don't know, I've not made up my mind what I wanted to be. (^_^;)


As for now, I feel I want to be healthier. It's not as though I had a really bad diet [I hardly take fried food] but because I had too much outside food I feel I need to change it. I'm also getting sick at how people cook and handle the food in such a bad way that I feel I can do better than them!  (╬ ಠ益ಠ)  At least having some home-cooked food once a week would probably be better? I don't know how should I go about doing it but I guess I should start from something simple. Somehow it was that garden/caesar salad I ate the other day that sparked the love I have for salads. In the recent years I began to be more willing to pay for salads when I'm out with my friends for food. Some of them just won't wanna eat that probably cos they think it isn't worth? Yeah the ingredients are simple and so easy to make, so why pay for it at that price? But I ended up choosing salads because I don't want a full heavy meal. The fresh raw vegetables will make my stomach feel clean and better. I don't think it's not worth so long as I get satisfied from it. And yeah, for that point → 'why not I just make it myself at home?' I can add whatever ingredients I like! And it doesn't take too much time. It's simple enough to start with. So that's how this began. I'm saying this shall be my new goal in making food at home and that's how my motivation comes. haha.

● have a favourite quote up on the wall or a picture/poster of the person whom you aspire to be to keep reminding you about it.

Honestly, I don't know if putting up a poster will work that well, cos I think I will get used to seeing it until I feel nothing. It'll probably act more like a decoration up the wall more than anything else. Now I don't even have any female posters on my wall. I don't think my eyes will open to look at it. lol. Anyway I've dump them all [which are mostly of the queen] and that doesn't even bother me at all.

But what I've learned this year [in which became my philosophy now] is.... not to waste the item's life.

If I've bought it, make full use of it. If it doesn't suit me, give it to somebody else who would probably need it better than I do. Don't keep it until it expires and to be thrown away. It's really that simple. Take it or leave it. Make the freaking right decision of my purchase. lol.

So seriously, what motivates me now? I think it can come from everywhere. Mainly if I'm very sure of what I wanted to achieve. I don't need to look up to a particular person anymore. I will be sure of myself that what I'm doing is at the best interest for myself and that's how it's gonna be. I can be a better person than I can imagine that I'll be. If anyone can do it, so can I. I will believe that and do better with all the projects I've given to myself. And so, my new year will also be this great. (^_^)

back to my own world＊*☆°♡

A little update for this week. My internet connection on my computer is always this strange and unstable, which doesn't happen on my phone at all. I'm irritated but it came back better after an hour or so that's why I can blog now. Starting this month I have been facing with rejections from my friends to meeting me. It makes me wonder am I really too free unlike them. I've always have to fit to their schedule! It's always me who have to be accommodating all the time. Until I feel I had enough of this, canceling on me one after another. If I'm not that important in your life then I guess I should do the same then. Well, what a cruel truth. Not many people treat me as important for all I know. It's just that I'm only realising this right now that I have to face it. I do have a friend who told me before in the face that friends are nothing to her but family always comes first, so that's why it's always been so hard to find a time to meet her. But why should you be like this? Out of 365 days but yet you can only find a day to meet me and no more? What a joke. Most people are like that. Or otherwise, they love to call me at the very last minute to accompany them because they know I can make it. Yeah I must be too free. It shouldn't be like this anymore. I should be the one whom you gonna make time for and hard to get to meet me. It isn't fair that how I always have to be the one who bears with so much. I'm gonna put my time into more quality use and for myself. I'm definitely gonna be a busy person than you think. Don't you ever regret for not treating me nice. If you're missing me then it's probably too late. I'm in no time for you too. You should have known when this noisy person ended up not talking to you as much as before. But whatever, seems like everyone is too busy about themselves to realise that I'm not talking to them anymore.

Well then, does this means I'm back to square one? And being back to my own world again? Wowow. Maybe this means something. I had to really work on myself and start to achieve all my goals. Just yesterday I received an email from a customer after sending a document that he wants. He was so polite enough to say "Thank you once again for your help. Have a good time with your family" which touched me so much. 。・°°・(＞_＜)・°°・。It was the first time a customer would say that to me. Normally it'll be "have a good weekend" and that is nice enough. Somehow this made me feel I should really focus on being home and everything.....


As much as I wanted to be a better person there are probably many ways and aspects to work on. Meeting friends more often and trying to be an extrovert [it initially was what I wanted to do] doesn't necessarily means that would be the right thing to do. Some things just has to happen at the right time I guess. It may or may not fit for me so I have to find the balance and what I'm happy with. I guess after all these, I'm kinda better at thinking on what I wanted to do now.

I also wanna thank that Korean customer who said that to me. It's really very nice to receive it and also made me happy at work no matter how small are the things I do. I really do deserve more than I should.

So...probably more blog posts to come? Hehehe. (≧▽≦)

Can you really smooth my skin away?

I wanted to do a little update since I have the time. I have been really satisfied with the Maikohan BB cream I bought last month. (*^◯^*) It just suits me perfectly with the nice fragrance and the powdery feel after applying onto my face. Just like the CC cream that I'm still using now. I'm really starting to love Japanese BB/CC creams cos they are the only ones that I'm satisfied with so far. It seems that I'm hardly using Korean products now but it doesn't really matter though. (-｡-;) I only care about what works for me rather than what's more popular around. haha.

My recent purchases are only these 2 items! That's kinda pathetic but I think it's best if I buy things that I really need than getting more than what I need? haha anyway I was searching for this product for a long time! I remember there is such where it can remove body hair but I just couldn't find it at the drugstore. I thought I've seen it sold somewhere before but just that I didn't make myself buy it. Now that I saw it with the video playing at Tokyu Hands I know I have to get it! It's definitely better than having to remove hair by other means like waxing right! I've even tried out the product at that time and it did removed some of those fine hairs on my arm so it should be fine right......?

Until I tried it out today, I would say better use with caution!! (┯_┯)

This stuff really works. But it's like how I use the product in the right way. It's kinda tough so to speak. Those girls in the video sample looked so relaxed and made it so easy to use, but I need so much time to remove those hairs. Yeah in circular motion. I did my best and for a moment when I suddenly feel my skin had that airy feeling [where there's no hair present there anymore] it feels scary! Then I saw some of my pores opened up, there's like a little blood oozing in one pore? Did I scrub that hard? I believe I did rather gently already. But I think I should do the entire arm since I'm already at it. Then I feel pain on one patch of my skin. I HAVE OVERSCRUBBED THE AREA WITHOUT REALISING. I will only know after I'm done with the area without seeing the hairs there. It hurts damn it!! ヽ(≧Д≦)ノ

Well it's supposed not to hurt at all when using it. When I was in the shop trying it didn't hurt at all. How would I expect this to happen while I'm at home? It's hard to figure it. If I do it with a fixed number of circles [let's say 5] the hairs will be unevenly removed. That's such a dilemma. Should I leave it or should I continue to remove some of those left behind? It's so hard! It's not as though our skin is entirely a flat surface. (ﾟOﾟ)

Okay, since I've bought it anyway I will still continue the product of course. But argh I'm still kinda scared. And sad it didn't work to my satisfaction. Nevertheless it's still pretty convenient. It isn't a permanent solution so you have to keep using it and replace the pads. Is it worth afterall? Maybe, maybe not..?

Then I got Hada labo water gel since I'm still looking for the best moisturizer for my face, but I've yet to use it. Shall review it the next time. I'm..... gonna do something about my broken skin now. Sob. (ó﹏ò｡)

Reflections for 2016☆

Yeah here comes towards the end of this year and I wanted to have an overview of what has happened for this entire year and see how much I've done so far. To be frank I wasn't totally satisfied, and perhaps I think I didn't do as well as much as I wanted to. It could sum up to be a kinda ordinary boring year to go through but if I were to compare to the past years I think this time I did better things for myself. At least I get what I want to do and became more organised now and more certain of myself. This is a pretty good improvement to have, personally. I know I didn't put on much thought on my life and everything throughout all these years, until this year I feel I have to get moving! I'm still learning slowly bit by bit though. And nothing beats having to be contented and also to have goals and improve all the time. That's what I'm gonna do. Noting all of them down feels really good too. That's how things should go for me → always good! ٩(๑´3｀๑)۶

I know I'm kind early for this post but I'm already itching to get this all out. Because December might be the busiest time and it's more like a time for me to start preparing for resolutions and stuffs for next year. So for now, I've done what I could so let's see how much it has been this far:

Fandom
♥ left the fan group and feeling free from being the queen's fan ✓
♥ New group/band that I got introduced to:
♪ Kpop → BTS - Save me
♪ Jrock → Soft Ballet / minus - Sand lowe / No.5
♥ Stop Pause Kagrra for a moment cos I've got into Buck-Tick a lot for my lyrics and so some feeling is missing *guilty*

Leisure
✿ trying to start proper online course for an European language [Dutch at first, then Italian] but then fail to keep up with it. (,_,)  
✿ started colouring to destress but also failed to continue
✿ still learning slowly at my pace for Japanese
♥ done few book reviews which goes good. ✓
♥ lyric writing that is just on time for the month's release. So I didn't get to write a lot but at least I can keep up with it. ✓
♥ still watching animes and doing reviews but really at my pace [only wanna watch quality ones] since I've watched much lesser this time compared to last year.  (ง ˙ω˙)ว
♥ getting better at drinking beer xD 

Best times
♥ accompany my friends to catch pokemons
♥ wore yukata for the first time ✓
♥ visited interesting places like cat cafe and musical box museum for the first time ✓

Lifestyle
♥ implemented Kon Mari method into my life → cleared stuffs, more organised and free ✓
♥ learning to focus on myself more, especially on self-worth. Nothing is bad about being single.✓
✿ thinking about independence...

Skincare
♥ learned to trim my eyebrows on my own ✓
✿ got myself tanned in March cos I have been in the sun for too long [not that I wanted to]
✿ will still have a little hormonal change when the time of the month comes

Haircare
✿ have that 3 strands of white hair still here and getting more forgetful [I always have to write things down] (・_・)
✿ taking good care of my scalp and heading to the salon ✓

School/work
✿ Stop continuing my major → because the whole 6 months of study last year has seriously ruined my sleep and health altogether. I need to adjust them back (´；Д；｀)
✿ ended work late at the start of the year but towards the next half I'm better at managing them and can leave on time
♥ received praises so I'm getting confident at work that I'm careful ✓
✿ waiting for pay raise and rethink about my future there.

Health
✿ having pains at times → probably including heart pains too (,_,)
✿ feeling hungry most of the time and also nausea, stomachache for no reason?
♥ tried and accepted ginger tea in my life! ✓

Feelings
✿ missing Shua since January, and not wanting him to leave at anytime of my life.   (T ^ T)
✿ Experienced mood changes [probably a lot] and struggling to have inspiration for writing
✿ became calm now when faced with something unpleasant and even bumping into bloggers/celebrities
✿ being irritated by people at work and with a particular friend so I'm still struggling on how to deal with people
♥ have learned to feel good and comfortable with myself. Nothing is wrong with me. I am beautiful and great just the way I am. ✓
✿ Probably cried a lot over guys I like secretly (｡-_-｡)


Well then, there's probably quite a good number of ticks up there which I'm satisfied with as being an achievement for me. hehe. But of course, in June there's a few in which I didn't do what I wanted and I don't think I need to mention it here again. (^_^;) Cos anyway, they'll be my resolutions brought forward to next year then! hahaha. ＼(~o~)／ Having been able to put up this much of stuffs I'm really happy to see what I've done and that makes me feel good. Next on to resolutions!! The hard part is to be able to keep up with them to last for the whole year. But nevertheless, I can do it!! I'm excited what next year will bring. (⌒‐⌒)

Let's get ready for the new year soon!

Planning for the next...

Ahh... Now it's already November! A new month to be happy about! (^_^)

I remember how busy I've made myself to be in October, going out every weekends that I became so worn out. I haven't got the mood to do anything else efficient like learning languages as always. Yeah, I just wanted to clear my mind if I have to put it in a nice way. To distract myself from something else. (┯_┯) Well then it's not really bothering me anymore and for now I'm just too tired to bother about things that made me unhappy. I'm well rested for this weekend having enough sleep and nap [finally] and so I can say that my mind is clear now. lol. Yeah I've also cleared some unwanted stuffs again but there's always things for me to clear. （・□・；） It's endless somehow but I like that I can do something like this to sort of de-stress. haha.

Now it's also the time for me to start thinking of plans for the next year! I'm glad I can find a planner from Daiso because every year I just couldn't see them on the shelves! The last I had was in 2013, which is really a very nice book thick enough for me to write loads of stuffs. It's more like a diary to me in fact. While this time, the monthly view for 2017 planner although thin, has a pretty good layout for me to plan my stuffs. Since they start off with October, I'm gonna go ahead and start writing for this month's! It's going good so far, and I hope my resolutions/projects will all fall into place nicely. I know I've already gotten one too early last month too, but I'll let that be my diary book I guess. And for now, it's time to be motivated again! ╰(*´︶`*)╯

I've gotten myself a wooden hairbrush and I'm so happy that Daiso has it! I was watching a haircare video on youtube and wondering if I can ever find one. There it appeared just at the right time for me! As my goal this year is to take better care of my hair, I'm really into finding the right tools for it. (^o^)  It brushes really gentle and unlike the current plastic one that I've always been using which will kinda scrub my scalp as I comb my hair. This one makes me feel it's giving my scalp a gentle massage and it totally won't hurt at all. Ahh... I feel so fortunate right now. lol.

What I've been doing consistently right now:
● blow dry my hair in the correct manner
● applying scalp spray every night after shower
● followed by a scalp massage and apply hair oil after that

I'm sooooo into getting my hair healthy and hopefully when I visit the salon for the next few times, my condition will be good enough that I can do other stuffs to it, like dying into a new color! I guess I'm kinda back to wanting this feeling of having a refresh hair and being young. Oops haha. Anyway, the stylist commented that I have a lot of baby hair and I wonder is it due to the effects from using the hair tonic previously? Well then I have no idea is this good or not and it seems that I probably have to find out more about hair and stuff cos I'm lacking so much knowledge in this. (^_^;) I really wish my hair fall would reduce cos they have been saying they saw a lot of hairfalls from me when they washed my hair. (>_<) It's been like this so I really need to get it improved soon. 

Alright, since my internet is playing with me again, next time I shall blog about my skincare updates.


Lastly, this is just a new accessory for my phone which I feel badly needs one. I've lost my guitar ear plug so this bigger one won't get lost anymore. lol.

I'm gonna start customising all my things so that I feel that they belong to me only. hehee.