My Bookmarks♥♥

My mood just came simply on Monday. It's actually been quite a while since I last do some bookmarks of Jay Chou and Jjong which is the first one I've made!! It's still my favourite until now. Anyway, since I have the mood, I did about 10 bookmarks. Crazy me. Taking my own sweet time doing this instead of studying. Lol. (> y <)

There's a Popteen mag in which I dun want cos i dun like the contents so I thought dun waste it n use it to make some Kumicky bookmarks!! I'm glad that at least there's a fav model I can use to make bookmarks and not just dump it. Oh well, I really did dump a whole Cawaii mag without using much of it cos there's simply nothing I like in there (¬_¬) Wat a waste. haha.

So I did 1 SHINee for the first time, 6 Kumicky and 2 Ayu. The ones I'm most satisfied with is still Kumicky. I think I did badly for Ayu. haha. The one with the 2 mag covers look kinda ugly to me now. Argh I'm really quite bad at designing. And there isn't other Ayu picts that I can use!! It's kinda hard.

Oh well, I shall see if there's any other good picts from my old mags that i can use them to do such things again. lol. This is like such a nothing-better-to-do activity. Suddenly I feel like buying some mags just for the sake of making these. Okay, it's just a thought. I will need lots of time and patience. I dun think I will use them yet at the moment cos I can't bear to. For now, it's only as a collection. I'll see how. Can I be able to make like 50 of them?? hahah. simply too crazy to do that!

Had a nice shopping~

Finally bought my long-waited Ayu's FIVE album. lol! It's been a year already, and I have been dragging for so long to buy this album. If only it comes with poster or something then I will push myself to get it as soon as it is released. Oh gosh this is the only time I really took quite long just to buy her album! Back then since GUILTY I have been buying Ayu's album as soon as local CD stores are selling it. Oh well, can't blame me right. I've already listened to all FIVE songs and that there isn't any other new songs in this album that makes me feel motivated to buy it. The only reason that makes me wanna buy FIVE is cos of the mvs as Ayu's youtube channel now doesn't allow us to watch her pvs in full. (￣^￣)ゞ

Anyway, I've watched the DVD this morning and it feels really great to watch Ayu on tv so clearly!! BRILLIANTE still kinda give me the creeps. lol. The most beautiful pvs of all has got to be beloved, followed by Why... feat JUNO. I love how this album is about LOVE and HOPE but 5 songs is really kinda too little as a mini album? I always thought mini album has got to be about 7 or 8 songs like Memorial address. Oh gosh.. I love that old album like mad!! hahaha.

Besides FIVE, bought my fav brand of whitening masks and SHINee's lip balm from Etude House!

I've never used lip balm before n they seem to be inconvenient to use it in small tin form. I dun like to use my fingers to apply on my lips. （・□・；）I've always been using lip conditioner and I'm really fine with it. I have 2 lip conditioners already and it took like ages to finish using them. Now that I got this lip balm I wonder when can I use finish all of them! lol. But I feel like trying it, besides able to get the SHINee folder, I can also see how effective it is compared to my current lip conditioner and how the colour stays on my lips. Wonder if it's the same pinkish look as the one on their lips?? hahaa.

My pretty SHINee folder!! Adds to my collection! haha. They look really cute in pink~! (ﾉ*≧▽)ﾉ☆ Definitely can't bear to use this too. haha.

And there goes. Bye bye my modem of 4 years..it's outdated now, can't use it but it's so cute. (,_,)

Dandruff & Distraction...

I've bought this some weeks ago and I love it!! Probably I should have bought this head massager when I first saw it and it's really cheap anyway. lol. I prefer to use a tool to massage rather than just using my hands. Sure my hands will get tired from holding up so long. haha. In fact I wanted to have it cos sometimes my scalp itches. I thought this will be a good tool to 'scratch' my head. (≧▽≦)ゞ But now my scalp isn't that itchy anymore and I dun know why it suddenly stops? I have dandruff since past few years and I hope massaging doesn't affect it [hope not]. I just wonder why do I have dandruff at beginning of my twenties although it's mild but I feel uncomfortable. And it seems that there isn't really a cure for it, only by using medicated shampoo. I have oily scalp so probably this should be the cause but why do I have oily scalp in the first place?? Why do my skin like to produce oil so much!!! >=( I shampoo and keep my hair clean everyday and yet I still have this problem. So irritating. And I have bad hair too. (¬_¬)


Anyway, the past one week without internet was.....okay for me I guess? I didn't even want to on the computer except once cos I needa read articles for school work. Well, even without the internet life's pretty much the same and indeed I can focus a lot more on reading the articles!! No doubt. If I had the internet on, I'll definitely be distracted most of the time. I find that I can't even read properly, all the way. I will find myself keep clicking and typing some other things. I can't concentrate!! 

Well, I can't really say I can live without internet. lol. I still need to access to emails and updates[definitely not without Ayu!] *ahem* for school stuff. I think I kinda itch a bit cos even though I dun use my laptop often, I've been depending on my wifi connection in my phone to access every other day. lol. I never thought I would be like anyone else so dependent on the internet. Mostly I use it to browse entertainment news. haha. Well, but probably in a few years time everyone has to use it as part of their life. I didn't go for fibre broadband connection this time but in the future probably all of us have to use it? Actually I dun like to use the phone with internet access cos I'm afraid that I'll be so distracted and will keep using it whenever I'm out, or at home. That's wats happening among so many people. Always can see anyone so engrossed with their phone be it playing with games or surfing internet with it. I dun wanna be like that. I just want phone to be simple. And right now I'm definitely not using my phone for such purpose anymore. Just stick to internet on the laptop ok!!

Alright, I should also learn how to manage my time well. But yeah I have more tv channels now and this will be another distraction for me. Oh god. How to not get distracted??!!!

Ayu's Full 4 pvs for today~!

Oh yes great!! I'm so happy today!! hahaha. First is that I got my internet back[been missing online for one week!] and that it so happens that today Ayu's youtube channel provides the Full version of Ayu's pvs which are Return Road, how beautiful you are, NaNaNa and Shake It♥. Although it's only available for these 3 days on 24 to 26 March but I'm really glad I can watch it the moment I go online!! Yeah!~~ This album has only these 4 pvs. I was thinking it would be better if Ayu make more pvs like Kuu and not include making-offs all the time. Well, but this time Ayu didn't release a single before this to promote so I guess maybe there's a time rush for her to produce this album. Nevertheless, I love her songs!! My favourite ones are Return Road and NaNaNa pvs. I'm definitely looking forward to get my copy so that I can do a review on this!! I wonder which version will be imported here n WHEN will it arrive!! And I intend to buy it together with FIVE. lol. I'm definitely gonna burn my own pocket for buying them at the same time. I want CD+2DVD for Party Queen!! Can I have the limited version in a box on sale here? (´･_･`)

Here's a cover of Ayu in JELLY May issue. There's a page about her interview. I hope there will be a translation on it for us to read. Ayu is so cute in this! And in pink of cos!! Anyway, I've also seen scans of Party Queen booklet. This time no doubt Ayu shows a lot of skin. Somehow I feel Ayu isn't that classy anymore. I dun want her to be like this. I dun find this nice and pretty at all. Neither does it make me feel that Ayu is sexy in the bikini. The whole photoshoot makes me feel this work is kinda trashy. (T ^ T) I know probably they done this in purpose to show the 'lonely Party Queen', but still, it can be better!! And Ayu need not put her leg on the table. That really looks unglam. lol.

I'm really missing great work from songs to pvs to photoshoots like MY STORY. I can't help but to relate to this but really, it's more classy and pretty n totally suits our Ayu!! Party Queen is still quite a far cry from it.

I dun know if I will change my mind if I got the album in my hands but I'm kinda sure I won't. I never like the covers until now. I just hope Ayu dun show her sadness or loneliness in this way. And that she gets over with her divorce soon. She definitely can lead a great life on her own!! She's got us forever~~!!!

Night dreams

I've just changed the layout of my blog. Nothing much that I can do now since it's so late at night and I've spent my time watching the latest pvs of Ayu and Namie. Anyway I love Ayu's line for "Change is very nice, But it doesn't mean losing yourself" one song [oh dear I forgot which is it!] To me, my line will be 'Change is good if only you are changing for the better'. Dunno if anyone will agree with me? haha.

Ar...I'm starting to feel tired now but I have been taking afternoon naps so it's quite bad that I'm not adjusting my sleeping time to normal. lol.  Anyway, now's the middle of the month and pretty soon in a blink of eye there will be exams and then is moving on to working life. I can't believe it. I think most of the time I dun even let myself think about it, so that I won't feel so scared. But the day will come anyway. Somehow I just wanna hide my feelings and throw it aside, and just concentrate on what I'm supposed to do now.

But I dun wanna feel unprepared for anything!! =(

I have been having strange dreams at night, most nonsensical and random ones. I wonder if it is cos of studying n watching tv before sleep, cos my brain is still working at that time. Sometimes I do take a long time to sleep but I always thought that so long as I'm on the bed I'm gonna fall asleep in no time! haha.

I just find that most dreams are usually opposite of reality, but there are some dreams that can be so true eh? Dun u think dreams are such weird things? I can never understand it. Sometimes I dun wanna sleep is because I scared of dreaming. Do I sound funny now? lol. Because most of my dreams seem to be showing that I have anxiety, unsecured feeling in which I dun know if it's really true for me. Well well, u see, cos I dreamt a few times already that I'm taking the exams, and I'm pretty panic. Before this there was a dream where I failed the exams, and I even see the score! And reality is that the score is just 1 mark lesser. Gosh. Why so accurate? Maybe cos I've expected the outcome already so I dreamt of it but so happens that the dream is just before the result release. Why so coincident? T_T

So after this followed by many other exam dreams mean I have low self confidence n a worryer? I read the dream dictionary that says it's cos of fear that I'm unable to meet others' expectations. That I agree. But the part where 'people who have such dreams are unlikely to fail a test in real life' does not apply to me. lol. Ok, saying this point, I realised that my exams/results dreams have been quite accurate in real life!! I dun think that's good. I dun wanna 'know' the result before I receive it. I dun even wanna care! cos I dun wanna feel so anxious and panic. But in the end there is nothing I can do when the dream just come.

Why can't we put an end to dreams? Seriously speaking, I have more sad, horrible dreams than happy ones.  It's always been like this since young. I dun have sleep problems but i dun like to dream anymore. I just hope the older I get, the lesser dreams I get and more quality sleep. Otherwise more dreams of numbers for lottery please. hahaa.

Ayu in Scawaii interview April

Oh great now there's quite a lot of new updates of Ayu's new album cos it's gonna be released next week!! Whee~!! And now there's translation for Ayu's SCawaii issue on Party Queen album! I love such interviews for new songs/albums especially. I used to buy magazines that has Ayu on cover even if they just put a picture of her album as the cover, but that is so wrong!!! Should buy those with covers of Ayu that she did exclusive for the issue!! haha. Now I sounded so silly. But it's really better to have Ayu interviews along with it. of cos, this is why we are buying the magazine!!

Anyway, some quotes from her interview:

"To summarize it, it's about the image I have of myself in society"

I remember reading somewhere that Ayu says she isn't good at partying or that she doesn't party that often. Well, but I can't believe she sees herself that way even though I thought she is at first! haha. I thought she might want to label herself as something-Queen like Music Queen or Doggies Queen. hahaha. That sounds really silly..

In fact, most of her song titles doesn't seem very Ayu-ish to me. Somehow reminds me those in Rock 'n' Roll Circus. Well, we have seen some changes in Ayu over the years and although I may not like it tat much but as long as Ayu doesn't go too overboard I'm okay with it. But reading those that talks about how sad she written her songs, I'm can't help feeling the same too. Ayu always wrote so deeply. I can always feel from her songs. Mentioning about her divorce pains me somehow. Sometimes things just dun work out. I'm only wondering why she wants to change for her marriage. How about Mannie? It sounded as if Ayu was saying it's her fault..I dun like this. But of cos, it's between the couple and we can't meddle with it. I'm just so upset for her.

Anyway, I'm happy that there are song previews available in her official website!! I'm already loving NaNaNa! And the pv looks exciting with Ayu dancing and the camera movements!  I'm sure this will be an exciting album for me!! I'm left to wonder now whether sg will import the limited box version here. But the chances aren't high.


"By itself, this album is an answer from the person I am now, that is what it's trying to say."


I would love to know what Ayu's answer is now!! Album please wait for me!!

Instinct; self doubt

why why why.. I know I sometimes have the feeling, the instinct that what's gonna happen or be like but I just dun trust myself! And yet it really happens! Not just once or twice but happens to me many times. Then I can't stop blaming myself for not believing in myself. Argh........!!!!

Well I know I choose not to most of the time because I'm so afraid I'm wrong. I'm scared to make mistakes. I dunno why until now I'm still like tat. Afraid to do this, afraid to do that. And afraid that I'll make mistakes, like I can't afford to. Maybe I'm just someone who is not brave enough. Now come to think of it, I really hate it!! cos if I dun believe in myself, how can I believe in others right??? Why am I doubting myself? Why can't I be brave enough to make mistakes, or maybe it won't be a mistake. Why can't I just face it? I have so many stupid questions on myself and yet I can't answer. All I know is to envy people who knows themselves well and dare to strive. yeah right now I feel like a coward thinking about what I can do for myself. (¬_¬)

But there's one thing I do know of myself: that I can't accept failure! I think that should be the most fundamental reason. I can't see myself starting all over again for something I've failed to do. I dun want to waste any precious time. I want to be on the safe side. So I'd rather not trust myself. Come to think of this, is this a stupid analogy?

alright, maybe I dun even know what I'm saying. (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`)


Anyway, I was reading this article about Kuu. And she sort of give me an encouragement on having the courage to do things and believe in myself most importantly!

"Don’t be swayed by people’s opinions. Cherish your family, friends and lover and you will find your true self.”

This one touched my heart totally~ "You need to believe in yourself and never give up in order to make your dreams come true."

And her policy is "To continue to be unique"


It's good to have one's policy. I haven't thought of mine yet!! Although I have quite a lot of principles that I follow. Maybe I should start with being able to believe and be honest with myself. Never regret!! 


Thanks Koda, U make me wanna find my courage back. ( T_T)＼(^-^ )

Some Ayu updates 2

oh man, Ayu has got the most gorgeous nails ever!!

I dun think I can stop posting them so long as she posted them in twitter! So pretty~~ and more of ur doggies picts please!!

Ayu should make a pv for Like a doll cos she really looks like one here! I wonder what photoshoot is this for??


Ok, and enough of me not liking the Party Queen covers. It's still Ayu's stuff so I shall post it anyway. Somehow I just dun get why Ayu did such covers as it doesn't seem to fit the 'partying' theme of being a Party Queen. lol. Well, I've read the tweets at Ayu's page so there we can understand a bit better.

Kll_: This lonely queen, playing hard at parties and getting so drunk she doesn’t remember who she is anymore. Should she reset her feelings?
ayu_19980408: She is so busy with everything that it’s all a mess, but she’s really trying to hide her wounds. That is what I see.


MADMishi_Ghost: Aw :( yes she does look lonely..
ayu_19980408: ‘Freedom’ thats what she most wanted 2 but its never gonna happen I THINK

Did Ayu just say that she messed up her life?? I know Ayu is someone who loves freedom a lot. Didn't she have it? Well we can see that she's alone most of the time and usually would hang out with her staff members. So she's lonely most of the time I guess. I just hope she dun hide too much of her feelings. Seeing this already made me feel sad for her.

sbnayu: But I guess queen has to be lonely, right?
ayu_19980408: Right. Also i think she’s still in the cage same as Duty…or went back?


ayufansouri: I see. Now I understand why the jacket photos are so sexy. She’s laying her heart open to us, but she’s covering up with a pleasurable and fun image so we can’t see the wounds? (((・・;)
ayu_19980408: (＾ｰ^)ノ☆


No wonder the leopard prints on the cover right!! Is cos she felt the same way as the Duty era! Ayu now makes me think a lot! Duty really seem sort of lonely and another side of Ayu, something like that I guess.

This is the cover I like best so far, minus the covers for concert DVD. I think this felt more like a Queen as she's enjoying her drink. haha. The '13th album' stamp along with the barcode seemed unnecessary isn't it? Ayu's hair colour looks good! and she's wearing the red band always!~

Maybe what the 'partying' thing is with the colours→ loud and wild leopard prints! That's all?

Ayu :This Feb

Posting some of my fav Ayu pictures!!

I love Ayu's nails!! I think this pattern of nail art is very sweet looking!! Suits her well! Very pretty indeed!

And there there, Ayu's phone casing. Dead Gorgeous pretty! So pink!! And the Hello Kitty! Wonder how are u gonna carry it around. Won't it be very heavy and difficult to hold in ur hands?

Anyway, I dun like the cover and photoshoot Ayu did for Vivi. It looked strange to me. And her lips!! I dun like to see her with some guys for photoshoots. Doesn't quite match isn't it?

Lands of Eden photoshoot so far is awesome!! New ones are here: 

Pretty~ But in any case, can see that she's revealing a lot of skin these days. Not jus in Vivi, so is for the latest Party Queen covers! The CD+DVD+DVD is really surprising and really stunned me quite a lot, cos that is not Ayu's style! The other versions covers are ok.. it's really the pose that bothers me. Is she turning Kuu-ish? lol. Had quite a good time tweeting about this. It seems that most of us fans are not happy with it. Hope Ayu dun work with Leslie anymore ok?? I really dun wish to see any more of those type of covers. Ayu is a dead gorgeous queen without needing to do such poses ok!!! In fact I was hoping that Party Queen covers would be like lots of pink and Ayu dressed up as pretty classic princess. Ar~~ something like this that she has tweeted:

looks really like a doll!!  Did she dye her hair pink??

Anyway, since it's called Party Queen, can it be like she's dressed up very classy like a queen and many people around serving her? Something like European style would be great!! But in the end, it's not like what i think it'll turn out to be. Arggh!!!

I dunno if it was wrong of my part to think so much and expect so much from Ayu. but her covers have turned out not as nice as before.. I think Secret was ok. From GUILTY onwards, the covers are not that amazing or pretty imo. ar... wat else can I say. I wonder if the divorce have affected her so much until like that. oh yeah, I still can't help it. I can't get this off my mind.. I dun like Party Queen covers so I dun feel like posting them here. so yeah, wat a surprise for me this time, Ayu, on the additional day of the year, 29th Feb. O_O