Loving myself~

Michelle Phan is being ever so inspiring and make me feel so comforted after watching it. Glad that there's another intimate talk again. ヽ(・∀・)ノ



I love the deep questions that she came up with in asking yourself [including to look at yourself in the mirror ^_^;]

Am I happy? Am I in the right relationship? Is this where I want to be in life? Am I doing what I love? Do I feel loved? Am I loving myself?

The key thing is really to maintain positive thoughts. I totally agree. =)

I'm beginning to be more sure of myself recently, and able to have the answers to those questions for myself. I'm glad that now I can be able to think clearly, and develop myself more and not wasting time. Because I'm able to have a direction now, I'm no longer lost. And it also comes from within, to know what you wanna do in life. I guess it's really important to take some time out to think about your life and future. I've always wanted a place where I belong, know where I stand, and how important I am to everyone. It feels so good now that I've got the answers.

And so, I'm loving myself more now. I truly happy. （＾∇＾）

Self-love is important. If you wanna build self-confidence, it really comes from inside. It's like planting a seed.

You can change the way you look at things. Because the things that you look at, will change. Doing positive things will have a positive reaction on others.

It's also through time that I realised I have influence on the people around me too. I didn't think that I was good in any way to have an positive impact on others. What am I capable of? What can I do for others? But the thing is, little actions do mean a lot. Every single move and things that I've said are actually sinking into their minds. One day, I can see it in them. And I feel so comforted when I know about it.

Life is too short to be negative. And yes, I have been exuding positive energy lately. (☆∀☆)

I'm glad that I can make the people around me happy. I do have the power. (*'▽'*)♪ I shouldn't belittle myself anymore.

I'm pretty sure, I'm being loved. ♥


"There's gonna be someone out there, that loves you, for you" ~Mish.

Thank you, Michelle. Thanks so much~! ^_^

5th lyric release - 旋風

My latest work written just this month, and also cos I was still into Buck-Tick's songs. And even more coincident that my favourite anime Kamisama hajimemashita was showing the Ferris wheel which was mentioned in my favourite Buck-Tick song Rasen mushi. [I really don't know which is the right title, but let's just called it like that]  Since it happened at such a right time, I really got so inspired and I think all the more I should release this song cos I just have the feels for it! I really feel that I should come up with a song similar to Rasen mushi.

My song is written to have some mysterious feels. I hope it can be shown clearly. =)

[Inspired by BUCK-TICK 螺旋 虫]

旋風 (せんぷう)
Paper windmill that showed up to me
spinning round and round till my dreams believe me

Feeling the breeze around while being swept away
Will it turn things over, while I'm running in circles too?

Darkness lurking behind the shadows
speaks ill of my thoughts
If I'm destroyed,
probably I'll laugh it away

*Consumed by the colours in the kaleidoscope
my heart races to the other end
I will still smile,
even if my world crumbles to nothing

Whispers are confusing me, until silence creeps in
With half-heartedness, dreams came to a stop

Darkness lurking behind the shadows
overtaking my thoughts
If I'm hallucinating,
probably I'll laugh it away

*Consumed by the colours in the kaleidoscope
my heart races to the other end
I will still smile,
even if my world crumbles to nothing

The wonderland I'm living in... dreams believing me...

~~~~~
Let's say this reminds you of Kagrra's Uzu too? Cos of the paper windmill.

I don't know how, but a Ferris wheel song made me wanna write about paper windmill instead. lol. And I suddenly got reminded of Kagrra! （≧∇≦）
 
Probably pure coincidence does exist in this world.

Because it's due to fate.

~Yuuka

My Anime & Drama list ~ April 2015

I supposed it's about time to draw up a list of all amimes and dramas that I've watched this far although April isn't over yet. lol (^.^)

I didn't create a post for some though, cos I find there is nothing much about the storyline I can further talk about. But well, I will briefly talk about them for some note keeping sake, since I don't have a power brain to remember what I've watched. haha. Here goes:

Anime completed till April 2015:
01. Mokke
02. Myself; Yourself
03. Kotoura-san
04. Kobato.
05. Wolf Girl and Black Prince オオカミ少女と黒王子 → a comedy anime that makes you cry more than laugh imo. May seem like typical love story but still a nice one! Although at times I think Erika is being too stubborn and desperate to keep sticking to Kyouya for what he has done to her. To me, not an ideal romance that I wished to happen. lol.

06. Amnesia アムネシア OVA → Not actually interested in OVA but was kinda missing this anime story suddenly. lol. But really this OVA isn't quite nice/worth to watch imo cos it makes you confused instead. The story seem complicated when you first watched it. I remember I have to read the story plot to get what's going on. And so, it's still better to watch the full anime so you can understand what's going on after all. lol. 

07. Baka and test バカとテストと召喚獣 Season 1 and 2 and OVA → This anime is too cute with the avatars [summoned beings]!! (*'▽'*) Well I really like their storyline about school and academics cos it's so interesting that there's this thing called avatars that they can use for 'battle'. It's like a mini version of yourself! And the way the speak and fight is tooooo cute for me!! I realised I simply like this type of anime with some fighting going on. Reminds me of Yu-Gi-Oh! I watched on tv long long ago. But oh, I'm not gonna continue it. [Can't even remember where have I watched until and what's the story about. lol]

Anyway, the best part I like is in episode 4 in Season 2 where their avatars reveal their secrets!

Too cute for words. lol. (//∇//) I hope they have another season of fun again. (^ε^)-☆

08. Gekkan Shōjo Nozaki-kun 月刊少女野崎くん anime and 6 episode-OVA → This comedy is really great as recommended by my friend! Really loads of laughs for me. But the ending stunned me so I wasn't that satisfied with it. It could have end better, and not make Nozaki such a dumb guy. How could a romance shoujo manga artist not feel that a girl likes him. Argh argh. Anyway, I hope there is a Season 2. This story has the potential for more. lol.

09. Kamisama hajimemashita Season 1

Drama completed till April 2015:
01. Otomen
02. Yamada-kun to 7-nin no majo 山田くんと７人の魔女 → A comedy drama that I don't feel it's as good as Otomen since not all the episodes made me laugh. The funniest would be episode 5. I wouldn't say this is my favourite drama cos the story by itself isn't something interesting to me. This show is all about kissing here and there so that the witches could use their powers, but many of those witches don't know they are witches! Just too much kissing mainly so not that to my liking. lol. The only phrase I like from here is "The way you lived tomorrow makes your past change" by Yamada-kun.

Well, somehow I don't even know why I'm watching this just cos my friend asked me too. Maybe cos I just wanna try to watch another drama at that time. lol.

~~~~~

Anime completed previously [past 2 years]:
01. *Nichijou - ending not seen yet
02. Hyouka
03. Amnesia
04. *Rozen Maiden 2013 - ending not seen yet
05. Another
06. Requiem from the Darkness

It kinda irks me why I can't get to watch the ending for some animes. lol. Why aren't all the episodes available especially the ending!! And then I became lazy to find them again next time. *sweat* There are actually some animes that I have completed long long ago when I was attending school full time. [eg. Air, Kanon, Da Capo, Higurashi no Naku Koro ni etc] But I can't recall the list back then, nor the storyline anymore. So I shall just leave them at the back of my head since I couldn't come up anything for this post. (;´д｀)  My Japanese level was also at a much lower level at that time and most of the time I wasn't concentrating on what the characters are talking about. lol. Kinda wasted but listening is really skill I have to pick up well now. Hehe.

Anime gave up/stopped halfway:
01. Tokyo Ghoul 東京喰種 → Sudden no interest in anything gore and bloody.
02. Shiki 屍鬼 → Was watching till episode 4, but then suddenly the uploader's vids are all gone and I couldn't continue anymore. =(
03. D.Gray-man  → Lost interest in watching since the story seemed so long and gets boring. -_-

Pending/Recommended:
01. Nurarihyon no Mago
02. Psycho-Pass
03. Saenai Heroine no Sodatekata
04. Bokura wa Minna Kawaisou
05. xxxholic
06. Uroborosu
07. *Kamisama hajimemashita Season 2!!!

I wonder if my pending list seems long or should I even try to go back to those that I've stopped halfway through. lol.

Feels satisfied too that I've managed to watch 9 animes + 2 dramas which is a project I decided earlier on this year. I'm glad I really did it this much. Wonder if this amount is considered a lot or just okay in a matter of 4 months? Well I enjoyed a lot so as to pass time and learn Japanese. And since I like to write, I feel good able to write somewhat like a review about them just like this post. (*⌒0⌒)♪


So yeah, I'd probably clear the pending list above. Or if my mood leads me to discover more animes. xD

Let's see! (^_-)-☆

Anime Kamisama hajimemashita 神様はじめました

One awesome anime I've discovered in a short while and completed Season 1 and OVA in a matter of 2 days! lol.

Yeah, and again this is also a romance comedy and I just love how the story flows nicely. I'm not totally in for supernatural/fantasy anime but this one isn't one that I'll drag watching at all! I got so hooked with this anime and I should be watching the 2nd Season too since it has just ended. Oh well, but because I have to prioritize my time now I have to put it aside at the moment. I'm certainly itching to see how the story goes further!  ヾ(*´∀｀*)ﾉ

I love these 3 characters~~ ♥

Ferris wheel! I got reminded of Buck-Tick's song Rasen mushi [or Rasen muchuu?] that I find this is not just romantic and mysterious cos of the song. lol!


I guess most people love Tomoe. He's really a cute and gentle fox yokai. Aww~~~

The best part ever [in the OVA] is when Tomoe says "If you could everything by yourself, I wouldn't have a reason to exist."

Yes, so we shouldn't push ourselves too hard for everything, right?

I just love how he cares for Nanami. ♥♥♥

I love those cute faces!!

Mizuki is such a nice looking white snake too!! (*^◯^*) ♡

This kimono is very beautiful!! I'm now itching to get a kimono too after seeing this. The ending to this anime is certainly very lovely. I would say it's the best I've seen so far. ♥

They 'seal' the contract again [kiss] for 20 seconds! Best scene ever~!

A love story between a human and a yokai.. *heart melted*

That said, I will watch the 2nd season with such eagerness too!


Kamisama hajimemashita storyline @ wikipedia

Maro used to lead a lavish life with Ayu

I'm annoyed.

Still annoyed that this is happening. ⋋_⋌

2 years ago I saw that picture and now it has to appear again. (-_-)

I mentioned about that jerk before when I saw in the news back then. → 1) Irritating Maro news 2) And so Ayu broke up with Maro... 


Anyway, the news this time is that Maro wants to be a politician. He wants to strengthen Japanese culture and let more children learn dancing.

Wait. He is confusing me. So he wants to be a politician and a singer? I don't think he can do both, AT ALL. (¬_¬)

During those days, Maro and Ayu are always together. They took the first class cabin, went to Hawaii, Paris, Los Angeles etc drinking high graded red wine.. The life they had everyday is really happy.

And because he has enjoyed that kind of lavish life with Ayu, it made him realized that money and status isn't everything. Hmm.. that's quite true. But aren't you afraid of being back to eating grass again? (¬_¬)


Now this man is promoting his new song. But I don't think his singing career has any good results till now.  [#Edit: One more news]

I just hate to see Ayu's name beside his in the news headline. Stop using Ayu to gain attention as a way to promote your song!!  Your voice is so horrible, so please don't go hurt anyone's ears anymore. Oh gosh, I made the mistake of doing so to my ears because I feel the need to know how bad is his singing. BIG MISTAKE.


And yes, there are probably more than enough grass for you to continue eating.

Please go ahead. Enjoy it.


I'm just so regretful I hurt my ears just to post this. Seemingly voice out my anger on behalf of Ayu and Ayu fans.


L.O.L. 

Let him be out of our life from now on!  (¯―¯)

Things that I got ~March '15

Finally I'm making myself clear the old pictures I have in my phone on the skincare products that I have some time ago. lol. This one was actually last year's! I got some samples from my friends, while the T & U strip and clear patch are the only ones that I bought. I realised I hate the smell of Witch hazel, it really stinks to me! Argh. The clear patch is really sticky but I'm not sure why it isn't working as well as the previous one I used. So these 2 products from this brand isn't something that I will repurchase then. Their makeup remover wipes is probably the only thing that is okay for me. (x_x)

The problem of having too much samples is that I'll ended up chucking them one side and not use them for a long time cos it's not nice to open the packet halfway and keep, since I probably can't finish all of it at one go. So they are still.....there. ╭( ๐_๐)╮

I drank this Gabu Gabu in March when I got this in Jan at a friend's house. Lol I dragged and tried it 2 months later. Oh well, in fact I don't feel like talking about it since I don't like it at all! It tasted far too sweet!! Not the ice cream soda that I've drank before [from other brands]. Probably it has too much ice cream taste idk, it just doesn't taste the way I thought it should have. So not something I would buy. >_< I know this sounds bad of me to say that since I got from a friend. But then, I guess I have different taste from most people. I'll just not let her know I don't like it. lol. 

A little new year gift I got from another friend. The chocolate is good of course, but the perfume... (-｡-; I don't like the smell of it. Lucky they are just samples. But I guess perfume is something really personal, so I won't buy perfume as a gift for someone? Oops I think I have bought for this friend before. I mean, I wouldn't want to receive it as a present. lol. Cos I'm just too picky and I have a sensitive nose. I want a perfume that definitely smells nice to me!! And my preference would be of flowery scent. (*^◯^*)✿

Anyway, just last week I got more masks just when I wanted more! I have yet to try the moisturizer though. The cucumber peel-off mask is pretty okay. I had fun peeling the layer from my skin. xD And cucumbers are my favourite! But recently I also bought a nose strip I forgot to take a pic with it here too. Oh gosh, I simply bought too much of those stuff intending to clear dirt from my face. lol.

I got this free Japanese mag from a company yesterday! With Kuu on cover! It would be better if it's Ayu cos it was Ayu's day on the 8th April. haha. But I didn't celebrate it though. It was just another ordinary day once again. My 12th anniversary for loving and supporting Ayu. I'm happy that I can made it this far. lol. I wasn't thinking how long can I be as a fan when I just started listening to Ayu. In fact I wasn't sure how things could go, that I went ahead and try to find all the CD stores and slowly collect as many Ayu CDs as I could. And also that I can be listening to other Jpop artistes when I didn't know any Japanese back then. Well, I'm glad how Ayu made me touch on the Japanese language and be so interested with everything Japanese. It all started with her. And so, I'm just truly grateful once again.

Yes, I want to say again that I'm proud to be an Ayu fan. I have gained so much throughout all the years. Definitely thankful to Ayu. （＾∇＾）♥


Anyway, next I hope it would be my purchases post!! I've wanted to do shopping since long ago, but haven't had the money to. But I hope I have got the time when I have the money. Why can't I have the best of both worlds? (-_-)


Well then, life is about being busy all the time. 

Another happy day again~ ^_^

I'm a confident dreamer~~

Yeah I'm so happy that Michelle Phan actually replied me last night when it was just a random thought that I have after watching her video. It was interesting for Michelle to use horoscopes as the idea for some fun and a little makeup tutorial. I like the temporary tattoo and the shoes they decorated them! It made me have a sudden urge to do that to my shoes too. It's cool that you can make them unique, and to receive compliments for such. (≧▽≦) Let's see if I'm able to do anything like that. haha.

And from now on, I'm gonna call myself a dreamer. hehe.  （＾∇＾）

I just made myself recall this post Swoozie replied my comment and even favourited my tweet while I'm blogging now. Yeah so coincidentally I was about to talk about the topic on self confidence, again. Lol.

I have been thinking lately, that I do need confidence and cos this is what most people expects out of me. While they have confidence in me, I don't really have the same amount that they have of me. Just how much confidence do I need to be okay? And how can I secure that?

But really, low confidence that I have in myself seems to spoil things for me. lol. It seems that most people wants me to appear like that so that they can rest assured of the things that they put me in charge with. Of course I am someone dependable and I keep my words. But just that I'm worried that if I'm not up to the job or at their expectations and letting the people around me disappointed is something I hate to happen. So that's why, I have been trying hard to see how can I change that. Most probably is my way of thinking then.

Well of course not that I wanna fake the confidence cos that's what they want out of me. I do need confidence so that I can perform well too. If I think I can't, most probably I really can't since I would be worrying so much already. [Stop the 'What if' questions!] I really can't deny myself, anything of myself cos this makes things worse isn't it?

And so, I have to be very sure of myself. That's what I've concluded that I should be after reading a little about self confidence. I guess the best way is to work hard and be knowledgeable [after all]. Of course, this also includes being a positive person. Not afraid of anything, not undervaluing your capabilities, and having the strong sense of belief in yourself.

Confident people has the power to influence people too. I always hope that I can attain that. The idea seems far, but the fact that I can inspire some of my friends is something I feel proud too. I didn't expect/think that I can have a positive impact on anyone, but since that happens, it feels really good. I feel so worthy. Lol.


Therefore I probably have to consistently tell myself that "I'm really a worthy person. I am talented and capable like what most people think of me."  (-^〇^-) Cos that would make me achieve and succeed in the things that I wanted to do.  Yeah, that's it! Stop thinking and worrying too much!!


Well then, I also hope that I can be in an environment where it forces me to be strong, and as a result be confident. It sounded kinda tough, but let's see if that could happen... Now I just need to focus on what I wanted to do. ＼＼\(۶•̀ᴗ•́)۶//／／


The only thing that I don't want is to let anyone down. That's all. 

Even Isshi's coach told me so, that Isshi won't be disappointed in me.

And he won't because he knows that I will work hard. =)

Cheesie comment, birthday

It was one of my favourite inspirational blogger's birthday on 2nd April. I went to comment on Cheesie's blog since I've always been a passive reader and have not comment in a very long time. I love her blog content mostly featuring Japanese food and lovely places. I love to see how she updates so often despite being a mum. And of course, her sense of humour is really good too. xD

I'm glad that my message get across to her. I think I should probably leave more comments about my thoughts and not be a silent reader most of the time. It's good to let the person know how great an impact he/she has on you, and also to make them happy for what they've done so that they'll continue doing well. I'm also glad at some point I do leave message to people I appreciate and can be able to befriend them. At least they would know that there's people like me who is sincerely grateful and looking forward to their efforts? If it were me, I would also love to receive comments on how my lyric/translation work is and improve in some way. lol.

Speaking of birthdays, yes I'm having the same thoughts as Cheesie. Not that I can't be bothered about it, I just don't mind that there's no celebration going on. It's probably much better to be happy every single day of your life rather than just a day out of 365 days in the year. Probably it's a day when you can feel like a queen, you can have many wishes, you can receive lots of presents, you can have the attention for the entire day, you feel that you are the most important person in the world at this time....

But it doesn't matter to me anymore.

I'd rather be thankful and be loved at any time. I don't need all that simply on a particular day. I want to be satisfied with my life just as it is. I don't want to be disappointed if the above things did not happened on my birthday itself. Whatever for, right? Why should I only look forward to that day? Why should I restrict myself to only have a day of happiness? lol.

Maybe I've gotten older and wiser too. (^_^;) I just don't mind that it's a day like any other ordinary day, even if no one wishes me. I could have gotten a cake for myself and eat it like I want to. xD I don't need pin on hopes on anyone to treat me nicely on that day itself. I can also love myself and 'celebrate' it in a way I like. I can pamper myself just like any other time. Or maybe just be happy with the way it is, whether I have school or work. Laugh or cry for whatever happens..

It's really better this way. Because this made me feel so much relieved now. I don't need to fret over it anymore. And the best moments that happened in my life don't fall on my birthday anyway. lol.  ♪～(´ε｀　)

So this year... I shall not remind myself of that day anymore I hope. Hahaha. (≧▽≦)

~~~~~
I've recently done Michelle Phan's Survey in which I'm also glad that she created it and wanna listen to us! Well for me I would love to see her continue what she does best in makeup tutorials and also some inspirational videos like Pillow talk. Oh, I also wanna see her doing tutorials in drawing anime characters since she's really good at drawing. That would be the best!

Oh yes, and I'm glad that she released a makeup book quite some time ago. But I'm currently kinda tight to spend on it now. ~$35 for a book! Everytime I passed by the book store I just forgot I could buy it when there's discounts going on. Alright, never mind. I will get my hands on it someday. haha.


I will try to be more active and hardworking too~ （・□・；）

I hate April 1st!

Why I HATE April 1st?  Besides the fact that it's April fool's day, oh yeah and most probably it's cos of that day which last year I think it was the biggest joke I had in my life. I'll never forget the torture that I've been through and how much struggle am I getting. It was certainly a time I had so much stress at once, and a whole lot of disappointment I can't accept and fathom why. (,_,)

And also my Kagrra, who filmed a video for 四月一日 Shigatsu tsuitachi but to have it appeared for a few seconds in the drama was just atrocious. It's totally unfair and a waste of time and effort for everyone. I don't get why they're doing that. The song is great, but everything thing else just isn't!


Now come to think of it, nothing is nice about this day except for the song. How and why is Kagrra, able to come up with such a happy song for such a day!! Should I be saying that this is what Kagrra, and isshi is? To be positive despite such a time?

So much of my thinking. lol.


I still hate this day though. It's a time where I don't want to think about anything for a moment. And probably to force myself to be happy on this day and trying hard to forget how cruel life can be sometimes.

And maybe it's only just Kagrra's song that can brighten my day again.



But really, I don't like it as much as 七月七日 Nanagatsu nanoka. July's a better month too.


I really wish I can forget everything and have a restart...tell me which is harder? To carry on or to restart?

I just hope today would be a bright day for me to smile again.