Kagrra, 京～古の扉が今、、、～Miyako ~Inishie no Tobira ga Ima...～ Live Year 2004

Watching a Kagrra, live when I'm feeling unwell yesterday. lol~ It does have the effect of making me feel better!

Tracklist:
Opening - 京 Miyako
01. 百鬼夜行 Hyakki yakou
02. 恋綴魂 Kotodama
03. 鵺の哭く頃 Nue no Naku koro♥
Backstage
04. 源平闘戰譚 Genpei Tousentan
05. Isshi solo - 京～古の扉が今、、、～ Miyako～Inishie no Tobira ga Ima...～♥
Backstage
06. 奇祭 Kisai
07. 神謌 Kami Uta
08. 華 Hana♥
09. 愁 Urei
Encore:
10. 徒然謌 Tsurezure uta
11. 桜舞い散るあの丘で Sakura Maichiru Ano oka de
Ending - 徒然謌 Tsurezure uta


I love the opening in this live the most! The music at the video of all those Japanese poetry words. A very beautiful relaxing feeling~~

One thing I don't really like is that the camera switches way too fast and move too much! I'm trying really hard this time to capture some pictures. I think this one of Akiya is a little funny. xD

Shin's screams sounded weird at Hyakki yakou. And I'm really not used to looking Akiya with long hair. Haha.


All the backstage part are shown in black and white in which I don't really like. Makes me think that they're all wearing black clothes. lol.

I like how Isshi comes up with his own hand movements to Nue no Naku koro. Which is why I like this song in this live.  ^_^

Isshi's eyes ヾ(*´∀｀*)ﾉ

It's really beautiful~~ When isshi is humming at the end of the song, I feel that he is with me... His voice really gives me the comfort. ^.^

I like that isshi has his nails beautifully done for this concert. Very nice pose~!  (灬ºωº灬)♡

I'm actually looking at Isshi's pants for that word but not at Nao though. Hahahaha. xD

Alright, I still made myself capture Nao instead of just isshi this time. And since it was Nao's birthday yesterday. I took quite some time just to capture this very shot!! Please applaud me. Lol.

Yeah nice shot! Finally I'm not sorry to the rest of the members. =D

Hana is sang beautifully in this live but the video is made blurry with the effect of the flower so I'm not that happy my isshi's face is being blurred. lol. I think it's better in Urei cos they show some shots from the pv. They should probably just do that for all the songs with pvs. haha.

貴女が居て...

Omg isshi's hands look so smooth~!!! (ﾟOﾟ)

The best part of Sakura Maichiru Ano oka de is that fans get to sing as much as they can even though it's just two lines. But it's just full of feelings u don't even want the song to end....

Nao actually had a petal in his mouth!! Hahaha. But I saw him took it off.

The ending seems a bit too quiet, in which I don't expect of a concert. At least a 'Thank you' before u go off? Lol. Or maybe this was being cut off from the editor. But anyways, I mind about ending for anything else too. ^_^;


Now time to sleep with isshi-sama's voice with me..♪

Thinking way too much...?

Everytime when I see someone said to me "Everything happens for a reason." I'm not happy about this...at all. I can't help but to think "Oh yeah so what reason is it? But yet u couldn't tell me, nor help me either." (>__<)

It irks me because those are sad things that made me unable to comprehend why.. Especially those things that I don't wish to see it happen at all.

But of course, it's just life that we can't have happy things that happen all the time. Probably it's the unhappy ones that has to come so that we'll learn to cherish and become stronger.

But I still don't like it!!! And I can't stop thinking why! (x_x)

So now I  become someone with this crazy questioning mind, keep asking all sorts of questions all the time.

I read back my old diary and so was kinda surprised that I also used to state such a thing. "I believe all things happen for a reason."  Omg, I don't like it now.(;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`) Why did I write it that way?????

As u can see, because until now, there are some things that I still haven't yet got the reason as to why they happened.

Do I need to think so much? Why do I even need to bother about this? Time and again I've been wanting to tell myself to stop, and not care too much about every single thing in life. I've been so bothered by so many things and even some small matters cos I took them seriously they sort of worn me out. And now I kinda feel lack of energy. (ó﹏ò｡) I know I shouldn't, but somehow, the older I get, the more I think I have to look into many stuffs around me. I've already became a detail-oriented person and sensitive to many things, and so I can't ignore. And with the thought of 'Living life without regrets' I feel that I should definitely do more than I can as a person, no matter how small my efforts can be. So long as I don't let anyone down.


Well and because of that, I know, this feeling will never go away. It hasn't. I can stop thinking for a while, but it will still come back to me.


Sometimes is just that things progressed too fast I'm unable to catch up. And then I have to pause for a while to think how would I want to do again.


Surprisingly, when almost the same thing has to happen for the second time, I have to handle it somewhat the same and not to care too much. In fact, I'd probably be hurting myself instead.


Maybe the consistency of such a thought is due to me thinking for my lyric writing too. Maybe to a certain extent... Certainly I have lyrics where I managed to express some dark feelings but reading back them I feel the pain again.


Can I stop being an emotional person? (┯_┯)


Back to the top. ^ Maybe also, those who said that to me is make me feel better, since we're all sad. But it didn't. I feel worse for some reason. It's more like trying to come up with something to explain why certain unhappy things happened, but yet u aren't sure what is it either.



Human thoughts just puzzles me. I really wished it wasn't that complicated.


I'm still thinking way too much.  (｡-_-｡)



If only this world can be simpler enough, wouldn't that be better? 

Isshi's death impact on me [180813]

Somehow with so many things that has happened over the past year, I have heartfelt feelings on Isshi-sama in which I've always wanted to write about....

This is exactly what I wanted to talk about, about isshi's impact on me, but I ended up seeing this old entry of mine from year 2013 in the draft box, in which I didn't publish..I think at some point it must be that I was so sad when I talked about it and so I didn't dare to post it although this is what I've been feeling cos of Isshi. Of course right now I'm okay to be at this topic since I strongly feel that Isshi is my saviour and everything else now. It's him that I've found strength back again. It's definitely more than just blessing for me to think about him and listening to Kagrra, cos it always make me feel good and positive. I'll have the motivation now cos they serve as a reminder to me that I shall not repeat the same mistake for not being into, not doing the things I love and keep dragging, and then ended up regretting. And that is why...

my only thought now is to always have achievements in my life no matter how small it is [even by blogging about them or anything else] and to be more hardworking than ever. I will not let regret be in my life anymore, and work hard till I get the results I want. I won't stop to make the move of trying. No matter what the outcome is, face it and get myself back up again and keep moving! Never lag in anything I wanted to do. Go ahead with what my heart says. Believe in myself. Don't doubt anymore. Always hold on to the power within me and do something... Be strong. I'm sure Isshi is around me and he will see it! I'm sure he is already proud of me for passing my Japanese exam cos of him. There is never a day where I won't think about him at all... And this is what my life is. ♥


My old entry that is worth looking at for it to be posted finally, where my thoughts are of course still the same:

I have been posting quite frequently on Kagrra, compared to last year, but anyway I wonder if this year's total blog posts will exceed last year's? Cos I've got the urge to do as many things as I could. Since I've been thinking lots about Kagrra, and Isshi, this brought about the change in me. I still can remember the time where I know of the news of Kagrra,'s disbandment/demise, I felt so upset by it. Why is such a good band not want to be together anymore? I don't get it. And then news of Isshi's death came..I felt even sadder. I remember my old post of Nothing is forever.. I tried to make myself feel a bit positive by thinking Every ending means a new beginning in somewhere else. I really hope so...I hope Isshi does have a good beginning in heaven.

I ended my old post being quite positive with the smiley face but right now I have a sad face. ಥ_ಥ I can't help feeling so sad now that Isshi can never be making anymore beautiful music for us, not to mention Kagrra,. I have so many heartfelt feelings inside me. How much I've regretted not getting into Kagrra, enough in the past. I didn't do the things that I can do as a fan. Maybe my Japanese could have improved back then long ago. If I were to be more determined and more motivated, I could have achieved more. I could have been more active in the fan groups in the past while Kagrra, is singing. I could have understand them better. I could have.................

Why I have so many regrets.. And I don't know why either, all of a sudden this year I feel like this. But is also because Isshi's has gone, I know much better now that anything can happen...suddenly. Don't live life with regrets. Do whatever you want now. [I've always wanted to post as much about Kagrra,, be part of Kagrra, fan communities, improve my Japanese, do my origami, write stories/lyrics, etc] Now I'm planning well my time for everything I want to do as much as I could. I need to get it done! Not hesitate and drag anymore. I must give in my effort and not be daunted so easily.
Is because of Isshi that I've learnt now to live happily every single moment without regrets, and to give in all my best in whatever I do. I should have known this earlier right. I took so long to realize this. But I hope it's not too late...at least I did it.

Anyway, I was browsing the site that I saw the pv list. I looked at the members profile and noticed that there are quotes from each of them.

"Death is the end of the day..." -Shin
"I want eternal youth" - Nao
"Death is the beginning of eternity..." -Isshi
"Death is happiness" - Izumi
"Death is the end" - Akiya

I'm kinda shocked! All of them mentioned death except Nao?! Why almost all of them had the same thinking...on the topic of death? And Isshi is thinking that it's the beginning... Is he beginning somewhere happily?

I wouldn't wanna think about such topic on death anymore. I'll just believe he's in a better place watching over me. Sadness shall not come to me.

Be happy. That is the ultimate aim in life. And because isshi is saying 'yeah U should'! xD


I'm more than willing to be intoxicated by isshi. Because he's our powerful Oni. (⌒ー⌒)

Kagrra, Summer Festival Year 2004

This live us just too short with only 3 songs!! Well not in full songs anyway too. Lol. But still worth a blog post by me. =)



Tracklist:
01. 恋綴魂 Kotodama
02. 祀 Matsuri
03. 凛 Rin

I realised the Sensu is really big!~ It can cover the whole of isshi's face. Lol. I think it must be so fun and cool to wave the Sensu around with isshi. ｖ（＾＿＾）

Oh yes, to the song Kotodama~! In which has became the name for my band with Shua and Airi~!! I think I'm just so into the letter K cos of Kagrra,. even my blog name. Lol. I think those names that I chose with the letter K are just awesomely beautiful. (≧▽≦)

I simply love the red hair isshi here~~! (//∇//)

Best of all, never forget isshi-sama's smile~~! (^o^)☆

And I'm super glad I know what isshi's saying in this live. hahaha.


I love how everytime I listen to Kagrra, I feel calm and much better than anything else.  (^｡^)

New changes

It's a great day today~!! ^o^ Although I'm just at home and spent my whole morning busy texting and feeling anxious and trying to clean my room a little. Of course I wasn't feeling that lost like the past weeks. Just that I'm so afraid of not being able to pass my JLPT especially the listening section that made me worried so much!! I was trying to prepare to see the results in Feb but ended up knowing that it'll be released on the 29th Jan. lol. In the end seeing the word 合格 I was kinda worked up and teared to see such a great thing before my eyes!! (T_T)
I believe it was isshi-sama~~ He gave me the motivation and courage to take the exams in the first place. I wasn't even sure if I was able to do it, since it has been kinda tough to self-study for the past years. It was really amazing how I'm able to push myself forward with isshi-sama in mind...I can feel that he is giving me the strength to do what I want most.. and also to be brave. Well that said, my relationship wise it didn't turn out too bad or anything but it wasn't a very good outcome either. >_< But anyways, I have tried, and that is because I don't want any regrets anymore. So I tried without expecting anything although I should have known. lol. Well then, what done is done! And also, better to try and fail than not trying and not able to know the outcome?  That's what I came across too. =)

So to say, about new changes!! This time round this year, I have better aims! I've changed my blog name and twitter username at the start, and that is because I wanna make it more Japanese!! Yes, because I wanna make myself use more Japanese than last year! Kirameki●koi is the combination for Kagrra,'s album name and song name in which I love. I'll still let my tag Circusrocker remain since this blog was started with rock in mind. But one thing I find stupid is that I can't be able to search my entries with typing because of the name changes, and all the links I've put in my old entries are just....like 'gone'. Lol! Ahh~~ Whatever. My blog is still here anyway. Shall correct the links if I'm gonna look back at those old entries. hahaha.

Yes, and I also changed the banner! A picture of my top three favorites! But only Isshi and Ayu have the most impact and influence on me, Namie is just..... xD Oh yes, and I have bought this new lappy just few days ago which is so much better and easier for me to type!! Everything that comes with it is also way better than the old one which gets slower and slower each time I used it. And I was thinking it's just not worth it for repair. New com for a new start right?? I'm also into my new space and keep arranging and organising my stuffs until I feel right about them. I'm almost done!! Shall get new shelves too so that it's better than leaving everything on the floor.. Hoping to get all done before Chinese New Year! ^_^

Oh and one good thing! I've found back my stylus that I've been trying hard to search for some time! I was feeling empty without it for weeks!! I don't know why such a small single item can make me feel that way cos it wasn't that important a thing. Probably it has accompanied me for a long time, so when it's missing I felt empty? I'm so glad it appeared back to me while I was cleaning my room. I guess what's mine will come back to me after all? Because this isn't the first time that such a thing happened. I used to lost part of a key chain that a friend gave me which was really precious. I was feeling really heartache to lose it, when I'm someone who doesn't lose my stuffs easily. [although such things happened still.] And somehow it came back to me out of an unexpecting place. Lol. I was ever so thankful and glad and definitely keep it at a safe place than to use it since it was so precious. But this thing that happened really made me feel wow and this world is so full of hope! All is not lost!! Cos it won't be!! (⌒▽⌒)

So, I'm a positive person afterall? Many things taught me to be positive too!! (^_-)


Anyway, I haven't been doing much shopping for this month cos mainly due to my bad mood for the past weeks. Oh yeah, I keep mentioning how the past weeks of Jan didn't go on too good. lol. I somehow wondered how I've been through all those....sometimes it's probably just me thinking too much. Let's forget them all! =O
I bought ear cuffs which is my favorite of all time! The eyeshadow colours are really sweet and so I want to get it! And I'm really gonna run out of masks soon too! Lol~

Wait, I think I'm actually running out quite a bit of skincare products! I should focus on being pretty again and get more~~~!! xD


Oh great, these are some Japanese children strorybooks that my friend has lent me which looks good but I haven't been making myself read them all yet! Oops. Now I've got more reasons to finish up fast and return what I've owed!

Gonna buck up more alright!

More more reasons to be better, always~!  （＾∇＾）

Kagrra, Various Fireworks Tour Live Year 2006

Here comes this short concert video that I've watched last night that makes my mood sooo much better! I remembered watching this live tour some time ago [yeah and that was really a year ago lol] but have not blogged about it. Rewatching it not just brightens up my night to a good sleep, it certainly brings back some memories of watching it!! Now I'm even more super happy for the fact that I'm blogging about this on my new com ^_^ This new lappy is so much better and easy to type! New year new com to start with, right? Kagrra is definitely my life, my best medicine to anything that's troubling me for the past weeks! *sweats* Let me just focus on Kagrra, for now. Hahaha.

This scene just somehow looked so familiar I wonder is it also shown in Kagrra no Su episode. The pink shirt Nao is something that leaves me a deep impression somehow. lol. I like this live since they're in casual wear which makes this feel relaxing. =)



Tracklist:
01. 夢イズル地 Yume Izuru Chi
02. じゃじゃうま姫伝 Jajauma Kiden ♥
03. 戀 Koi
04. 幻影の貌 Genei no Katachi
05. 皐月 Satsuki
06. 逢魔ヶ刻 Oumaga Toki♥
07. 詠 Uta
08. 妖祭 Yousai
09. 奇祭 Kisai
10. し、み、め、ゆ、き、さ、あ Asaki yume mishi
11. 凛 Rin
12. 七月七日 Nanagatsu nanoka
13. 愁 Urei
Ending - 桜舞い散るあの丘で Sakura Maichiru ano Oka de [Acoustic version]

A little pity to see none of the songs sang in full. But I'll still enjoy it anyway. The opening is pretty nice to see those fireworks spinning!

I like Jajauma Kiden now that I've listened to it. I didn't listen much to this song before, but I think this song certainly suits a live performance since it brings out the rock feel to it. Oh, and time for some Isshi-sama pic spamming! xD

The best close-up I can ever capture~~ 

And I just want to say that I like isshi's pants a lot!! Lol.

Drum session by Izumi at the start of this song Oumaga Toki which is my current favourite now! This live made me LOVE this song when the music starts!! Flashing lights and isshi nodding-head-bowing style dance. Whatever shall I call it? Lol. And I think I saw Akiya did the same too but violently!! Hahahaha.

I definitely feel like doing the same whenever I hear this song. xD

Fantastic pose for Uta! Haha is actually isshi doing some dance again. So this song at the start there is this move to left, then to the right. Yeah, I remembered too that I like this song some time later cos Shua mentioned that he likes it. I certainly like it yeah!!

I love this isshi pose this reminds me of Miyako!

Trying to capture Isshi's face.. ^o^

Kisai is always such a fun song! But I'm wondering what is the phrase that the other members are shouting? I heard "That's You!"  But I supposed it wasn't so, cos it can't be in English right? lol.

Lovely scene of all fans with the Sensu with Isshi to Nanagatsu nanoka~~ !

Nice one to start off my 2015~


I love how watching lives makes me love a certain song. ♥

Yes Happy Strawberry year~~

Lol it's interesting to know from Sparrow-sama that this year is strawberry year because it's 1・5 [ichigo] !!

So let me have some ichigo for the start!!

Those weren't that sweet though. Lol.. Argh and strangely, once it's the new year of 2015, I didn't tweet anything on Kagrra's major debut date which falls on the 1st Jan. And till now I haven't yet posted anything about Kagrra! I haven't watch their vids either. *guilty* But of course, as usual I have been listening to their songs. They're my daily dose of music. Lol~ But really, the feeling of Kagrra, seems to go away suddenly when 2015 strikes. I wonder why! My love for them is not fading of course, but the feel of them somehow is drifting....

Then this means I have to write a song inspired by Kagrra soon!! The first lyric of 2015! Inspiration please come~~~ (>_<)


Anyway, the best gift to receive at the start...

It's a lucky charm~~! I'm so glad my fren got it for me in Japan. I've always wanted one but I didn't mentioned about it though. I'm so so so happy!! \(^o^)/

Some other gifts I got were tea!! So many tea bags! Pushing me to drink more tea to be healthy? haha. But somehow I'm not that fond of tea anymore. ^_^;

Let's just eat more strawberries then. xD