Maybe you didn't know...

Maybe you didn't know, Isshi-sama. I was touched by my own words to you. (T_T)

For the first time, I actually cried out of happiness. All my Kagrra friends love my lyric work to you..  I'm so touched by everyone, who gave me the assurance that I can do it.

For the first time, I felt that I finally did something nice and worthy for you. So, can you please appear in my dreams for once and tell me you've seen it and know about it?

U know I miss you a lot, and have been striving hard to be like you. Everyday I make myself motivated. I wanna do all sorts of things for your sake.

I really hope you've seen everything and all the happiness I have, surrounding me.

And I will continue to write more lyrics and even in Japanese to you. Please wait for my letter too.


I hope you're waiting for me in Japan. And say that you're really proud of me. =)


My tears that will flow will only be out of happiness from then on. I love you, my Isshi-sama.


Till we get to meet each other in the other worlds...

The most memorable date July 18th

[Continue from July 18th post on Year of Isshi.]

Once again, it's a touching thing to see Nao tweeting about Isshi-sama on his death anniversary.

Wonder if Nao is saying this: Today is my friend's death anniversary, I wonder if he's singing? Is it pouring? Alcohol...let's just drink it! (laughs) 
Everyone, while moving forward, Ikkun (Isshi-sama) will watch over us. 
Nao

→“Today is the death anniversary of my friend. I wonder if you’re still singing? I wonder if you’ll keep singing endlessly? Well… I’m drinking alcohol! (laugh) Please keep watching over everyone like before, Ikkun”　[English translation @ 鬼雀の音情]


This cloudy sky picture.....reminds me of the pic I've once took for isshi and wrote a little note to him.

But it was a bright day, and I'd rather take a picture of a bright sky because I want to feel Isshi-sama is giving me hope, happily and brightly at his Oni world.


Well, everytime when I looked at the sky, I just tend to have this sort of feeling. That he is there watching over me... like what Nao said.

It's also a natural tendency to look at the sky and think Isshi is there, right? (^-^)


The feeling of a little sad, nostalgic and missing someone so much....Wondering and wondering how's it like for him. Whether has he seen everything here? Has he known all about me? And my future?

Is he up there waiting for me too?  (,_,)

Argh so now, it's Nao's tweet that made me sad. lol. (^_^;)

But anyway, I had a really great time on that very Friday with a new friend I've made. And so coincident to meet my 2 other friends at the same place. I ended up reaching home and slept really late. Work has already made me tired and kinda headache, and to accumulate the lack of sleep from the past 4 days, I was almost at the verge of knocking out at night.

But, I still hang on. Cos every moment is really precious. And I was already so blessed to know many nice people around me. I must have the time to chat with my friends no matter what. I don't wanna end a day so easily. I don't want my life to be just work and sleep. So I'd rather be doing all sorts of things despite really being so tired rather than not be able to accomplish much. I need to end a day nicely and happily~ lol.

And I need to study and read and writing my lyrics especially. (●＾口＾●)

I CAN'T STOP ANYMORE!!

I will just do all I can...even when I have low energy. I won't give up. ╰(*´︶`*)╯

I will have the demon passion in me. xD


With isshi's strength, I won't be feeling sad anymore. I might tear, but it will be out of happiness...

Well, but I'm pretty an emotional person, so I have lots of feelings within me.

That again, is what makes me able to write lyrics that I will be so proud of, especially the ones for isshi.


I'm really now began to be more assured of myself.

I'm glad I've achieved this. (⌒ー⌒)ノ


And so, I will become better and better.


Thanks my loves♥

My first lyric release - 華言 Sending... ~To isshi~

Yeah, cheers to me for finally able to reach the 100th mark of my lyric writing!! (⌒▽⌒) And so to release one song as promised, and it'll be the song that I've written for isshi, although I've written several for him. He's my greatest inspiration now so I won't forget him, and can't help but to keep writing so much relating to isshi. xD I love how he inspires me. He's definitely the greatest man ever to me that I'll love and admire forever~＼(*⌒0⌒)♪

So to show the Japanese text first in which I got my friend to help me with the translation. The English would be the one I wrote originally.

I hope it doesn't look as though I've 'copied' from his lyrics. Some of his words gave me the inspiration to write like that. lol. I hope for Kagrra, fans reading this, U will all get the Isshi feeling that I wanna express too. Did you feel it? Can you see it's somewhat Kagrra,-like? I would love to know your opinions. （＾∇＾）

My first release and so I hope there'll be people who likes it. Especially Isshi-sama. If he were to see this... :

[Inspired by 悲文 and 案山子]

華言(かげん) Sending... ~To isshi~ 
また怪しい夢がきて、
まだ知らない未来に向かう記憶が映って
疑いで 期待で

でも お雲様、このまだ会ってない人はどこですか

風が戻って、希望を送ってきて
たとえこの待ってるものが薄れていっても
諦めたくはない

君に届く前にこの愛を丁寧にハンカチで包むよ
今守れるものはこれしか残されてないの

そして お星様 願いはいつ叶いますか?

お天気は晴れてきて またチャンスをくれて
時間も止めてくれて もう迷わないから

永久の信念の美しさに説得させて
もう書かれる悲しい言葉なんかない

たとえ何もこの温もりをもう一度連れてこられなくても
この宛先のない手紙は君に届くよ

A mysterious dream has come to me again
reflecting the memories towards the future untold
with uncertainty, with anticipation

But dear cloud, where is the person whom I've yet to meet

The wind returns, sending back my hope
Even if what I'm waiting for is fading, I don't want to give up

Wrapping up the love carefully with a handkerchief before sending it out to you
Is that the only thing left that I can protect now?

And dear star, when will my wish be fulfilled

The weather has changed for good, giving me a chance again
Even time will stop for me, because I won't hesitate

Persuaded by the beauty of timeless faith,
I will no longer have any sad words written

Even if nothing could bring back the warmth again,
I'll still send this unaddressed letter to you

~~~~~
I'm starting to tear now cos this is something I feel so proud of..That finally it gets done and I actually got the courage to post this. 

Thank you, my Isshi-sama. I will write more to you, and just as many as I can...so long as I live. 

And I love all my friends. Thank you so much, even for reading this. 

~Yuuka 

Year of Isshi, year of horse.

July 18th, Isshi's 3rd death anniversary this year...

I don't wanna feel all that sad again. But it'll always serve as a reminder to me. That what isshi has gave me throughout these years, throughout this time... and how much I have grown.

So, I feel good to think about this day. And all the more I wanna send my wishes to him. (^-^)

Although still a little sad, but I won't tear so easily anymore.

I might not be doing anything special this time like what I did last year, but I have some achievements from time to time. I just hope Isshi can see them. =)

It's totally great when I came to be so focused into Kagrra, this year 2014, with the link to the number 14 [Oni-isshi day, Kagrra,'s 14th anniversary], I've already regard this as isshi's year, but what's more is that I got to know that this year is also the year of horse, which is the year that isshi was born in.

IT'S JUST TOTALLY ISSHI'S YEAR RIGHT NOW.

I'm so glad things just happens. lol. Everything just has to fit in naturally. (⌒▽⌒)


It's just right too, that this month of July just 2 days ago is also my friend's birthday, someone whom I cherished a lot. And she's also born in the year of horse!! So I got her a horse plushie as a gift. (^o^)

But now it's no longer in my hands. Lol. I could have gotten another one for myself... I could have called it isshi but I guess not. xD I don't think isshi will like this? Having a fan to get a horse plushie to represent him. lol. Well, he's already in my heart and mind all the time, and I think a horse plushie looks too cute for our Oni isshi. IF that is what he thinks too, I hope =p I'd thought I should get something else instead, if I wanna let it represent him, although I'm not sure what it should be...yet. (^_^;)

At least, I've made someone happy...right?


I'm sure right now, our Oni is all well and powerful in his very own world, holding his mighty sword.

And I will just be like him, fighting towards my dream..

He sure knows about it!! I will always believe!  ( ˙︶˙ )

I'll be listening to Shirakuen once again. Or rather, all his Shiki project.


Till the day we'll get to meet...For the first and last time. 

My heart will always be with you, isshi-sama ♥

July 18th will be a day worth to reminisce about.  

With loves,
Yuuka

My short stories 01 - Uneasiness

Have been contemplating for a while on whether to post this short story of mine.

It wasn't anything special, but I feel that I have stories to tell... It might not be interesting, but I guess I could write something since I really wanna be a writer somehow. =D

And this I had wrote it in January, it started because I was into reading Isshi's stories. I feel I could do the same too. I wanna let this to keep me going too. Yeah, I won't ever stop pursuing my interest then on. (⌒ー⌒)


I wonder if anyone will like it? But for a start, this will be something from me that I'm gonna publish for the first time. I hope it's a good attempt. Boring it may be, but at least I did something right? Haha. Short stories seem quite fun after I had read Isshi's works. It made me feel it's easier to present something in a short and direct manner. For now, I guess it is easy to write about personal experiences. I hope this will also made me expand into writing fiction perhaps? And not just lyric writing. Oh yeah, this just reminded me to post my lyric work soon. lol.

So, please read if you would like to:

~~~~~
The ghostly encounter I had back in 2002.

It was an annual activity organized by our seniors. We went to a chalet at Sentosa for a 3 day-2 night stay.

We had activities during the day time, but there's also some free time left for us to rest. I remembered I was feeling kind of bored, and so I went with this friend of mine to the playground below, right in front of the chalet that we were staying. It was a sunny day. There isn't any wind at all, and so we chose to play the swing. But the air was so still that despite swinging, it's really too hot to bear with such a weather. Soon enough, we gave up and went back to chalet instead.

When it's night time, we've got nothing much to do again. One of our seniors joined me and my friend down to the playground for a chat. And since there's only 2 swings, me and friend occupied the same swing just like day time.

I was facing the other side at first, but it was completely dark with the bushes which seemed scary. I supposed there were some abandoned empty houses there too. Hence I think it's better for me to turn around facing the chalet. There, the air was really still just like day time too. Not a pleasant weather after all. I swung as usual, but something feels not right. There's actually wind coming and pushing me forward only when I swung. And I can actually swung a further distance even when I used the same amount of strength. It just was not quite possible.

'Hmm...this cannot be!' I thought to myself.

And so, I swung again, (wind blows) and stop.
Swung again, (wind blows) and stop.

I did it a few times while looking back at the dark bushes behind me, it really is strange. I thought I would feel some creepiness, but I didn't. I didn't have goosebumps at all too. Isn't this just too strange?

'Just why is it so windy only when I'm swinging?'

I know I was silly that I kept doing that to confirm that it was not my imagination, and that it must be those invisible things trying to play with the swing too. But I just don't wanna jump to conclusion too soon. While I'm doing so, my friend at the other swing was having so much fun – she swung up so high almost to the edge that I was worried that she could fall off! She even stand on the swing! I was really stunned since it's something that she can never do during day time. I watched her with uneasiness, but I didn't dare to say it at the point of time that it must be the ghosts' doings. So I left the swing, feeling that I had enough of this. My senior went to sit on it, but she didn't really swing much. And so I decided to be the one standing and chatting with them instead. While I see her swinging so high up that she'll hit me hard if I walked over...

Some time later when we're back to Singapore island, we were having a chat over the phone in our own home. Somehow it occurred to me that I should asked her about the incident.

“Don't you feel strange that you could swing so high up only at night?”
“Yeah, I know it must be those things. I could have guessed it too. But it was so fun! I have never swing so high before, so I'll just carry on playing. Haha.”

Somehow I couldn't believe what I'm hearing. Yes, I was impressed with her bravery, for I could not pretend nothing is around and carry on having fun, although it's uneasiness but not creepiness. And even though they didn't harm us. Even though I couldn't see them nor really feel them...

Maybe it's just my feelings that I don't wanna ignore.

-End-
~~~~~
I would never want to swing at night again.  (≧ロ≦)

And this story is really short. lol. 

Animes I'm currently watching

Have to make myself watch anime during the weekends whenever I have the time to. I need to make myself listen to more Japanese to let me learn Japanese better. lol. And since I have people around me who could speak so well, at least I hope I can listen well despite them speaking at such a fast speed. (^_^;)

Currently watching:
✦ Nurarihyon no Mago ぬらりひょんの孫 → As recommended by isshi-sama.
✦ Tokyo Ghoul 東京喰種-トーキョーグール- → As recommended by Ruki-san
✦ Psycho-Pass サイコパス → As recommended by my friend.

I guess it's the first time that I will catch up the latest anime! Haha. I would definitely not doubt those that are recommended by my favourite vocalists. ^_^

And sure, we so happened to have the same liking in such anime genres: Horror, dark fantasy, supernatural, mystery... Somewhat such similar genres. I like the storyline from all the animes I watching recently. They're so enjoyable!  (●＾口＾●)

Tokyo Ghoul really another bloody anime that I ended up watching. After Another. xD Have just watched this 1st episode along with Psycho pass.

I have no idea what ghouls are out there for.. Are they just monsters eating humans? And they have some power too?  I didn't expect eating a hamburger would be something so difficult that Kaneki ended up vomiting any food he ate. Lol.

This red eye thing is certainly interesting~ I don't think it's scary at all. =p


As for Psycho pass, it's an anime about crime which is interesting too. I heard it's about intelligence. Not something that I would choose to watch all along but it's so cool. lol.

It also has bloody scene for the 1st episode. And I think it might be better for me to watch them during the day time too. Don't wanna get sudden scares like I used to have for Requiem from the Darkness. Lol~

Alrights, pretty much the first time that I'm planning to watch a few at the same time. Hope I won't mix up the stories.

There goes my Sunday. haha. (╥╯θ╰╥) 

It's been a tiring week!!

Arrr~!!! Have never felt so tired despite getting at least 6 hours of sleep!! Just this Friday probably I'm feeling most tired. Slept for a few hours, awake and back again. Lol. It was also fun to have a stayover. I'm actually so thick-skinned enough to bother my friend. xD

Really, there are so many things that I wanna learn and do!! And so I have to cut down on my sleeping time. I'm someone who needs like about 10 hours of sleep per day so that I have enough energy and rest. But I don't want to just sleep whenever I got home after work. I don't wanna let a day go by like this. I have to do all the things that I like everyday! I wanna make every moment of my life meaningful! 

Therefore weekend sleep are so precious to me now. lol.

I might be really busy during the day time, but at least I get to do things and know more people. Everyone is quite nice and willing to help. I'm glad I'm in such a good environment. I cherish this so much!! Being occupied is better than being free [back then] which tends to make me think all sorts of things that will bring my mood down. And of cos, the people around also had affected me quite a lot.

It may be a little too relentless for me as a start now. But I was given this chance. I believe I would flourish one day. If others can do it, so can I!!  （＾∇＾）


And yes, I've bought more other MJCare masks! I have actually forgotten which masks I've bought previously. I'm glad I didn't get any repeated ones here, except for the Red ginseng in which I think it's worth to get it again. lol. And later when I got home, I realised I missed out getting Green tea flavoured one. And maybe something else too?? >_<

Weekend masking is also something precious to me now. Lol~


I remember how bad my skin condition was in May and June. I have also been eating a supplement as recommended and so my skin is all better now. At least no more of those huge zits. Lol. There's really an improvement! Although I still need to rely on my concealer. At least I don't look that bad like those times anymore. Haha.


So things have been going on good!! I have been in the mood of looking forward to more interesting things to come. Although soon, some colleagues will be leaving soon... but I also came to know a new colleague joining around the same time as me. So I always felt, as always, I'm not alone. ⁽ ◟(∗ ˊωˋ ∗)◞ ⁾

With much pleasure, I hope to know more great people too.

It's really a good start. (⌒‐⌒)

Kagrra, 雫 Shizuku -With a cause, as a result tour 2007- Live

Omg my memory is failing on me? Lol. I've actually watched this Shizuku tour long ago, when I just saw that I had commented on the video 7 months ago. (^_^;) No wonder I felt it's so familiar. I was planning to watch this concert some time soon, since it's pretty short [A digest]. It's so similar to Kakushin tour! Really reminds me of it. Hahaha. Just that at the beginning the members seem to be commenting on something. A little pity I wasn't that good at listening in Japanese to know what they're talking about. =/

Anyway, what I can say now is, that I'm pretty much gotten over with those times...and so I will just listen to all Kagrra, songs even at those late era. Shizuku album songs are lovely afterall. And how can I not remember how it has gave me the strength too. Oh yeah, I've also mentioned about this in the Kakushin tour post.

I should be happy. haha.



Tracklist:
01. さようなら Sayounara
02. 「叫び」 Sakebi
03. 幻影の貌 Gen'ei no Katachi
04. 凛 Rin
05. 風 Kaze
06. 運命の糸 Sadame no Ito ♥
07. うたかた Utakata
08. 破戒 Hakai
09. 奇祭 Kisai ♥
10. 霞んだ冬の向こうに... Kasunda Fuyu no Mukou ni...
11. 雫 Shizuku
Backstage

This digest is really short!! 11 songs compared to Kakushin it's 6 songs lesser. (x_x) The songs are so short I can't really determine which are my favourite in this live. lol.


Look at our dear Isshi without makeup on and those eyebags!! Poor little thing!! But he's so cute with the hair like this. lol. (^o^)

I just love his smile.  (//∇//)


This time is blue coat and gloves. But this took place a year earlier than Kakushin tour so I have to say Kakushin one is really much better. lol.

I find a little odd where there's 2 dancers behind isshi dancing to their songs. I don't think their dance style fits into Kagrra, songs tbh. lol. Why do u even need them? =/

Just wanna say that Akiya's hairstyle is a little funny to me. xD

↑ I think this is not a nice capture, but I want a full face of Isshi. >_<

Nao keep hitting his bass. lol.

The stage is quite dark why can they make it brighter? It really needs more lights!! So hard to capture my isshi properly.

I think this is the best close-up shot I can ever see here.

Here's just another one where we can see his full face. But it's so far and blur. (¬_¬)

I remember I used to listen to Utakata over a million times like Omou. It's just a very touching song.

And then isshi changed his shirt and wore a white cloak and gloves. I like this better. Hehe.

This scene is really beautiful~~

Then backstage:

Their black shirt design is pretty cool~!!

And ending off this post with my handsome Isshi's face. hehehe.

I had a great day~! ｖ（＾＿＾ｖ）♪

Little purchase 1404

Went to buy more MJCare masks as mentioned earlier. lol. but I think I'm still missing out some flavours. Maybe I should get the Red ginseng again too and post it here with the other masks . xD

I have been using masks less often lately so I guess I have to be more diligent now. It's actually really good as a way to relax for a while. Hehe. I guess I have different obsessions from time to time.  o(^▽^)o


I was watching Michelle Phan's video on Korean skincare/cosmetics and come to know about acne patches.

Didn't even realised the ones that I've bought is the same brand as the one she mentioned at first!! Lol.

It was kinda good initially, sort of shrinks the acne. But maybe cos my problem is kinda serious so it doesn't solve that fast? I can use up to 5 at one go and it's finishing soon although I didn't use it everyday. And that is because although I can put on makeup over it, the sides or border of the patch had my foundation which is so obvious!! It says that the patch will change to white but mine didn't. Strange though. Ar~~ at least I had something to help to reduce my acne problem. Hopefully it all be gone soon. >_<

The other 2 that I find interesting is the cheek masks and smile patch. She's so funny when putting on the smile patch!! =D I might gonna try them out too, when I'm gonna step into a Korean beauty store. Haven't done shopping in such a store for some time. lol.

But I might consider again, because...


"Smile lines are good, shows that you've lived a happy life." ~Michelle Phan 

Important dates to remember!!

My little note to remember all the dates related to my loves.. =D

January
Kagrra, Major Debut: Year 2004, 01 Jan
Aoi birthday: Year 1979, 20 Jan

February
Ruki birthday: Year 1982, 01 Feb
Nao birthday: Year 1979, 05 Feb
Izumi birthday: Year 1979, 11 Feb
Isshi [Oni-isshi] day: 14 Feb ♥

March 
Kagrra, Demise: Year 2011, 03 Mar
The Gazette Debut: Year 2002, 10 Mar
Kyan birthday: Year 1985, 15 Mar
My twitter date: Year 2011, 17 Mar
International day of Happiness: 20 Mar ♥

April
Kagrra, 四月一日: 01 Apr
Ayu Debut: Year 1998, 08 April  → Ayu's day every 8th of the Month.

May
My birthday xD
Reita birthday: Year 1981, 27 May

June
Kagrra, Formation day, Kotodama day : Year 2000, 03 June ♥
Uruha birthday: Year 1981, 09 June
KiriSho birthday: Year 1984, 20 June
Ayu Memorial Address: 30 June

July
Ayu July 1st: 01 July
Kagrra, 七月七日: 07 July
Isshi Death day: Year 2011, 18 July

August 
Akiya birthday: Year 1980, 25 Aug
Jun birthday: Year 1985, 30 Aug

September 
Shin birthday: Year 1979, 11 Sept
Namie birthday: Year 1977, 20 Sept

October
Masato 'Max' Matsuura birthday: Year 1964, 01 Oct
Ayu birthday: Year 1978, 02 Oct
Kai birthday: Year 1981, 28 Oct

November
Ayu November: 01 Nov
Golden bomber debut: Year 2006, 22 Nov
Kenji birthday: Year 1980, 28 Nov

December
Isshi birthday:  Year 1978, 07 Dec ♥


There's always something for each month! Great~!!  Time to mark calendar~~!

And I hope I can blog about the special days on that day itself. It'll be so meaningful.

So many dates to celebrate about! Hahaha. (≧▽≦) Happy July 1st~!!