Let me end my uneasiness...

Some things just keep boiling inside my heart.

I know I felt uncomfortable at some point but also relieved as well. When I see how happy they are...without me.

No, none of them contacted me. I was wondering if I'm considered as being part of their life at all. But of course, it seems, not anymore.

Maybe it's my fault since I used to forced myself to fit into the group, because I wanna feel I belong there...somewhere. But I knew, something is wrong since I feel uneasy instead. It's hard for me to do anything nor get any attention.


Now that I'm out of them, I do get it... We are in different worlds, afterall. That's not where I belong.


I know I shouldn't be bothered by such feelings again every time I see their photos without me, but somehow, doesn't it hurt to know that I probably don't mean a thing after all?

Or the period of time that we've been together is just too short for a friendship to build up good among us?

And so, I wasn't needed in their life anymore. Not even a bit.


Should I feel sad? I have no idea. It's somewhat an unexplainable feeling... I'm in fact glad that I need not force myself too much to be in a place where I don't belong. And yet, they probably never noticed.

Can I say that their happiness is fake? I'm not even sure how long can they be together... I'm even doubting them. Because they all got too close too soon.

It's gonna be a year very soon. And to think that this is how it turned out, that they are out my life too.


Although given me a choice again I might not choose the same route, but still it's a pity... how relations between some people have to be this way.


How important was I in their lives? I won't ever know the answer.

At least I experienced some things that I made me grow and learn a lot. One of it is that you shouldn't take anyone's words seriously. Well for some people their words aren't dependable and they're always saying for the sake of saying it. But I'm tired of such a fake relationship too.

Why can't you be truthful to me? I'm not like anyone... I've helped you so much, although I depended on you once back then, but yet.... >_<


Probably it's really time to end the disappointment.


I've already tried my best. Let me end my uneasiness... since I've got what you mean.


さようなら, if we ever meet again, I wonder how it'll be like.

Maybe total strangers? Because I would forget easily.... Well, sad truth.