Thoughts 02

Half a year has passed! How fast can this be, that it's now already end of June. Although initially I think it has been quite slow, because many things have actually happened that I can't wait for them to be over. >_<

Went to flip through my mini 'diary' for the past months on what I've done for the day. I'm glad that I'm still sticking to my resolutions since the start of the year. (⌒‐⌒) I was kinda slacked at first, I think. Oh well, but not really right? I seem to do many things, even continue my lyric writing that I've stopped for years, and always been Kagrra, here and there so much. lol. Hmm....so I guess I'm not that bad afterall. haha.

Yes, I have been doing all sorts of things while at the same time was feeling horrible. The feeling of being lost is definitely not good! That period of time where I had worse, and have no mood to write a thing...So now I can't recall exactly what happened back then. Is that a good thing? Well, I don't think I should remember it though, shall discard bad memories, since I've already did something like that by throwing my old diaries away. So this time I shall just not write any bad things in my mini diary? I have no idea! lol. My mood is directing me again.. =D

Anyway, one good thing about it is that, since I've been through the bad, I will cherish the good so much more now.. So I'm really happy. And I'll definitely work hard. I don't need anyone to push me, I can just do it myself. ヽ(・∀・)ノ


It's really unbelievable how things could happen. I can recall that I had a deja vu at that place of horror, so now come to think about it, I'm pretty afraid of having such prerecognition dreams. (T_T) It's scary in that I will only know that I have seen it before in my dream when it actually happened before my eyes, the exact scene even though it's just a few seconds. The familiarity sort of freak me out. At that point of time I had no idea what I can do about it, except to let it happen. I'm so afraid that it won't be something good. I've once thought that how nice would it be if I can see the future in my dreams at night, although I had lots of it when I was young and they don't mean a thing at all. But now, I wouldn't want it anymore.  (x_x) Since it doesn't help me to change the fact or anything in anyway. lol.


Had enough of the uneasiness that I've felt. It took so long for them all to be over. I'm glad that I've found my strengths and reassure myself once more that I am good and where my strengths are. Having a direction in life is really a great satisfying feeling. Having something that I wanna accomplish, having this dream that makes me look forward to it, I'm so glad I'm filled with drive and positivity. It can happen without me realizing it!!

Just do what I'm happy with and not regret even for the bad things that might happened cos they taught me something. I may hate it but it'll all be gone.


And I believe I become stronger each time.


I'm thankful. (⌒0⌒)

A little note to Isshi.

一志さま、そこに私を見てるの？

あなたに会いたいよ。あなたは知るかどうかかな。

もし私をここから見えたら、私の夢に現れてください！

あなたに手紙を書いてあげたいです。いつか私の思いが分かってるね。

今私の生活とてもいいです。毎日楽しい。

やる気をくれて、ありがとう～。


日本へ行ったら、あなたの故郷へ行きたいです。私達の距離は短くなりでしょう？

一志さまのような人が会わせてください！私の願いは叶えられるだろうね。(・∪・)　

じゃあ、夢と日本に会いましょう！


愛しての、
ゆうか

More reasons to study hard...

Even if studying by myself is gonna be so hard, but I've already made it this far.. Everytime I thought I couldn't but I ended up accomplishing it!!

Somehow I can't believe it either, that I can understand everything suddenly. lol.

So this just means it takes time, and more practice!! (^｡^)

Thanks my seller for lending this as well. (^o^) I'll have to do lots of reading!!

Spotted Kanji practice books at Daiso..

Yeah, goodness.. I'm still at primary school level. lol. I couldn't find primary 4 one. Primary 5 is really hard!! >_<


And now I have to start on my Level 2 I can feel the challenge! But since I can use Japanese at work so I have to get myself be really good at it!!


こつこつやっていこう！結果は後からついてくる。

よし、やるぞ！ ╰(*´︶`*)╯


I believe Isshi can see my hard work...right? (T . T)


Ah yes, he definitely can! Since he's our powerful Oni. He has already made me this strong. (//∇//)

Expect Rush II Magazine CD-rom Year 2002

Yeah~ Looking at what's inside the CD-rom at midnight this time. lol.

Thanks my seller for lending me. Hehe. But today is viewing the CD-rom so I won't be saying about the mag. Since I haven't really look at it. (>ω<)

Almost thought that I can't watch any videos from my com since the CD wants to install something. How strange. And weird things are appearing like that so obviously I can't install it. Seems dangerous. lol.

Lucky I managed to open it at my media player.. So it has separate videos for photoshoot and then an interview/game for each of the bands as shown in the mag cover. Tbh, I don't know any of the bands except for Kagrra,. Their names are so not familiar at all. lol.

Some pictures I've captured:

I think this guy looks interesting with that piercing. =p

No idea what this band is but the way they dressed is really very exaggerating~!

↓ This guy sure looked scary and he has those contact lenses on.

Another scary looking guy~~

I don't know what's up with this band but they're really funny. And I heard Sri Lanka.. for whatever reason?

↑ It's the doggie that I'm looking at. hahaha. Cute eyes~!


Yes the main focus of the day~!! My Kagrra,~!!  ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ Although I've already watched it at Youtube.

Why is Shin making that face? lol.

I love his hand! Looks really good~~ xD

They are just cute like that right? hehe.

There's really no difference. The video is exactly the same as I've seen before. ^_^; I thought I could have seen something new. But at least, I can see them again. And some other bands for the fun of it.

This band is playing a game where they'll stack on top of one another. Quite funny too. =D

That's all. And I happen to see links that direct me to their site:
file:///D:/CyberVision/Contents/SHOXX/2ch/2-5.files/sh_main.htm
http://www.ongakusenkasha.co.jp/

Not interested to see much, unless there's Kagrra,. lol. But I haven't seen any about them.

All are really short vids like a min plus, but it takes so much time for me. I wonder why.  Maybe I'm exhausted and I'm looking at them too slowly. Oh, and the installation thing. It freaked me out a little. =/


Alright, time to sleep~! Not really productive today since I thought of charging my energy.

It was still enjoyable!

Next I'll have to stare at the mag. (=^x^=)

Anime Requiem from the Darkness

It's title is actually very long, called 京極夏彦 巷説百物語 Kyogoku Natsuhiko Kosetsu Hyaku Monogatari. An anime in which I happened to chance upon once again~! ^o^

I was trying to find another interesting anime to watch after watching Another. And I thought meanwhile I shall just read the translation of Isshi's blog. Oh my goodness.. Isshi has mentioned about this book that has an anime adaption!! Suddenly I felt as though Isshi can hear me...as though he knows I'm looking for an anime to watch. To say that this was a pure coincidence, I might as well say it's fated! Cos the genre was the same that I previously watched → Horror and mystery. And it's a short anime too, though this one has one more episode. ^_^

This time round I took my time to watch and not be in such a rush like what I did for Another. Otherwise it'll really be too exhausting and kinda hard to digest what is going on. lol. It's quite an old anime [11 years ago] and the drawing doesn't seem to be very impressive, but I think it's good enough! Most importantly is still the story. Since the story took place during ancient times Edo period and the main character Momosuke wants to write ghost stories, I supposed that it's all about Japanese folktale type of anime. Well, not quite. Lol. I thought it was more about Youkai. But this was only for the first episode where it mentioned about Azuki arai. Although a little disappointed as I thought it'll be a Youkai anime but it was not, I still watched all anyway. Since I had something to watch as  recommended by isshi and it's the genre where I'm interested in, it's all awesome!! hehe. (≧▽≦)

Only the first episode scared me a little. The sound effects do play a good part in this. lol. Or maybe cos the more I watch, the more I got used to the gruesome things that are appearing. Eyeballs that fall out and blood pouring out of the head. It's just blood that splatter everywhere. But I don't think is considered scary at all.. I don't feel it's a horror anime. Haha. (^_^;)

I don't get why some episodes are hard to find, once again this just happens to like almost every anime that I'm watching. I can't get to watch Episode 10 and 11. I saw there's dubbed but what's the point of watching anime in dubbed when I wanna listen to Japanese to improve my listening skills as well too? And since is individual stories so I guess I can skip those 2 episodes. So happens that I've sort of didn't feel like watching it cos I've already know the ending. Why those 2 can't be watched yet is okay for the ending? lol.

I'm a little surprised that the opening and ending songs are English. To be frank, I didn't expect is a female singer. (~_~;) Because the voice is so low, I thought Keiko Lee was a guy. I quite like the opening song The Flame and this made me kinda like jazz now. Jazz don't appeal to me that much, but this was good. Or maybe I only like that song. haha. =)


I like the phrases that Mataichi was reciting at every episode, especially at the end:
心野心は闇に散り、残るは巷の怪しい噂。and おんぎょう、したてまつる。 ← [This one is what I've heard. I don't know if it's right]
And he also said things like: "Lies fill the truth so that no one is sure of anything. Isn't that how people manage to live their lives?" and "As we travel down the path of life, we are confronted by choices. Step off the path of righteousness and you become trapped in the depths of sin. In the end, this transient world is but a dream."

The confusion of the human world. -_-

I'm quite fascinated with this, although this one is about Ongyou but I felt is similar to Shinigami [effect from Deathnote]. They are spirit beings that are righteous with a mission to accomplish. I thought it would be nice if I can be like one of them. Being a human is just tough. It's nothing but troubles. Humans are emotional and I hated it! And there's all sorts of people, having to deal with them, thinking about how to live your life, wandering and pondering... isn't it such a hassle? What's my mission? Where is my direction? What is the right thing to do? I hate that there's no definite answers in life, and you only know how you should be doing when you faced with the problem. Nothing is in a fixed way, so this irritates me. (¬_¬)

I wonder if Isshi have such same thoughts as me. Or am I the only one who thinks a lot about such things? What's nice about being human. lol. I've got so many questions in my mind that I haven't yet got the answers. And we humans, are always constantly wishing for something... that we always couldn't get.


IF only I really had the power to do a change as and when I like it.

Do we have the power, or not? =|

Requiem from the Darkness storyline @ wikipedia 

Although it all hurts...

Arr..My stomach hurts since Friday morning. I tried to bear with it until now even when I'm outside. I didn't do anything else but to eat more food. (^_^;)

My gum sort of hurts when I bite or chew I have to be careful cos it seems that my right side wisdom tooth is starting to grow. Why at this age? Isn't it late already? >_< But my bottom left seems to hurt more. (T ^ T)

My wallet hurts cos I've been spending so much I can't control! I've bought accessories, 4 dresses in which I haven't even wore one yet, my Kagrra, CDs, some skincare/cosmetics stuffs. But of cos, I still have not got a bag and shoes that I've wanted cos I'm controlling myself. I really have the urge to when I see quite a lot of sales going on.

But, I'm very happy!!! Cos I've gotten the things I wanted so far. 1 more day left and I'll start to get busy!! I've already got no time or rather, the mood and effort to continue the translation test. It was so hard! I've decided to give up doing it when I see it again today and was thinking whether to continue updating. I guess not, since I haven't got a reply after a day's wait. I know I wasn't that important and afterall, it's not really that important to me too. I only thought I can give a shot since I was given the chance, but I have doubts that hasn't been answered which makes me feel no reason to continue if I wasn't sure if my effort was worth. I've spent an afternoon thinking about it, so I know I'm not good at it. Might as well give up rather than waste more time. Translation is other skill that's not easy to grasp, especially from English to Chinese. That's what I thought. Typing in Chinese takes so much time. lol. I love Chinese language yeah, but I would prefer to write it out with my pen, but typing and choosing the words....I feel so dreaded. And facing with such descriptive hard English.. Omg. I totally have a great headache. Oh yes, my head hurts too. (￣^￣) lol.

And I won't have the time to complete an online course too!! Was thinking how great would it be if I were to complete something within weeks and probably get a cert, but it takes time and effort to look through and do some assignments. I really got myself to write this learning journal while looking at the course through my phone sometimes. But I was already lagging behind by a month in the first place, I thought I can do it slowly so as to get myself moving. But studying does takes time for the brain to absorb information. No matter how fast I'll just not able to speed at the current pace for sure. Things just get more and more for the week, and for this week I haven't got the time at all to study. Good gracious! So I have to give up another thing this soon. lol. But it wasn't that important either. And they aren't my interest. I was testing it out to occupy my time and so it really seems to just fill up my time for some little knowledge and that's all. I didn't get to make myself do assignments. Oh well, not compulsory nor interest then I won't have the drive. lol.

So what am I left with now? Yes, continue to do what I'm good in, spend time on my interest. It will never be wrong.

Just do what I'm happy with and good things will start to come. ＼(*⌒0⌒)♪

My Kagrra, Nue and Sakura album~~ \(^o^)/

I bought the albums today~!! I'm so glad I finally got them in my hands! (≧▽≦)

Although buying them at this point would probably hurt my wallet so much. lol. But I already couldn't wait to get them since a long time ago.. And being so in love with Nue songs now especially Konton was just the right time! xD

I'm just so happy to know nice people cos of Kagrra,. (*´︶`*) My seller chatted with me so much today.. 2nd time we're meeting, and it was certainly good!! Even lent me some of her Japanese textbooks. Thank goodness you're of such a great help, not just once!! ^_^ I will definitely study hard too!! (-^〇^-)

And besides the CDs, she showed me the Kagrra, photobook and magazines~
[Have to ignore the fact that I snapped the photos at such a bad angle. lol.]

Photobook:

Isshi is definitely so handsome here. (^-^) Our Oni~~~

Magazine:

And there's a poster inside it!! So cool~!! If only I can have this too!! I love their simple outfits here too. I can't stop staring at those pics. Omg. xD

Magazine:

I don't know why some of the photos didn't appear the right way when I've already turned and saved them. Argh never mind. I'm already too eager to upload all the photos to be bothered about it now. Haha shall just tilt my head, worth the little ache to see their faces. (≧▽≦)

Seeing them just brightens up my day.  ^_^ Although I can't buy them, but viewing them right before my eyes and touching them a little [although they're just paper xD]~~~~~ is just a miracle~! I have never thought of it!! This made me feel so lucky!!  Having them just right in front of me!! Such rare Kagrra items! So I'm really grateful!! Oh and there's this CD-rom in this Expect Rush magazine. I will see what's inside soon!! And I shall just touch this magazine more....hahaha. Cherish this little moment. (^｡^)


Thank you so much!! It's a fulfilling day~~ I love all Kagrra, fans, you are all my friends ♥